Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
waitn4myprince

sex and waiting

26 posts in this topic

Hey Guys,

So I often have this conversation with my girlfriends and boy do we know how to get a live forum going! Anywho…would you still consider yourself waiting to have sex before you got married, or would you still consider yourself a virgin if you had anal sex, oral sex, or anything other than vaginal penetration. Is oral moral, is anal less venal. For those who don’t know, “venal†is corruptible…work with me ok, its hard to find words that rhyme with anal :lol: So what are your thoughts? Would you still consider yourself waiting if you engaged in sex of any kind? Do you choose to separate the word SEX from the acts mentioned above, or do you view them as sexual acts and choose to abstain from them all. Just curious.

Holla back yall B)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Great question w4mp!!! I think a few of us oldies have talked about it beforr, but id be interested to see what others have to say. For me personsally, anything with sex in the name is a no-go before marriage. So im REAL popular with guys :P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Haha Sally that made me laugh!

I'm a "nothing below the belt" guy myself. So yeah pretty much if it has "sex" in the name I'm not comfortable with it. I would say I draw the line at "spirited" making out (Thats the only way I can think of to put it :lol: ). To me anything after that is getting very sexual and in my opinion those urges can't be rightly fulfilled outside of marriage so why tempt yourself (I.e. keeping clothes on for the most part, no blatantly sexual touching, etc.)

I feel like Mike made some sort of continuum (for lack of a better term) awhile back that went from like not kissing before marriage through everything but intercourse...def an interesting topic!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Here is the link to the earlier forum post of the same question so you can see the old answers:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey!

I would say, technically, you can only lose your virginity having vaginal sex (gosh, that sounds dirty, can I just call it "making love" instead?), but I'd say that if you did anything else, oral, anal (ewww, it's gross just typing those...) etc. where the goal is basically to get sexually pleasure, I'd still count it as a type of sex. And I'd say, if you're WTM for actual sex but you're still doing "other stuff", that's cheating! Having your cake and eating it too! (what does that expression even mean? What else would you do with cake?)

Jason Evert (my favourite chastity speaker!) suggested that anything that involves sexual arousal belongs in marriage. Which would basically include...I really don't like saying them...well, anything with "sex" or "job" in the title, I suppose. Also, passionate kissing, as in when you end up sticking your tongue down someone's throat.

xxx

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Jegsy,

Ive heard of him too since I also go to a Catholic church. To me, it seems that they are saying kissing is okay before marriage but not making out. I think we could argue thst there CAN be a difference, deoending on the person in terms of the definition of virgin and chaste. Im okay with what i said earlier on the forum. I dont know if that lines up with Jason Evert, but i dont care. I used to be like that and have learned to do things for me and not just because someone else says so. I can listen and incorporate whatever I like or agree with into my life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Jason Evert (my favourite chastity speaker!) suggested that anything that involves sexual arousal belongs in marriage. Which would basically include...I really don't like saying them...well, anything with "sex" or "job" in the title, I suppose. Also, passionate kissing, as in when you end up sticking your tongue down someone's throat.

Interesting...never heard of him but he sounds similar in views to a baptist preacher I heard once. His sermon was titled "Sexual Purity" and it was truly awesome I thought. I have a recording of it saved on my computer and I've listened to it quite a bit. He talked about refraining from anything with "sex" or "job" in the title (well not in those exact terms, but same idea). And I agree with that. He also talked about abstaining from prolonged kissing, french kissing, etc. which would be the equivalent to passionate kissing I would think. Do I abstain from that? Well...no. But I mean I see where that could get dicey. But, similar to Sally, I feel like I can agree with alot of what that preacher said (and probably this Jason Evert guy) without having to subscribe to 100% of his views, after all I am my own person. Jason Evert...I'm gonna have to look him up B)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Am still a little skeptical on this subject as am still trying to figure out what I think is okay and whats not but I think that if it has to do with penetration than no your not a virgin....So anal and vaginal would disqualify you. However am still not to sure about oral either but I do agree that still that is best saved for marriage

seeflo

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

To me, ANY kind of sexual activity - vaginal, anal, oral, mutual masturbation, even giving hand-jobs - all count as sex and I wouldn't do that. ESPECIALLY no vaginal or anal! Never having anal, even with my husband. Anyways, I don't know how I feel about oral yet. It is a kind of sex, yes, but it's not breaking your virginity. I, personally, would never let a guy get past second base.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Okay, my rule of thumb is if it can give me an STD, keep it away from me. So, no to anal, vaginal, & oral. Incidences of head & neck cancers associated with HPV are increasing among men & women. Heads-up guys, you can contract HPV by going down on a girl & vice-versa for the ladies! So the same virus that's giving girls cervical cancer is probably causing head & neck cancers in dudes! FYI, there is no such thing as safe sex. As for the passionate kissing, I believe that the CDC found at least one incidence of HIV being contracted through kissing, so I would recommend a flashlight inspection of their dental work before taking a trip to France, just saying. Not to mention the other stuff that can be contracted from kissing: Herpes (occasionally), Mono, Hepatitis, etc. I tell my sexually active & "anything but penetration/vaginal" peeps, that if they're going to go there, they need to Lock It All Up. There are oral prophylactics if oral is what you're into. & when it comes to kissing, be careful who you lock lips with. Do your research on potential kissing buddies, contraception, & STDs...& pleeeease be safe!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ah, the technical virgin question! See here.

I'm going with Jegsy Scarr. "Technical virgins" count as virgins as far as I'm concerned, but I'm suspicious of them, notwithstanding. As the article says, it will often lead to people going all the way and it still counts as a sex act.

By the way, I consider myself in the middle category. Only kissing and holding hands are acceptable.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

To me, ANY kind of sexual activity - vaginal, anal, oral, mutual masturbation, even giving hand-jobs - all count as sex and I wouldn't do that. ESPECIALLY no vaginal or anal! Never having anal, even with my husband. Anyways, I don't know how I feel about oral yet. It is a kind of sex, yes, but it's not breaking your virginity. I, personally, would never let a guy get past second base.

I completely agree with you Sophie

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

TG: anything that makes you fall asleep?!? Lol, well makibg out doesnt so youre saying nothing past that?!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I could never imagine walking into my wedding night having done nothing but kissed my husband. Its already going to be awkward having sex for the first time but having sex be the first thing you do is just... *cringe* lol.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Okay I hope I don't sound dumb but what is oral sex, like kissing?? and what is vaginal penetration???

I will say I don't mind going to third base after we've been dating for atleast 8months plus but not too often either on a rare and limited basis.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I could never imagine walking into my wedding night having done nothing but kissed my husband. Its already going to be awkward having sex for the first time but having sex be the first thing you do is just... *cringe* lol.

haha I understand what you mean, I guess everyone is different but personally I think it's soo romantic and a really special moment that I wouldn't want taken for granted♥♥

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

HMM. Well I have experience on this...Its like a snowball effect...

First it starts with something small lets try that...

then its lets try this...and this...then this...eventually it goes to a point where you might as well just do it because you've done everything else.

So I agree with Sally, nothing that even has sex attached to it. I'd go as far to say I wouldn't even want to come into TOO much physical contact with someone...its just additional gravity on the weight(wait lol) that's on your shoulders

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

thanks all for your replies,

personally, Im going to have to agree with Dulce on this one, Ive seen waaaaay to many of my friends get STDs from oral, anal sex etc. and as far as hand jobs go...Ive seen syphilis of the hand ok! NO. Im waiting till marriage cause I want both of us to have legitimate STD test before doing the deed.I dont have no bugs, you dont have no bugs and here is the paper to prove it. even after marriage anal and oral is out, poo comes out one end and peepee the other... really though...really :blink:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hahaha w4mp, i think everyone has things they'll do that they dont really want.to just because they love.someone else. I would include those in that. (After marriage of.course)

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

thanks all for your replies,

personally, Im going to have to agree with Dulce on this one, Ive seen waaaaay to many of my friends get STDs from oral, anal sex etc. and as far as hand jobs go...Ive seen syphilis of the hand ok! NO. Im waiting till marriage cause I want both of us to have legitimate STD test before doing the deed.I dont have no bugs, you dont have no bugs and here is the paper to prove it. even after marriage anal and oral is out, poo comes out one end and peepee the other... really though...really :blink:

I've been thinking a lot about this. I think it would bring me peace of mind if both me and my husband got STD tests before "doing the deed", but I don't know if that would make him upset. I was talking to a virgin guy and he said that he would be upset if his wife/gf asked him to get tested. I asked him why he would be upset if he was really a virgin and STD free, and he said that he would be disappointed that she doesn't trust him.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I asked him why he would be upset if he was really a virgin and STD free, and he said that he would be disappointed that she doesn't trust him.

yeah I could see that, but you have to have a blood test to get married so why not an std test too B) I think it should be confirmed that both parties are cootie free :lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0