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Mac&Cheese

ORIGIN OF VIEWS

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Hey guys, so I wanted to ask where you obtained your view on waiting until marriage and also what happened if anything in your life that reinforced the idea of waiting.

I think this gives an idea of what helped you gain your focus and could potentially be used by a newcomer to encourage abstinence til marriage!

Ill go first.

Well, I am a reformed Christian. I say it like this because I was baptized at a young age, and didn't fully understand the aspect of being a christian. I made mistakes in my life which I regret, and I repented and began to change my mindset on life. With this said I can see the strain of Marriage on my Parents who did not wait.

My Father and Step-mother, have been together for 19 years. They have been married for 13 years. With this being said, they have arguments non-stop and always have a difficulty with even simple communication. My father was baptized before they were married, and felt as though Marriage was necessary because they were still have pre-marital sex. Now as a christian,he feels as though divorce is a direct sin to God whom he made his marital vows to.

As a witness to their lives and problems, I have chosen not to have any sexual relations before marriage so that I may have a opportunity to not only get to know the person, but to love the person, understand the person, and obtain unity in marriage before unity in the flesh.

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Well I haven't decided 100% to wait or not, but I'll say why I have decided to take sex very conservatively:

1. I think it is very romantic to sleep with only one person your entire life (especially if the man I completely belong to is my husband.)

2. The risks of STDs and AIDS

3. I think sex without love is disgusting

4. The risk of pregnancy

5. I am pretty old-fashioned and grew up in a conservative household

I am an atheist, however, so I am not doing this for religious reasons. Whether or not I WTM, I do not plan on ever having sex with unless I am in a long-term committed relationship and we truly love each other.

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Pretty much what Sophie said 1-5.

My up bringing wasn't really around people who chose to WTM, let alone wait until they genuinely loved somebody to the point of spending the rest of their life with them. It's sad, because a good majority of my Mom's side are teen parents because they tried using sex to keep a man. I've seen the consequences of sex being used for the wrong reasons and then later on I came to be a hopeless romantic- It's a combination of the two that formed my beliefs on how I feel.

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Mines fairly unique and a bit embarrassing

Growing through puberty and middle school I, as most boys do at this time, began looking at porn and nonetheless I began to feel guilty about it. So I thought I could bargain my forgiveness. I told God that if He forgave me for looking at porn I would only have sex with one woman, my wife.

Now I grew older and realized that I can't really bargain forgiveness with God, nor do I need to because of Jesus's sacrifice, but I learned other reasons to wait.

High school started and I began dating and being physical with my gfs and waiting was the furthest thing from my mind, but after a few breakups and heartbreak I realized how much of an romantic I am. If i ever gave that much of myself to a person and it didn't work out...I would be ruined!

I also saw the affects of not waiting has on my parent's relationship. My dad had a daughter out of wedlock before my parents were married. It puts a strain on a relationship, plus without sex in the picture I feel a couple can really know, learn from, and grow with each other very very deeply instead of just relying on sex for "intimacy" you know?

Then even now as I'm maturing and growing in my faith, I know that God has sex planned for the covenant of marriage. Not to keep us from fun or from having a good time, but to spare our hearts, souls, minds, and bodies. Its for our benefit and reading passages like Jeremiah 29:11 I know He doesn't hold a good thing from us. So I trust in that. Firmly.

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If i ever gave that much of myself to a person and it didn't work out...I would be ruined!

Amen!

plus without sex in the picture I feel a couple can really know, learn from, and grow with each other very very deeply instead of just relying on sex for "intimacy" you know?

Amen again! This is something I think many people, myself included, often overlook as far as reasons for waiting. There's the spirtual and religious reasons, the emotional reasons, the three initials (aka STD) and pregnancy, and on down the line but it's easy to forget the fact that you get to know someone so much better as a waiter or waiters and you don't have sex clouding your judgement, etc.

Not to jump on my soapbox lol but I really do think that has so much to do with the divorce rate being what it is today. People get into relationships, start having sex, then eventually figure "well if we're doing that why not just move in together", then eventually they decide to get married because it's seen as the next logical step....even though the couple may not be completely right for each other but their judgement was clouded and the marriage ends up in ruins.

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High school started and I began dating and being physical with my gfs and waiting was the furthest thing from my mind, but after a few breakups and heartbreak I realized how much of an romantic I am. If i ever gave that much of myself to a person and it didn't work out...I would be ruined!

I also saw the affects of not waiting has on my parent's relationship. My dad had a daughter out of wedlock before my parents were married. It puts a strain on a relationship, plus without sex in the picture I feel a couple can really know, learn from, and grow with each other very very deeply instead of just relying on sex for "intimacy" you know?

Then even now as I'm maturing and growing in my faith, I know that God has sex planned for the covenant of marriage. Not to keep us from fun or from having a good time, but to spare our hearts, souls, minds, and bodies. Its for our benefit and reading passages like Jeremiah 29:11 I know He doesn't hold a good thing from us. So I trust in that. Firmly.

I agree 100% with all points you made here. I also LOVE Jeremiah 29:11!!! For me personally, WTM is a personal decision, but I also trust that God has plans for me, and they are good, so I need to trust him. I think as waiters we have a strength in being able to deny instant gratification which our culture is so about now a days....

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Not to jump on my soapbox lol but I really do think that has so much to do with the divorce rate being what it is today. People get into relationships, start having sex, then eventually figure "well if we're doing that why not just move in together", then eventually they decide to get married because it's seen as the next logical step....even though the couple may not be completely right for each other but their judgement was clouded and the marriage ends up in ruins.

Nah dude, hop on that soapbox, because look what Sally says

I agree 100% with all points you made here. I also LOVE Jeremiah 29:11!!! For me personally, WTM is a personal decision, but I also trust that God has plans for me, and they are good, so I need to trust him. I think as waiters we have a strength in being able to deny instant gratification which our culture is so about now a days....

I'm so glad you touched on instant gratification because that's a BIG issue. It goes along with what DD said. Couples rush into a relationship in every way, physically, emotionally, mentally, and did I say physically? They never learn the worth and how really...precious it is to take your time and know someone for who they truly are. I mean why should people wait? We sure as heck aren't used to it. Fast food, Netflix, Internet, smartphones, instant gratification has become somewhat of a disease to our society, but alas, I hop off my soapbox lol :lol:

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instant gratification has become somewhat of a disease to our society

Couldn't agree more!!

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