Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
voulaki726

NON-VIRGIN Waiters who married virgins: QUESTION

30 posts in this topic

Hi! So my question is specifically for those of you who ARE NOT virgins but then decided to wait and married a virgin. 

 

As you know, many of us virgin waiters face some difficulties of differing degree in being with a non-virgin waiter, especially in regards to the issues of:

 

1) jealousy- thinking of this person you love being with someone else in that way, giving that special thing to someone else that was only supposed to be for you (in our mind's at least), and also that someone else gave pleasure to your spouse that was only for YOU to give, that someone else KNEW your spouse in a way only YOU were supposed to know them. it's painful and at times extremely disgusting to think about.

 

2) jealousy as regards to being compared to past partners when we finally have sex, plus feeling like they are bringing all of that past baggage into your sex life.  There's also the fear of being compared, like they are thinking of their past partners/comparing and remembering how it was with them when they are with you. 

 

3) feeling bad since for us virgins it will be our first time and will be special (regardless of how "good" it is technically) but feeling like since our partner (spouse) has done it already it won't be as special for them.  They can take our virginity which is very special, but we won't be able to take theirs because it's already been taken.  For many of us virgin waiters, deep down we always wanted to marry a fellow virgin waiter so that in our minds it can be equally special for both of us.  Basically, it's not like it's fresh clean slate/ new experience for the both of you.  One party is bringing, like I said before, baggage from the past sexual experiences that they could never FULLY forget.

 

4) just having that feeling like your partner has "one upped" you since they've had more experience before, and they can "teach" you what they learned..but who wants someone to teach them what they learned having sex with someone else? ugggh

 

5) basically we also just feel cheated and like it's not fair, " I waited for them, why couldn't they wait for me....they don't deserve me....and I deserve better...shouldn't lower my standards...."  etc

 

So anyway, what I want is for all of you non-virgin waiters who married virgins or who will marry virgins to tell me if these feelings are justified and if they are not justified why we should NOT feel this way.  I'm currently dating a guy who I thought was perfect in every way and who really is great, but I was shocked and disgusted when I found out he had a one night stand, plus another experience which was supposed to be a one night stand but then grew into some pseudo-relationship BS thing. I've been really struggling with all of these feelings for almost two months now and I don't know what I should do- stay with him and get over it, or find something better (is there something better? who knows!)  Thank you!!! 

15 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

what I would also really like to know is, those of you who weren't virgins but waited with a virgin spouse, when you finally got married and made love, did it feel like it was your first time again, even though it technically wasn't??  Thanks would love to hear how it felt for YOU, since I feel we never get to hear the perspective from the other side

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm waiting to see if others comment to your post, voulaki726. For the time being, since I'm not in the category you asked to hear from... I am actually in Your shoes! But I just want to tell you that I really feel the struggle you are having. I have had the same struggle many times. It's really hard, so I feel for you/us.


 


I do believe that it is possible to find a better match, one which will not be unappealing to you. (Have you tried talking with him about your feelings on this? Perhaps that could help open something up. Just an idea.)


 


My heart extends towards you, and I feel your pain and struggle. Don't give up! 


 


Love and Blessings, ~Noga


6 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey voulaki726 (and Noga!),

I was a virgin, married someone who wasn't, so I understand your feelings. There were things about my husband's sexual past I did not like...as time goes on, however, I think about it much less. It would only be a concern if he thought there was nothing wrong with what he did before. I'm not saying that I think he should walk around in shame, but that it shouldn't be something that he looks at as just something great he did one night...

I don't think it feels like they are having sex for the first time (that would just be wishful thinking on my part!), but it would be the first time with you, with the intention that you will be the last. That is what would make it special.

I don't probe for sexual comparisons from my husband because I don't want the thought of any previous partner to taint the sex that I enjoy. Also, I think I'm a pretty great wife! I'm not trying to sound full of myself, but I don't feel insecure of my 'abilities', sexual or otherwise. I don't even think about it most of the time,what consumes my thoughts more is "why do you keep drinking directly out of the cream container!?l" and "please, for the love of all that is good, eat more vegetables while you are working out of town..."

If your standard is virgin...then you would be lowering your standards, so it would be normal to feel that way. But it's important to remember that sex isn't a competition. You aren't trying one-up anyone, and they definitely should not treat it that way either. Also, if a man is acting like your teacher, and not letting you figure it out for yourself...well yeah that should bother you. Mostly because: he can't tell you what you like. Only you can tell him that. In the same way, you can't tell what he likes either, unless he lets you know. So in a sense, you will teach each other, whether you are a virgin or not. If a man acts like a know-it-all about what you will like....he does not know it all. And what a turn-off that would be!

4 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

First and foremost, if a person can't handle the emotions with being with a non-virgin, don't do it.  It's not fair to either person.

 

 

 

2)  There's also the fear of being compared, like they are thinking of their past partners/comparing and remembering how it was with them when they are with you. 

 

 

In regards to the above, if the virgin is afraid of being compared, in actuality, the non-virgin is the one being judged here!  The virgin is the one bringing the past up and holding it to them. Love is pure.  If the non-virgin loves a person than they are busy loving them, not carefully comparing them to every past partner they've had.

 

 

 

3) feeling bad since for us virgins it will be our first time and will be special (regardless of how "good" it is technically) but feeling like since our partner (spouse) has done it already it won't be as special for them.  They can take our virginity which is very special, but we won't be able to take theirs because it's already been taken. 

 

They can't give you their virginity, true.  But it still will be very special to them; very.

 

 

 

4) just having that feeling like your partner has "one upped" you since they've had more experience before, and they can "teach" you what they learned..but who wants someone to teach them what they learned having sex with someone else? ugggh

 

 

Some relationships with two non-virgins feel that way too. Even one non-virgin can have a lot less experience than another non-virgin. They may not be a virgin, but a non-virgin hasn't necessarily experienced it all.  There are LOTS of things to try in the bedroom.  It's just healthier to leave the past in the past as much as possible only focusing on the relationship that you are in. 

 

 

 

 

5) basically we also just feel cheated and like it's not fair, " I waited for them, why couldn't they wait for me....they don't deserve me....and I deserve better...shouldn't lower my standards...."  etc

 

You weren't in their life at the time they made the sexual choices that they did.  Maybe they didn't ever imagine meeting anyone as wonderful as you and you were life-changing for them.  Maybe you DO deserve better.  But if you decide to be in a relationship with a non-virgin, you will have to make peace or don't date them.  Because to date someone and resent them for being a non-virgin is very, very hurtful. So just don't do it. There are other virgins.  Everyone needs love.
 

6 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

what I would also really like to know is, those of you who weren't virgins but waited with a virgin spouse, when you finally got married and made love, did it feel like it was your first time again, even though it technically wasn't??  Thanks would love to hear how it felt for YOU, since I feel we never get to hear the perspective from the other side

 

I don't know anyone on this site who is a non-virgin that married a virgin.  There has been virgins that married non-virgins though.

 

Also, when nonvirgin women don't have sex for a long time or haven't had a lot of sex, they actually shrink "down there".  So for THAT kind of woman (an abstinent non-virgin), there might still be some pains and soreness on the first time with a new partner.

Making love with a new person is ALWAYS exciting, first time or not.

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey voulaki726, I totally feel for you and Noga.

 

I see many people struggling with those feelings. I am in similar situation. I have a girlfriend who unfortunately had sex with her ex-boyfriend. We are together almost 10 months and I know about that problem for more than 8 months. Like you, first 2 months were the worst. After that there were ups and downs and recently I thought I can not handle feelings of confusion or gloom but after emotional conversation we decided to try little bit more. I know I could marry her and be happy and that those feelings will always be there. Not that strong though. 

 

What you feel is what you feel. Feelings don't need justification but in this case I think they express the reality. When people get married they give themselves completely one to another hence those feelings are "tears of soul" cause sex (especially the first) is a special gift and once lost can never be restored. What you feel is not everything. You will never be as close as if both of you were virgins. You might be very close, super close but there always will be at least some bit missing. I understand that and I try to accept, some people can't handle this and many will disagree but if you think and look closely you will see it's true. 

 

Because of the above I strongly oppose calling what we feel as "jealousy". Being jealous is something very different in my opinion. You feel jealous for something that doesn't belong to you, but as stated above people who get married give everything to the other person so we feel this sadness, pain and other feelings because someone else was using what is (or might be) ours. 

 

Also because of that I don't like what Queen did here. All her comments to the issues you mentioned blur the problem.
1. Of course sex with new person is somehow special or with someone who is loved it is very, very special but it's absolutely special only if you are the only one. 
2. Example with non-virgins getting married and feel confused too because of "experience" differences only confirms that it would be the best for them to wait until marriage too. 
3. Obviously you weren't there when they had sex and our partners didn't even imagine they will meet us, cause otherwise that would be intentional cheating, which is terrible and I wouldn't wish that to happen even to my worst enemies. But still, if you take into account what marriage is, this actually is somehow cheating. NOT INTENTIONAL, unaware and 
thoughtless naturally. 

 

4 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well an older friend of mine slept with over 200 women in his lifetime.

I understand that a lot of the hurt comes from not being the first but the reason why he is with his current wife isn't because of the sex. He loves her regardless of sex.

 

I'm in the same boat as most people on this site, except I'm single. I don't know if I'll ever marry but I'm hopeful that when I move up to northern california and near a christian college there I might be a little more lucky. Either way though, you have to realize that the biggest part about marriage itself isn't about sex.

 

Sure sex is a big part of it, but commitment and being happy with your relationship is number one. If the virginity issue bothers you so much then it is best to move on. One of my good friends married a girl who was a virgin, she's still mad at him but they still try to make their marriage work despite it. He feels guilty and as such he does a ton more to please her... which is quite a one sided relationship in that regard.

 

Everyone is different in what they can mentally handle, but that's the thing about marriage in this day and age. You can choose who you will be with, so choose wisely.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I want to give a shout to Queen, who always speaks with such wisdom, no matter the topic. But obviously, this one hits home a little more, so her wisdom shines through even more.

 

There are two things that I would really like to add to this discussion.

 

The first is regarding the fairness of it all. I used to think this way all the time - "If I waited, and they didn't, what was the point of waiting?" - and, I won't lie, those feelings occur to me at times. But then it really warrants careful reflection and evaluation of your beliefs: Why are you waiting? Are you waiting because of what you get out of it? I always said I was waiting because it was respectful. And so, when I found someone else didn't wait for me like I did for them, I felt disrespected, and got angry.

But if I'm waiting for THEIR sake, shouldn't that be enough? Waiting is noble, selfless, respectful. And knowing you're saving yourself to give more to your partner should be reward enough. (I've learned all this from my own experiences.)

 

The second is regarding the partner's mindset. I've spoken to some of the nonvirgin waiters here in depth about their experiences, one in particular (she knows who she is - and she is amazing). I had a lengthy discussion with her, and it was quite insightful. I asked her about her preference for a partner in terms of history - would she rather one who is sexually experienced, a virgin, or maybe she has no preference at all? What she told me was very eye-opening, and spurred further discussion - while acknowledging she can't adamantly stick to her preference for fear of hypocrisy, SHE WOULD PREFER A VIRGIN MAN! So, that raised some interesting questions in my head: Why would someone who has experience particularly want a virgin man? If she'd already had sex, and experienced "the wonders of all it is" (which, for many people, especially women, is way off - you'd be surprised how many don't look upon their sexual experience as anything particularly good), why would she rather be with someone who is "innocent" in that regard? Is it some kind of sick fantasy to have power over a partner? Or does it speak to how they view themselves?

This woman was one example of a theme I see recurring more often - if someone regrets their sexual past, is it farfetched to think they'd want to start over?  I offered her my insights, and asked for her to comment - say what I got wrong, got right, etc. What we discovered was that she wants a virgin because, for all intents and purposes, she FEELS like a virgin. She has, in her mind, started over. While she can acknowledge that her experience is real, it almost doesn't feel that way - it feels very distant from who she is. The next time she makes love to someone, it will not be "the best" - it will be just as it would be if it were "the first". Because that's where her mind is. She's started over.

 

Not everyone who has sexual experience wants to start over. But if someone regrets their past, and is now waiting until marriage, chances are they wish the could start over.

However, many men and women, while they want to start over, feel they can't, because of bitter virgins like us saying "IT'S NOT FAIR!!! WE ACTUALLY WAITED, YOU DIDN'T!!!" Yeah, imagine trying to start over and being told you can't. Eventually, you accept it as truth.

Queen mentioned how "down there" literally changes to more of a virgin-like state - so does the mind. Whether you believe in God's transformation of the spirit, or simply fundamental cognitive changes, it happens. It's real.

 

This is not meant to only be advice, but also comforting insight. If someone has had sex, they can't change it. And as Queen has pointed out, it can come with pain, remorse, hurt. That kind of emotion reminds someone that they can't become anyone new, that their past has etched their destiny in stone. But it's not fair, and not true. If any of us LUCKY virgins made a mistake, we would want to know we could start over and live according to our values.

But if you let them start over, be who they ARE NOW... There won't be that clear-cut virgin/non-virgin distinction.  It's all in the mind - that's what's important.

 

If you want those fears of comparison, that jealousy, the consequences of their experience, to be gone, let them be bygones. Let them start over. And you will, as far as their experience of it is concerned, will be their REAL first.

 

I know this all sounds crazy, but it's real. It's that good. Trust me. I didn't give that opportunity to my last girlfriend. Now that I started seeing someone who has experience, and does not look upon it particularly positively (an understatement, for certain), I plan to let her start over and be who she wants to be. If I do so, we may marry, and I'll rock her psychologically-virgin world in the future.

 

Good luck. Anyone who wants to talk about this further, please feel free to talk with me. It's important we realize how important all this is.

15 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

They can't give you their virginity, true.  But it still will be very special to them; very.

Perhaps, in some ways, even more special. If a virgin partner lets their non-virgin partner start over, then the sexual intimacy will not be a sign of love and affection, but also of acceptance. The virgin is saying that the past does not matter, and both can be in the present moment, being who they want to be, with who they want to be that person with,

 

The more I understand the non-virgin waiter, I feel heartbreak. I imagine being in their situation, and while I could come off strong and confident, it would crush me. That's shaped a lot of who I am now, and how I deal with dating non-virgins. I don't feel jealousy, I feel blessed. And I see myself as a capable of providing them acceptance and unconditional love. It can make such a difference.

8 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

PaulJustPaul,

Thanks for this post, great insight. This sums up much of how I feel on the subject, just worded and laid out much better than I would have done! I don't expect others to feel the same way as me on this subject, everyone has the right to choose who they want to be with. But I have always thought of it in terms of me being in the other person's shoes. I would hope that I could be given a new beginning also.

6 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I neither expect every waiter to feel like this. Everyone has their preferences eventually or rather: knows what he/she can deal with in a relationship and what not.

Also I think it´s not always easy to say: "the past is the past. It doesn´t matter anymore".

Depends on the circumstances, I guess.

I think, it would be incredibly hard for me, if my spouse had really massive experience like the friend Ringer mentioned (had slept with over 200 women!!!) Wow. Right now, I honestly don´t know if I could handle THAT much of past experiences. For now, I don´t think I could.

But it´s definitely great insight and I actually find myself in your words, Paul.

 

This somehow reminded me of something the wonderful author and songwriter Christa Black has written:

 

"Marriage gives two people the difficult but incredible opportunity to be completely naked in front of each other -

physically, emotionally and spiritually.

The problem is, most of us have parts of our lives we´re terrified of anyone seeing.

But if full exposure isn´t allowed, if we are not able to reveal everything about ourselves (good, bad and ugly) within the covenant of marriage, true intimacy can never happen.

Marriage isn´t about perfect people finding a perfect mate.

It´s about two imperfect souls coming together as one, making a covenant to stick around when the ugly parts get exposed,

and then loving each other with grace and understanding while helping each other walk into wholeness."

 

 

If I ever happen to date a non-virgin waiter, who sincerely wants to start over and feels WTM is now the right choice for him to do, then I will do my best to love him wholeheartedly with grace and respect and reach out my hands to him to help him walk into wholeness.

 

Still have to figure out how much "sex past" I can handle and what I can handle regarding the circumstances this "sex past" happened, though.

But I guess/hope I´m not the only one who ponders over those questions...

 

Thanks for your post, Paul.

9 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I neither expect every waiter to feel like this. Everyone has their preferences eventually or rather: knows what he/she can deal with in a relationship and what not.

Also I think it´s not always easy to say: "the past is the past. It doesn´t matter anymore".

Depends on the circumstances, I guess.

This is so important. It's easy to make sweeping generalizations, saying "Well, you lost your virginity, so you're toast!", or "You're always a virgin". Who the person is, matters.

 

I'm always a huge proponent of making sure important moral values align in a relationship, including waiting. All this forgiveness doesn't work if your partner doesn't want it, and doesn't care for waiting.

 

I had a nearly year-long relationship which ended about two years ago. And she said she understood why waiting is valuable, and was waiting with me. But I knew, deep down, it wasn't really important to her, and to this day, I believe that's why I could not get over her history. For someone to exist as if their past is distant from their current selves, they need to wish it to be so.

5 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I'm always a huge proponent of making sure important moral values align in a relationship, including waiting. All this forgiveness doesn't work if your partner doesn't want it, and doesn't care for waiting.

 

 

Yes, SO important!

It´s hard if your partner doesn´t really care for waiting and actually thinks it´s....weird (or any other negative notion).

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This thread has really pulled the heart strings.  My eyes sting a little and my heart wells in gladness.  Such personal growth and significance shine through in the comments. 

 

Compassion for others comes from imagining yourself in someone else's shoes.  I wish everyone happiness.

 

Loved the quote from Christa Black. Thanks for sharing that, WakeUp&BeAwesome.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I want to give a shout to Queen, who always speaks with such wisdom, no matter the topic. But obviously, this one hits home a little more, so her wisdom shines through even more.

 

There are two things that I would really like to add to this discussion.

 

The first is regarding the fairness of it all. I used to think this way all the time - "If I waited, and they didn't, what was the point of waiting?" - and, I won't lie, those feelings occur to me at times. But then it really warrants careful reflection and evaluation of your beliefs: Why are you waiting? Are you waiting because of what you get out of it? I always said I was waiting because it was respectful. And so, when I found someone else didn't wait for me like I did for them, I felt disrespected, and got angry.

But if I'm waiting for THEIR sake, shouldn't that be enough? Waiting is noble, selfless, respectful. And knowing you're saving yourself to give more to your partner should be reward enough. (I've learned all this from my own experiences.)

 

The second is regarding the partner's mindset. I've spoken to some of the nonvirgin waiters here in depth about their experiences, one in particular (she knows who she is - and she is amazing). I had a lengthy discussion with her, and it was quite insightful. I asked her about her preference for a partner in terms of history - would she rather one who is sexually experienced, a virgin, or maybe she has no preference at all? What she told me was very eye-opening, and spurred further discussion - while acknowledging she can't adamantly stick to her preference for fear of hypocrisy, SHE WOULD PREFER A VIRGIN MAN! So, that raised some interesting questions in my head: Why would someone who has experience particularly want a virgin man? If she'd already had sex, and experienced "the wonders of all it is" (which, for many people, especially women, is way off - you'd be surprised how many don't look upon their sexual experience as anything particularly good), why would she rather be with someone who is "innocent" in that regard? Is it some kind of sick fantasy to have power over a partner? Or does it speak to how they view themselves?

This woman was one example of a theme I see recurring more often - if someone regrets their sexual past, is it farfetched to think they'd want to start over?  I offered her my insights, and asked for her to comment - say what I got wrong, got right, etc. What we discovered was that she wants a virgin because, for all intents and purposes, she FEELS like a virgin. She has, in her mind, started over. While she can acknowledge that her experience is real, it almost doesn't feel that way - it feels very distant from who she is. The next time she makes love to someone, it will not be "the best" - it will be just as it would be if it were "the first". Because that's where her mind is. She's started over.

 

Not everyone who has sexual experience wants to start over. But if someone regrets their past, and is now waiting until marriage, chances are they wish the could start over.

However, many men and women, while they want to start over, feel they can't, because of bitter virgins like us saying "IT'S NOT FAIR!!! WE ACTUALLY WAITED, YOU DIDN'T!!!" Yeah, imagine trying to start over and being told you can't. Eventually, you accept it as truth.

Queen mentioned how "down there" literally changes to more of a virgin-like state - so does the mind. Whether you believe in God's transformation of the spirit, or simply fundamental cognitive changes, it happens. It's real.

 

This is not meant to only be advice, but also comforting insight. If someone has had sex, they can't change it. And as Queen has pointed out, it can come with pain, remorse, hurt. That kind of emotion reminds someone that they can't become anyone new, that their past has etched their destiny in stone. But it's not fair, and not true. If any of us LUCKY virgins made a mistake, we would want to know we could start over and live according to our values.

But if you let them start over, be who they ARE NOW... There won't be that clear-cut virgin/non-virgin distinction.  It's all in the mind - that's what's important.

 

If you want those fears of comparison, that jealousy, the consequences of their experience, to be gone, let them be bygones. Let them start over. And you will, as far as their experience of it is concerned, will be their REAL first.

 

I know this all sounds crazy, but it's real. It's that good. Trust me. I didn't give that opportunity to my last girlfriend. Now that I started seeing someone who has experience, and does not look upon it particularly positively (an understatement, for certain), I plan to let her start over and be who she wants to be. If I do so, we may marry, and I'll rock her psychologically-virgin world in the future.

 

Good luck. Anyone who wants to talk about this further, please feel free to talk with me. It's important we realize how important all this is.

wow, thanks so much!  Since I posted this, I've actualyl been coming to better terms with it myself, I started to realize many of the things you posted here!  I'm not saying I'm completely over it, but it's getting much better!  I agree with the whole virginity of the mind thing, and I try to put myself in his shoes.  And I also reasoned that I would probably be his first REAL time- because with the first girl- he got hurt so it wasn't a good experience at all for him he told me, and the second girl he wasn't really in love with just went along with it because he was bitter after being hurt, he wasn't even really in love with the girl.  He told me I AM everything he ever wanted in a girl, so I figure then with me it would be his first REAL sex experience, the way it's supposed to be done within the context of love and marriage! So, in that sense, YES I could be his first time!

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

wow, thanks so much!  Since I posted this, I've actualyl been coming to better terms with it myself, I started to realize many of the things you posted here!  I'm not saying I'm completely over it, but it's getting much better!  I agree with the whole virginity of the mind thing, and I try to put myself in his shoes.  And I also reasoned that I would probably be his first REAL time- because with the first girl- he got hurt so it wasn't a good experience at all for him he told me, and the second girl he wasn't really in love with just went along with it because he was bitter after being hurt, he wasn't even really in love with the girl.  He told me I AM everything he ever wanted in a girl, so I figure then with me it would be his first REAL sex experience, the way it's supposed to be done within the context of love and marriage! So, in that sense, YES I could be his first time!

Beautifully put. :) It's tough - it took me a couple years to know true forgiveness and compassion like that. You will be the first real time. And you will rock. his. world.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There is so many wrongs in this topic that I would need to spend too much time referring to everything. Perhaps I will say more in the near future but now I just want to make somethings clear.

 

1. Sex binds all aspects of human life together. People who do it bind strongly: physically, chemically, biologically, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually. And even when people don't know the scientific terms and facts they usually know that it is something more than "holding hands". 

 

2. That is why there is no such thing as being a virgin in some other areas.

 

3. When making a decision don't believe in some fairy tales and loads of talks and elaborations which will blur the truth. Everything you think about losing virginity is true and knowing that make decision, ask yourself: do I want it, can I accept it. Cause talking about it like nothing happened is lying to yourself and the relationship is then based on a lie. Make a clear cut and say yes or no. 

 

I am personally in this situation right now and falling from "propose" to "finish relationship". It has nothing to do with forgiveness and I will say more about it later when I have time cause I see many people delude themselves instead of bear the reality. 

4 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Couldn't have said it better!

I don't know anyone on this site who is a non-virgin that married a virgin.  There has been virgins that married non-virgins though.

 

Also, when nonvirgin women don't have sex for a long time or haven't had a lot of sex, they actually shrink "down there".  So for THAT kind of woman (an abstinent non-virgin), there might still be some pains and soreness on the first time with a new partner.

Making love with a new person is ALWAYS exciting, first time or not.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with all the worries mentioned but I have to accept the fact that im not perfect either and that I am doing this for Christ. I think it might take a miracle or at least a blessing from God for me to find a virgin wife I want to marry as I am hoping she is almost perfect and beautiful and very christian...unless voulaki726 that is your real picture.... If so then date me towards marriage??? lol

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with all the worries mentioned but I have to accept the fact that im not perfect either and that I am doing this for Christ. I think it might take a miracle or at least a blessing from God for me to find a virgin wife I want to marry as I am hoping she is almost perfect and beautiful and very christian...unless voulaki726 that is your real picture.... If so then date me towards marriage??? lol

 

XD :D:lol::P !!!

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It is hard to date a non virgin waiter. He will not understand the reasons you decided to wait till marriage. I hope you make the right decision in your relationship especially if you two decide to marry one day.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey all, thanks for all the comments, BUT no worries anymore! The dude dumped me..a few months ago! And it's for the best (the non-virgin thing wasn't the only problem), and I'm happy to start over!   :D  I learned a lot of good things from this experience though. 

4 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with all the worries mentioned but I have to accept the fact that im not perfect either and that I am doing this for Christ. I think it might take a miracle or at least a blessing from God for me to find a virgin wife I want to marry as I am hoping she is almost perfect and beautiful and very christian...unless voulaki726 that is your real picture.... If so then date me towards marriage??? lol

no, that's not my real picture sorry! Haha! 

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Doesn't matter. A girl who waits till marriage is incomparably more beautiful then the one who has already lost the priceless treasure, even if the latter is Miss World, Universe etc. 

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0