Chak

A popular girl !!

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As a title it sound nice to be popular, but everything got a price, the idea is a friend of mine is in couple with a girl that all her friends are males !! she simply dont like to be friends with girls since all time and feel comfortable with boys, and that she will never change, accusing my friend of being an old fashion and close mind.. which bothering my friend so much who asked for my advice, so what do you think he should do?? should he just break up and move with his life or give her more space and be herself even at the expense of his own feelings ?

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A guy is uncomfortable with a girl having guy friends? I would tell him to get over it, or move on if he can't handle it. Her having guy friends doesn't suddenly make her less trustworthy, or more likely to cheat.

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A guy is uncomfortable with a girl having guy friends? I would tell him to get over it, or move on if he can't handle it. Her having guy friends doesn't suddenly make her less trustworthy, or more likely to cheat.

It doesnt look that simple as you can imagine,ive told him the same myself, he explained that he trust her but she dont respect his feelings..simply he see her more often having lunch with one or a dinner with another, sitting on the lap of one, or even huged by another, recieving compliments and flirts even in his presence or even pulling her from his side and taking her to another corner..kinda things, so its a bit hard as a situation especially if you are in love with that person

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After reading that, I would say, yes she’s disrespecting their relationship. If this happened to me this would be enough to cause me to stop loving them after realizing they’re doing this and I would move on. Maybe I’m cold. He needs to find someone who will love him as he loves. If she’s flirting and sitting on laps of other men, and spending more time with them as well, I don’t see why she needs to be in a relationship LOL.

 

I think some women are thrilled by male attention and don’t understand what the problem is sometimes and usually may not be able to see it since they’re almost intoxicated by this and hurt relationships (If they’re in one) by flirting (the lap thing makes me cringe but hugs are definitely okay).

 

On the other hand having male friends is not threatening at all as long as she respects their relationships and the friends respect it as well. Same thing goes for a male with many female friends. I have a lot of male friends and at one point in my life I had to let go of a lot of female friends (who knows what happened…) and I had only male friends at that point. Of course I’m always single LMAO so that doesn’t matter.

 

I think the thing to go off of is did he know she was like this before he got into a relationship? It’s hard to pinpoint this only because of course the flirting could have been going on and he didn’t see it until now, but still. I can’t stand that LMAO.

 

Best of luck to him. Personally, I would move on, especially if he has talked to her already. That disrespect is enough to make my blood boil :P. These guys she’s with don’t respect their relationship either, which is also bad for this situation.

 

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After reading that, I would say, yes she’s disrespecting their relationship. If this happened to me this would be enough to cause me to stop loving them after realizing they’re doing this and I would move on. Maybe I’m cold. He needs to find someone who will love him as he loves. If she’s flirting and sitting on laps of other men, and spending more time with them as well, I don’t see why she needs to be in a relationship LOL.

 

I think some women are thrilled by male attention and don’t understand what the problem is sometimes and usually may not be able to see it since they’re almost intoxicated by this and hurt relationships (If they’re in one) by flirting (the lap thing makes me cringe but hugs are definitely okay).

 

On the other hand having male friends is not threatening at all as long as she respects their relationships and the friends respect it as well. Same thing goes for a male with many female friends. I have a lot of male friends and at one point in my life I had to let go of a lot of female friends (who knows what happened…) and I had only male friends at that point. Of course I’m always single LMAO so that doesn’t matter.

 

I think the thing to go off of is did he know she was like this before he got into a relationship? It’s hard to pinpoint this only because of course the flirting could have been going on and he didn’t see it until now, but still. I can’t stand that LMAO.

 

Best of luck to him. Personally, I would move on, especially if he has talked to her already. That disrespect is enough to make my blood boil :P. These guys she’s with don’t respect their relationship either, which is also bad for this situation.

Thank you for your sincere opinion, sometimes some persons in a relationship can be selfish, thinking they can do everything good or bad without any responsability, its kinda weird to disrespect the partner who truly cares for you, maybe i think shes not ready yet to be a part of a couple or anything that we can call a serious thing..

Yes acting the way she does isnt helping at all, its absolutly inacceptable and complicating the whole situation time after time its kinda provoking, having guy friends is ok with limits as you said but some guys males or females can use that friendship sometimes to destroy the relationship by playing tricks and i think thats whats happening with my friend but the problem is this girl isnt seeing it this way nor acting to put borders,Having males friends only is a very bad idea while looking for a life partner, as there is women who dont like to share their partner there is men who dont like that at all its kinda psychic ....just saying !!

The girl was attracted to him since all time but i think she like to have him beside being with others and thats very crazy..so yes am with you moving on is a very good thing to have a new start with someone with similar way of care and respect.

By the way playful hugs never gonna be as a normal hugs especially from persons outside the family ..guys like to touch females while they dont expect it !!

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First, she is disrespecting your friend's feelings, comfort and requests. That is enough to drive a relationship into the ground.

Second, these men are not friends. You do not sit on a friend's lap, or flirt with them. She is seeking male attention, in a flirtatious manner too! The fact that she refuses to have female friends is also just terrifying. She can have a higher ratio of male friends, but women need women and she shouldn't cut herself off from them.

I agree, women can flirt with other men and not cheat on their partner. But, I do consider it extremely disrespectful. One of my married friends does this, and it drives her husband crazy. So, be sure to tell your friend that this will not change... even after marriage.

Also, I have to question the communication and general respect these two have for each other, both of which are key to a successful relationship. There is a lot more to dating than "Attraction". Is she telling him ahead of time that she is gathering with friends, or is he personally finding this? Many people say, "That one shouldn't be expected to report to their significant other." And while you do not have to tell your partner that you snuck a cookie, telling them where you are and with whom is of utmost importance.

My boyfriend and I both have friends of the opposite gender. We don't say no to the other person's friendship. But, we do tell each other about it, and usually we invite the other person to come along to any planned gathering. When together, there is no flirting, just enjoying the good company.

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First, she is disrespecting your friend's feelings, comfort and requests. That is enough to drive a relationship into the ground.

Second, these men are not friends. You do not sit on a friend's lap, or flirt with them. She is seeking male attention, in a flirtatious manner too! The fact that she refuses to have female friends is also just terrifying. She can have a higher ratio of male friends, but women need women and she shouldn't cut herself off from them.

I agree, women can flirt with other men and not cheat on their partner. But, I do consider it extremely disrespectful. One of my married friends does this, and it drives her husband crazy. So, be sure to tell your friend that this will not change... even after marriage.

Also, I have to question the communication and general respect these two have for each other, both of which are key to a successful relationship. There is a lot more to dating than "Attraction". Is she telling him ahead of time that she is gathering with friends, or is he personally finding this? Many people say, "That one shouldn't be expected to report to their significant other." And while you do not have to tell your partner that you snuck a cookie, telling them where you are and with whom is of utmost importance.

My boyfriend and I both have friends of the opposite gender. We don't say no to the other person's friendship. But, we do tell each other about it, and usually we invite the other person to come along to any planned gathering. When together, there is no flirting, just enjoying the good company.

thank you dear for your comment, i totally agree with you, this relationship is like a boat with two captains, gonna sink sooner than later so it's better jump overboard  :)

i can see you are having a friend acting the same way, i still dont understand why some people who have someone in their life  or even married can act this way , to make their partner jealous? to send a message that i can change you anytime i want? i can get better than you ? make no sense to me other than its very disrespectful, beside it's just flirting and not cheating but in any mans eyes its cheating to his feelings, his honor and his pride unless his not a real man .. you can imagine whats a woman gonna feel if her man act the same way !
personally, in a couple i would prefer to have couples as friends so both me and my partner would feel comfortable and respecting each other in our presence or in each other absence.

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Nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex even while dating or married. But there has to be boundaries. This girl has long overreached those boundaries. 

 

I agree with what others have said in that you simply do not sit on the laps of someone of the opposite sex that you're not in a relationship with. Nor do you flirt with them. I don't care how open a friendship is or how supposedly "nothing happens" when people do it, that kind of behavior is simply inappropriate outside of a relationship. That is red flag number one. The second red flag is that she is not respectful of his feelings and she is not open to changing. As shocking as it may be to her, there are still people even in this twisted society that still believes crazy, archaic ideas like exclusivity, honoring your partner and commitment. If that makes me closed-minded then I'll wear that label with pride. It's pretty clear that she is playing with your friend's emotions and just like the attention of multiple guys. I hope your friend comes to his senses and runs the opposite direction.

 

What I do disagree with what some have said about how flirting isn't cheating. In my opinion, it is definitely cheating because it is more than just the action, it is a reflection of what is in the heart. My definition of cheating is willfully seeking romantic or sexual intimacy outside of a committed relationship. Flirting falls within that because it is acting in a way that is suggests a greater level of intimacy than that of a platonic relationship. You are basically coaxing the other person to respond in a way that is more than friendship.  There is no such thing as "harmless flirting." Because even if you doing it just for thrills, that means you're emotionally immature and shouldn't be dating anyways. Secondly, the other person may get the wrong idea and pursue something further which can lead to all sorts of drama, hurt and confusion down the road. In the case of this girl, if she is so open with flirting in front of your friend, it makes you wonder what else she is doing when he's not around.

 

If you are someone who wants a committed and secure relationship, you have no business flirting with anyone else, period.

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Nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex even while dating or married. But there has to be boundaries. This girl has long overreached those boundaries. 

 

I agree with what others have said in that you simply do not sit on the laps of someone of the opposite sex that you're not in a relationship with. Nor do you flirt with them. I don't care how open a friendship is or how supposedly "nothing happens" when people do it, that kind of behavior is simply inappropriate outside of a relationship. That is red flag number one. The second red flag is that she is not respectful of his feelings and she is not open to changing. As shocking as it may be to her, there are still people even in this twisted society that still believes crazy, archaic ideas like exclusivity, honoring your partner and commitment. If that makes me closed-minded then I'll wear that label with pride. It's pretty clear that she is playing with your friend's emotions and just like the attention of multiple guys. I hope your friend comes to his senses and runs the opposite direction.

 

What I do disagree with what some have said about how flirting isn't cheating. In my opinion, it is definitely cheating because it is more than just the action, it is a reflection of what is in the heart. My definition of cheating is willfully seeking romantic or sexual intimacy outside of a committed relationship. Flirting falls within that because it is acting in a way that is suggests a greater level of intimacy than that of a platonic relationship. You are basically coaxing the other person to respond in a way that is more than friendship.  There is no such thing as "harmless flirting." Because even if you doing it just for thrills, that means you're emotionally immature and shouldn't be dating anyways. Secondly, the other person may get the wrong idea and pursue something further which can lead to all sorts of drama, hurt and confusion down the road. In the case of this girl, if she is so open with flirting in front of your friend, it makes you wonder what else she is doing when he's not around.

 

If you are someone who wants a committed and secure relationship, you have no business flirting with anyone else, period.

I totally agree with every single word you wrote down, even being considered as an old fashion when it comes to honor and pride as a man in a relationship, i can even add that anyone can stop dealing with me if only wanting a cold man without pride, values, emotions and any woman whos looking for such a person she can simply get a puppy :)  

Everything got rules and red lines, and its diffrent from a person to another, personally, i cant tolerate my wife being friend with her Ex she used to date, even nothing happend but life goes on and the past stay in the past i dont need to see it in front of me everytime !! as you said drama happen and i like to keep it away from my life !

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His girl friend should should be willing to change some of her habits, knowing that now she is not all by herself. Of course she can have only boys as friends, but her Relationship with them should be limited, at least to show some kind of respect to her boyfriend.

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His girl friend should should be willing to change some of her habits, knowing that now she is not all by herself. Of course she can have only boys as friends, but her Relationship with them should be limited, at least to show some kind of respect to her boyfriend.

Thanks for your opinion, i think it's too late for this advice as they broke up and my friend went on his way .

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Thanks for your opinion, i think it's too late for this advice as they broke up and my friend went on his way .

Sad sad, but better be alone than mal accompanied!

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Sad sad, but better be alone than mal accompanied!

It was the last solution, people arent all same, some can tolerate things and others no, but am sure one day soon she gonna recognise her mistake ! as you know life is a good teacher !

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