Queen

The Apple Tree

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"Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree."

 

 

 

What do you think of this quote?  How do you interpret it to your life?

 

 

 

This is my interpretation:

 

Any gal can choose to be at the top or the bottom of the tree.  But if you see your crush choosing someone at the bottom, then he just wasn't meant for you!  You define your value, not them.  I think friendly waiters tend to do a good job at staying at the top. 

 

The quote reminds me of pornography as well.  Porn stars are apples that have fallen off the tree.  But men go back to them time after time.  They are so easy and so alluring, men don't even look up.  But its their own spirit that is harmed in the process.  They put rotten stuff in their body when it is not good for them.  But the apples at the top are too "prude", "too far away".  When in actuality, they are the most good for them.

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So by apple tree logic, stalkers are the most "worthy" of good apples because they'll go to exorbitant lengths to woo a woman? Also, is it just me or does labeling people as "rotten apples" rather judgmental?

 

And if I'm gonna be an apple, at least give me two things: the word "no" and the ability to push guys off the tree if they keep harassing me.

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Also, is it just me or does labeling people as "rotten apples" rather judgmental?

 

I'm especially uncomfortable with the judgement because in this metaphor it is applied only to women, who have the power to make a man 'sick' or 'healthy' based only on how they choose to express their sexuality. In this quote the men have all the agency while women are reduced to literal inanimate objects whose only worth is how 'unspoiled' they are.

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I can't unlike stuff? Then again I can't quote or copy and paste, never should get surprised by my computer!!

 

Anyway I don't like this metaphor. I'm really not a big apple fan. If however, we used steak...

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So by apple tree logic, stalkers are the most "worthy" of good apples because they'll go to exorbitant lengths to woo a woman? Also, is it just me or does labeling people as "rotten apples" rather judgmental?

 

And if I'm gonna be an apple, at least give me two things: the word "no" and the ability to push guys off the tree if they keep harassing me.

 

You may be reading too much into this. I don't think the original creator of this supposedly feel-good proverb intended to say that stalkers are most worthy. I think it goes without saying that stalkerish behavior is not okay. I just think it's a well intentioned saying that reflects the common insecurities of girls with good character when they don't receive as much attention from guys as much as "easy" or manipulative girls.

 

Also, there is nothing with being judgmental. You were being judgmental by calling out Stacie's opinion and also by saying you would push any guys off a tree who is harassing you. Judging has nothing to do with being self-righteous or being holier than thou. It simply means discerning right from wrong. We make those judgments every day and it is necessary for anyone who has an even remote moral center. Sometimes we take the whole "don't judge" thing too far because people just don't want to be held accountable for their actions.

 

I do not see anything wrong with labeling certain people as "rotten apples" because the truth is some people are rotten. Now I agree that people shouldn't be called "rotten" for how they choose to use their sexuality. In the context of this proverb, that could be interpreted as a girl who is emotionally manipulative, cheats or lies. That can go for guys who toy with girls emotions too. Either way it is wrong and no amount of sugar coating is going to take away the fact that these people are undesirable to those who strive for good character.

 

So I would disagree with Stacie's interpretation in saying that porn stars are inherently rotten unless if she is referring to their individual character. I honestly don't know what her intention was. But I do agree with the idea that girls (and people in general) who guard their hearts and are looking for a honoring and respectful guy will have to be more picky.

 

Anyway I don't like this metaphor. I'm really not a big apple fan. If however, we used steak...

 

ARE YOU SUGGESTING THAT WOMEN ARE PIECES OF MEAT?!?! :o :o :o

 

Yes? Good, I just wanted to make sure we're on the same page :P

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You may be reading too much into this. I don't think the original creator of this supposedly feel-good proverb intended to say that stalkers are most worthy. I think it goes without saying that stalkerish behavior is not okay. I just think it's a well intentioned saying that reflects the common insecurities of girls with good character when they don't receive as much attention from guys as much as "easy" or manipulative girls

 

Also, there is nothing with being judgmental. You were being judgmental by calling out Stacie's opinion and also by saying you would push any guys off a tree who is harassing you. Judging has nothing to do with being self-righteous or being holier than thou. It simply means discerning right from wrong. We make those judgments every day and it is necessary for anyone who has an even remote moral center. Sometimes we take the whole "don't judge" thing too far because people just don't want to be held accountable for their actions.

 

Am I really being judgmental if I want to defend myself when I'm reduced to the state of a fruit?

 

(And even as a human I think I'm entitled to reject men I don't want coming after me and saying "no".)

 

I honestly don't think I'm reading too much into this when I say this is basically a "if you work hard enough you'll get the girl" morality tale. That stuff is toxic, and spawns things like men complaining about the "friendzone" and girls with horror stories of male acquaintances that hang around for weeks or even years only because they think that if they put out enough effort, she'll come around and reciprocate their feelings.

 

And yes, there's people who are outright abusive who are aptly labeled as "rotten apples", but calling people "rotten" or anything derogatory because of choices they made about their sex life seriously pisses me off.

 

I hate it.

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Am I really being judgmental if I want to defend myself when I'm reduced to the state of a fruit?

 

Yes you are and it is good for you to be judgmental, especially in that case. You're making a moral judgment that someone who is trying to violate you is wrong and they need to be stopped. Being judgmental isn't this evil thing we make it out to be. It's part of how we survive as a species.

 

 

I honestly don't think I'm reading too much into this when I say this is basically a "if you work hard enough you'll get the girl" morality tale. That stuff is toxic, and spawns things like men complaining about the "friendzone" and girls with horror stories of male acquaintances that hang around for weeks or even years only because they think that if they put out enough effort, she'll come around and reciprocate their feelings.

 

I don't know if you're just projecting your own bad experiences and if that is the case then I'm sorry. But there is no suggestion to what you're saying at all. In fact, quite the opposite:

 

"Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree."

 

 

Now what would constitute as "the right boy?" It not going to be a stalkerish creep who feels he's entitled to a girl just because he's persistent, is it? No, it's going to be a good guy who honors and respects her whom she is actually interested in. If not, he wouldn't be the right guy. It also goes on to talk about the one who is brave enough to reach her at the top. It's in contrast to what was said earlier about guys who don't want to reach the top out of fear of getting hurt. There is no suggestion of stalkers or unhealthy persistence. It just means he's willing to put in the time and effort to get to know her first and possibly risk rejection because she is worth it.

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What do you think of this quote?  How do you interpret it to your life?

 

Although I'm not sure I can apply it to my life, I think the core of the quote is solid. Only in as far as that it seems to be just a basic one-sided outlook. As in, it's best to wait for someone who is willing to do the work to show you that you are worth it, and that you are important to them. However that goes both ways. What I think, as far as what it's saying for men and women separately is this... Women should want a man who is willing to climb the tree, in other words take a risk for her. However, the premise makes it sound like men are too afraid of taking that risk and, while I'm sure it's not an easy thing to do and there may be men who do act the way this analogy portrays them, I think the men who are looking for quality women will be more than willing to take that risk. I'm surprised it doesn't say anything about women, aside from seemingly being offended by not being chosen.

 

I will add this. I looked up and read a little about apple trees. :) Apples ripen from the outside to the core of the tree... so, even at the top, the picker must know when an apple is ready to be chosen. Has to take into account it's many characteristics. Maybe that's the hard part? Knowing how to tell if the woman that the man thinks looks right for him is ready to be chosen? Or, vice versa, if the woman likes to be the pursuer? Just a thought.

 

That's just the way I interpret it.

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The fruit and the level of varying heights represents personal standards.  A man who picks from the top or that uses thinking skills to be able to reach a high, ripe, fresh apple also represents standards and the ability to see what is healthy for an apple and what is healthy for him to consume.  Rotten fruit results in destructive choices, consequent character, and affected well-being and can be applied to the apples and to the people who choose to eat them.  That's the basis of the quote. 

 

And to be clear, part of my personal value system is considering porn stars, strippers, etc as immoral and resultant choices are harmful to one's well-being (as studies also suggest).  If we disagree on this fundamental value, then I can understand the differences in opinion on whether this quote should be offensive or not.

 

If a person decides they like the apples that are fallen, easy to find, over-ripen, with worm holes (condition of fruit represents character) then that's okay.  But that kind of picker might not be the best match for the apple at the top that requires an apple picker who takes care to find a good apple-picking device to reach the top.  More effort, more time, less instant gratification, yet wholesome and nutritious. 

 

 

An apple that has fallen to the ground and rotten has the opportunity to decay into the earth and grow in a new apple tree, stronger than ever. And healthy apple trees grow new apples every year too so there are always renewed opportunities to make different choices, to develop life skills (apple-picking device), to refine one's character. 

 

It's just a fictionalized metaphor in the end.  Apples on the ground are not even necessarily rotten.  And climbing an apple tree is not even a good way to reach the apples, because apple trees are not always strong enough the higher you go to support a person as well as apples being on branches and out of the reach to the climber.  So an apple that is high up on a tree has a natural protection of being out of reach from the zealous, harassers.  Not to say a person cannot hurt you when you are higher.  Just some reduced chances but not zero chance.

 

In my own interpretation of the quote, a guy who will "harass" you at the top of the tree, never would have made it up there in the first place.  Because it takes character, goodwill, smarts, and care to reach the top.  And, in my fairy tale imagination, life itself will weed out the bad ones naturally such as making it too hard to get to the top. When us women have standards, that's how we can affect the choices a man makes and the direction our lives go.

 

Now I'm all appled out.  Peace.

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I'll just leave it as a fundamental difference between people who see this as a beautiful metaphor and me looking at it and thinking "Why is the man a functional human being and I'm a fucking apple".

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I like this quote a lot. Girls with standards are at the top of the tree.

 

But I don't wish to judge other girls who have had sex outside of marriage. I go to a secular college and I know some girls don't have the same values, but that doesn't make them any less worthy. I was talking about dating with a non waiter and it's not like she just gives in for every guy. She wants to be treated nicely and have some respect. If it works for her then great. Sometimes you have to learn to agree to disagree. She made that choice for herself and I made my choice for myself.

 

Yet from experience it is true that some apples at the top of the tree feel there is something wrong with them. Sometimes we want the attention of guys that fall for easier girls. We see the good in them, but blind side ourselves from the bad in them. Finally, we as girls have to compare what we have to what we want and know we deserve. It's hard letting go but something better is coming.

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"Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree."

 

I don't see it as the boys being 'afraid of falling and getting hurt'. It's more like, 'the boys are uncontrollably hungry and are willing to eat the first apple that makes itself available instead of waiting for the best one. In fact, the boys are perfectly content going through several apples lying on the ground because hey, it's still food, right? Once he's had his fill of lesser-quality apples, he'll go for one of the ones at the top later."

 

^It's a little harsh, but a lot closer to reality, unfortunately.

 

I honestly don't think I'm reading too much into this when I say this is basically a "if you work hard enough you'll get the girl" morality tale. That stuff is toxic, and spawns things like men complaining about the "friendzone" and girls with horror stories of male acquaintances that hang around for weeks or even years only because they think that if they put out enough effort, she'll come around and reciprocate their feelings.

 

Even though I disagree with the other parts of your post, this right here is spot-on.

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But I don't wish to judge other girls who have had sex outside of marriage.

 

This quote isn't really about premarital sex or waiting (from my interpretation).  But it might indicate how sacred someone views sex itself.  The apples at the top are not necessarily virgins. Virginity does not define someone's character.  A man, for example, can be a real jerk but still a virgin. 

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With this interpretation given, i would say that i am definitely an apple at the top of the tree. This helps in selfconfidence & reminds me that there is nothing wrong with me or my situation, it's just that there is only one person in the whole world that deserves me & able to conquer my heart.

God bless u

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@Buster Cannon-There was something I thought was inaccurate abou the quote and I couldn't vocalize it, but you nailed it. It is definitely true that guys just want a ton of "apples."

Anyway, first off I'll start by saying I understand the offensiveness of women being labeled apples while guys get to be humans. Intentional or not, it does imply that women aren't able to go out and find a partner. They're just supposed to sit around and choose if the guy pursuing is good enough. But, I'm still going to set this aside for a moment while I analyze the other aspects of this quote.

The quote does come off as being too "feel good" in nature. It is probably trying to make women who don't get asked out feel better by saying it's just that they're so great and that's why guys aren't asking them out. I'm not sure on how many levels that really makes sense. For instance, I've never heard of a guy not asking a girl out because she's too nice. Nor do I think dating someone who is nice necessarily takes more effort (like getting a "good apple" is supposed to). It's hard to figure out exactly where this quote is coming from regarding what makes a "good apple," what makes a "bad apple" and what constitutes trying really hard to get a girl.

I think the safest assumption is that this quote has to do with values, which I think inevitably does tie into sexual behavior. I think it's saying that guys aren't asking out "good apples" because they have "high morals" and it would take work for a guy to change his morals. I think this also implies that some guys just want to have sex on the first date, which is what a "rotten apple" would do. The "good apple" doesn't put out right away and doesn't get as many dates. Even setting aside whether it's a fair judgment to critique people in such a way, I think this is another place where the quote falls a little short. Sharing the same morals isn't necessarily the product of the guy trying harder, but more just that they have similar morals so they're a good match.

I think another problem is that it assumes some women will date any guy because they're rotten. I think many women who will date anyone do so more out of insecurity than being rotten people. Conversely, many women who make a man work to ge them are rotten people. For instance, they make the guy pursue that higher and higher paying job and expect him to work more and more hours so that she can have nicer and nicer things and she can ultimately get a bigger divorce settlement. That woman's financial standards make her hard to get, but she's rotten if she's using a guy only for his money and doesn't care about him or his happiness at all. (By the way, wanting your guy to make a lot of money isn't necessarily indicative of being a bad person. This is just an example.) This scenario runs contrary to the quote, since this woman is a rotten person, but also hard to get because of her financial expectations.

Lastly, I think such a sentiment can stifle self-improvement. It implies that the only reason you're not getting interest from guys is because you're too good for most of them. The thing is, that might not be the case. Maybe you have a terrible personality and that's why guys don't want you.

Just to try and sum up, I think there are too many holes in this quote. Being a quality woman doesn't necessarily mean you're hard to get and being hard to get doesn't necessarily mean you're a quality woman. I think the truth lies more in the fact that if you have certain morals that are hard to find (regardless of if they're correct morals or not) your pool of guys is going to be smaller. This isn't necessarily going to translate into guys trying harder, but it might. So, okay. The feel good aspect of this quote isn't necessarily the worst thing in the world, but I think it's just too simplistic of a quote (which ties into the whole turning women into apples and judging people without giving a clear answer regarding what being "good" and what being "rotten" is, but I set those concerns aside).

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