Boots

Single Life

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How many of you guys/girls been single your whole life? Yeah I know it sucks sometimes. But at other times I feel like its the only life I know, and its not that bad. But I also dont want to be old and lonely either

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I'm not sure if it counts. I've had 2 BFs. One when I was 13. I'm really not sure how long that one lasted, maybe 6 months (we were friends, and had a mutual best friend). One when I was 16. That one didn't last long. He started using phrases like 'You know you want to'. So, maybe 6 weeks, or a couple of months? I've had a little experience other than that, and a date here and there, but nothing serious or ongoing. So, yeah, I've been single most/all of my life. I'm in my mid 30s, now, and I'm pretty use to it. It would be nice to find that person, but I'm not really expecting to. Hoping, but not expecting. I feel lonley at times, but that is a part of life (I think), but most of the time I find companionship in my family and friends (and a couple of those friends are people I've never met in person).

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I've had one boyfriend, my senior year of highschool, and that last maybe not even a month. I have talked to guys but nothing really official since the first one. For right now, I'm enjoying my single life.

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I've been single my entire 26 years of life. It's difficult sometimes and great sometimes. I'd rather it be this way than have my heart passed around by guys who don't really care about it. I'm very careful and I take all relationships seriously.

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I've been single my whole life (24). Wasn't so much for a lack of opportunity, instead I had other priorities that made put dating lower on my radar. In high school I didn't see the point of getting into a relationship.  You still have to go through college, you're nowhere close to marriage or a steady job, so why bother.  In college, I went to school out of state in an area that I had no intention of living in, plus I still hadn't started my career yet, so I can't provide for myself, let alone try to support another person.

 

The thing is, I have absolutely no regrets taking the path that I have.  I believe that relationships should be intentional; the idea of dating for the sake of 'practice' doesn't sit well with me.  It feels pretty good not having any past heartbreaks at this point, and since I'm older and have a sharper sense of who I am and what I want, I won't have to fumble around trying to figure that out.

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I've been single my whole life. I went on a couple of first dates before, and we had fun but I didn't like meeting with someone I haven't known for long xD strange as it sounds, I want to date someone I already know a little and get on well with. Is that weird?

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I really dont think anyone actually wants to be single, For those who do, I think there could be a deeper reason why. Im no psychologist  and not judging anyone. Im sure that we kinda feel the same pain one way or another

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Been single my whole life. Depending on the day, that fact can manifest in two extremes. On some days, dealing with the loneliness can be managable since I have never known anything different. You can't miss what you've never had. I've always been single so I have nothing to compare it to. On other days, that fact can cast a lot of doubt and hopelessness for the same reasons. Since it has never happened to me, I started to wonder why it hasn't happened or if it will ever happen. I think it is common for life-long single people to view relationships through rose tinted lens (or whatever that expression is for an overly idealistic ideal). We know that relationships are supposed to be great and fill with happiness but we never gone through breakups or the hardships that come with it. So we sometimes don't think of the bad that comes with the good.

 

 

I believe that relationships should be intentional; the idea of dating for the sake of 'practice' doesn't sit well with me.  

 

I completely agree. It's the same mentality as practicing sex in relationships you're not serious about to build up skill so that you'll be great in bed for your future spouse. Either way, you're using people and that is evil. Nobody should be made to feel like they were just a means to an end or a notch on someone else's belt.

 

I've been single my whole life. I went on a couple of first dates before, and we had fun but I didn't like meeting with someone I haven't known for long xD strange as it sounds, I want to date someone I already know a little and get on well with. Is that weird?

 

That isn't strange. That is the way it should be, at least if you're a marriage minded person. Sure, you can get lucky and make a genuine connection with someone who's practically a stranger. But the idea of going through the usual awkward and shallow small talk on a date just makes me cringe a little. I have found that once you gotten to know someone as a friend first, the transition into something more becomes more natural and the conversation on a date is more meaningful. I simply don't understand how people can go through date after date with various people they don't know or barely know. And you wonder why there are so many awkward horror stories of a first date with a stranger or a disaster date with someone your friends set you up with. You're basically shooting into the dark and not knowing what you're getting yourself into. I wouldn't want to waste money and investment on someone who I don't think is worth my time and effort. Some may say I look at dating too seriously and maybe I am. But considering the norm of the hookup culture today, I say we don't take dating seriously enough.

 

Yes, I'm fully aware that a date is supposed to be relaxed and fun and it isn't a marriage proposal. But I think a date should be fun and have purpose. Without purpose, I wouldn't even call it a date. It would just be two friends hanging out. Even though there is a big difference between a date and marriage, I don't think we need to have the identical mindset to dating as marriage but it should be similar because a first date is the first step towards marriage. I think that includes being more selective in who we date. I can't tell you how many times I've been interested in a girl, only to later realize we wouldn't be good together just by getting to know her. Saved a lot of time and money that way.

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I am 26, I have had 3 boyfriends, but each relationship was short lived (each lasted less than 3 mos), and I was not in love with any of them. I mean, I guarded my heart. One guy, I dated when I was 17, another when I was 19, the other when I was 22. I have never been crazy about any of them. I have had guy friends/random guys that i had more chemistry with, but those friendships never went anywhere because I knew the guys in question were a threat to my purity and spirituality. So, in a sense (not to take away from anyone else's experience), I've been single. It feels good to have never had my heart broken before. It also feels incredibly lonely. I have never enjoyed any of my "boyfriends. " I don't know what it is to have a guy treat you like you're his world, to have a man to buy sexy armani perfume for, to cuddle with, to have your own man to look up to. I have been kissed, but the love wasnt there, So I haven't experienced the rush you get when your man kisses you and whatnot. Like I said, my previous relationships were empty. But I guess this is the path for me, God wants my husband to be the first man I really enjoy being with. We'll see?!

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I've been single my whole life(21). I agree with boots ,that nobody really wants to be single,but for me its comfortable. But I am ready to leave my comfortzone.

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I was going to write out a long reason of why I believe this but I don't think I need to. Long story short, in my experience, you don't need to be in a relationship or even just one date to feel heartbreak. You can get that by just being into a friend and letting them know. Or, by being into a friend and knowing they don't feel it back, by the way they act, and never even telling them.

 

Oddly, I've been heartbroken two times, and had my heart slightly dinged once. None of which were from my BFs. At 13, it was just puppy love. I cared about him, and missed him when he moved away, but it wasn't real. The second, at 16, was nothing. I was more hurt about how he talked to me, than I was about our breakup.

 

Ideally, yes, the best relationship MIGHT come from friendship first. I hope it does, and I hope that is my experience. However, most people don't realize that they are friends with each other, and good ones, until after they have started dating and are serious. Simply because sometimes you meet someone briefly and the only way to continue seeing them is to make a date to make it happen. You're not in the same circles, or have the same daily lives.

 

However, unfortunately, because of my heartbreaks (a couple of them were from me making the first move and telling them, then being shot down) if a friend is interested in something more, he will have to say something. I'll do what I can to make it somewhat clear that I am interested in the possibility, without outright saying it, but I don't think my heart can take anymore rejection. I don't like making the first move and, it may be totally wrong of me but... I'm a girl, I shouldn't have to. :)

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I think something went terribly wrong with my post. :) I THINK I may have hit the wrong key and my long post posted before my shortened one. :/ Anyway... Either one explains myself.... I think. I just wish I could remember what the other one said.

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I've been single my whole life. I honestly haven't minded the singleness much. I've generally been too busy to think about having a girlfriend. Once in a while I'll think about how it would be cool to be dating someone, but it's not that big of a deal.

 

The problem for me is more that it seems like I'm getting too old to find a woman who is still a virgin. The older I get the more it's like, "Oh, no. I need to have found someone by now. All the waiters have already married and the nonwaiters surely aren't still virgins by my age." This is where the stress from being single comes from for me. Sometimes the stress can be pretty bad, too.

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I wonder if I'm the record holder here :)... at 34 (I'll be 35 on this non-existent February 29) I have had... no relationships, no dates, no heartbreaks, a few minor crushes that lasted like five seconds....  :). I’ve had many chances at all of that but I chose to pass. I’m your ultimate loner and I prefer my own company more often than not but if I look at myself objectively, I think I am afraid of how love can make a person weak or desperate, of being emotionally dependent, of the tears that come with the pleasure, of being insecure, of willingly losing my freedom, of trusting someone, of having to compromise, of having to break the patterns I have set for myself, of having my defenses broken down…… I don't know but maybe there can be relationships without any of these, but for me, it all boils down to fear.

 

Do I get lonely? I do sometimes, and I even think that perhaps one day…one day, if I do meet a person who can look at me and around me and into me and through me, without me having to let go of my inhibitions… that day, I might consider calling out my fear. However, I am not concerned about what people define happiness to be nor am I in pursuit of happiness by having someone else in my life. I count my current single status as a blessing. There is so much I am doing now for my family, my church and my community that I would not have had the time or opportunity for were I married or in a relationship.

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I am 18 and have never had a girlfriend. Every single day that goes by, I know my pool of people is getting smaller and smaller. I doubt I'll ever find a beautiful girl who saved her virginity for me and is compatible with me in all of the other ways.

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At age 19, I've had two boyfriends - one of them was when I was 11, and the other was when I was 17 and long-distance. So it's fair to say that I've never been in a "real" relationship. Some days I feel a bit awkward about it, since everyone I know has experienced kisses, holding hands, romantic dates, and all the other things that come with being in a relationship. What's hardest is seeing my best friend go through all of that when until recently, our experiences were so similar. We were both in relationships at age 11-12, then again at 17 (we even broke up during the same month). He isn't waiting till marriage but I'm fairly sure he's waiting for love, so we have a lot to relate to. But over the last few years, he's been in a few relationships and gone a lot farther than I ever have, and that's… weird. I'll be honest, sometimes I feel a bit jealous.

 

On the other hand, I haven't really had the opportunity for a relationship since my last one ended. When that happened, I had less than a year to go before I left Switzerland to study in England, and I only studied in England for a year. Now I'm in New Zealand and leaving again in a couple of months. I don't see the point in starting a relationship if there's no chance it will be long-term (I don't have anything against long distance per se, but since my only "real" relationship so far was mostly long distance, for the time being, I'd rather we stayed in the same country... preferably in the same town :) ). Since I've been moving country to country so much, I haven't really had the opportunity to start a relationship. Add to that the fact that I'm super shy, and ta-daa, you have my life :P Maybe, since I'm starting study again in September and settling down in one place for the next 3-5 years, I'll finally put an end to my single life. Hey, it's good to hope, right? :D

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I've dated and hung out with a ton of guys. But never really had a relationship. So I've been single all my life. Having a boyfriend really doesn't matter to me right now

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I have to say. Since discovering this site, I have been much more comfortable with my single status. Much more... at ease, and accepting of it. I find myself being more contented in waiting. Not so in a hurry to find someone, and just being open to it happening... if it happens to happen. :) Leaving it in Gods hands. I'm not pressuring it, or searching for it, now. I still have crushes, though, but those make my life fun and interesting and help me learn about myself.

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I've been single my whole life. Its a mixed bag on how I feel about it. My brother & cousins have had boyfriends (my female cousins even got married, though one of them is divorcing) & girlfriends, but most of those relationships went south. I feel I'm missing out on a life experience, but on the other hand, I've seen pretty bad break-ups that I wish I would never experience.

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I'm 26 and have been single all my life as well. I was focused on other things and I just finished grad school in December.

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I've been single my hole life and I just turned 25. I somehow feel younger maybe also because I don't feel "used" in anyway. I have been heart-broken but I never really felt I loved someone so that's a weird thing to say. Being single: sometimes it's unbearable, sometimes it feels like a blessing; like everything in life it depends on something else and most of all it depends on your attitude towards it or simply your perspective.

I do believe the singleness time is a period set for personal growth, re-learning love towards the self(society, even family in some cases, has a way of taking that away from you) learning your personal values, your place in the world and so much more exploring of the world and yourself.

But if there's a period/feeling I would like to pass, it would be that period exactly between singleness and relationship, when I'm just meeting someone that could be relationship/marriage potential (it never really happened so maybe that's why I don't like it) and I start wondering... "what if? what if he could be the man?" ... I find that so time consuming and tiring. That's why it's very important for me to start a friendship at first. I also embrace the idea you guys shared about dating strangers. I've been there, I've done that but it's so strange(/strangers... figures) and awkward(maybe because of the forced meeting context) and even boring at times(which is weird because not knowing much about somebody should make space for a lot of discussion but it turns out the opposite most of the times).

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