DHZ

Why isn't God helping me find a wife?

11 posts in this topic

I mean, I've already at point where I know that the only way I could possibity finding a girl is through God's grace. But even then, it doesn't really feel like he's helping me at all in this area.

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How do you know its not you whos missing every chance he is putting in front of you? anyway if you think you can go to the maximum to reach your goal you have a whole world to look for your other half  :)

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I mean, I've already at point where I know that the only way I could possibity finding a girl is through God's grace. But even then, it doesn't really feel like he's helping me at all in this area.

 

Did you try asking God yourself?  No one on this site or anyone else can answer better than He Can.

 

Look at your question.  Imagine if you wanted to ask your father something, and you asked your mother: "Why isn't Dad letting me do this?"  You might as well ask your dad yourself because no one can answer on behalf of one better than that one's self.  It is the same with God except its like you are asking someone else about what your dad thinks right in front of him.  I mean, your dad is standing right there, why didn't you just ask him instead, right?

 

Just ask God directly.  No one can stand between you and the Creator of the freakin' universe...

6 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Now I'm Agnostic so decide what you wanna do with my advice here.

I suggest focusing on God and yourself. God's supposed to be first so try and live a good life and praise God. Pray, learn, read the bible etc...

Also work on yourself. Work on being the right kind of man. Work on being marriage material. Get a job a car and a positive direction in your life.

So focus on God and on bettering yourself and let God deal with the whole future wife or girlfriend aspect. He knows you want one. He knew it before you realized you wanted one.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Now I'm Agnostic so decide what you wanna do with my advice here.

I suggest focusing on God and yourself. God's supposed to be first so try and live a good life and praise God. Pray, learn, read the bible etc...

Also work on yourself. Work on being the right kind of man. Work on being marriage material. Get a job a car and a positive direction in your life.

So focus on God and on bettering yourself and let God deal with the whole future wife or girlfriend aspect. He knows you want one. He knew it before you realized you wanted one.

 

Great answer from an agnostic.  As a Christian, I love to build bridges to other faiths and beliefs.  I am happy that you like to build bridges from another direction as well.  Meeting another halfway on belief is one of the things this site allows in a very comfortable way imho.  I am glad that just about anyone who is WTM can bring in a lot of support from a wide spectrum.

 

=D

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There was an old man sitting on his porch watching the rain fall. Pretty soon the water was coming over the porch and into the house.

The old man was still sitting there when a rescue boat came and the people on board said, “You can’t stay here you have to come with us.â€

The old man replied, “No, God will save me.†So the boat left. A little while later the water was up to the second floor, and another rescue boat came,  and again told the old man he had to come with them.

The old man again replied, “God will save me.†So the boat left him again.

An hour later the water was up to the roof and a third rescue boat approached the old man, and tried to get him to come with them.

Again the old man refused to leave stating that, “God will save him.† So the boat left him again.

Soon after, the man drowns and goes to heaven, and when he sees God he asks him, “Why didn’t you save me?â€

God replied, “You dummy! I tried. I sent three boats after you!!â€

I always liked that joke :). God can't do all the work for us, we have to dig in and do it too. But, we can still thank God for his beautiful world and people.

6 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I always liked that joke :). God can't do all the work for us, we have to dig in and do it too. But, we can still thank God for his beautiful world and people.

I share your view but i wished you didn't attributed a joke to God.

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah, I'm starting to think it's more me that needs to go up and talk to girls.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There was an old man sitting on his porch watching the rain fall. Pretty soon the water was coming over the porch and into the house.

The old man was still sitting there when a rescue boat came and the people on board said, “You can’t stay here you have to come with us.â€

The old man replied, “No, God will save me.†So the boat left. A little while later the water was up to the second floor, and another rescue boat came,  and again told the old man he had to come with them.

The old man again replied, “God will save me.†So the boat left him again.

An hour later the water was up to the roof and a third rescue boat approached the old man, and tried to get him to come with them.

Again the old man refused to leave stating that, “God will save him.† So the boat left him again.

Soon after, the man drowns and goes to heaven, and when he sees God he asks him, “Why didn’t you save me?â€

God replied, “You dummy! I tried. I sent three boats after you!!â€

I always liked that joke :). God can't do all the work for us, we have to dig in and do it too. But, we can still thank God for his beautiful world and people.

 

 

In other words "God Help Those Who Help Themselves" 

 

To the OP: I'm not a religious person but may I suggest you do soul searching? I believe if you do soul searching you'll eventually learn new things along the way. With new things comes new interests. I'm pretty sure by the time you have a vast array of interests, then the girl of your dreams will come since she too will have some common interests you can relate to.

 

Also understand that there is more to life than just having a gf/wife. 

4 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think you need to start putting more focus on you and your life (faith, career, hobbies, family) and try not to worry so much about finding a wife. Try and keep your focus on what God wants for you, not what you want for you. You've mentioned church before, so I'm guessing you are religious, and believe in God.

Learn to be happy, and content, with yourself, and the progress you are making during this time being single. Continue doing those things, and don't just stop after a short time. It takes time and a lot of repetition to teach ourselves and change ourselves.

Continue to try and talk to women, but don't put so much pressure on it needing to be more than that. You're just adding pressure (therefore, heartache) to yourself, and they can sense, if only subconsciously, an urgency in you that may be a turnoff. By letting things just be what they are, you take that pressure off. Maybe you will find great friendship (maybe something really special, with someone who you'll find a wonderful comfort), maybe you'll find love, maybe it will be nothing...but, no matter what just let it be what it is. While doing this maybe love will surprise you but, at the very least, you might find that you'll meet some interesting people.

I also want to point out the cold, hard, truth...unfortunately not everyone does find love, marry, or live a long happy life with someone. However, I believe, that the less emphasis you put on it, the easier it becomes to understand and be ok with whatever happens...or, maybe that's just me...or, maybe it just takes years and years to let that really absorb...you'll still yearn for it, on occasion, but it will eventually not be the axis of you life anymore. Also, by de emphasizing it, it makes it easier for it to actually happen...or so I've been told.

You'll enjoy life more if you find happiness inside and, if you do find love, she will enjoy you more because you are happy inside. Happiness should not be reliant upon another human, but should be enhanced by them. True happiness, deep in your soul, needs to come first.

Ok. I apologize if that was a bit harsh. I try really hard not to be harsh, but to also be as helpful as I know how when answering these types of questions. I try to give thoughts, and advice, that I will use to guide my nephews when their time comes.

I also want to add that if you're feeling depressed, or just need help figuring out how to be happy, please seek some professional help. There is absolutely no shame in talking to a counselor. Heck, it might even help you learn how to talk to people.

5 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Do a 3day fast (from social media, non-organic food, a fruit and veggie fast, secular music etc: PICK A CATEGORY) and during that time, pray and seek God about your wife.

Put yourself out there.

Learn how to approach and be comfortable around women. Women like shy men, but we don't want to feel like you are afraid of us or lack confidence. 

Take a good look, first, at the women in your church.

Do you have a godly mentor? One of the men or pastors in your church you can talk to about this?
I bet there are at least half a dozen women in your church who are just WAITING for you to approach them and ask them out.

 

Women want to be PURSUED. God will not drop a woman in your lap. Show her you're interested, and follow suit. CALL, don't text. (Text gm and gn). Open doors. Read Proverbs. Read books on how to be a gentleman. Ask God to develop the man in you and teach you what it is to love. That is the most essential quality of a man. As you work on finding this wife, learn to love. I highly recommend 1 John, 2 John, and "The Art of Love" by Erich Fromm

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now