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What qualities are you looking for?

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Just like JeanCarlos' fantastic question/thread:

After knowing a woman is willing to wait until marriage, what other qualities are you looking for in a girlfriend/wife?

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This is a simple, timeless, awesome question.

 

I want to be with someone who is compassionate. If she's not already vegan, that's fine, but knowing that she is interested in adopting that lifestyle is wonderful. I don't think one can be compassionate AND condone needless killing or exploitation, so that's a really important marker of compassion. I want to share some of the BIG values with her - no to animal exploitation, no to nontherapeutic abortion, yes to gay marriage rights... Outside of those, I think I could deal with differences. I want to know she cares about lives other than her own and those of her loved ones.

 

I want to be with someone who is kind.  I'm a real softie, trying to always be the "nice guy". My best friends compares me to Superman - the uptight do-gooder. I don't need her to be exactly the same as I am in that sense - my "niceness" is a defining quality of mine, but need not be for her. I simply want to know she'll be a good mother.  I want to know that she'll treat people with consideration. I want to know that, when I'm spending time with someone with an "intellectual disability", she'll interact with them in a genuinely sweet way. So, while I don't need someone who's as intense about it as I am, I want to be happy that my girlfriend loves all kinds of individuals, and will treat our child(ren) with respect, regardless of how they might be born.

 

I want to be with someone who is engaging intellectually. When I'm discussing a new theory I'm devising, or sharing something I've learned, or if she does the same with me, I want to be able to have discussions about these things. It's nice to talk with a girl who can respond with more than "Uh-huh."

 

I want to be with someone who is spiritual. How? Not sure. I don't think it matters too much what her religion is. I'm a theist, but without definition, so I'm not picky there.

 

I want to be with someone who is open-minded and creative. I'm a big superhero nerd, so I'd like being able to watch superhero or sci-fi movies with her. But it's not a big deal. I'd more like to share art - theatre, music, painting, poetry, etc. I want to converse with a mind that is hungry for new insight.

 

I want to be with someone who is outgoing. Why? Because I'm not. I love to be with someone who can take me out into the world, show me things I never imaged. I want someone who can keep a conversation going with my parents. I tend to admire extroverted women to balance out my introversion.

 

In a nutshell...

I'm looking for a partner to explore the world for all its beauty, and work to make this world better for its current and future inhabitants. I want to change the world, and if I can do that with her by my side, all the better.

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Kindness, Big-heartedness, loving/caring, and selflessness

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After knowing a woman is willing to wait until marriage, what other qualities are you looking for in a girlfriend/wife?

 

 

I am not gonna talk about nice personality etc. because let's be honest every single person can say that.

 

I am 6'2 (187 cm) blonde person, and I would like to be someone who is also blonde. The height is not important as long as it is not extremely high or low.

I am into sports, and it would be great if she is too.

Lastly, Someone who DEFINATELY wıll not remind me my sister. 

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It's a bit of a read, but here's my 'list':

 

(Notes below)

 

  1. Devotion
    • Holds the Bible as the ultimate authority in her life
    • Has an active relationship with God
    • Believes in the biblical standard of wifely submission/being a helpmeet
  2. Chastity
    • Virgin - believes that sex is only for marriage
    • Carries herself modestly
  3. Family-minded
    • Wants to have children
    • Has an interest in building a home that is a Christ-centered environment
    • Willing to put her family over her career if necessary
  4. Femininity
    • Carries herself with a gentle, quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:4)
    • Pleasant to be around
    • Respect - uses words to build up rather than tear down
    • Willing to allow me to lead
  5. Attractiveness
    • Someone that I'm physically attracted to
    • Cares about her health/appearance and is willing to maintain that (won't "let themselves go")
  6. Stewardship
    • Responsible with her finances
    • Willing to help take care of a home
    • Has a desire to serve/give

NOTES:

  • I don't hold my prospective spouse to any standard that I wouldn't maintain myself
  • Specifics for each number:
    1. As a practicing disciple of Christ, my relationship with God comes first, and she would have to be on the same page regarding this. As a husband, I will be submitted to God and will be responsible for leading my family, so she will have to have a biblical view when it comes to the family unit.
    2. As a virgin myself, I'd prefer to marry someone with the same level of experience (or lack of lol). I'm fully aware that past partners can bring certain complications to a marriage (comparisons, expectations, trust issues, potential STDs, baby daddy drama, divorce rate, etc.), and I'd rather avoid that and start on a clean slate for both of us regarding sex.
    3. I would like to be a father down the line, and a potential wife would have to be on board with this.
    4. There are certain attitudes that are very unattractive on women. I would like someone who is generally pleasant to be around, and isn't constantly tearing others down and/or complaining.
    5. Physical attraction isn't everything, but it is important. Obviously she doesn't have to be a supermodel, but she should at least care about her health and be willing to exercise. Health/nutrition is important to me so I'd like to be on the same page in this area.
    6. Responsibility, especially in the area of finances, is a big deal. Taking care of the money she has and not squandering it (and racking up unnecessary debt in the process) shows character. Likewise, it's also important have a giving heart with the resources that God has blessed us with.

 

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I also want to add: the ability to carry on a conversation!!!!

 

I can't tell you how FRUSTRATING it is to show interest by asking her questions about herself, and she simply responds to the questions, without elaborating, or returning any questions.

 

I like conversation to be like ping-pong - back-and-forth, serve and receive - rather than darts - hit the target, do it again.

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I also want to add: the ability to carry on a conversation!!!!

 

I can't tell you how FRUSTRATING it is to show interest by asking her questions about herself, and she simply responds to the questions, without elaborating, or returning any questions.

 

I like conversation to be like ping-pong - back-and-forth, serve and receive - rather than darts - hit the target, do it again.

 

I'm sure you do just fine for yourself already, man.

 

A girl who just simply responds without elaboration is either not interested in talking in general or she is the one that needs to learn how to carry a conversation.

 

You're already doing your part. The other person needs to do theirs.

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I think its kinda hard to say what I want in a girl because as long as our personalities click then im happy. So if shes shy then im fine same if shes out going. I think what matters to me is we need to be able to have things in common we can do together and that when were together things are easy. Not awkward. Physical attractiveness is hard to say because im not really attracted to someone until I get to know them and really understand how they work and think. I like all hair colors and bust/butt sizes so long as it fits the rest of the body. Even being on the smaller side for either is just fine for me. Though I do want her to be healthy, doesn't mean ill be counting every pound but I try to stay fit and I want someone who will want to work out with me when I do and also have splurge days with me too. I guess im a pretty weird guy but hopefully not to strange to be loved lol.

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A very interesting and good question! I would expect her to be compassionate (preferably a vegetarian or vegan or... someone who is supportive of it), at least as sensitive as I am, a love of nature and less obsessed with consumerism and material goods. I would not mind of anything happening out of her control like disability. I want to love for who she is and be loved for who I am. If she is from somewhere outside, she should be interested to embrace a part of our culture (I love learning about cultures!) where (arguably) the vegetarianism / veganism originated (Jainism) during pre-Aryan times in India and influenced many Hindu and Buddhist scholars. Should not hate having kids, and, should be willing to adopt at least one orphan later :) . These are the things I consider important in her, apart from her being a virgin.

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This is a simple, timeless, awesome question.

I want to be with someone who is compassionate. If she's not already vegan, that's fine, but knowing that she is interested in adopting that lifestyle is wonderful. I don't think one can be compassionate AND condone needless killing or exploitation, so that's a really important marker of compassion. I want to share some of the BIG values with her - no to animal exploitation, no to nontherapeutic abortion, yes to gay marriage rights... Outside of those, I think I could deal with differences. I want to know she cares about lives other than her own and those of her loved ones.

I want to be with someone who is kind. I'm a real softie, trying to always be the "nice guy". My best friends compares me to Superman - the uptight do-gooder. I don't need her to be exactly the same as I am in that sense - my "niceness" is a defining quality of mine, but need not be for her. I simply want to know she'll be a good mother. I want to know that she'll treat people with consideration. I want to know that, when I'm spending time with someone with an "intellectual disability", she'll interact with them in a genuinely sweet way. So, while I don't need someone who's as intense about it as I am, I want to be happy that my girlfriend loves all kinds of individuals, and will treat our child(ren) with respect, regardless of how they might be born.

I want to be with someone who is engaging intellectually. When I'm discussing a new theory I'm devising, or sharing something I've learned, or if she does the same with me, I want to be able to have discussions about these things. It's nice to talk with a girl who can respond with more than "Uh-huh."

I want to be with someone who is spiritual. How? Not sure. I don't think it matters too much what her religion is. I'm a theist, but without definition, so I'm not picky there.

I want to be with someone who is open-minded and creative. I'm a big superhero nerd, so I'd like being able to watch superhero or sci-fi movies with her. But it's not a big deal. I'd more like to share art - theatre, music, painting, poetry, etc. I want to converse with a mind that is hungry for new insight.

I want to be with someone who is outgoing. Why? Because I'm not. I love to be with someone who can take me out into the world, show me things I never imaged. I want someone who can keep a conversation going with my parents. I tend to admire extroverted women to balance out my introversion.

In a nutshell...

I'm looking for a partner to explore the world for all its beauty, and work to make this world better for its current and future inhabitants. I want to change the world, and if I can do that with her by my side, all the better.

Wow, brother, you are just like me!

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Wow, brother, you are just like me!

I realized that! Jainism, from what I know, is a beautiful faith. :) And if it encourages veganism in any way, it's got to be amazing.

There are actually a few other vegans on here - spirit2change and CarolineWaits are two I know. Those two values seem to perhaps be interconnected, especially if you're waiting out of the interest of the other person. Since that's exactly what veganism is - putting the needs of others before the wants of yourself.

 

Welcome to the site! Look forward to discussing these things more with you! :D

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I realized that! Jainism, from what I know, is a beautiful faith. :) And if it encourages veganism in any way, it's got to be amazing.

There are actually a few other vegans on here - spirit2change and CarolineWaits are two I know. Those two values seem to perhaps be interconnected, especially if you're waiting out of the interest of the other person. Since that's exactly what veganism is - putting the needs of others before the wants of yourself.

Welcome to the site! Look forward to discussing these things more with you! :D

I am PMing you! :D

Our culture is from what people commonly call Dravidian culture - and Jainism, so far, is the closest religion to me - it does not refer to god, yet, tells about the inherent beauty of sentience and life. This is dated somewhere 3000 years ago, at least.

One of our pieces of literature after maturity of our literature - http://www.gokulnath.com/thirukurals/26

As that one is translated, the seven-word and the beauty of prununciation gets lost. It was written about 2000 years ago (at the worse case at least 1500 years old)

...Scholars speculate that the doctrine of ahiṃsÄ was probably first developed amongst the native non-Aryan people in around 3rd millennium BCE and was adopted by the brahamanas during the later Upanishadic period under the influence of sramanas. The Vedas, the manusmriti, the Dharmasutra and Mahabharata contain many references on killing and slaughter of animals for sacrifices, oblations to dead ancestors, and as well as for various other occasions. However, as the doctrine of karma gained acceptance in the Hindu belief, the tenet of ahiṃsÄ also gained prominence....

Source: Wikipedia. I know Wikipedia is bad for this as a source but I can confirm it as well, as we have books laying around here :)
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I also want to add: the ability to carry on a conversation!!!!

 

I can't tell you how FRUSTRATING it is to show interest by asking her questions about herself, and she simply responds to the questions, without elaborating, or returning any questions.

 

I like conversation to be like ping-pong - back-and-forth, serve and receive - rather than darts - hit the target, do it again.

^^This.  Talking to a woman (or a person in general) who has the conversation skills of a brick wall is an instant turn-off.  If they're shy, it's understandable, and most shy people have a lot to say anyway, but in other people it's no excuse (especially extroverts).  I'm a shy extrovert, so people often bring me out of my shell before I do on my own, but I'm happy to do the same for an introvert and/or another shy person -- if they're willing to respond.

As for what qualities I'm looking for in a woman, they're pretty much the same as Paul's: kind, intelligent, spiritual (in my case, Christian), open-minded/eager to try new things, and creative.  I used to think I needed a really outgoing woman, but I've gotten along well with quieter women, too, and ultimately I think I need someone who's calmer than I am.  :D

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Willing to go on date after seeing my face. So probably blind. I'm kidding, sorry if I offend blind people and/or my face. (Face: No, I will never forgive!!) Am sarry.. T^T

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I also want to add: the ability to carry on a conversation!!!!

 

I can't tell you how FRUSTRATING it is to show interest by asking her questions about herself, and she simply responds to the questions, without elaborating, or returning any questions.

 

I like conversation to be like ping-pong - back-and-forth, serve and receive - rather than darts - hit the target, do it again.

Be careful what you wish for my friend. HAHAHA

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^^This. Talking to a woman (or a person in general) who has the conversation skills of a brick wall is an instant turn-off. If they're shy, it's understandable, and most shy people have a lot to say anyway, but in other people it's no excuse (especially extroverts). I'm a shy extrovert, so people often bring me out of my shell before I do on my own, but I'm happy to do the same for an introvert and/or another shy person -- if they're willing to respond.

As for what qualities I'm looking for in a woman, they're pretty much the same as Paul's: kind, intelligent, spiritual (in my case, Christian), open-minded/eager to try new things, and creative. I used to think I needed a really outgoing woman, but I've gotten along well with quieter women, too, and ultimately I think I need someone who's calmer than I am. :D

I would also recommend keeping some of these women around as friends. Sometimes people who have been sexually abused have lost their sense of self to where they don't know what's theirs and what's others and have become so removed from society and are so indifferent about everything. I mean unless it's like SUPER AWFUL but you never know.
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Heh...

I'll keep it simple; although my preferences keep changing (one year I like blondes, another I like red heads etc...)

 

I just want someone I can love more than I love myself.

The love order should be something like this:

 

1. God

2. Wife/Family

3. Me

 

If I can't do that or find someone that understands why they will never be number one.. I don't think I can be happy.

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I would also recommend keeping some of these women around as friends. Sometimes people who have been sexually abused have lost their sense of self to where they don't know what's theirs and what's others and have become so removed from society and are so indifferent about everything. I mean unless it's like SUPER AWFUL but you never know.

I can't say I know many people who are quiet and shy due to sexual abuse, since I barely know anyone who's been sexually abused in the first place...  But you're right, I should keep an open mind and be a friend if I ever meet someone like that.  :)

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Well.... Number one she has to be a woman. You know I'm trying to come up with a joke for this that wouldn't offend some people and I can't seem to... Whelp

2) religous views: atheist, agnostic or wiccan

3) a love of horror and the macabre

4) someone that practices abstinence till marriage.She doesn't have to be a virgin but...

5) she cannot be a complete drama queen.

6) likes anime

7) is very very very weird. Normal is scary. I don't like normal

8) OH AND SHE WEARS BLACK CLOTHES

9) does not listen to country, rap or anything that could go on 107.7

10) Must. Like. Handholding. This is a requirement.

11) Must be willing to take the relationship slow

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