K.G.

Do you belive in love at first sight?

20 posts in this topic

No. I think it's mostly a load of BS.

 

But I do believe in "I think you're cute" at first sight, and crush after first friendly conversation.  :)

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Heh.  As a physicist, I need real data to declare my take on these kinds of things.  All I know is: I haven't ever experienced love at first sight so far in life.  That doesn't mean it can't happen.  My reasoning on this is, at best, inductive unless it actually happens someday.  Then I will be able to deductively say it is so...

 

I do know attraction in my life works incredibly quickly.  I am either attracted to someone or not, and I know to what degree.  Conversely, women have been able to tell whether or not they are attracted to me, and to what degree.  Whether this ever extends to love is uncertain.  I am also uncertain as to whether love of this kind is mutual.  I suspect it isn't in general since so many songs dwell on this very issue of one loving another who doesn't love them back...

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On a movie I saw recently, quoting, although I don't know how is it relevant, this thread reminds me of this: : "love at first sight, kill at first betrayal."

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Well I have three theories on why love at first sight happens, two of them involves the paranormal:

 

One is lust where the guy/girl wants the person because the person is attractive. 

 

The second theory involves reincarnation. It's possible that two lovers lived before and knew each other in their previous lives and that when they meet they are basically reuniting with one another. There are stories of how some couples when they experience love at first sight, they have the feeling that they knew each other 

before.

 

My third theory involves possible psychic powers. I believe some people may have some form of ability to sense the future and when they meet their future girl/boy they are able to see or sense that they are going to have a happy relationship with their future love. Some couples upon meeting their future love have the feeling that they will marry him or her.

 

As a cynical idealist, while I agree that love at first sight happens, it only happens to a few people.

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Depends on what you mean by love. If you mean physical attractiveness then of course it happens. Genesis 29-31 is a great lesson on this. Jacob was captivated by Rebecca to the point of serving years of hard labor for her hand in marriage. Unfortunately, she was worldly like most women who seem to fall into the lust at first sight category. Jacob's lust for the physically attractive woman caused him to mistreat his loving life who had his children.

 

It's an excellent morality story with a minor plot piece involving confusing physical lusts for love.

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I'm not going to speak for everyone, because I'm sure there are people who really can and do fall in love at first sight, but for me and people like me, it is not possible. Immediate attraction does happen, but love is something that must take root and grow over time. I have met many young women to whom I took an immediate liking or attraction, only to have my feelings decline or become stagnant after I actually get to know them. Likewise, I have met some women to whom I had little initial attraction, if any, but after becoming more acquainted, find them increasingly attractive and in rare cases exceedingly so. The things that cause love to begin in my heart are based on the qualities, beliefs, morals -- and of course, that unknown factor -- that make her her. In a true "first sight" scenario, these things are unknown to my heart, and so real love cannot form. Only attraction, either toward her beauty or the first impression of her personality, happens immediately for me.

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I don't believe in it for the same reasons that Amarillo and Zeke said. 

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Yes it does exist.  Love at first sight is what many mothers and fathers experience when their children are born.

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I personally haven't experienced love at first sight, I think there can be infatuation at first sight, but not love.  I think love is when you appreciate the other person for all they are; their personality, their flaws, their values, in addition to their appearance.  Maybe if you had been talking to someone for a long time, then met up with them after a while, you could experience love at first sight but otherwise I think it would just be a dopamine release telling you that you like their appearance.

 

Although, I don't want to discount others experiences, maybe it can be possible, depending on the person and their past. I'm basing my example on my personal experience of the first date with my ex vs when I had fallen in love, at around the four month mark.  The two instances felt dirastically different.  On the first date I saw potential and was happy to see him at the four month mark it was something I can't even explain.

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Most girls will say no, most guys will say yes.

 

You just watch...

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Yes ,but that might be the hopeless romantic in me talking.

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Most girls will say no, most guys will say yes.

 

You just watch...

I'm thoroughly intrigued by your predicate observation, Paul, taking into account the previous responses to this post, as well as the general consensus of many of my own friends and acquaintances, which typically seems to indicate a 'no', without any definitive difference between either gender's opinion.

To tell of my own experience, one of my colleagues is compassionate, mature (being a number of years older than me, that's always nice), highly intelligent, has a wonderfully dry sense of humour, and the conversation continuously flows between us. Over the months, we've become very close friends.

However, one day this summer, I saw him in a whole new light....

...For the very first time, I was seeing him in short sleeves (dem ARMS, tho).

For whatever reason, my heart skipped a beat, and its nearly-audible thumping rapidly increased in pace. I could feel my cheeks getting warmer and warmer, the longer I looked at him.

...Was this a likely sign that I was in love with him? Heck, no!

...Was this a likely sign that my paleomammalian brain reeeaaallllly wanted a piece o' dat? Probably.

Personally, I believe in lust at first sight, as well as chemistry. The latter of these seems to be a meeting of minds, although oftentimes taciturn. For me - and I can only assume the other people I have shared this with - it wasn't due to looking at each other, and seeing a physical attraction; but, rather, experiencing an intrinsically empathic understanding of each other.

As a romantic (albeit a cynical one), I rather enjoy entertaining the concept that everyone has a 'twin flame'. Supposedly, meeting each other for the first time is like seeing an old friend (and lover) whom you've known for many lifetimes. Apparently, you both 'just know' that you're 'meant to be'.

I happen to like the idea that the man I marry will be my best friend. Some friendships form more quickly, and others grow over time. Surely the friendships in which you've invested more time and effort will be particularly meaningful...? :)

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4702609_orig.jpg

:wub:

 

 

Otherwise: No.

However, I have heard stories of (now middle-aged) men who pretty much decided a certain lady was "it" from first sight and pursued despite knowing little to nothing about them. I know of one guy who proposed within 24 hours of their first date (though they knew of eachother through church) still (seemingly) happily married with four kids. Boggles the mind. Though I think back in those days rapid selection might have been easier due to more gender role expectancies etc nowadays its all up in the air and you'd be well advised not to assume anything!

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You might be ATTRACTED to someone at first sight, but certainly not in love with them. You still have to learn about the other person, and that's a process that can take quite some time. It certainly isn't something that you can figure out just by a first encounter.

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I agree with the majority here. I've definitely experienced "hmm, I like that, I definitely want to get to know him more" at first sight, but never love. To me, love is something that grows over time, and while it can be founded on an immediate attraction, it isn't the same thing.

 

It's like friends. There can be an immediate connection, but it takes months and even years for you to be fully comfortable around each other, to trust each other, and to know each other inside and out. You don't meet someone and decide at once that you're best friends. To me, the same goes for love.

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Yes it does exist.  Love at first sight is what many mothers and fathers experience when their children are born.

 

That's compassion.  It has been passed down long before mammals evolved because parents that carried this trait didn't eat their own young.  The young with compassionate parents had genes that coded for this oxytocin release causing a compassionate bond that was more survivable than carrying genes from parents that would simply eat them before they had a chance to mature into adulthood and reproduce as young-hungry parents.

 

"Love at first sight" is a much different phenomenon that doesn't involve mates eating each other.  It is for different reasons, even if the same chemical may or may not be used to generate compassion.  With sexual desire involved, it gets even more complicated.  Also, sexual desire evolved earlier than parental compassion for young...

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That's compassion. It has been passed down long before mammals evolved because parents that carried this trait didn't eat their own young. The young with compassionate parents had genes that coded for this oxytocin release causing a compassionate bond that was more survivable than carrying genes from parents that would simply eat them before they had a chance to mature into adulthood and reproduce as young-hungry parents.

"Love at first sight" is a much different phenomenon that doesn't involve mates eating each other. It is for different reasons, even if the same chemical may or may not be used to generate compassion. With sexual desire involved, it gets even more complicated. Also, sexual desire evolved earlier than parental compassion for young...

Compassion is part of love. There are many different kinds of love. I'm simply thinking outside the box with this thread.

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... Or shall I walk by again haha

 

Seriously though no it's more like lust at first sight, but just because she pretty on the outside doesn't mean she isn't just, plain old, pretty annoying.

 

Love, to me at least, is a deep, meaningful, unconditional caring for her that you build up over time through getting to know her, and what makes her tick, all her little quirks that make her unique. Love is a two way street it is about two people that care about each other so much that they will stand side by side, there to support and help each other, no matter what life throws their way they'll come out the other side stronger knowing that they have someone that has their back and that they can trust, not just to stand up for them, to keep a secret, to care care for them when they are ill and all the other little things, but also with their life. That is what real love is. 

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