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What do your family & friends think about your decision to WTM?

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Hi there everyone :) I hope you are all keeping well and are willing to share your experiences to the above question.

 

The question to what your family members and friends think about your decision to WTM has been on my mind for some time, so I finally thought I would ask it. When answering, could you tell me and people who are reading this thread if you're from a religious background; whether your parents were waiters; whether your siblings or friends are waiters; whether in the environment around you, waiting is quite normal; what your family's and friends' reactions were when you told them; are family members and friends supportive/understanding? ... And anything else you can think of! I think it would be very interesting to learn about other people's experiences with this.

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Hey. I'm not really from a "religious" background but I am saved a Christian,, goes to church. Not overly religious at all. Neither of my parents waited for marriage and neither did my siblings. Which is frustrating when you need somebody to talk to. My mom was really proud of me I know because she used to tell me that all the time. She wanted me to wait until I was ready ,:) my oldest sister says waiting for marriage is like buying a shoe without putting it on. She thinks it's crazy and doesn't really see my point of view. She is all for holding on to your virginity for as long as you can but she wouldn't marry somebody without having sex first. I'm from South Ga. Waiting is not normal in my environment besides myself I only know 3 virgins my age. Probably more around but I don't know them. Seems like people are giving it away younger and younger. My 14 yr old cousin got a girl pregnant so now he's a dad and he's not even 15 yet. all my friends and family are supportive and so are most of the people I tell. I get "I wish I would have waited" all the time. Guys think I'm nuts of course and I haven't been in many relationships because of it. I don't know what else to say lol

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to be completely I still do not know how/when/why I decided to WTM. 

My entire family has an orthodox christian background and when it comes to sex or the other stuff, they did not tell me ANYthing. I developed myself by my own.Even in my family, we do not really talk about religion, sex etc but I am pretty sure they are expecting me WTM.

When it comes to friends, well it is a little bit confusing. I am in a fraternity and I am pretty sure you know how that stuff goes...
Since I like flirting with ladies, they kinda see me as a ''player'' even though they know everything about me.

so yeah. Idid not get any support but honestly, Idid not really need it.

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My family doesn't know. I was raised in a completely non-religious family (mother is agnostic, father is atheist) with varying degrees of tolerance towards religion. My sister is a bit of a mystic, my cousin is probably going to become Christian when she's older, but the older generation (parents, grandparents etc) are mostly opposed to all forms of faith. All of them had sex before marriage - some of them quite young. Most of them don't know what my religion is, let alone that I'm waiting till marriage. I didn't feel safe being open about either in an environment like that. (When I told my grandmother about my beliefs, she said I need to "start living in the real world" so… yeah.)

 

Waiting is very uncommon in the area that I live in. My friends know what it is, but only one of them knew someone besides me who was waiting, and the girl in question was very religious. Waiting for love, though, is a lot more common. Some of my best friends waited or are waiting for the right person, so they were understanding when I told them I'd taken it a step further. Their reactions were very much "okay, good for you if that suits you". The people I hang out with aren't into the hook-up culture (in fact, I think it's a lot less prevalent where I live than in other places) so it's easy to find common ground, even if the extent of what we're comfortable with varies from person to person :)

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My family aren't religious. People where I live don't wait. Some will wait for relationships or love but I've never met (in real life) someone who is waiting. I actually don't know if I know any virgins my age. Casual sex is so much part of the culture here as is cohabitation. It's sort of just assumed that if you get a boyfriend/girlfriend you will have sex with them soon enough. I hate that assumption. Why is it that people ignore that there's even a choice?

My parents didn't wait and I remember my mother once saying that waiting didn't make sense...I think her reasoning was the commonly used 'test drive'/'see if the shoe fits' theory which to me is ridiculous but explaining all my reasons for waiting just seems awkward and difficult. So I haven't told them but if I ever get a boyfriend I'll probably have to drop it in somewhere.

It doesn't help that my sister lived with her first boyfriend on and off from when she was 17 until they broke up. Then she had two children with her second boyfriend. They're still together and happy I suppose but to me they're not a real family unit in the way I would like. It is their choice though and they can do as they please. Somehow I think my parents might be less understanding of my decision to wait than hers not to. They didn't blink when she started birth control and sleeping over but if I mentioned that I'm looking for a ring first they would probably have some questions. 

They are supportive, don't get me wrong. They wouldn't be angry or upset but I mean to say they wouldn't understand because it's just not the done thing.

As far as friends go I have some lovely ones who are supportive and accept my choice. I also know people who feel differently, they don't judge me for my choice and I don't judge theirs but we disagree massively about this kind of thing. For example the other day I was talking to my friend (a boy) who was discussing how he has casual sex because he got sick of waiting and didn't like being the only guy in his friend group who hadn't. When I said it means more to me than that, he said it used to for him so he stopped caring (in order to be able to have the no strings sex). It sounds like he did it almost solely to be accepted, to not be judged. Quite frankly if he made it to 20 without it he could've gone longer so to me it was definitely a choice he made to be seen as 'normal'. He has mentioned before that he does care what people think and obviously he lets this influence him. I kinda wanted to shake him after he said that. He is basically letting society rule his life. Doing something to be accepted is a crappy reason in my opinion and truthfully I lost respect for him after this. I really don't want to be friends with people who don't have the strength in their own convictions. I don't mind if they have sex as long as it is their choice, not something they're doing so they can be 'cool' or whatever. Being around people who think like that isn't what I want, which is why I love this place so much. 

Sorry about the tangent.

At the end of the day this is my body and my choice. A choice I made for me and I am keeping for me. It sucks if people don't understand but it won't change anything. I'm not living my life for them, I'm living it for me. 

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my family are moderately religious but I sort of worked it out for myself. At college everyone seemed to be in and out of everyone's beds all the time and I just felt this was all wrong. I was very young for my age and stil lived at home and my parents were quite protective of me. Having to be home by 11 at night helped guard me from dangers I think. My parents ar enow very supportive and proud of my decision which is great.

My friends think I'm strange though

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Some of my siblings got married young to have guilt free sex. They're all divorced. I think one or two are virgins. Most of my friends are having premarital sex. Less than 3 or 4 said they're waiting til marriage. Parents didn't wait until marriage. Most of my family don't know I'm waiting, since I don't keep in contact with them.

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I was raised in a not overly-religious household with my parents until I was six, and then I began to be raised by my grandparents, who were/are extremely devout Catholics. They expect me to wait until I am married to have sex, I think, but it has never been something that they were overly pushy about. They themselves did wait, though, and have been married for 53 years now. As for my parents...as someone who was born out of wedlocke, I don't think they care too much, but I hate my parents and try to talk to them as rarely as possible for various reasons. That being said, I don't think any of them know. I have told a few friends, and the response I have gotten have ranged from indifference to ridicule. I know one person who I know for a fact is a virgin and is waiting until marriage, but he is also an extremely devout Catholic, and I am an atheist, which makes things even more difficult for me. Waiting until marriage to have sex is very much an anomaly where I am.

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