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RdTripgirl

Chaperones

7 posts in this topic

Although waiting is a strong personal decision, I think it was instilled into me by my parents.  I am 33 and mentioned to my Dad I have a date tomorrow, and he says if I don't have a chaperone that I could put myself in a testing situation.  I haven't dated much recently and this would be a first date.

 

My parents seem under the impression that if you are alone with someone and they start charming you, then you will lose all will power and go to a hotel with them.  

 

Does anyone else feel like chaperones is a good idea?

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I'm only 23 but the idea of having a chaperone on a date sounds ridiculous to me. And if someone suggested that I should have a chaperone to avoid temptation I'd feel insulted.

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You don't need a chaperone to avoid a testing situation, just be mindful of where you go during the date. Having a coffee date at Starbucks isn't welcoming temptation in the slightest. Now if the two of you are alone in a bedroom when nobody's home, that's a different story. If the two of you have clearly defined boundaries, you don't need to bring a third wheel with you.

 

Honestly, I find the idea of having a chaperone (as an adult) to be more than a bit much. Like Matthew said, it's patronizing and insulting to think that grown folks can't date chastely without another pair of eyes on them at all times.

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Agreed with Matthew and Buster Cannon. Choosing to wait is a personal decision, and if you can't stick to it as an adult without a chaperon, you're probably not very strong in your beliefs.

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Thanks everyone!  

And I agree, and tried to explain my stand to my Dad.  But he is just being a Dad and super protective I guess.  

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On 12/29/2015 at 2:35 PM, RdTripgirl said:

Although waiting is a strong personal decision, I think it was instilled into me by my parents.  I am 33 and mentioned to my Dad I have a date tomorrow, and he says if I don't have a chaperone that I could put myself in a testing situation.  I haven't dated much recently and this would be a first date.

 

My parents seem under the impression that if you are alone with someone and they start charming you, then you will lose all will power and go to a hotel with them.  

 

Does anyone else feel like chaperones is a good idea?

Not after 30 years old. You need to have practice steering your own ship and navigating the seas of your life, so to speak.  You don't need a chaperone, you need your own will!  You are a grown woman, and you need to know how to set boundaries.  Very important at this stage in life. 

Your dad is just trying to protect you, but the BEST thing he could do is teach you how to protect yourself.  

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I agree with previous posters. I don’t think you need a chaperone since you are not in high school. You are a grown 30 something year old woman and I am sure that you know your boundaries. Stick to them and let no man under mine then. You are a person of worth who is capable of directing her own life. 

 

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