How do you get out of a self defeating mentality?

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There are many ways. 1- Pray for God to help. 2- Try to be friends with optimistic people. 3- Get help from a professional to help you work through your issues and 4- Stay positive and carry on...

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Hey DHZ!


Believe me, the following really works:


1. Make a list of the top 10 things you'd like to be/do/have


2. Stand in front of a mirror in privacy


3. Take one item from your list, look yourself square in the eyes and say that you are/have/are doing that item on your list.


4. Say it again, only more convinced that it's actually true.


5. Say it yet again.


6. Stand there eye to eye and hear what you just said, letting it sink in.


7. Repeat for the next item.


Do this at least every morning and evening if you can't do it as often as you feel defeated, until you are convinced of what you are being told. What you keep telling yourself will begin resonating in your mind more and more strongly each day. Eventually your actions will follow your belief to where you start progressing towards those things becoming reality.

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Hello DHZ, 


I agree with what has been said so far and I must add that, you must first understand that a self-defeating mentality is not from God. It is the devil's way of diverting your attention and focus from who you truly are.


I like to relate it to some imagery. 


Imagine for a minute, you are driving a car, with some loved ones in the backseat  In driving, you do your normal periodic quick checks in your side or rear view mirror (but there's a reason your windscreen is that large and conveniently placed IN FRONT of you)

Here's the twist -

While behind the wheels,you do not fix your eyes on the road and your journey ahead.You constantly turn at every screech and whistling you hear behind you (which seems to taunt you constantly). 

I can assure you, without the gift of prophecy, that you will crush your car into something or some other cars and end up hurting (or worse killing) yourself, those you carry in your car, and even some other drivers. 


Let's bring this home: 

  • Those in the backseat are YOUR destiny and those whose lives you are to affect while you live
  • The road is your course for this life (Hebrews 12:1-2)
  • Other cars are people you meet on your life's journey
  • Your car is your person (body, soul and spirit)
  • Your road diversions are the things the devil conveniently places there to distract us and help us self-destruct. 
  • Your rear and side mirrors are those things (e.g. conscience, spirit) that help you check yourself from time to time. 


Now this is the reason I'm particularly excited about Joshua's advice: 

To me, that privacy and speaking to yourself in the closet in front of the mirror, is like rolling up your glasses, with a constant confession of who you are in Christ. It keeps your eyes so fixated on your course that it blocks out every whistling and taunt of the devil on the side of the road, to divert your attention, as you build your momentum in life. It nullifies his every attempt to get you to self-destruct. 

When you consider yourself in Christ, you do not feel any less deserving of the natures you will profess in front of that mirror because you are in Christ and Christ makes you worthy of them. 


I say this with some passion because, I have been there. And i must add that, from time to time, even as you do this, the devil will check in to see if you've lost track to perhaps yield to his distractions. 


Stay focused and speak to yourself (your spirit, soul and body). You cannot let yourself down; your generation and all creation awaits your manifestation (Romans 8:19). There is nothing defeating about this. This is a place of strength. Your life will impact many. You are laden with destiny and you will accomplish great things. Believe this! Profess what you want to see. Declare it! Proverbs 18:21 - Your tongue carries power to bring life. So speak words of life  and your spirit will respond to bring a shift in your mentality.

Encourage yourself in the Lord, DHZ. (1 Samuel 30:6); He's really good at stuff like this!  ;)

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