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Certificate of virginity

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I wouldn't want my wife to have to go through this. If she tells me that she´s a virgin, then I trust her, I don´t need proof.

She would have to trust in my word too. But that's how I would like my marriage to be ( built on trust). Asking for a certificate would be very disrespectful to her and her word in my opinion.

 

But hey! If she wants to get it because she's proud of herself and wants to share it, then ok. But I don't need to see it and wouldn't really be comfortable with showcasing it like its a trophy.

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This bothers me on a whole bunch of levels.

 

That "certificate" is totally medically inaccurate. There's absolutely no way for a doctor to verify a woman's "purity" or lack of. Women can have little-to-no hymen without having sex, and women can have sex without getting rid of the hymen. The doctor who signed off on that should be ashamed.

 

And even people who think it's possible to verify a woman's virginity know it's impossible to do the same for a man. It seems an incredible double-standard for a woman to go through a pelvic exam in order to present some nonsense "certificate," while the groom only goes by his word. Even the family's own dynamics (the article reveals that this woman's older sister was also WTM, and presented the same "certificate," while their brother had premarital sex) shows that their local religious/social culture is not doing a great job of promoting waiting equally for both men and women.

 

Finally...she doesn't present the certificate to her husband...she gives it to her father. And she says she was WTM not to honor her husband...but to honor her father. ....Ick. I've never understood why certain WTM movements push this narrative of fathers being the "protector and keeper" of their daughters' virginity. It's completely gross to me. Can you imagine the comments a man would get if he allowed his mother to be involved in his sex life to that degree? Why is it ok for fathers/daughters but not ok for mothers/sons? Sorry if there are people reading this who participate in those kinds of events and enjoy them. I just do not get it.

 

IMO, this is exactly the kind of stuff that makes WTM look bad to the majority of people in society, which means that a lot of less religious/non-religious people won't even consider it an option, even if it's what would work best for them. So. yeah, my feathers get a little ruffled each time I see another article that presents this as the "typical" WTM-er.

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This bothers me on a whole bunch of levels.

 

That "certificate" is totally medically inaccurate. There's absolutely no way for a doctor to verify a woman's "purity" or lack of. Women can have little-to-no hymen without having sex, and women can have sex without getting rid of the hymen. The doctor who signed off on that should be ashamed.

 

And even people who think it's possible to verify a woman's virginity know it's impossible to do the same for a man. It seems an incredible double-standard for a woman to go through a pelvic exam in order to present some nonsense "certificate," while the groom only goes by his word. Even the family's own dynamics (the article reveals that this woman's older sister was also WTM, and presented the same "certificate," while their brother had premarital sex) shows that their local religious/social culture is not doing a great job of promoting waiting equally for both men and women.

 

Finally...she doesn't present the certificate to her husband...she gives it to her father. And she says she was WTM not to honor her husband...but to honor her father. ....Ick. I've never understood why certain WTM movements push this narrative of fathers being the "protector and keeper" of their daughters' virginity. It's completely gross to me. Can you imagine the comments a man would get if he allowed his mother to be involved in his sex life to that degree? Why is it ok for fathers/daughters but not ok for mothers/sons? Sorry if there are people reading this who participate in those kinds of events and enjoy them. I just do not get it.

 

IMO, this is exactly the kind of stuff that makes WTM look bad to the majority of people in society, which means that a lot of less religious/non-religious people won't even consider it an option, even if it's what would work best for them. So. yeah, my feathers get a little ruffled each time I see another article that presents this as the "typical" WTM-er.

 

Well said! I completely agree. I wonder what would have happened if the doctor had discovered that it "appeared" as if she'd had sex. As you rightly say there's no way to definitively tell if someone is a virgin but using tampons can disrupt a hymen or it might not even be enough hymen to disrupt. So if this "doctor" had viewed such lack of hymen or believed for some reason that she had engaged in sex before marriage would she have been refused a certificate even though she may well have been a virgin? 

 

Also I agree with it not being something you'd want to share with your father. Each to their own but personally I don't think she should have to prove it to her father. If she wants to tell him she's waiting then fine but surely he should believe his child. And why else would she want to give him certificate? Whatever her reasons, I wouldn't judge her for what makes her happy but I don't think that any doctor should be signing such a certificate so I do have an issue with this. It's also possible that someone has had sex and a doctor (such as this one who believes that they can actually tell) is convinced she hasn't so she can lie about it and have back up for her lie. 

 

And I agree that these articles are largely what the world sees from this community and it is so often completely unrepresentative of the majority of waiters. It's such a shame that this is all that people see and therefore what they may think we're all about.

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That "certificate" is totally medically inaccurate. There's absolutely no way for a doctor to verify a woman's "purity" or lack of. Women can have little-to-no hymen without having sex, and women can have sex without getting rid of the hymen. The doctor who signed off on that should be ashamed.

Exactly. The physician can only certify whether or not the hymen is there; he cannot cerify virginity of any sort. A church, on the other hand, could do that, but not physicians, based on normative statements rather than verifiable facts.

EDIT: Nominal → Normative, typing error.

What do you all think about this? Would this be something you'd wish to do at your own wedding?

http://www.buzzfeed.com/terripous/this-brides-certificate-of-purity-is-causing-a-massive-debat?bftw&utm_term=.hp4OAZ0Zg#.btQ5pAwA8

Nope, seriously. I would trust her words. There is hardly any need for this, in our place, regarding this.

I wouldn't want my wife to have to go through this. If she tells me that she´s a virgin, then I trust her, I don´t need proof.

She would have to trust in my word too. But that's how I would like my marriage to be ( built on trust). Asking for a certificate would be very disrespectful to her and her word in my opinion.

But hey! If she wants to get it because she's proud of herself and wants to share it, then ok. But I don't need to see it and wouldn't really be comfortable with showcasing it like its a trophy.

Exactly. I wouldn't make it a trophy-advertising. It will be something done by my sweetheart for me, and vice versa.
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Well, this is bizarre. Especially getting a doctor to "prove" she's a virgin. Yeah, that's not really how it works...

 

xxx

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It's really weird to me, but if someone wants to do it then go ahead. 

 

But shouldn't she have given it to her husband instead of her father? Unless she was going to screw her dad first on her wedding night I don't see the reason for giving it to her father instead of her husband.

 

And it's not like having this certificate is 100% proof that she hasn't had sex or done any other type of sexual activity.

 

Also those comments on the article are just ugh. I kinda wish she didn't make this thing public, It's just gonna reinforce the stereotypes about WTM people being weirdos. Yes, some WTM people do weird things, but not all WTM people are like that.

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I don't have a problem with a daughter making a promise to her dad that she's going to save herself for marriage. However, making that into a signed public document seems like a bit much.

It wasn't just her promise that was made public, she actually went to a doctor and had it 'confirmed'...yeah, talk about overkill. Thing is, a doctor can't actually confirm that because a woman can lose that part of her through other, non-sexual means. Besides, it's fully possible for a woman to pass that 'test' and still engage in plenty of...*ahem* 'other sexual activities'.

I'm glad that she waited successfully along with her husband, but I can't help but find the whole document ritual to be more than a little invasive...

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She'll present a doctor-signed certificate and I'll give a short speech about my love of the Dark Souls game series.

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I don't like it. Being a virgin and waiting till marriage is something intensely private for me. Getting a certificate for being a virgin would be analogous for a man having his you-know-what measured and certified by a doctor.(Take a moment to imagine that XD) It's just too much information and unromantic.

 

Not to mention it's gender exclusive too.

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Ive never done anything but all I would require is for my wife to be willing to wait and not be a virgin. I don't really believe that the lord sees those that are waiting and had sex any different than those that are virgins because He casts your sins completely away when you Truely repent. The thing is I bet a lot of people ask for repentance after they sin knowing that they want to have sex or do lustful things again which is not true repentance. 

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So this story popped up on my facebook yesterday, and after giving the story a second look it turns out that the couple lives in the same county I do.

 

AODr5fJ.png

 

http://www.fox5dc.com/news/local-news/36858555-story

 

Again, I don't think this is a bad idea in itself, because all she wanted as to tell her dad that she stuck with her promise to WTM. The picture of her and the dad with the giant virginity certificate still weirds me out though, she really didn't need to crank it up to 11 like that lol.

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