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struggling

still waiting...update

6 posts in this topic

I haven't been on this site for a while and I've shared my thoughts on here before but to be honest  I don't know what to really think anymore.


 


I'm still waiting.   I'm trying to meet someone but it's just not that easy.  I did not think I would have to wait this long.  Every night before I sleep this is what lingers in my mind. If and when will it happen.


 


There is a part of me that is slowly giving up even though deep down I know I can't because of the natural desire that I have for someone in my life, not just to finally lose my virginity to but someone to share my life with.  The dilemma which I've faced for years now continues - to simply lose it to just anyone so that I've finally done it or to continue to wait.  I've obviously chosen the second option but not out of choice.


 


1 Cor 7:8-9 - "I do tell the unmarried and the widows that singleness might be the best thing for them, as it has been for me. But if they can't manage their desires and emotions, they should by all means go ahead and get married.  The difficulties of marriage are preferable by far to a sexually tortured life as a single." 


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I was going to write a lot more, but I'm going to boil it down... I have been exactly where you are, at just about the same age... 28-32. I'm 35 now and, even though it's still difficult, I'm doing better, and more convicted. Who knows, maybe you'll be luckier than me, and you'll find someone soon... no matter what, be true to yourself, and pray about any decision you make (if you are a Christian, which I'm guessing from part of your post). If you need to talk, please feel free to pm me. I have been there, and I'll chat if you need. I'm not sure if I can help, but you never know.

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I'm surprised you haven't met someone yet because I've seen a good amount waiters around that age group. Maybe you just need to change the way you're looking or tweak a few things about yourself. Are you on dating sites including OkCupid, ChristianMingle and Plenty of Fish? What city are you in? Geography matters too.

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Are you willing to date non-virgins? Maybe expand your horizons. It is hard out there; I am 26 and just met a really decent and awesome man. He may become my husband. He is very marriage-minded. He is brilliant. He is successful. He is extremely sweet. However, he is older. I wasn't even interested in him when we met, b/c he is older. Now we are planning our future together. Don't give up....there's hope.

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I'm worried about how much this affecting you. You're constantly thinking about it, you're having trouble sleeping, you're even having a hard time working a job. I'm concerned that this might turn into a negative spiral, continuing to make things worse for you if something doesn't change.

 

Another way to put it: if the right person were to walk up to you tomorrow, someone who is marriage material and would be the person who you would share your life with and end your time waiting, would you be too depressed to see them?

 

Definitely talk to some of the folks on here who have been through what you are going through. You're not alone in your struggles. Also, have you ever thought about talking with a spiritual leader or a counselor about this? When I felt like my life was falling apart in much the same way (constant thoughts, trouble sleeping, hard to work or even get out of bed), they really helped me to get my life back to a better place. Perhaps they could do the same for you?

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Yeah don't give up, we both have the same age if that can encourage you. I am struggling with this "waiting for my husband" business. But I know for sure the best decision to take is to continue waiting. I don't know for you but now I am talking to everyone about my (future) husband as if we are already together because I have faith in God, my husband is on his way.

Take good courage, we are all on this site, with you, you're not alone.

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