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Guest JDmantel

'Clingy' negative connotations for women.

7 posts in this topic

It seems to be a recurring worry for a lot of women, particularly with guys moving on with the cliché 'she's too clingy'. I myself would want a 'clingy' girl! If you fall in love then that person will be a source of joy and contentment. So is it a natural state of mind for people who have waited or are some of you the type that need plenty of personal space?? I think that's crucial in a relationship, how much time you want to spend together. Just wondering, how many want intensity and how many just need that occasional type of love?

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I personally cannot abide clingy-ness.  I have been in a relationship before where the guy was clingy and it nearly drove me mad.  He would text me every five minutes (not even exaggerating) and would get annoyed if I didn't immediately respond to the texts even if he knew I was busy at work.  He also expected us to spend all of our free time together and would be put out if I had prior arrangements to meet up with my friends.  It all got too much in the end and we had to call things a day.

 

It sounds like a great thing on paper, for someone to be so enamoured that they want to spend ALL their time with you but in reality it gets stifling and just plain annoying very fast.  The main issue I have with it is that I am a typical introvert and need to have alone time to get my head together and recharge, and being in a relationship with someone clingy is just not conducive to that.  

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No I wouldn't want the clingy type because I would like a well rounded person. I want to be with someone with other passions and hobbies and his own friends; a person who has a life outside of us not to be at the centre of someone's borderline obsession. I've met a couple of such guys and it's all sweet at first until they lose their temper because you didn't answer their frequent texts or calls fast enough. Those kind of people have loads of issues  imo and I usually steer clear of such people.

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Oh I didn't mean obsessive 'where are you going/what are you doing?' I just meant choosing a night in with your boyfriend over a night out with friends, not 'here's a good idea, we could superglue our hands together'!! (there is a film in which a man and woman get super glued at the hands). Think it had Jeff Bridges. Texting every 5 minutes sounds terrible, that's not clingy, there's another word for that! Personally I'd prefer a needy girl to an aloof one but that's just me. And not clingy as you two described it!

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I'm a mix of touchy love time and needing personal space. So a nice balance of that would be great.

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Yeah, I'm with sameye. I like what you would call clingy-ness, wanting to be together all the time, touchy love, etc, but I also like alone time too. 

 

I like personal space, but I also want my man to feel loved (and I really miss him when he's away), so I do my best to find a balance!

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i used to be this "let me roam free, don't tie me down" type and i would always steer clear of clingy men but recently that's changed.

 i dunno if it's because I'm getting older and developing some nurturing feelings towards men in general but I'm getting more and more okay(?) with clingy men. in fact upon some reflection, i was like "wait a minute tho I'd rather have this guy obsessing over me than some other ho".

and just like that  i started seeing the whole situation differently.

 

so it's fine as long as he's not clingy to a point where he's immobilizing me and cramping my style.

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