ArtsyGal

Wearing a bikini at the beach?

31 posts in this topic

Hello everyone :D

 

I know lots of us women have asked this question, is it or is it not ok for me to wear a bikini?

I have really pondering this, especially since I fly Jesus' flag( aka, a follower of Christ), and not wanting to tempt men because of dressing, showing a lot of skin.

Well if you are a fellow lady who has wondered, I found this awesome article from a young Christian woman's view on this question:

 

http://www.chicagonow.com/feminist-christian/2013/09/should-christian-women-wear-bikinis/

 

Also, I am hoping you men view this as well.

Sadly a lot of women and girls are still blamed for things that are not their fault or asked to have happen to them.

 

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the article.

 

-Artsy out.

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Honestly, I don't agree with the author.
 

Wearing a bikini on a beach isn’t necessary sexualized until you make it sexualized in your head.

 
As a male, I don't believe that we're slaves to our urges.  You still have the choice to look or not look, regardless of what a woman has on. However, a bikini shows as much skin as if you were in your underwear, far more than what you would see normally. I think it's a bit absurd to show that much skin and then complain that men are viewing you sexually.

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I wish I was confident enough to wear a bikini.  :( I don't see it a being any more sexual than guys' swimsuits (they probably show about an equal amount of skin IMO).

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I once helped out as a teacher for a week long kids camp. The camp taught kids about Jesus and the Bible. We had to take a class to learn how to respond to kids. In this class they taught the girls not to wear skimpy outfits. After they taught the girls the teacher told us to turn the paper around. We did. Then she taught us that the guys need follow the same rules. I agree with Buster Cannon. It is the same as wearing underwear. I have heard girls say underwear is different because it has lace. I can tell you from a male perspective that when a girl takes her clothes off, most guys are not thinking about the lace. They are looking at your skin. I can't tell you how women think when guys take their shirts off, because I'm not a woman. However when I took that class, the teacher told the guys to keep their shirts on. I personally have a major famer tan haha. I also watched this once and I figure it might help you make a decision.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edKU73cPcp8

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I guess the link didn't work. If you want to see it, search on YouTube for. The godly truth about the bikini. One more thing, sorry. This article in my opinion tried to hard to justify what women can and can't do by criminalizing what men do. My mom always taught me two wrongs don't make a right. I don't know how Women see men, like I said. However I think if men are helping to cause women to stumble, we should try to get guys to stop. Not make it to wear women help men stumble too.

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From a Catholic perspective, I will put up a quote from Pope John Paul II (shamelessly stolen from wikipedia):

 

 

In 1981, Pope John Paul II expressed the Catholic Church's attitude to the exposure of the human body in Love and Responsibility: "The human body can remain nude and uncovered and preserve intact its splendour and its beauty... Nakedness as such is not to be equated with physical shamelessness... Immodesty is present only when nakedness plays a negative role with regard to the value of the person...The human body is not in itself shameful... Shamelessness (just like shame and modesty) is a function of the interior of a person."

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I agree with Dave. However, as a Christian I believe that since the time of Adam and Eve, not many human hearts can look at another nude person without it having at least a slight affect on their heart.

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As someone who had the modesty message shoved in their face, how do you guys feel when christians (some) tell you you can't control yourself? I would be offended if I were a guy and people were telling me that I can't control myself.

I do wear bikinis but not often because I hate the beach/water. It's great to tan in When I do wear one I'm not thinking about how others might view me, because I simply don't care. I feel comfortable enough with my body to go out and wear one.

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I can't speak for others, just for myself.  I do not wear bikinis.  I don't like how men stare at me.  I want them to see me as "Stacie", not as a "female body".  And that is how I feel when men stare at me. 

 

On another note, if my man and I were trying to have a fun day at the beach, I would find it annoying to have to watch him divert his attention from all the bikini babes (or at least not have me catch him).   It takes the fun out of the day.  Why can't we just go to the beach?  Why does it have to be about people being half-naked?  Sigh..  I'm not saying I'm right.  Maybe I'm not.  But this is how it feels to be me. 

Also, bikinis don't stay on as well.  Jump in the water and your top can easily come up.  As well as wedgies on the bottom because they are so skimpy.  Thus, what is the practicality of wearing a skimpy bikini?  I currently own a cute dress swim suit.  Some friends from church and I all took our kids to the pool and I felt way more comfortable wearing a modest swimsuit while talking to my pastor then to tempt him with cleavage.  Even if you are a straight woman, excessive cleavage can be distracting for anyone! 

 

The problem is, skimpy swimwear is the norm for women.  It is hard to go to a typical store to find a decent swimsuit. 

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I think modesty is relative, and has to do with the culture you live in. A bathing suit that is modest to a North American, can be absolutely scandalous to someone living in, say, India. In fact, when I was in India i could not even wear a modest one-piece, or even shorts and a t-shirt in some places, but had my full legs covered. It had to do with where I was, in a remote area. I have also been to places where pants, even loose fitting ones, are very innapropiate because it shows the outline of your thigh.

I have seen the other end of the spectrum,(areas of Spain) where going topless is the norm, and you're seen as odd if you refuse to do it. I have seen the boobs of many a stranger...i was not comfortable with that, and chose to wear a bikini for myself.

Where did I see more men leering at women? The places where you had to cover more of your body. There is only so much a woman can do.

I think if I am wearing something with the intent to entice, then that is wrong. It is very difficult for me to find a one-piece that fits properly (*very important*), so I mostly wear two pieces which range in coverage from tankini to what I would consider a modest string (excellent boob and butt coverage, but string on the back). i don't understand wearing a swimsuit that won't stay on while swimming. If that is the case, you definitely need to reevaluate what you are doing!

Anyways, I don't think it's wrong, depending on where you are! Plus, I like to get some sun on my tummy every once in a while.

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I think modesty is relative, and has to do with the culture you live in. A bathing suit that is modest to a North American, can be absolutely scandalous to someone living in, say, India. In fact, when I was in India i could not even wear a modest one-piece, or even shorts and a t-shirt in some places, but had my full legs covered. It had to do with where I was, in a remote area. I have also been to places where pants, even loose fitting ones, are very innapropiate because it shows the outline of your thigh.

I have seen the other end of the spectrum,(areas of Spain) where going topless is the norm, and you're seen as odd if you refuse to do it. I have seen the boobs of many a stranger...i was not comfortable with that, and chose to wear a bikini for myself.

Where did I see more men leering at women? The places where you had to cover more of your body. There is only so much a woman can do.

I think if I am wearing something with the intent to entice, then that is wrong. It is very difficult for me to find a one-piece that fits properly (*very important*), so I mostly wear two pieces which range in coverage from tankini to what I would consider a modest string (excellent boob and butt coverage, but string on the back). i don't understand wearing a swimsuit that won't stay on while swimming. If that is the case, you definitely need to reevaluate what you are doing!

Anyways, I don't think it's wrong, depending on where you are! Plus, I like to get some sun on my tummy every once in a while.

 

Essentially it all boils down to "When in Rome, do as the Romans do".

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If anyone wants to donate several hundred dollars to the "Pay for Belle's one-of-kind, custom-designed one-piece bathing suit," then I'd be happy to stop wearing bikinis. Until then, I am an extra-large or extra-extra-large on top and a small or extra-small on bottom. Good luck finding anything that is NOT a bikini that will actually stay on my body. Yeah, that goes for tankinis too.

 

When I lived in France, I sunbathed topless, and no one batted an eye.

 

When Beau and I go to the pool, he doesn't ogle the other women in bikinis.

 

I hang out with my guy friends at the pool or beach in a bikini, and they don't leer at me or make me feel uncomfortable.

 

If you're literally incapable of treating a woman with respect and dignity because she's in a bikini, avoid pools, beaches, and water parks. If the guy you're dating is checking out other women, the problem is him, not the other women.

 

I've blogged extensively on bikinis, so feel free to read my expanded thoughts on the issue.

 

P.S. I'm bisexual, and definitely very visually-stimulated by attractive people, and yet I manage not to view men or women at the beach sexually.* Maybe because I treat all people as human beings and image-bearers of God, worthy of dignity and respect.

 

*Not counting my husband. He's super-sexy even in sweat pants and a t-shirt. Rowr!

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I'm not Catholic but I agree completely with the quote by John Paul II that Dave posted. Personally, I wear a bikini because I feel more comfortable than in a one-piece bathing suit. Other people might have different preferences, but that's what suits me best.

I don't mind when people look at me and my bikini at the beach. I think it boils down to the fact that *I* control what they see. It may seem strange to say that of a situation where 80% of my body is uncovered, but look at it this way: nobody is forcing me to wear a bikini, nor a one-piece bathing suit. It's my personal choice and I will own the consequences. Some days, I feel more comfortable wearing long sleeves and an ankle-length skirt. Other days, I go to the beach in a bikini. Only two things I won't back down on - binding my hair and saving myself sexually for marriage - but apart from those, whatever I wear or do is my choice. I'm comfortable with my body and don't believe nudity is shameful, so I wear bikinis. At the end of the day, what matters is that I chose what to wear instead of being pressured either way. That's why I'm okay with the attention I get, whether it's "what a prude!", "ew she looks ugly in that outfit" or "hot babe!" - because either way, the amount of body I show is my choice.

Ultimately, wearing an outfit I feel comfortable in (whether modest or revealing) and having a few guys stare at me won't have any negative consequences (though Christians may disagree with me). Wearing the same outfit then flaunting around sexually, thus tempting some guy into having sex with me in a changing cabin - now that would be immoral and immodest.

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094d06226fd9015b12ac9688eef560a1.jpgi usually like to have on a sexy tunic on top of my bathing suit.


i have nothing against women in skimpy outfits/bikinis in general.

i just personally don't believe in giving "free shows" lol

so i try to cover up.

it keeps things a little more interesting lol


men will notice and look at women in skimpy outfits and have lusty thoughts. that's just reality.

but it should stop there. they can look but don't touch. don't be so self-entitled that you think you can go and grab her ass just cuz she's standing there looking hot.


but i mean at the end of the day you could be fully clothed from head to toe and still get mistaken for a hooker like i was lmaooooo I swear it was the louboutin heels smdh

it's not how much skin you're exposing. women don't expose skin to please men. a lot of men get that twisted somehow.

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Where did I see more men leering at women? The places where you had to cover more of your body. 

 

 

So true.

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Well, just to add my opinion to the list of opinions, modesty and "appropriate" attire vary widely depending on culture and country,

I specifically remember someone who spent a lot of time in Brazil, stating that swimsuits in the United States seem incredibly conservative by Brazilian standards.  To many people in North America, a woman wearing a Bikini is not that big of a deal.

 

Besides Artsygal, you are a young woman!  Why not enjoy running around in a Bikini while you are still young and pleasing to the eye?

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Male Logic: If a woman consents to one thing, she consents to all the things! I can completely disregard her choices and mock her silly belief that she has a right to her own body.
 

 

By your extremely sexist example, since I've given a ton of medical professionals plus my husband access to my naked body, then I can't be upset if anyone tries to see or touch my naked body.

 

The difference between wearing a bikini in PUBLIC and wearing underwear in PRIVATE is consent. I personally don't have a problem with trusted friends seeing me in my underwear (I refer to my bras as bullet-proof vests b/c of how much support and coverage I need), but I would feel violated if someone barged into my bedroom while I was changing.

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Where did I see more men leering at women? The places where you had to cover more of your body. There is only so much a woman can do.

 

 

The real irony here is this: most of the bathing suits are designed to be as attention-grabbing as possible. That is the message that they are made to send. I think that a lot of the bikinis send more of a sexually-charged message than a naked woman would. They essentially draw your eyes to the covered areas, and make them what you are focused on.

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For some reason, it makes my stomach turn when I see men as old as my dad gawking at me.  Or married men sneaking glances at me without their wives seeing.  Girls, have you ever experienced that? 

I also was not raised in a household where we were comfortable in our own skin, maybe that plays a factor.

There was a day when I dressed a lot sexier.  When I flaunted my body with skimpy attire, it made me feel powerful.  I could play the room like puppets. 

Just adding to the conversation.  I am torn on the topic. 

 

Bretheny's input is intriguing!  I'd like to go to a beach in Spain just to experience this openness.

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For some reason, it makes my stomach turn when I see men as old as my dad gawking at me.  Or married men sneaking glances at me without their wives seeing.  Girls, have you ever experienced that?

 

I've never noticed anyone checking me out. Ever. 

 

Cryinggifs_01_1.gif

 

(Not counting one or two incidents of overt street harassment, because that's more about power/dominance/bullying than finding someone hot, and also not counting my boyfriend, because he's kinda *supposed* to think I'm attractive.)

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I've never noticed anyone checking me out. Ever.

Cryinggifs_01_1.gif

Neither have I - sad times! It might be different in the UK though as people wear all sorts of revealing outfits to the beach and nobody bats an eyelid. The town where I grew up was a well known seaside holiday destination and it was not uncommon to see people walking through town on their way to the beach in bikinis or boardshorts with no shirt for the men.

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The real irony here is this: most of the bathing suits are designed to be as attention-grabbing as possible. That is the message that they are made to send. I think that a lot of the bikinis send more of a sexually-charged message than a naked woman would. They essentially draw your eyes to the covered areas, and make them what you are focused on.

Hmm maybe some of them, but I am talking about places where there does not exist any type of swimsuit that is appropriate. Like the only thing you can wear is an unflattering t-shirt and long pants. Maybe Bermuda shorts if you're lucky.

Also, it doesn't matter what kind of bathing suit you have, they have to fit snug in certain areas in order to be comfortable, safe and appropriate (let's face it, something really loose can be very revealing in water...)

From my point of view, we can blame the bathing suit design all day, but when it boils down to it, it's the female body underneath it that a man would be checking out. I'm all for modesty, but a man can't blame a woman because she has breasts and a booty.I wear construction coveralls all day. A man will check you out in construction coveralls. How unflattering do clothes have to get before it stops?

Haha like I said, there is only so much a woman can do!

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For some reason, it makes my stomach turn when I see men as old as my dad gawking at me.  Or married men sneaking glances at me without their wives seeing.  Girls, have you ever experienced that? 

I also was not raised in a household where we were comfortable in our own skin, maybe that plays a factor.

There was a day when I dressed a lot sexier.  When I flaunted my body with skimpy attire, it made me feel powerful.  I could play the room like puppets. 

Just adding to the conversation.  I am torn on the topic. 

 

Bretheny's input is intriguing!  I'd like to go to a beach in Spain just to experience this openness.

Yes, I have experienced old men/married men checking me out. Even worse is from couples that you know...makes you feel really gross.

I had a little flashback to my days in Spain as an aupair. Sitting on a really small beach that was very close to a busy road with a Canadian and a Brazilian friend. There were two women, with pretty nice bodies, walking up down the beach, topless. Back and forth, again and again. After about 40 minutes, my Brazilian friend pipes up, "I don't know about you guys, but I'm really tired of seeing the same boobs over and over."

Another interesting observation about that place....you could go topless on the beach, but if you were anywhere else, sometimes even on the boardwalk about 100 feet away, you would get rude comments about a low cut shirt, or short skirt. I never quite figured that one out. (Happened to a friend of mine)

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