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Changing nature of attraction?

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I am 18, and am already attracted to very few people overall. Does this get better or worse as you age? I don't want to get to be 30 and discover I don't want to date anyone anymore.

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For me, it got better. My personal taste in physical attraction has broadened, if only slightly, since I was young. There was a time when I was attracted to ONLY tall skinny/slender guys with dark hair/eyes. Now, even though that's still the main look I like, it does vary greatly to other areas. Not to mention that, as I've gotten older, personality plays A LOT more into attraction for me. A good personality can have a drastic affect on how I percieve a person. :) I hope this helps.

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And you don't worry about your pool constantly shrinking as more and more people become dirty?

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Well, let me start out by saying that I apologize... I didn't realize that this was in the MARRIED waiters section, and I'm not married.

 

To answer your question, though. I worry more about guys not wanting to be with someone who wants to wait until marriage. I think it's a matter of perception. I'm not sure I understand by 'people become dirty'... do you mean by them having had sex already? If that is the case, it really does depend on your view of things. I don't think that a person's history should be held against them, because people change. If I meet a guy and he tells me he is not a virgin, but that he has decided to wait until marriage, I'll give him the same chance as I would a guy who is a virgin. If we meet, and he finds out that I'm waiting, but he is not, I might talk with him, but I'd have to become friends with him and see how it goes. I don't know if I'd take it further than friendship, or not. Actually that is something that has changed in me, since finding this site. There was a time when I would give a guy a chance if he was willing to wait with/for me, even if he wasn't waiting before. Now, I'm not sure about that. I am starting to feel that it should be a decision that they make for themselves, not for me. However, there are some virgin men that would never give me the time of day, because I've been raped... therefore, I am not BY DEFINITION (and yes, I do think the definition needs altered) a virgin.

 

So, really, what I think I'm getting at, is that you may be dwelling too much on how you think you might feel in 10 or 20 years. You might be a totally different person by that time. Also, remember that life rarely goes as we plan it, and if we aren't able to adjust a little along the way and open our mind up, then we get stuck. I'm not saying give up on love, or give up on saving sex, not at all. You have to be true to yourself.

 

However, and this is coming from someone who thought she would never change her mind about anything, life is not always fair and the ONLY thing you CAN count on is that things will change. I can't even tell you how much I have changed. Aside from waiting and my faith (which both have went through some tough times) I am so very different from the person I use to be. I'm just starting to find that girl, again, but I don't want to be her again completely. I want to take part of her and combine her with who she has become. I've been lucky to find this site. I've made a couple of friends who are helping me to learn even more about who I am. One of them probably doesn't even realize that the way they see me has a huge impact on helping me to find who I once was, and it's something I needed help with. God must have know this person would be the best person for the job.

 

That being said, and a little off topic... It's ok to think about these things, even to worry about them, but try not to dwell too much on them. I am a firm believer that you can take any experience, any advice, anything at all, and take from it what you need to make yourself a better person. You do have that ability. Sure it's harder for some people, but it can be done. It won't happen over night, and it does take a lot of energy and a lot of work, but it is possible. I'm not sure how else to help you, to be honest.

 

You're at an age, now, when most things in life seem overwhelming. When you're going to question yourself the most. You're suppose to. Most people don't figure out who they really are deep down when they are young. So, remember that it's ok if you're still searching for answers. Most of us are, for most of our lives.

 

Since I am not sure any of that made much sense, let alone was actually on topic, I'm going to stop now. Hoping that it sounds better than I think it does.

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I found very few people attractive from my early 20s and on, and it really hasn't changed. It's not that I think everyone is gross (though occasionally that is the case ðŸ˜), but there are just very few people who catch my attention in "that way", and i am perfectly fine with that.

I can understand when you're single it can be pretty discouraging, especially when the only people who become interested in you, you just can't feel that way about. Dont worry about getting to the point where you have no interest in anyone, I don't think it works like that.

However if your reason for losing interest in people is because you perceive them to be more dirty as time goes on, then maybe on that basis you could lose interest in all or most people. You're still pretty young though, your views on it might change.

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However, there are some virgin men that would never give me the time of day, because I've been raped... therefore, I am not BY DEFINITION (and yes, I do think the definition needs altered) a virgin.

I am so sorry that happened. :(

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It just depends on your environments and the individuals surrounding you. Sometimes it's abundant with people you find attractive and/or suited for you, sometimes you can't find one person who suits your style. I've found the latter is more common xD at some points, there was no-one attractive around me, but then I met more people, some online, and they were awesome. Did I not have health troubles those times, I'd probably have tried to get to know one or two of them better.

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