mgallagher

Is virginity more special for a guy or for a girl?

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Hi Everyone!

 

I'm learning about virginity and it seems that for women it is referred to often as a "flower" but there are no such metaphors for a guys virginity? Is it more important for a woman to be pure at marriage than for her husband to be?

 

Thank you!

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I think, especially for waiters, viginity can be equally special for men and women. For some individuals it's even more so and for some it's not but I don't think the split is necrssarily related to gender but instead is related to how the person views sex and themselves.

A womans virginity is referred to as many things, including flower, because women's virginity is something that has always been viewed more positively and as something more important than male virginity.

There's a real double standard here and it does suck that there's so much more pressure on men to have sex and for women not to. It is a historical and cultural norm for promiscuity to be encouraged in men and for purity to be encouraged in women but that is really wrong in my opinion.

Virginity is a personal thing. If someone wants to have sex they should be allowed to, male or female. And if someone wants to save that first experience they should be allowed to, male or female. And moreover those people shouldn't be judged for a decision that is theirs to make.

And I think it's important for someone to be a virgin at marriage if that's their choice. If it's what they want then it's important. No one gets more points for not having sex, it's not anything to do with anyone else. We just have to do what's right for us, that's what is important

That was quite a tangent but my point is it special because of the person we are as opposed to the gender and no one has the right to tell us otherwise.

And also I don't focus so much on virginity. It's not an actual tangible thing someone can take. In fact it's quite the opposite, it's an experience you gain. I prefer not to view that experience as me losing anything because I just don't see it that way. I will be gaining a lot and that will be special. To me waiting is very special. Virginity is part of the package but isn't something I feel I can take ownership of since it doesn't exist.

So I won't be giving my husband my virginity, I will be taking from him a wonderful gift. We will be sharing an experience and that is only a chance to gain, to feel more complete and to begin a life. The word 'losing' doesn't really fit there if you ask me.

I hope this makes sense, sorry it's overly long!

-BB

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Well,

 

From what I've seen women who are virgins tend to be more favorable to a man who's no longer a virgin but is "born again" than a man who is a virgin is to be favorable to a woman who is no longer a virgin.

 

Exceptions exist but that's the rule

Welcome to disappointment.

 

Oh,

And welcome to the site, not everyone here is as cynical as me, promise :)

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I think men are unfairly treated as social losers for being virgins, that's my experience.  I don't even know how I am going to tell a lady that I am one.  I imagine she'll suspect that I am a virgin and then I will get wise, and break it off so I don't get rumors about virginity floating around the neighborhood.  Virginity, by far, is the single most secret thing I carry in my life because I think I have to protect it, not because I am humble, or something...

 

Being a virgin man is NOT favorable by ANY stretch of the imagination in the real world, imho.  If there is suddenly an economic collapse, I will run to the hills so they don't offer me as a virgin sacrifice to some bullshit idol who can't find any other use for a male of my stature than to kill me off.  Frankly, I would rather have my virginity taken against my will by a female than to get killed off when the world goes to shit, but we know that no one will find a virgin man desirable.  Virgin men, especially my age, are considered social failures.  There must be "something wrong with them" according to the world.

 

Even though I don't believe that Jesus considers me a social failure, it doesn't really matter here on earth because no one really cares here.  I have to die because I will never become socially validated for once until I reach heaven...

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From what I've seen women who are virgins tend to be more favorable to a man who's no longer a virgin but is "born again" than a man who is a virgin is to be favorable to a woman who is no longer a virgin.

 

I think men are unfairly treated as social losers for being virgins, that's my experience.  I don't even know how I am going to tell a lady that I am one.  I imagine she'll suspect that I am a virgin and then I will get wise, and break it off so I don't get rumors about virginity floating around the neighborhood.  Virginity, by far, is the single most secret thing I carry in my life because I think I have to protect it, not because I am humble, or something...

 

Being a virgin man is NOT favorable by ANY stretch of the imagination in the real world, imho.  If there is suddenly an economic collapse, I will run to the hills so they don't offer me as a virgin sacrifice to some bullshit idol who can't find any other use for a male of my stature than to kill me off.  Frankly, I would rather have my virginity taken against my will by a female than to get killed off when the world goes to shit, but we know that no one will find a virgin man desirable.  Virgin men, especially my age, are considered social failures.  There must be "something wrong with them" according to the world.

 

Even though I don't believe that Jesus considers me a social failure, it doesn't really matter here on earth because no one really cares here.  I have to die because I will never become socially validated for once until I reach heaven...

 

Guys, I know it's easy to be cynical, I've been there. But I think the belief that most girls look at virgin men with disdain is on par with the false female belief that there are no male waiters anymore. That's all it is, a lie. I've met many women who gave their virginities away and regretted and would consider it a bonus if they ended up with a virgin guy. To feel defeated by this is to succumb to the society on their terms instead of your own. We are not slaves to society. Society is a slave to itself. 

 

I know it's hard to, but I'd encourage you to not be ashamed of being a male virgin and instead owning it. Who cares about the so-called "real world?" This entire community is not of the "real world," so all of us here know a little something about not following the crowd. Any woman who looks down on you for being a virgin is probably not the kind of woman you'd want to be with anyways. I certainly wouldn't want a woman who preferred experience. I want a woman who appreciates that I waited for her and they are many out there who would. Most of the women I associate with are like that.

 

The societal idea that masculinity is based on how many women you've slept with is stupid and juvenile. There is nothing manly about manipulating women into bed for our own selfish desires. On the contrary, that is more akin to animalistic savagery. it is utter weakness to allow ourselves to be ruled by our primal urges to the point of treating human beings as disposable pleasures. No, true manhood is defined by strength. It is defined by restraint. Most importantly, it is defined by strong moral conviction. Be proud of your choice to wait. 

 

I recently was informed by one of my best friends that his brother had contracted an STD from his latest casual sex escapade. The fool didn't wear a condom because he was dumb enough to believe a girl he barely knew that she was clean. Now he feels like he is peeing flames every time he takes a leak. I doubt even the loosest of all women would find that desirable. So yeah, society can call me a loser virgin all they want. At least I'll be the loser virgin who will have an enjoyable experience every time I go pee. :P

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To piggyback off of Vince's post, there's a difference between being a virgin that CAN'T have sex as opposed to one that WON'T have sex because they're saving it for marriage. One is a sign of weakness, the other is a sign of strength.

If you're serious about not having sex before marriage, own your virginity and whatever potential stigmas that might come with it. If they think you're a loser, who cares?

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If virginity is more special for a woman it's because society sexually repressed women. Being a virgin woman wasn't always a choice, it was a requirement to fit into polite society. Nowadays you're a loser if you're a virgin no matter what your gender is.

 

I think virginity is special in the eyes of the person that they waited for. If a man waited his whole life for me I would consider his virginity priceless, whereas I see my virginity as a label that's just there. 

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Totally  agree with Invicible and Buster cannon ...

Plus, as a woman I deeply value virginity in a man: it is so beautiful and attractive.

It reveals a great character, a great strength.

I admire virgin men who don't give up because of social pressure.

 

YOu are all very precious for me.

Your future wives will be happy !

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Subjectively speaking it feels different to everyone and how people view it is strongly related to the degree of understanding influenced by many factors e.g. culture, religion, local environment, intelligence etc., but objectively speaking it's not just about virginity but what is related to it: giving something to this significant other that has never been given to anyone else - entire self. That is the most beautiful and priceless gift one can give and/or receive. 

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Frankly, I would rather have my virginity taken against my will by a female than to get killed off when the world goes to ****,
 

 

:D:lol::P toooo funny !!!!!

OMG :rolleyes:

but we know that no one will find a virgin man desirable.  Virgin men, especially my age, are considered social failures.
 

THAT IS SOoooooo UNTRUE !!!! I greatly admire you for this ! Open your eyes !

You're a winner not a loser ! I was wondering if there were still men your age who could have this mentality...

And you have it : you are really a rare gem...don't let anybody tell you the contrary, or I'll kick you (well, not really, I can't :P )

 


Even though I don't believe that Jesus considers me a social failure, it doesn't really matter here on earth because no one really cares here.  I have to die because I will never become socially validated for once until I reach heaven...

THat's not true : I don't consider you as a social failure, and you are not a social failure.

And here on the community plenty of people don't consider you as a social failure.....

You had the strong mentality to not go as the trends : that is a strength, not a weakness... ok? :angry:

joking :P:D:lol:

 

 

I don't even know how I am going to tell a lady that I am one.  I imagine she'll suspect that I am a virgin and then I will get wise, and break it off so I don't get rumors about virginity floating around the neighborhood.

 

A  lady who is worth it and who is meant to share your life will never act like this.

She will greatly respect you for this. And she will be so happy also !

 

 

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Gods physicist , how old are you if I may ask . I'm in my 40's and a virgin , I don't care about society's opinion because society's opinions can change with the wind and society's opinions n is extremely shallow. I know what your going through dude. I was on a national talk show as their main guest and the director didn't want me talking about neither my beliefs or that I'm waiting till marriage to have sex. All they wanted to do was try to pass me off as saying neons that was looking for ussy . Unfortunately I succumbed to pressure and had my first kiss on that talk show from some girl in the audience . Because the backstage people were all women on the a talk show I couldn't stand women for 3months after . I always pictured saving my first kiss for my soulmate . All I know is that I will never allow society to pressure me again .

The next time I kiss a girl it will be the one .

My question is where do you go to meet women ? Maybe charity events would be a great idea ?

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I admit, I'm guilty of a double standard. I'm 100% committed to being a virgin on my wedding night. But I don't expect my husband to be. it's a bit unrealistic. And secretly......I sort of hope he's not because I want the earth to move for me on my wedding night and I suspect he needs to be experienced for that to happen.

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To piggyback off of Vince's post, there's a difference between being a virgin that CAN'T have sex as opposed to one that WON'T have sex because they're saving it for marriage. One is a sign of weakness, the other is a sign of strength.

 

That's true.

I know people who sort of "became" WTM because they weren't able to find someone to be and have sex with.I am sure that they would stop immediately the waiting if they find someone willing to have sex with them.

For me people who wait are not loosers but I have to admit that I see a difference between " can but I wait" and "can't and I wait".

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Oh jeez, I made a massive answer and something went wrong and now it's gone TT^TT
In short:



Thinking about society:

Women value their virginity on average around one million dollars.
For men, about 500 bucks. [citation needed]
Overall, women's sexuality seems to be more valuable in society. Why?
(disregarding religion and traditions, thinking more about western secular society)

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dating/

Women deem 80% of guys less-than-average attractiveness.
This means 80% guys less likely to get laid and more likely to be virgins.
Their virginity is not rare.

Men deem women 50% above average attractiveness.

This means 50% women more likely to get laid and not be virgins.
Their virginity is rarer.

Women are less likely to have sex with any random guys and have more decisions and power when it comes to (non-criminal) sexual encounters.

This means men are less likely to have sex when they want it and so are more willing and more available, thus lowering the value of their sexuality. 
Women can walk into a bar, offer sex and get a bunch of men jumping at the chance.
You'd be hard pressed to find a man who can succeed vice versa.

This isn't to say all men are simple perverts lol having sex and having desires is a natural part of being human, and isn't confined to just men; women are perves too ;) . Individuals make their own choices, and this is the world we live in where our instincts still affect us and boobs and butts rule. I personally welcome our bouncy overlords(or even flat, tbh).



Thinking about individuals:

I prefer this because collective statistics don't matter to the individual; we don't need to jumble ourselves into a heartless calculation because we each live our own personal lives. You choose for yourself what is special, and your choices and culturing and interactions determine how successful you are or how special your sexuality is (or your partner's). Personally, I don't want to have more than one sexual partner, and I would hope I can find a partner who feels the same. To me, she'd have to be pretty special to have kicked back the horny 80%, and then choose me, a pretty boring, average guy. Women who WTM must have a tough time getting to the altar while deflecting so much dick lol.

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