Jegsy Scarr

Articles: Respect in marriage

6 posts in this topic

Hey, guys!

 

Found these articles on respect in marriage, wanted to see what people think of them. Personally, I think the author makes a lot of good points. He wrote two versions, one for wives and one for husbands.

 

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/davewillis/7-ways-a-husbands-needs-respect-from-his-wife/

 

A husband feels respected by his wife when…
 
1. She is content to live within the family’s financial means.
A husband has a deep desire to be a provider. In our modern society, the man is not usually the sole breadwinner, but he still wants to feel that his work is meeting the needs and desires of his wife. When a wife will life within the family’s financial means, she’s communicating respect to her husband by validating his hard work and his need to be a provider. She’s also removing financial stress from the marriage. (Husbands obviously need to live within the financial means of the family as well).
 
2. She prioritizes what happens in the bedroom.
When a man feels starved sexually, he will often feel both the physical frustration of unfilled desire and the emotional frustration of feeling undesirable to his wife. When the wife will initiate intimacy and also be receptive to his advances, he will feel more respected and fulfilled and he’ll also be more capable of fulfilling his wife’s needs.
 
3. She builds him up with her words (both in public and in private).
A wife’s words have the power to shape her husband. A wife shows respect to her husband both by how she speaks to him and by how she speaks about him. In both public and private, a wife’s words can build up or tear down her husband. She’s affirming, not sarcastic. She’s warm, not cold. She’s his biggest encourager, not his biggest critic.
 
4. She laughs with him (not at him).
When there isn’t much laughter in the marriage, that’s usually a warning sign of deeper issues. Find opportunities to laugh together. Your husband desperately wants you to be happy. Most husbands can’t be happy unless they believe they’re making their wives happy. Also, laugh at his jokes. This one might seem silly, but you’d be amazed how important it is for most men to know his wife believes he has a great sense of humor.
 
5. She trusts his judgment.
I’m certainly not saying a wife should blindly agree to everything that husband wants. A marriage requires a lot of conversation, mutual submission, and sometimes even debate. What I am saying is that a man feels strongest when his wife affirms his strength. A man feels wisest when his wife affirms his wisdom. A man feels most respected when his wife respects his decisions.
 
6. She doesn’t mother him.
There’s a motherly instinct in most women and that instinct can sometimes be misdirected towards mothering a husband. When a wife attempts to change, discipline or correct a husband from the posture of a mother instead of a partner, the husband will feel emasculated and it will often cause a cycle of frustration for both the husband and the wife.
 
7. She has his back.
Above all, a husband needs to know his wife has his back. In all times, in all situations, let him know you love and respect him. Your love, your words, your actions and your respect have the power to bring out the best in him.

 

 

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/davewillis/7-ways-a-wife-needs-respect-from-her-husband/

 

7 ways a wife needs respect from her husband (in no particular order):
 
1. He has eyes only for her.
A man shows respect for his wife by never making her feel compared to an airbrushed supermodel or a random woman passing by. Men make their wives feel safe, adored and respected when their eyes are “monogamous.”
 
2. He supports her dreams.
A man shows respect for his wife when her dreams become his priority. In little things in big things, men should encourage and support their wives to achieve their hopes and dreams.
 
3. He works hard to provide for the family.
When a man works hard, it communicates respect to his wife. A lazy man is incapable of communicating true respect to his wife (or anyone else).
 
4. He helps around the home.
Each household is different, but in the homes where the wife manages the domestic duties, the husband should still be willing to jump in and help out. Doing the dishes or folding laundry is a simple way to show respect to your wife.
 
5. He engages in conversation.
I believe the typical wife’s need for communication is every bit as strong as the typical husband’s need for sex. A husband shows respect to his wife when he turns off his phone, turns of the TV and engages in meaningful conversation and he ALWAYS tells her the truth. Dishonesty is the ultimate form of disrespect.
 
6. He makes time with his wife a priority.
A man shows respect for his wife when he makes her a consistent priority on his calendar. A husband should give his best energies to his wife; not his leftovers after he has given his best to hobbies, career or other pursuits.
 
7. He continuously pursues her.
Most guys are great at pursuing during the dating phase of the relationship, but we get lazy, inconsistent and unromantic in marriage. We show our love and respect to our wives when we continuously give them the best of ourselves and keep growing better with every season of life together.

 

 

Thoughts?

 

xxx

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I love what's on the lists and I think they are spot on. My thoughts on a select few:

 

 

1. He has eyes only for her.

A man shows respect for his wife by never making her feel compared to an airbrushed supermodel or a random woman passing by. Men make their wives feel safe, adored and respected when their eyes are “monogamous.”

 

All women desire to feel beautiful. Body image is a big struggle for women when society perpetuates a perverted standard of beauty. We should never say or do anything that would make our wives feel insecure about her beauty or that she is has competition from other women for our attention. If I get married, I will make sure my wife will never doubt that I think she is the most beautiful and sexiest woman in the world. :) I want her to know she's the only woman I desire.

 

 

5. He engages in conversation.

I believe the typical wife’s need for communication is every bit as strong as the typical husband’s need for sex. A husband shows respect to his wife when he turns off his phone, turns of the TV and engages in meaningful conversation and he ALWAYS tells her the truth. Dishonesty is the ultimate form of disrespect.

 

This is something that I would equally value as well. I for one would hate knowing my wife and I were not on the same page on something or that her emotional needs were not being met. I think time is the most valuable currency, more than money or anything else. I want to make sure no other distraction will get in the way of giving my time to my wife.

 

7. He continuously pursues her.
Most guys are great at pursuing during the dating phase of the relationship, but we get lazy, inconsistent and unromantic in marriage. We show our love and respect to our wives when we continuously give them the best of ourselves and keep growing better with every season of life together.

 

There are times when guys stop pursuing their girls even before marriage. So they aren't even married and already their relationship is stuck in a rut. Most women want to be pursued and that doesn't stop at marriage. It's a lifelong thing. When we no longer put in the effort, the marriage will go downhill.

 

 

1. She is content to live within the family’s financial means.

A husband has a deep desire to be a provider. In our modern society, the man is not usually the sole breadwinner, but he still wants to feel that his work is meeting the needs and desires of his wife. When a wife will life within the family’s financial means, she’s communicating respect to her husband by validating his hard work and his need to be a provider. She’s also removing financial stress from the marriage. (Husbands obviously need to live within the financial means of the family as well).

 

This is a sensitive one for me, because I'd want nothing more than to provide for a family to live comfortably and afford nice things for them. But sometimes we aren't able to provide as comfortably as we'd like to. That can be a huge burden for us. But a wife who appreciates the effort and is willing to live within the family's means speaks volumes to her. This is one of the biggest ways to tell whether she truly loves him or not.

 

 

2. She prioritizes what happens in the bedroom.

When a man feels starved sexually, he will often feel both the physical frustration of unfilled desire and the emotional frustration of feeling undesirable to his wife. When the wife will initiate intimacy and also be receptive to his advances, he will feel more respected and fulfilled and he’ll also be more capable of fulfilling his wife’s needs.

 

Pretty self explanatory. Of course women enjoy sex and have sexual needs too, but usually this is especially important for guys. Just because society is hypersexualized and worshiped doesn't mean it should be overlooked in a healthy marriage. Personally, sex is something that I'm going to need a lot of in a marriage and I hope she'll be sensitive to that. In the same way, I will try to be sensitive to her when she isn't feeling up to it because she is sick or going through a difficult time. That being said, a loving husband would make sure his wife's needs is met in bed first before his own.

 

 

3. She builds him up with her words (both in public and in private).

A wife’s words have the power to shape her husband. A wife shows respect to her husband both by how she speaks to him and by how she speaks about him. In both public and private, a wife’s words can build up or tear down her husband. She’s affirming, not sarcastic. She’s warm, not cold. She’s his biggest encourager, not his biggest critic.

 

Men are more fragile than we let on and many women don't know how much influence she has over their husbands through her words. A man will take the words of his wife more seriously than any other person in his life. I hate how so many women these days completely trash their husbands when they are with their girl friends and this is seen as normal. It is not normal, it is dishonoring, disrespectful and they are destroying their men's sense of being. Sure, he has his flaws, but if he is a loving husband yet his wife still puts him down, that says more about her character than his. A marriage is supposed to be about honoring each other both in person and around others. Don't be the kind of wife he dreads coming home to, but rather the kind of wife that he can't wait to spend time with after a hard day's work.

 

 

7. She has his back.

Above all, a husband needs to know his wife has his back. In all times, in all situations, let him know you love and respect him. Your love, your words, your actions and your respect have the power to bring out the best in him.

 

I think this one stands out to me the most because the foundation of a marriage rests on how seriously a person take their wedding vows. I want a wife who is utterly devoted and will be there in good times and bad, just as I will do the same for her.

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Nice articles about respect in marriage. I really love ways #  1,6, and 7  as they are important for a lasting relationship!

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I love what's on the lists and I think they are spot on. My thoughts on a select few:

 

 

All women desire to feel beautiful. Body image is a big struggle for women when society perpetuates a perverted standard of beauty. We should never say or do anything that would make our wives feel insecure about her beauty or that she is has competition from other women for our attention. If I get married, I will make sure my wife will never doubt that I think she is the most beautiful and sexiest woman in the world. :) I want her to know she's the only woman I desire.

 

 

This is something that I would equally value as well. I for one would hate knowing my wife and I were not on the same page on something or that her emotional needs were not being met. I think time is the most valuable currency, more than money or anything else. I want to make sure no other distraction will get in the way of giving my time to my wife.

 

 

 

There are times when guys stop pursuing their girls even before marriage. So they aren't even married and already their relationship is stuck in a rut. Most women want to be pursued and that doesn't stop at marriage. It's a lifelong thing. When we no longer put in the effort, the marriage will go downhill.

 

 

This is a sensitive one for me, because I'd want nothing more than to provide for a family to live comfortably and afford nice things for them. But sometimes we aren't able to provide as comfortably as we'd like to. That can be a huge burden for us. But a wife who appreciates the effort and is willing to live within the family's means speaks volumes to her. This is one of the biggest ways to tell whether she truly loves him or not.

 

 

Pretty self explanatory. Of course women enjoy sex and have sexual needs too, but usually this is especially important for guys. Just because society is hypersexualized and worshiped doesn't mean it should be overlooked in a healthy marriage. Personally, sex is something that I'm going to need a lot of in a marriage and I hope she'll be sensitive to that. In the same way, I will try to be sensitive to her when she isn't feeling up to it because she is sick or going through a difficult time. That being said, a loving husband would make sure his wife's needs is met in bed first before his own.

 

 

Men are more fragile than we let on and many women don't know how much influence she has over their husbands through her words. A man will take the words of his wife more seriously than any other person in his life. I hate how so many women these days completely trash their husbands when they are with their girl friends and this is seen as normal. It is not normal, it is dishonoring, disrespectful and they are destroying their men's sense of being. Sure, he has his flaws, but if he is a loving husband yet his wife still puts him down, that says more about her character than his. A marriage is supposed to be about honoring each other both in person and around others. Don't be the kind of wife he dreads coming home to, but rather the kind of wife that he can't wait to spend time with after a hard day's work.

 

 

I think this one stands out to me the most because the foundation of a marriage rests on how seriously a person take their wedding vows. I want a wife who is utterly devoted and will be there in good times and bad, just as I will do the same for her.

 

Very well said Invincible !! You definitively make some extra good points here ! I do appreciate that a man can think this way, especially when you say : "There are times when guys stop pursuing their girls even before marriage. So they aren't even married and already their relationship is stuck in a rut. Most women want to be pursued and that doesn't stop at marriage. It's a lifelong thing. When we no longer put in the effort, the marriage will go downhill."

Soooooo true !!

 

Thank you very much Jegsy Scarr for sharing this meaningful article :)

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