Sobriquet

Being a whore is a goal now?

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Ok ok people let's agree to disagree and continue helping each other wtm! Yes?

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Steadfast...... I can say the same to you. But help me understand this: "If you do not self-identify as a slut, it is probably not your place to decide how it ought to be used."

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@Buster Cannon, Lexia, Welcome, Jasmine...

 

Do you guys not see the problem with using the literal definition of slut to justify calling someone (including someone you don't know anything else about) a slut? Unlike other literal descriptive words that wouldn't be offensive,"smoker" for instance, slut carries a whole lot of negative baggage, such as, oh Idk, years and years of being used to smear and denigrate women's character. It's silly to lump that negative baggage in with the "consequences" she needs to "own" for choosing to have sex as she likes.

 

Yes, people are judged by other people for their actions. To an extent, that is a necessary and inevitable part of society. But some judgments are completely and utterly pointless and based on things that really don't have anything to do with a person's value or character. That's why I repeatedly qualified my statement about the stigma and stereotypes associated with a woman sleeping around as being unnecessary, but as far as I have seen no one addressed that part. I do have a problem with someone calling me a prude for choosing to WTM. That is not a consequence of my choice and I don't have to own it and they have no right to call me that.

 

As far as I'm concerned, someone else's sex-life is irrelevant to me*, and I don't have any right to judge them for their sex habits. I only have a right to judge them for actions that affect other people.

 

*Unless we're considering a relationship together, of course.

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Welcome is right.... she wouldn't be a whore just a Slut..... so so vulgar.

But then again a Whore doesn't have to take money she or he could take other things like std's and a piece of someone's heart.

Here's what I said for those that read too fast.... I didn't say she is a whore or slut I said she would be called those things do get that straight. Another thing, we are adults we may say what we please. If we offend someone we go to them personally and get it right as I have done in the past but since it seems like specific people like to jump down other people's throats there's no helping. My thing is.... it's said that people can't just vent on here anymore without argument. Sobriquet was venting. So what if he's fresh out of high school as someone (don't remember whom) decided to point out... Adults have their days too no one is perfect. You all that disagree with me and others don't always have to act like jerks and vice versa with us. We are all WTM so that's how we should see each other not as enemies but hey that's just my opinion. Although we only have one side of the story we spoke on what we had and from what Sobriquet said, to me her actions are on the slutty side imo.
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Here's what I said for those that read too fast.... I didn't say she is a whore or slut I said she would be called those things do get that straight.

 

Really?

 

He didn't call her a SLUT I did :)

 

 

He didn't call her a Slut it was basically me. There are all types of sluts. I was friends with one and she had the most amazing personality and she had an amazing heart. I use words of the past because I have no idea where she is or is doing now..... but no matter how sweet she was she was a slut. She willing slept with multiple guys and she nicely kicked them to the curb and went to the next one.

 

 

How about this.... what I've learned over the years

If you have sex with multiple people by choice and get some form of payment for it you're a whore. If you have sex with multiple people just because you want to you're a desperate person looking for love or satisfaction in all the wrong places or also called a slut...... or just plain stupid. But if you're trying to be something you're not, then you're pathetic OR should I say acting?

 

Seriously, what's with this thread? It's literally devolved into an argument about whether it's acceptable to call someone a slut or not. 

 

Look, I get that people are upset with this girl for what she's doing. I think it's awful, too. By all means, tell us how you think it's wrong. But I'm reading this thread, and it's as if people are actually taking pleasure in calling this woman a whore and a slut. And it's especially bothering me seeing Christians doing it.

 

It's a real cliché, I'll admit, but what would Jesus do? More to the point, what did He do? When he met the woman caught in adultery, He didn't pretend she'd done nothing wrong: He told her "Go, and sin no more." The woman at the well, He didn't pretend she wasn't sinning: He told her "You've had five husbands, and the man you're living with now isn't your husband." But you know what He never told them? "Well, you're a slut, aren't you?" No, it was the Pharisees who did that. When a woman came crying to Jesus and began kissing His feet, they were the ones who asked if He know "what sort of woman" she was. All Jesus cared about was that she was coming for forgiveness.

 

Again, this thread is just getting silly.

 

xxx

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Jesus also threw tables and told people the truth about themselves. Maybe I should have responded with "she's acting like" or "would be acting like" why is it so necessary to point out someones religion if they say how they feel or what they think? As a matter of fact you don't need to answer that because this topic isn't about religion it's about the actions of a young lady that supposedly wants to act out in a disgusting manner. Yes Jesus forgave a whore but if this girl will deliberately go out and expose herself then what do you call her? Definitely not a lady.

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Yes Jesus forgave a whore but if this girl will deliberately go out and expose herself then what do you call her? Definitely not a lady.

 

Why do we need to call her anything? Why not just "a woman who's having pre-marital sex"? What does a label like "slut" or "whore" achieve? I mean, say that this woman, or a woman in a similar situation, reads this thread. Is seeing people calling her a slut going to help her in any way to turn her life around, or is it just going to make her think we all hate her?

 

xxx

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I will say again from what Sobriquet has said, her actions are slutty if she gets paid for it her actions are whorish. Thats what I'm saying and that's what I'm sticking with. If she doesn't have premarital sex or if she does and feels sorry and ask for forgiveness then she's a woman or a lady in my opinion. No one said anything about hate so if they think they then they must hate themselves. I've said all I want to say and I'm not changing it.

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Ah, the WTM high horse syndrome.

"I don't have sex, so I can shame ANYONE I want, and devalue them to subhuman levels, so I can call them a slut to satisfy my own ego!".

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Josh let's take the word Bitch.

I'm sure you've heard phases such as "I'm/You're a bad bitch", "I love you bitch", "i got your back bitch" . Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch.

Tell me where the derogatory nature is. Show me. Please. Or just admit that the word bitch isn't inherently bad just like slut isn't inherently bad.

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Words aren't inherently anything.

Shaming people and judging them negatively for no good reason is the issue.

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It was being used in a way to label someone in a derogatory manner, to separate them from society, just because of their sexual choices.

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If you started a thread called "Steadfast is a bitch" I would be offended. Because you would be insulting me. Because in most contexts the word bitch is an insult. You are not really helping your cause by comparing 'slut' to another gendered insult towards women.

 

Like Matt said, the only thing words inherently are is a collection of symbols and sounds. Their meanings have always been variable, and have always rapidly shifted depending on culture and context (some words that are spelled and sound exactly the same carry entirely unrelated meanings based on context). Culture and context is especially important to take into context when it comes to slurs and how they may be used. My friend calling me a "badass bitch" is a term of endearment that lets me know they appreciate my tenacity and determination. You calling me a bitch in the context of a debate on this forum would be an overt insult that could very well attract a moderator's intervention.

 

Context; it's important.

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If calling someone a slut hurts their feelings, then why do it? What does it say about religion when you're trying to defend the right to hurt other people's feelings?

 

By and large, when you call someone a slut, it's going to hurt their feelings. Arguing about the times it may not is a distraction to the main issue which is we should strive not to hurt other's feelings. 

 

I think the solution is to use the word 'promiscuous' which describes having many sex partners without using a word that's loaded with negative connotations and hurts other's feelings. But, perhaps more importantly, other people's sex lives are none of our business. And the deal-breakers people have for their desired partner is also nobody else's business

 

When pregnancy enters the equation, this subject gets more complicated, though, since the reality is that no birth control is 100% effective. Nevertheless, I can't see any redeeming value to calling another person a slut.

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@Buster Cannon, Lexia, Welcome, Jasmine...

Do you guys not see the problem with using the literal definition of slut to justify calling someone (including someone you don't know anything else about) a slut? Unlike other literal descriptive words that wouldn't be offensive,"smoker" for instance, slut carries a whole lot of negative baggage, such as, oh Idk, years and years of being used to smear and denigrate women's character. It's silly to lump that negative baggage in with the "consequences" she needs to "own" for choosing to have sex as she likes.

Like I said earlier, I don't use the word 'slut' to describe people, and it's not something that I encourage folks to do. My disagreement doesn't stem from that. What I'm saying is that my belief about sexual promiscuity being stigmatized is different than yours. I think that someone's willingness to sleep around can and often does speak of one's character and self-valuation. I don't believe in condemning folks, but I think it's fine for certain actions to have a bit of a stigma towards them, especially if it'd benefit society as a whole.

Personally, I think our culture views sex as something cheap as opposed to something sacred. I think we'd be a little better off if casual sex was discouraged instead of encouraged.

*drops two pennies on the table*

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