'tis the Bearded One

Moving for a Spouse

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How far would you move if it meant marrying the love of your life? Leaving family and friends behind...Would you move to another country or another continent?

 

Personally, I'm not sure how I'd take it. I like very much the country I am living in and I imagine it would be the same for most others living in a 1st world country. I could manage on a non-permanent basis for a while but I doubt it if its on a permanent basis (not that it is ever absolutely fixed). When my parents emigrated from Germany we left our relatives far behind and moving around since then has made forming and maintaining friendships hard. My closest relative (apart from immediate family) is on the other side of the continent over 3,500km away as the crow flies. The last time I've seen any relatives was the very beginning of 2010. So while I've mostly grown up devoid of relatives, it does lend to a certain kind of loneliness. I wouldn't want to imperil the few closer relationships I have developed with relatives and friends. But then again, if it meant getting married....

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Ooh! Good question! 

 

Now, I grew up all up and down the East Coast of the USA, so I don't have a place that, strictly speaking, is my "home." I'm inclined to list New York just because it was the first place I lived and it is closest to my heart, but even in knowing that I can recognize that it isn't truly my home. Not right now, anyways. And besides that, my immediate family currently is spread out all over the country, so no matter where I end up living, I won't be near more than one or two of them. Because of that, I've always really really wanted to marry someone who is very close with his family, someone who ideally lives close to his family; I simply want to see my kids running around and playing with their cousins, and I'm afraid my side of the family would make that a rare sight. I'm holding out hope that I'll end up near in-laws, because I've pretty much given up hope that I'll be anywhere near my immediate family (except for visits and holidays, of course). 

 

Long backstory aside, to answer your question: I have no qualms at all about moving to another state, another country, or another continent in order to be with the love of my life -- whether or not that means being near his family. Assuming it's financially doable (and assuming that should the native language of the new country be something I do not speak, I have the ability to take time to learn the language before trying to find employment), I wouldn't have even the slightest hesitation. 

 

I guess I'm the opposite of you, then. I totally understand what you mean about the loneliness factor of being isolated from family -- I feel that all the time! -- but to me, friendships aren't as huge of a factor in where I decide to live. I love my friends, but I'm already thousands of miles from most of them anyways, and I feel like with today's technology, it's easy enough to keep in touch and remain friends even over the distance. ...Which, come to think of it, is kind of an interesting take, considering I don't find it easy to keep in touch with family. Huh.

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There was a time I would have said 'any time, anywhere'. The idea of starting over was wonderful, especially if with the love of my life. Now, though, I have moved, but I've also started helping raise my nephews, I am one of their primary care givers, and we want to raise them here. I consider how my decisions affect them, now. So, no, I couldn't at this point in my life, unless there was a major reason and the others in my family were involved. My life is kind of complicated. I'm not planning on any miracles...nor am I sure I want one. Though, I wouldnt mind if (if it does happen) moving with him when the kids are grown, or when retirement started. I'd love to live in London (or similar) or someplace much different than here.

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Anywhere at all!

 

Get me off this planet! ;D

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My best friend met his current wife whos actually from NZ while they both was on a third continent for vacation, fallen in love then got married and moved together and settled in a 4th continent where they are living in peace with their daughter, so the place doesn't matter as long as we are with those we care for.

Personally as i've experienced living abroad far from my family and friends for years, i know how its looks like but as life is a trip in time and place i can say that i can live with it and i wont mind moving to the end of this world if my happiness is beside the one i love, after all thanks God for the earoplanes, i can be home within hours anytime  ;)

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Nope, I will not move for my future husband unless it's in the Tri-State area. My last ex wanted to get married next summer and then have me move from PA to Miami. He had homes in several places, including a beautiful one here in PA, and one in Miami, and I refused because he wanted a relationship on his terms. I am not leaving my family, friends, job, and church behind to start all over elsewhere. He had multiple homes; why couldn't he just reside primarily in PA to be with me?There has to be some element of compromise. I did not want to move to Miami at this point in my life. Maybe 5 years from now...but not now.  That's why we are not together now. It was ALL ABOUT HIM.   :(​ 

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I would love to marry someone from a different country. I don't know if I would move but I'm open to the idea

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Moving to another country is pretty extreme; I wouldn't want to do that unless there was a really pressing reason for doing do (an unbelievable career opportunity, the American government is collapsing, etc). I'd be willing to move pretty much anywhere in the US, though. But I would prefer there to be a reason (even just getting into a really good grad school), rather than just packing up my whole life because my spouse felt like moving!

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