vammm

Forever Alone?

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This is the list of requirements i want from my girl

 

1. Since i'm a waiter, i want her to be as well.

 

2. She must be good, honest, conscientious, fair, respectful, modest and sincere just as much as i am.

 

3. Since i'm working out and i have some salient body, i want the same as well. She must be good looking and attractive. Also i m obsessed with breasts, so they shouldn't have any fault.

 

4. Since i'm a thinking guy and i use my own judgement, i want same from my partner. For example in my country people do circumcision. I discovered myself it sucks bad, unnecessary and stupid, then searched for it and confirmed. When a girl comes and says "circumcision is good" because of she can't think with her own brain, just repeats what she heard; i become estranged. Also i don't think i can love girls only know watching series but don't even know the difference between planets and stars. 

 

5. Since i don't smoke and rarely drink, i want same.

 

Do you think i can find this girl or i must cut my hope already? How will i find this girl? :)

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What about you? Do you have additional demands like these which make you the alone of the alone? 

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My advice to you is to make a special order from Taiwan !! :)

Ok just Kidding but seriously i think its gonna be very hard to find another duplicate from you, or at least life wont be as you expected if you find one, as you been raised differently and have  your own personality and convictions, others got that too !! so try to find someone who can walk half way to reach a common platform with your convictions cuz that's what couples do to share life !

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I was going to take your post seriously and respond until I read this -  "Also i m obsessed with breasts, so they shouldn't have any fault."

 

No further comment needed...

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Friend, I think we all have things we like/want/desire in a mate, but reality has shortened my requirements. You have the right to want what you want, but so does everyone else. Think about it this way: What if your ideal woman is out there, and you meet none, or 60% of the requirements on HER list? For example, if she said she will not date men who do not make a salary of $XX, XXX(i'm just taking something random), or who are under 5'7, (and you happen to be under 5'7, or not make that salary), YOU have lost out on your chance to be with your ideal woman.  It is best to be as flexible and open as possible.  You want and expect your dream girl to be open to you, too. We all  are imperfect and need grace. When you are more open-minded, you are more likely to meet that other person. if you are a Christian, do not just "put this desire out into the universe". Pray. Give your dreams to God so He can make them true for you. Life guarantees nothing, but God CAN deliver. That's what I believe.

 

You asked if I also have similar demands. It's funny, I do not REQUIRE, but I ALWAYS attract men with an essential set of qualities (who work hard, are decent, kind, LOYAL, affectionate. They just are not Christian). It's like a given. My requirements have been simplified, when I realized that the men I meet are generally good, and it would be redundant to require what's standard. I personally NEED a guy who loves God more than He will ever love me, (because then God can be His teacher. LOL. Sorry, God! But the expectation/hope is that He's had practice with God for a few years before I even came into the picture), who prays,  who wants to have children someday, is more intelligent than I am, has a RIDICULOUS, WILD sense of humor, and does not watch porn or seriously wants to stop. (Most of my exes watched porn, even if not regularly, and this is something I hate). I would really, really like for him to be super manly too. I used to want a really muscular guy, but I do not NEED this anymore. I'm 26 now. LOL. Up until I was 22, I wanted/expected another virgin waiter. Now I just want someone who will wait with me til our wedding night/honeymoon.

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I am open to any constructive criticism. 

 

I must say i'm surprised that you jam in a worthless point. EVERYBODY have these kind of expectations. Can you say you can date with any waiter regardless of his/her physical appearance? It can be anyone on the street ? If no, i threw back your "No further comment needed" comment. If yes, first discover yourself and then be sincere. Because we all have physical expectations.

 

Also you can't blame me because of my expectations. Judging my decisions is not your business. Its so rude, learn your borders. You can only discuss if this make things harder or if i can respond my possible partners expectations.

 

In addition, the thing i want isn't too rare. Every time i see beautiful girls outside which i approve physically (considering their breasts are as good as their faces). The reason why i'm forever alone is scarcity of waiters.

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Because we all have physical expectations.

 

Also you can't blame me because of my expectations. Judging my decisions is not your business. 

 

In addition, the thing i want isn't too rare. Every time i see beautiful girls outside which i approve physically (considering their breasts are as good as their faces). The reason why i'm forever alone is scarcity of waiters.

 

I don't think anyone blames you because you have a physical preference in a potential spouse; most everyone does, you're right. But most everyone recognizes a preference is not a requirement. Even then, though, it's one thing to have a requirement, and it's another to have an unrealistic requirement.

 

Also i m obsessed with breasts, so they shouldn't have any fault.

 

You do realize that every pair of breasts has some amount of imperfection, right? If they're natural (and even if they're not sometimes!) then one of the two will undoubtedly be slightly bigger or slightly smaller than the other. If they're larger, then it's natural for them to have some stretch marks here and there, or for them to "spill" to the sides a bit. If they're perkier, they might be smaller than "ideal" (whatever that means). No pair is ever truly faultless.

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I don't think anyone blames you because you have a physical preference in a potential spouse; most everyone does, you're right. But most everyone recognizes a preference is not a requirement. Even then, though, it's one thing to have a requirement, and it's another to have an unrealistic requirement.

 

 

 

You do realize that every pair of breasts has some amount of imperfection, right? If they're natural (and even if they're not sometimes!) then one of the two will undoubtedly be slightly bigger or slightly smaller than the other. If they're larger, then it's natural for them to have some stretch marks here and there, or for them to "spill" to the sides a bit. If they're perkier, they might be smaller than "ideal" (whatever that means). No pair is ever truly faultless.

 

"Don't take it serious" and "no comments needed" are pretty disrespectful, offensive and irritating. Made me regret sharing my specials.

 

Then can i ask you if you would accept a guy with any height, like 8 inches shorter than you?

 

There are lots of good breasts around, i know (from internet for sure).  I approve all breasts unless they are not saggy. Thats all.

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"Don't take it serious" and "no comments needed" are pretty disrespectful, offensive and irritating. Made me regret sharing my specials.

 

Then can i ask you if you would accept a guy with any height, like 8 inches shorter than you?

 

There are lots of good breasts around, i know (from internet for sure).  I approve all breasts unless they are not saggy. Thats all.

 

 

I never claimed those statements weren't disrespectful, offensive, or irritating. I imagine a number of people found "breasts without fault" comment to be disrespectful, offensive, or irritating, though. That said, I don't think anyone's intention was to upset anyone.

 

Of course you can ask! Honestly though, yeah, I would accept a guy eight inches shorter than me (5'3"-5'4"ish), if he was otherwise a good match for me; I wouldn't write someone off just because of a height difference. I'll openly admit that I have a preference for guys that are my height or taller, but that's just it: it's a preference. For me, the only potential spouse requirements I have are basic things like that he has to want kids, has to share certain values with me, et cetera.

 

I'd take what you see on the internet with a grain of salt; the internet very rarely portrays realistic bodies. And a word to the wise: sagginess is inevitable. 

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I am open to any constructive criticism. 

 

Judging my decisions is not your business.

 

I am sensing a bit of doublespeak here.

 

In addition, the thing i want isn't too rare. Every time i see beautiful girls outside which i approve physically (considering their breasts are as good as their faces). The reason why i'm forever alone is scarcity of waiters.

 

There are lots of good breasts around, i know (from internet for sure).  I approve all breasts unless they are not saggy. Thats all.

 

 

You can't actually know what a fully-clothed girl's breasts are like, because they're usually wearing bras that significantly alter their natural shape and position. And the Internet is definitely not a good place to figure out what typical boobs look like. That's kinda like watching a football game to figure out what the average man's muscles look like. Even if you find a girl whose breasts look flawless to you now, after childbirth and simple aging they will look very, very different.

 

I think a lot of women feel self-conscious about that particular part of our bodies from a very young age for one reason or another, which might be why your comment seemed to strike a nerve.

 

Then can i ask you if you would accept a guy with any height, like 8 inches shorter than you?

 

Well, someone that short would have legitimate dwarfism, so I'd have to consider the impact their disability would have on our future...but I mean, Peter Dinklage and his wife seem to be doing pretty well.

 

FFN_Emmys_ER_092312_50896148-e1396022672

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I am sensing a bit of doublespeak here.

 

 

 

You can't actually know what a fully-clothed girl's breasts are like, because they're usually wearing bras that significantly alter their natural shape and position. And the Internet is definitely not a good place to figure out what typical boobs look like. That's kinda like watching a football game to figure out what the average man's muscles look like. Even if you find a girl whose breasts look flawless to you now, after childbirth and simple aging they will look very, very different.

 

I think a lot of women feel self-conscious about that particular part of our bodies from a very young age for one reason or another, which might be why your comment seemed to strike a nerve.

 

 

Well, someone that short would have legitimate dwarfism, so I'd have to consider the impact their disability would have on our future...but I mean, Peter Dinklage and his wife seem to be doing pretty well.

 

FFN_Emmys_ER_092312_50896148-e1396022672

 

I said i am open to criticism, not disrespect. I'm very sharp.

 

One pic and my thesis decomposed? If i start to upload pics of my examples, it would take years, so don't make me do it please. In other words you are 1% right, i'm 99% (buffed your percentage even) :)

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I never claimed those statements weren't disrespectful, offensive, or irritating. I imagine a number of people found "breasts without fault" comment to be disrespectful, offensive, or irritating, though. That said, I don't think anyone's intention was to upset anyone.

 

Of course you can ask! Honestly though, yeah, I would accept a guy eight inches shorter than me (5'3"-5'4"ish), if he was otherwise a good match for me; I wouldn't write someone off just because of a height difference. I'll openly admit that I have a preference for guys that are my height or taller, but that's just it: it's a preference. For me, the only potential spouse requirements I have are basic things like that he has to want kids, has to share certain values with me, et cetera.

 

I'd take what you see on the internet with a grain of salt; the internet very rarely portrays realistic bodies. And a word to the wise: sagginess is inevitable. 

 

OK, now I admit that "fault" word was unfortunate.I'm sorry for this. I should have said "I must approve it".

 

Saying "yes" here is too cheap isn't it? But being honest is always expensive, which i'm paying here atm. The thing you said is much harder than pressing 3 buttons. Most likely you would skip that guy, don't even need to know how is his personalty. 

 

Imo, physical appearance is more important than you thought. Tons of couples are divorcing because of poor sex life. If you consider we waiters are all locked boxes and expect much from sex, we must approve our partners to not to get a possible disappointment in the future. Sex is very important and done with body, not characters.

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"Don't take it serious" and "no comments needed" are pretty disrespectful, offensive and irritating. Made me regret sharing my specials.

 

Then can i ask you if you would accept a guy with any height, like 8 inches shorter than you?

 

There are lots of good breasts around, i know (from internet for sure).  I approve all breasts unless they are not saggy. Thats all.

 

 

In retrospect I was a little harsh and abrupt there in my response, so yes I apologise about that but it's because I was honestly quite surprised by that comment.  Nothing wrong with wanting certain phsyical features in a woman, of course, all guys have them.  I think it's the fact that you said - "without any flaw" that struck a nerve, as if you are expecting total perfection. 

So are you saying that if she ticked all your other boxes but didn't have the exact type of breasts that you're looking for, you would turn her down? Can you imagine how that would make her feel??  Or just think if a girl you really liked, rejected you because you didn't have big enough biceps or you weren't tall enough etc.?  How would you feel?

 

Maybe you share how much of a prioirty this breast issue is for you...?    

Your other requirements are realistic and are good traits to seek after.

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I said i am open to criticism, not disrespect. I'm very sharp.

 

One pic and my thesis decomposed? If i start to upload pics of my examples, it would take years, so don't make me do it please. In other words you are 1% right, i'm 99% (buffed your percentage even) :)

 

I'm confused; I posted the picture in answer to a question you asked about individual people's preferences...doesn't have much to do with disproving anyone's broader thesis. The picture simply shows that it's certainly possible to be physically attractive even if you differ from the social ideal in a pretty dramatic way, and that people are able to build great marriages even if their match doesn't look the way the media says it ought to. Those two points are exactly why I would date a shorter man, if he was a wonderful person.

 

Sex is very important and done with body, not characters.

 

This is actually a lot less true than people think. Generally, the more awesome a person is, the more attractive I perceive them to be. And sex is so much more about the mental and emotional connection you have with your spouse than what they look like. Looks are fleeting...the people who value physicality above all else when it comes to sex are probably exactly the people who divorce over a "poor sex life," and go on to find some 20-something trophy wife.

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OK, now I admit that "fault" word was unfortunate.I'm sorry for this. I should have said "I must approve it".

 

Saying "yes" here is too cheap isn't it? But being honest is always expensive, which i'm paying here atm. The thing you said is much harder than pressing 3 buttons. Most likely you would skip that guy, don't even need to know how is his personalty. 

 

Imo, physical appearance is more important than you thought. Tons of couples are divorcing because of poor sex life. If you consider we waiters are all locked boxes and expect much from sex, we must approve our partners to not to get a possible disappointment in the future. Sex is very important and done with body, not characters.

 

Fair enough! 

 

I can see where you're coming from, but in all actuality, my "yes" to your question is not "too cheap". I can understand why you might think that I would have a different answer in real life than I do in this forum, but I assure you, I'm being completely honest here. And I'm a touch offended that you think you know me well enough to make that sort of claim about me. For your information, I have dated a 5'4" guy; he was intelligent, exciting, and attractive. It didn't work out because we had very different desires for our futures, but that had absolutely nothing to do with his height. We're still friends. I still think he's an attractive guy.

 

I do not deny that physical attraction is important between two individuals. In fact, I'd say that it's very important. But I'm of the opinion that physical attraction can grow the more you know about a person. If I find someone that I'm not immediately sure how attracted to them I am, I don't discount them right then and there. I'll spend time getting to know them, because oftentimes, aspects of their personality will affect my view of them. There're actually very, very few times that I see someone and think, "Oh wow! That's the most attractive guy ever!" I'm actually not sure I could name one time, but maybe when I was younger, I don't know. Most of the time, my thoughts are more, "Eh, alright. He's attractive; I can see what others would like in him." That acknowledgement doesn't make me want to date him.

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The reason you label yourself as 'forever alone' is NOT the scarcity of waiters. There are plenty of women waiting. But you will need to look into yourself in order to develop into someone who is energetically attractive. Right now, you are pushing good women away.

 

I agree with Chak. If you are looking for a duplicate of yourself... Well, this is not how relationship truly thrives. It does really pay off to find a complimentary partner, with whom each of you can grow and develop, as you love each-other.

 

I also agree with Trying! When you made the comment about breasts having to be perfect, you sounded very judgmental. It's a total turn-off. Even to women with "perfect"breasts! In fact, you wrote that you are against circumcision. Well, if you have happened to be circumcised because of where you were born (and I would be very sorry about that - I also agree 100% with you that is is wrong to do to a baby) then you yourself could be viewed as "imperfect" to some women. Think about that. And you had no choice in what was done to you as a baby. Do you want to be judged for that?? It's the same level of judgement that you use on women who have "imperfect" breasts in your view.

 

In summary, you may be repelling the very women who fit your criteria.

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You do realize that every pair of breasts has some amount of imperfection, right? If they're natural (and even if they're not sometimes!) then one of the two will undoubtedly be slightly bigger or slightly smaller than the other. If they're larger, then it's natural for them to have some stretch marks here and there, or for them to "spill" to the sides a bit. If they're perkier, they might be smaller than "ideal" (whatever that means). No pair is ever truly faultless.

 

Indeed, when it comes to breasts (and physical attractiveness attributes in general) faultlessness is highly subjective. That being said, symmetry does affect perceptions of beauty. Though I think it would be cool if one of my partner's breasts was smaller than the other - I enjoy some quirkiness. As for breast augmentation, (generally) I would say that it would lend more to the side of decreasing than increasing perfection especially if there is addition of artificial material. Exceptions being say genuinely medical/practical reasons not so much cosmetic reasons ie size reduction, reconstruction post-mastectomy.

 

OK, now I admit that "fault" word was unfortunate.I'm sorry for this. I should have said "I must approve it".

 

As mentioned by Steadfast, unless you see someone naked, you really have little to no idea what they actually look like underneath clothing. Apart from a rough breast size, you'd have no idea regarding nipples, areola, shape, perkiness etc

 

How would this work out in practice? "Strip honey, I must inspect your breasts to determine whether I approve or not before this relationship progresses any further. And while we're at it I might as well check to see if your labia are too big or too small. Spread 'em!" 

 

Any self-respecting waiter (or indeed person) would be running for the hills at this point!

 

Sex is very important and done with body, not characters.

 

I have to disagree. While I haven't studied into it myself, I remember reading somewhere that one of the kama sutra thingymebobs was to achieve mutual organism just lying next to each other without any physical touch or stimulation. If you read into the submission/domination aspects of BDSM you will also find that mental and emotional aspects play a far superior role to the physical. The physical seems more just a platform on which to play out the mental and emotional aspects.

 

 just think if a girl you really liked, rejected you because you didn't have big enough biceps or you weren't tall enough etc.?

 

Even there, the size of biceps can be readily changed unlike the shape/size of breasts which generally requires surgery with all its risks and complications. I've heard though that strengthening the chest muscles can reduce breast size so in that regard there might be the slightest leeway.... A different comparison might be a girl with strict requirements as to male member girth, length, and slant, or the symmetrical droopiness of the testicles....(trying to keep this outside the VDA...)

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Its okay to have preferences, and whatever you think and judge is your own business.

 

I think this thread has become more a discussion about how other's opinions are general or not...

 

Sidenote: What about statistics? Statistics are overruled by cultural acceptance and tabu. Just like you cannot make statistics about personal feelings or secrets, because those will not be correctly shared. Being 1% right or 99% (compared to what, statistics?), makes no sense. Its opinions, its always 100% right to the person who expresses them. Cultural accaptance may say, that beautiful people should date equally beautiful people, of approximately same age and height.

That said, many people base their own life on cultural acceptance. They don't want to be anything special, say nothing special or do anything special, that way no one will criticise them. They are paralysed by fear of acceptance and pay the price of a life not truly lived to its potential.

 

Continued...

That doesn't mean one opinion is right or wrong, but personal. That also means that when you ask if someone would date someone 8 inches shorter than his/her partner, that you'll be met my a response that may not be the same as your opinion, but still just as legit.

 

But don't limit and restrict yourself. As waitingforcarats said, you gotta be open. You can live with someone, regardless of looks, as long as you love each other. But not the other way around.

 

Don't pass someone just because they mismatch one of your criteria. Otherwise you may well be looking for a looong time.

Or even, as topic title suggests, forever alone.

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Wow, you may want to modify your list since you want to date a waiter as well. Did you ever find a waiter girl who meets all these criteria? It is ok to have a list but if you think that you must follow it to find a girl, you may not find her. :) Good luck!

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