Bashful_dove48

Do you know if you want kids?

14 posts in this topic

I'm 21 now and I've always been iffy when it comes to wanting kids. For the longest time I'd swear to anyone who mentioned it that I don't want kids. I'd roll my eyes whenever people would say, 'You'll change your mind when you're older'. I would still have those moments where I'd think 'If I have kids someday..'. In the end I resolved that my preference was to not have kids, but if my husband wanted them, we would. Is it weird to not be certain at my age? Obviously I'm too young to want children right now, but don't most people know by my age whether they want kids someday or not?

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I know a lot of people our age who don't know if they want kids or not; it's pretty normal. I've always known I want them, though.

 

(Also, if you don't want kids, I wouldn't have them just because your spouse wants them; it's not really fair to the resulting children. I think whether to have kids or not is something that potential spouses have to be 100% on the same page about.)

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I have always wanted children. When I was younger, it was an abstract thought. Something reserved for adulthood. But now that I'm older, there is not a doubt in my mind that I want a husband to love and raise children with.  

 

OP, I don't think there is anything wrong with preferring a childless marriage, but I don't necessarily believe having children to appease your partner is the right way to go about things, either. 

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Thank you both for your replies. Like I said, I'm not totally against having kids. Heck, when I talk about the future with my boyfriend, marriage and kids sounnds kinda nice. When it comes to right now though kids freak me out. I think probably one of the biggest reasons I've always been opposed to having kids is I'd worry I'd be a terrible mother and I still fight that fear at times.

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I always knew that I wanted to marry and have children. The urge to have children gets stronger with age, but it certainly isn't a new concept. Maybe as you mature your opinion will change, maybe not. Either way, I wouldn't suggest having children, unless you and your partner have firmly decided that you want them.

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I am okay with having one child and that is it.  One pregnancy and DONE.  I am open to dating someone with kids though. 

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When I was your age, I did not want kids either, EVER. I considered getting my tubes tied. (Most hospitals will not do it unless you are over 26) I seriously did not want kids. My thought was, why bring a child into this sick, twisted world? I love kids. I am a teacher and everything. But I was not interested in having kids. Well, I am 26 now and since I was about 25, I have been ITCHING to get married and have kids. I have baby fever like CRAZY. So yes, that might change for you, and it might not.

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Nope. I never want kids. Ever since I was 16. People told me you'll change your mind. Well I haven't. I can't imagine being pregnant or taking care of a newborn. I would make a horrible mother if I did become pregnant. I hope if I do get married I can get a tubal ligation but that's hard.

I do have a heart for foster kids. Specifically teens, since it's harder for them to find homes. I may sign up to foster.

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I'm 20 and I still don't know if I ever want kids or not. Maybe I'll want some when I'm older and/or married.

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I've always wanted kids but sometimes I wonder if it's right. I can do everything I can to be a good mom and to pick a good guy to have kids with and earn a living feed and clothe them etc but sometimes when I'm in deep thought about how shity this world has gotten or may still become I wonder if it's moraly right to knowingly bring new life into this crap hole we call earth. Obviously there's good things about life but you know when you get in that spiral thinking......

Anyhow I've also always wanted to adopt so weather or not those bad thoughts got the best of me I'd still like to adopt as that is life that already exists and who's experience I can make better by being a parent.

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BTW you say "my age" but I have no idea how old you are although I think it can be normal to be undecided at any age.

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@Bekki, I know what you mean. I wouldn't be surprised if the economy gets worse and I wouldn't want to put my kids for that just for the selfish enjoyment of having them.

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I've always wanted kids but sometimes I wonder if it's right. I can do everything I can to be a good mom and to pick a good guy to have kids with and earn a living feed and clothe them etc but sometimes when I'm in deep thought about how shity this world has gotten or may still become I wonder if it's moraly right to knowingly bring new life into this crap hole we call earth. Obviously there's good things about life but you know when you get in that spiral thinking......

 

Despite it's flaws, the world today is better than it's been at any other point in history. Even in times way worse than what we face now, people still managed to carve out good lives for themselves and their kids. People are resilient above all else. As long as you give them a good foundation, they'll be fine.  :)

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