kquest87

Choice Moms

6 posts in this topic

Hey ladies, so I have a question.

As I get older and still single, for me the thought of motherhood comes to my mind. Im 28. I been thinking what if I never meet my husband... what if I don't meet him till Im 40 and lose my chance to be a mom. Is that something I am willing to accept? Granted I am a foster mom and willing to adopt, but that is a lot different than choosing to birth a child out of wedlock knowing I will be a single mom. A friend of mine did it, went to a sperm bank and had a daughter. It got me thinking.... The Back-up Plan. I feel horrible about it at the same time, like I have to resort to buy sperm to have a child because I clearly dont have the means to get a man on my own to settle down with? How badly do I want to hear those words "mommy"?

I told myself, if by age 30 I am still in the same predicament I am now, I'm going for, #team choice mom. I can't see going through life with children, living without a spouse I am, unfortunately use to,but not being a mom is a out. It got me thinking, how do you ladies feel about it? Being a choice mom, using a donor? Id like to know where yall stand.

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28 is still quite young, really, you have time! I do know of a woman who did the choice motherhood thing at around age 30, and it seems to be working out OK for her so far. Surely the fact that she was able to finish her Ph.D and secure a good job put her in a much better position than many women who end up as single mothers unexpectedly. As for how her son feels about it, that remains to be seen, as he is still quite little.

 

I personally would wait until around age 35 to begin considering that as an option. I do -- like you -- feel like I would always live with regret if I were never able to experience pregnancy and giving birth. But being a single mother is really hard even if you can prepare, and it would be especially so for me because I would not have much in the way of familial support. Since I am not really in a position to have to worry about this issue, I haven't totally hashed out my feelings on it. There is also the option of freezing your eggs for use with a future spouse if you do end up getting married around 40-45, though I'm not sure how expensive that is.

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No, I'm not going to raise a child without a father. I really want kids but being part of a family unit is also an important part of that.I strongly feel that having a father figure is vital in a child's life and even though it's an unpopular opinion I think it would be a bit selfish to intentionally bring a child into this life without one.So no. If a family or marriage is not in the stars for me, I'll just go on helping disadvantaged kids which is what I plan on doing anyways (I want to work with orphanages.).

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You can freeze your eggs. I also think you're amazing for being a foster mom. You're still young. I've also seen women get pregnant in the early forties late thirties.

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I've actually seriously looked into egg freezing as an option for me and will have to make a firm decision about it over the next couple of years. The thought of never having my own biological child really frightens me and I see egg freezing as a sort of insurance policy to fall back on if I don't meet the right partner.

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Wow girl, I know how you feel. It's awesome that you're a foster mom. Well, I'm 26 and want kids so badly. My current bf wants to get married and have kids, too, and I'm thinking, why not just marry him and have kids? IT's better than never starting my own family. It's better than passing him up and hoping something closer to my dream guy comes around, but then ending up SINGLE and childless. I want to be a mother, but only if I can have a husband and father for my children. I refuse to be a single mother. Raising a child is just too hard.

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