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Let's talk about Jesus and waiting.

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According to organized religion, not waiting to have sex until marriage is a SIN and getting divorced is a SIN; with very, very few exceptions.

Jesus, as far as our biblical records, hasn't addressed specifically the topic of waiting although he does mention loyalty to a spouse and not divorcing over frivolous reasons. But the bible doesn't even mention allowing divorce for abusive marriages, so people interpret the omission how they will. What we do know is that abusing a person isn't loving them.

 

What the bible talks about and with frequency is love; love God, love thy neighbor, the fruits of the spirit, showing compassion to others, helping widows, and being a father to the fatherless.

I know most people want to marry a virgin and that's completely acceptable.
And in another sense, wouldn't marrying a single parent (child may be missing a father or mother) be showing charity, compassion, and love to another? Thus, being a noble and Christian thing to do?

Or, another scenario, to marry a nonvirgin would be to look at them through Jesus' eyes, accepting them as they are, forgiving them, and loving them despite.

I understand the other side as well in that a person's past behaviors could be a prediction for their future behaviors and would be unwise to marry someone like that.

To conclude, are we really marrying virgins for entirely religious reasons..

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I wouldn't say we're waiting till marriage for religious reasons only. It seems a reasonable and smart choice to wait till marriage for anyone who seeks a lasting relationship. :)

 

By the way, doesn't the bible say divorce is a not sin? In fact I think it says its better to live apart than together in chaos. However, you can't go marrying someone else, since you would still be one with the first person, and you can't be one with another simultaneously. Till death parts them ;)

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By the way, doesn't the bible say divorce is a not sin? In fact I think it says its better to live apart than together in chaos.

Oh, ya?  I have not read of this yet. I know the bible does say that life isn't supposed to be of empty chaos in Isaiah. 

 

 

 

 

However, you can't go marrying someone else, since you would still be one with the first person, and you can't be one with another simultaneously. Till death parts them ;)

 

I believe that God let's some people out.  Some people are spiritually dead.  And also, some marriages are not made in holy matrimony.

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I know most people want to marry a virgin and that's completely acceptable.

And in another sense, wouldn't marrying a single parent (child may be missing a father or mother) be showing charity, compassion, and love to another? Thus, being a noble and Christian thing to do?

 

 

Do you also fall into this category? Do you want to marry a virgin? Has this ever been a deal-breaker for you?

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To conclude, are we really marrying virgins for entirely religious reasons..

 

Actually the Bible, christian teaching, examples of holy men and women and simple human experience shows that importance of it is not just a mere delusion. 

I don't wish to marry a virgin for religious reasons, but because it feels right on many levels. And I believe it feels right cause that is how it should work if there is no sin. Two people should belong to each other only and we can find confirmation and explanation why in the Bible. So it's not like a warrant, it's how we were intended. 

 

Of course I believe that with Jesus' grace it is possible to overcome every obstacle.

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Good topic! A few thoughts:

1) As Christians we are called to love everyone, showing grace, compassion, and the fruits of the Spirit. Showing love and choosing someone as a lifelong marriage partner are two completely different ballgames. Personally, I think it's wise to be discerning when it comes to looking for a spouse.

2) A person's past isn't a forgiveness issue when considering someone for marriage. They didn't sin against you, they sinned against God, so there isn't a burden of forgiveness of your end. You make the choice as to whether you want to accept the person and move forward in the relationship. If you don't feel like you'd be comfortable with someone that has a sexual history, that's fair. If sexual history doesn't bother you, that's fine too. There's no 'right' preference, everyone has their own threshold for what they can and can't handle.

3) Biblically, divorce is only stated as 'okay' in the case of adultery. Once you commit to a spouse, the relationship is supposed to be 'til death do us part'.

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According to organized religion, not waiting to have sex until marriage is a SIN and getting divorced is a SIN; with very, very few exceptions.

Jesus, as far as our biblical records, hasn't addressed specifically the topic of waiting although he does mention loyalty to a spouse and not divorcing over frivolous reasons. But the bible doesn't even mention allowing divorce for abusive marriages, so people interpret the omission how they will. What we do know is that abusing a person isn't loving them.

 

To break religious garbage, we must consult with Jesus.  Jesus was quite clear about what adultery was and how it BREAKS marriage when He Gave a sermon on the mount.  That's what adultery is all about, BREAKING marriage.  Waiting is implied.  I suspect the rest of the paragraph attempts to cite other nonrelated examples of how omission is grounds for open interpretation.  Here is a counterexample: beastiality is never mentioned by Jesus as being forbidden.  The correct interpretation of Jesus' Teachings imho is to know what the proper meanings are of what good is, and how they are perverted by evil.  Adultery is the violation of the sanctity of marriage.  I am quite sure beastiality does not need to be covered as adultery just to make sure a U.S.-trained lawyer can't weasel his way out of an undesireable verdict in the courtroom.  Legalism like this seemed to infuriate Jesus to no end when He had to deal with this sort of thing in front of the teachers of the law.

 

Understanding Jesus' approach to enlightening mankind will help here.  Jesus never made any adjustments to claiming what His expectations of mankind were.  He wanted to show us what Good was no matter how unattainable it was or seemed to be.  It wasn't that we couldn't do it, it was that we WOULDN'T do it right.  No matter how many people do the wrong thing, Jesus decided not to apologize for doing the RIGHT THING.  He decided the best course of action was to just show us the real deal, and when the counterfeit came along, we would spot it immediately.  No examples of all the possible ways to pervert good would ever be required under such an approach.  Its like showing someone how to spot a counterfeit $100 by having him stare at the real $100 bill non-stop and exclusively.  That way, when the counterfeits surfaced, they would not match.  Why study all the wrong examples?  There are too many.  There is a simple, light burden to follow with Jesus, and overcomplicating it with evil is the problem, not how simple the good is.

 

What the bible talks about and with frequency is love; love God, love thy neighbor, the fruits of the spirit, showing compassion to others, helping widows, and being a father to the fatherless.

 

If this is how one wants to be loved, then I offer the following method to get it.  Whenever we want to be loved a certain way, we must give it first to others.  Since I suspect that this is a personal desire directed at how a man should love a lady, I offer the following specific solution about how to receive the same thing.  How about loving your own neighbor?  How about growing you own fruit?  How about showing compassion to others too?  Now, here's the hard part where it becomes personal.  How about helping a WIDOWER.  How about becoming a MOTHER to the MOTHERLESS?

 

Forgive me, I will be bold and draw another step.  If a woman waits for marriage after a failed serious sexual relationship, why not love a single father that waits for the same in a single mother?  I often wonder in these kinds of inquiries whether people have considered that the people they can love the most are those who understand what its like to yearn for that love because they know what it feels like to yearn for it in the same situation.

 

 

And in another sense, wouldn't marrying a single parent (child may be missing a father or mother) be showing charity, compassion, and love to another? Thus, being a noble and Christian thing to do?

 

Surely this would be a great gesture!  If a lady found a single father that aches for a wife he is now waiting for, it would show all these great virtues.  I am sure no one would deny that this was a Christian thing to do.  There are lots of waiting single fathers who need this kind of love.  Many of them have a lot to deal with too: child support payments, alimony, baggage, they are locked in their neighborhoods (because of visitation), and many of them are upset at the Draconian laws that prevent them from seeing their kids within reasonable timeframes.  Surely, this would show much compassion to them if only a woman would give them a chance...

 

 

Or, another scenario, to marry a nonvirgin would be to look at them through Jesus' eyes, accepting them as they are, forgiving them, and loving them despite.

 

A lady can do all these things for a nonvirgin man who now patiently waits for his wife as a new-celibate.  Looking at people through Jesus' Eyes is one of the most empathetic gestures a human being can muster...

 

 

I understand the other side as well in that a person's past behaviors could be a prediction for their future behaviors and would be unwise to marry someone like that.

 

Since the post has already made clear that forgiveness is essential in building relationships like these, I wouldn't worry about it too much.  The key is: love is a two-way street.  If you want love from someone, give them love first.  Then you will see if the investment will return interest.  If it results in a INTERESTed man (pardon the pun, heh), then it is a good indication that forgiveness has paid off.  Love somone the way you want to be loved; that's how you truly give someone a chance to give you a chance.

 

 

To conclude, are we really marrying virgins for entirely religious reasons..

 

This is the most interesting question (even though I don't see a question mark) of all.  I highly suspect this question wasn't for all of us on the site.  I bet it was a probe to see how compassion plays a role in giving someone a chance.

 

However, I will answer it personally.  I will do so, because the post already goes out on a limb, and I want to be fair.  Personally, I hope my posts have shown by now that I despise religion.  I just love Jesus.

 

I am personally not looking for a virgin, per se, but someone who needs the love that I can give better than any other man my would-be wife will ever meet.  I suspect that if such a woman were a virgin, I would become her lover because I, out of so few men, know the hassle of "putting life on hold" just to do one thing right for Jesus.  I want to reward her with my purity because I think a virgin deserves to know that it SHOULD be rewarded.  A teary-eyed "I can't believe you waited too," will be a nice part of a very memorable conversation.  If not, no problem, I just hope that I can use my purity someday to reward a wife for doing something right for Jesus in some other way if it comes to that.

 

It is a very exciting adventure of mine to ponder and experience getting closer to what kind of woman I can love better than any other man.  At the very least, waiting certainly will help me focus on just one woman who can feel like she has me all to herself with no baggage.  I try to do everything I can in the meantime to prepare myself to be a badass that will make a God-Fearing woman lucky enough to make all of her friends jealous.  God, I want to make a woman feel like that...

 

The bottom line is: I will use my purity to love a woman with.  I am not using it for as a bargaining chip, or an obligatory response from women in some way.  I am pure because I know that its a great way to love just one woman like no other woman can be.

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I know most people want to marry a virgin and that's completely acceptable.

And in another sense, wouldn't marrying a single parent (child may be missing a father or mother) be showing charity, compassion, and love to another? Thus, being a noble and Christian thing to do?

Or, another scenario, to marry a nonvirgin would be to look at them through Jesus' eyes, accepting them as they are, forgiving them, and loving them despite.

 

I think in scenario 1 you would be showing some of the traits of a Christian, but at the same time not wanting to be with a single parent likely isn't viewed by most as being "un-Christian." While Christians are supposed to show those traits, they aren't supposed to enter into a marriage they would be unhappy in for the sake of those traits.

 

Scenario 2 is an odd one to me, though I can see where it comes from. Christians are supposed to forgive and accept others, but that doesn't necessarily have anything to do with choosing who you want to marry. It's like saying marrying someone you don't have anything in common with would be like seeing them through Jesus' eyes, since he would accept them even if he didn't have anything in common with them. You can accept someone as a person without wanting to marry them. I suppose this ties into why you want to marry a virgin. If you want to marry a virgin because you think they commited a sin you cannot forgive, then you would likely be acting "un-Christian" because you are refusing forgiveness even though you have also sinned before. But, if you want to only marry a virgin because virginity is a trait you strongly value in a spouse, then that really doesn't have anything to do with Christianity. So, it depends.

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