Tom Chen

Cheating

5 posts in this topic

Hey everyone, I've got a subject up for debate and I want to hear everyone's opinion on this! So here it is: Is it cheating if you have feelings for someone else while you are already dating someone?

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Everyone has feelings or weakness for someone else at some point, even just a trace of a thought. Its acting on those that is cheating, its allowing those thoughts to fester into more than just a passing thought and allowing the other person to believe there is a chance with you, leading someone on, using someone for attention that you should be getting from your significant other, that might not be cheating in a physical sense, but its emotionally cheating, and emotions make people irrational, and your much more likely to physically cheat when you are blinded by emotion. 

I believe however there a slightly different standards for men and women, because we are designed so differently. 

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No, not in and of itself. Cheating isn't a feeling, it's a choice motivated by a intent to betray trust or recklessly compromise relationship boundaries. Having feelings for another person is like physical attraction. For the most part, you can't control it You're going to be attracted to people other than your SO. Those things don't turn off simply because you're dating or married. It's what you do with those feelings that determine whether you're cheating or not.

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Cheating happens when you bask in and act on those feelings. I FEEL like throwing up my middle finger, calling people names, calling out to stay home and watch movies, feel like not praying, feel LIKE not washing my car, do I go by what I feel or what is right, and what is in the best interest of others?!

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I guess it depends on whom you ask. Scientifically speaking, when polled, men reported feeling betrayed (cheated on) if their SO had sexual contact with someone else, but not if the SO had feelings for someone else. Inversely, women reported that they could get over their SO having sex with someone else, but felt betrayed (cheated on) if the SO fell in love with someone else. In my opinion, they are one in the same. If my SO had sex with someone else, but claimed to still love me, I wouldn't believe them, because if they loved me then their love should have kept them from cheating on me. In the same way, if they had feelings for someone else I would feel that it didn't matter that they hadn't had sex yet, because they had already given that person their heart. 

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