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WakeUp&BeAwesome

Do you ever wonder what it would be like when things don´t work out?

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The other night I was watching this documentary.

It´s a documentary about virgins (mostly older) who finally want the experience of having sex.

 

 

The story which kind of triggered some questions for me, is the one about the woman (43 years old).

Apparently, she was a waiter, because it says, that she lived a celibate life, because she thought sex outside of marriage is wrong.

 

I write down the time markers, which are relevant to her story (the documentary involves three seperate stories), if you are interested in watching:

 

5:08 min

 

17:48 min

 

28:46 min

 

38:12 min

 

42:10 min

 

46:42 min

 

 

1) Do you ever wonder what it would be like if things regarding WTM won´t work out for you? Or is it a thought you don´t want to ponder on?

 

2) Is WTM worth a life alone for you?

 

3) I know it´s hard to imagine what would be in two or three decades and you are still waiting then, but do you think, there will be a time (when you are much older than now and still waiting), that you seriously don´t see a point in waiting, anymore? Have you ever thought about that?

 

For example, when you are 50. And a huge factor why you are waiting is because you want sex only with that person you are going to spend your life with, maybe build a family with.....

But when you are 50 or even 60, some things are too late by then (like having children; I know it might be possible, but for me personally it would be too old; especially all the health risks (for the woman) involving and getting pregnant in the first place).

 

Of course, you can still find someone to live your life with when you are 50 or older. It´s never too late to find love. That is not what I´m saying.

But I guess, WTM becomes somewhat different when you are marrying in your early 50´s in comparison to marrying in your twenties (just as an example). Especially when you are a virgin and have a real desire to finally, after all the decades, experience sex as part of the human race.

 

Any thoughts regarding all of this?

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Im not worried. For me personally it takes a strong Christian to do this. Like i said I really really hope the Lord does not make me wait that long but it has deepened my relationship so much with Him that the spirit lets me know what to read in the Bible. God showed me that my wife will be like Song of Songs ...beautiful and worth it! and that he is capable of sending her my way like he did for Ruth's husband. 

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1) I worry about WTM and relationship stuff kind of regularly. I worry about finding someone that's both waiting and compatible. I'll likely try online dating once I get my life more on track.

2) No. I'd trade waiting in a heartbeat if I found out that it would prevent me from ever finding a partner. Waiting is a means to a preferable end.

3) I would most likely reach a point where I'd give up on waiting. I can't say for sure when that point would be. Maybe or maybe not before 40; definitely before 50. But I can only speculate.

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Frack you for making me think about this!!!! Lol, no. Good questions. I think that I would really really REALLY hope that God's plan for me doesn't include waiting until I'm super old. But I know what his word says, and he is the same yesterday, today and forever. If he commands us to wait, than that's what it is. Some people aren't meant to marry, but instead to dedicate their lives to serving God in a particular way. I think that the fact that he have me the desire to marry means that, in his time, he will give me the desire of my heart. But if the years kept plucking away, I'd like to think that I would be patient and wait on the Lord. Fingers crossed I don't have to find out  :unsure:

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Thanks so far for your honest answers!

 

It is indeed hard to think about all those questions.

 

I really find myself in your answers, Matthew!

 

I am committed to waiting, but if it turns out that it really prevents me from living my life the way I want to

(in particular I mean having children and sharing my life with a partner)

and everything looks like that I am still going to be waiting when I am 40 or 50 (heck, even mid-thirties is too long when I don´t have a prospective partner and marriage in sight by then), then I might be bound to change some of my ideals. Will that make anything better? Who knows.....maybe not. I can only assume.

 

I hope I don´t have to change my ideals and my desire to wait, though...I would love to wait and find someone who wants the same and is compatible with me.

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I can't be 100% certain, but I think I'll wait no matter what. I really want to experience sex one day, but I think it would just be ruined for me if I didn't have my first time with a virgin as a virgin in marriage (or, at the very least, as a virgin with a virgin I've been dating a very long and and am essentially married to). I don't think I would ever really be able to enjoy sex if I gave up my true desires simply for the sake of having sex and getting married.

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This is a great topic, and I have thought about it as I've looked at some older, unmarried women in church who may or may not be virgins. I've spent time thinking about this very question, "What happens if I never get married? THEN WHAT? No sex? No children? No love life?" 

 

Welllll, I'm not waiting to have sex because I want to find a suitable partner. The reason why I am not having sex is because of obedience to Jesus. I am celibate primarily because Jesus wants me to be. I am NOT celibate PRIMARILY because I believe sex is sacred and should be shared with a life partner. I do want to preserve sex for a future mate, but if it weren't for Jesus, I would have had sex by now. My faith keeps me centered, otherwise I would have justified sex outside of marriage by now. I would have told myself, 'I have never even DATED another virgin. So my future husband will have a sexual past. It won't matter if I do, too."

 

WTM is worth "a life alone" to me because I am not waiting because I want to find a partner who shares my belief. I am waiting to have sex because I am not married and sex outside of marriage is against Gods desires for me. I cannot have sex until I meet the man God wants me to marry. And if I never meet him or he doesn't exist, okay. But I must present my body to God as a living sacrifice anyway, just like the Bible says: my sex drive, hormones, everything, is a sacrifice. And  having no sexual past actually kind of makes it easier to present my body as a living sacrifice. I would LOVE to experience sex one day, (FOR REAL), but if I don't, (which I hope is not my portion) I am okay because the chastity I practice is about sacrifice TO GOD. Jesus is WORTH IT. He's worth the HARD, HARD, HARD sacrifice. Watching your friends get married (I mean, back to back)? It's a HUGE TRIAL. Watching everyone start families? It's hard!!!! Seeing your friends from college and high school who have grade-school-aged kids? THAT's HARD. And it gets harder as you remain single and get older. There are a lot of sinful habits I need to break, but having sex outside of marriage does not need to be added to that list. Jesus is worth the sacrifice. Part of the reason why I do not care if I don't end up with another virgin is because I am NOT saving myself FOR MY HUSBAND's sake, primarily. I am saving sex for God's sake, rather for my sake, to obey God. And in obeying God, I am being spared from heartbreak, heartache, STDs, b.s., etc.

 

Am I prepared to die a childless virgin? Honestly, that is something I have come to terms with. I'm 26. I have a few years to go, but I know one day I would like to adopt kids, even if I remain unmarried and have no one to help me father them. I'm just gonna do what I'm supposed to do and leave the rest to God. I know the wait gets harder as you age. Let's just see what happens.

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I waited because I serve Jesus too.  It turns out that I have had a remarkable single life so far because of him.  I got to do all kinds of wonderful things that I have never ever seen any of my married friends do.  The truth is, I will continue to wait regardless.  In fact, I am already old enough to consider that it is too late for me anyway.  This means I will continue to do badass things with my life because I am not attached to a nuclear family.  If I have no nuclear family, I will continue to have a nuclear-powered life instead.  If I can't share my badass life with a partner, then I will have more money, resources, and time available to do what I want.  More for me...

 

Oh, and btw, I have the Holy Spirit anyway.  He gives me fulfillment beyond sexuality.  I highly recommend asking God to give you experiences with the Holy Spirit.  I already know that God does not hold out on me because of Him...

 

Also, I have it on good authority that the anticipation for sex is more intense than actually having it.  Sex apparantly is like air; it is only important when you aren't "gettin' any," heh.  I refuse to be tricked by my own body...

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This is a great topic, and I have thought about it as I've looked at some older, unmarried women in church who may or may not be virgins. I've spent time thinking about this very question, "What happens if I never get married? THEN WHAT? No sex? No children? No love life?" 

 

Welllll, I'm not waiting to have sex because I want to find a suitable partner. The reason why I am not having sex is because of obedience to Jesus. I am celibate primarily because Jesus wants me to be. I am NOT celibate PRIMARILY because I believe sex is sacred and should be shared with a life partner. I do want to preserve sex for a future mate, but if it weren't for Jesus, I would have had sex by now. My faith keeps me centered, otherwise I would have justified sex outside of marriage by now. I would have told myself, 'I have never even DATED another virgin. So my future husband will have a sexual past. It won't matter if I do, too."

 

WTM is worth "a life alone" to me because I am not waiting because I want to find a partner who shares my belief. I am waiting to have sex because I am not married and sex outside of marriage is against Gods desires for me. I cannot have sex until I meet the man God wants me to marry. And if I never meet him or he doesn't exist, okay. But I must present my body to God as a living sacrifice anyway, just like the Bible says: my sex drive, hormones, everything, is a sacrifice. And  having no sexual past actually kind of makes it easier to present my body as a living sacrifice. I would LOVE to experience sex one day, (FOR REAL), but if I don't, (which I hope is not my portion) I am okay because the chastity I practice is about sacrifice TO GOD. Jesus is WORTH IT. He's worth the HARD, HARD, HARD sacrifice. Watching your friends get married (I mean, back to back)? It's a HUGE TRIAL. Watching everyone start families? It's hard!!!! Seeing your friends from college and high school who have grade-school-aged kids? THAT's HARD. And it gets harder as you remain single and get older. There are a lot of sinful habits I need to break, but having sex outside of marriage does not need to be added to that list. Jesus is worth the sacrifice. Part of the reason why I do not care if I don't end up with another virgin is because I am NOT saving myself FOR MY HUSBAND's sake, primarily. I am saving sex for God's sake, rather for my sake, to obey God. And in obeying God, I am being spared from heartbreak, heartache, STDs, b.s., etc.

 

Am I prepared to die a childless virgin? Honestly, that is something I have come to terms with. I'm 26. I have a few years to go, but I know one day I would like to adopt kids, even if I remain unmarried and have no one to help me father them. I'm just gonna do what I'm supposed to do and leave the rest to God. I know the wait gets harder as you age. Let's just see what happens.

WOW!  Really beautiful Waitingforcarats. It's inspiring. Very deep. THank you for sharing

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I waited because I serve Jesus too.  It turns out that I have had a remarkable single life so far because of him.  I got to do all kinds of wonderful things that I have never ever seen any of my married friends do.  The truth is, I will continue to wait regardless.  In fact, I am already old enough to consider that it is too late for me anyway.  This means I will continue to do badass things with my life because I am not attached to a nuclear family.  If I have no nuclear family, I will continue to have a nuclear-powered life instead.  If I can't share my badass life with a partner, then I will have more money, resources, and time available to do what I want.  More for me...

When someone does something for honoring Jesus, it is never a waste. God is faithful and He knows those who belong to Him and He will reward them. I do believe that.

 

 

Also, I have it on good authority that the anticipation for sex is more intense than actually having it.  Sex apparantly is like air; it is only important when you aren't "gettin' any," heh.  I refuse to be tricked by my own body...

Totally agree on that one...

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Its great to see that a lot of you are determined and are also doing this for God!! I'm not going to lie the thought of being old and alone is scary but I do not believe God wants that for anyone! We are talking like nobody wants to marry a virgin... thats not true! Right now I really want the lord to send a beautiful very christian almost perfect (for me) wife my way but Im pretty sure if I lowered my standards I could date and find a wife in a year or two and most of you could too. I mean there are plenty of single Christians in church but who wants to marry someone you don't really really like but only kinda like? My mom told me that my dad was the most popular guy in school and she just didn't she what girls saw in him and was not even really in love. However God showed her that he had a good heart and that she COULD choose to marry him and that he had other options too. She was a virgin and my dad said he was but we aren't sure lol. But anyways I don't think anyone here needs to think that they wont eventually get married we just MIGHT have to lower our standards... (hopefully we won't have too lol) Plus if you are living for God and seeking his will in ALL you do He will bless you with the desires of your heart!

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