Skeptopotamus

Cheesy, Horrible and Hilarious - Pick Up Lines

32 posts in this topic

This is inspired by the WTM Podcast on pick-up artists and their delightfully awful lines. What are some pick up line gems you've heard?

 

I'll start:

 

Your daddy must have been a thief because he stole the stars out of the sky and put them in your eyes.

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Oh no! I have heard some terrible ones in passing haha. Let's see....

 

...If I told you that you have a nice body, would you hold it against me? 

 

...I thought happiness started with an H, why does mine start with U?

 

...Was your father a baker? Because those are some nice buns!

 

...Dang girl, are you an astronaut? 'Cause you are out of this world!

 

...My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.

 

:huh:   :lol:

Lord help us all

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That last one.. :blink:

 

Hahah let's see what else I've heard...

 

- Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you got fine written all over you.

 

- If I followed you home, would you keep me?

 

- Know what this t-shirt is made of? Boyfriend material.

 

- I bet I can guess your initials. Q. T.

 

- You must have rolled in sugar because you are sweet.

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My basilisk wants to Slytherin your Chamber of Secrets

 

Platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements

 

Is that a wand in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

 

Yes, I'm a huge Harry Potter geek.

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None of you have used to best one yet...

Are you from Tenessee? Because you're the only 10 I see.

Works every time, 20% of the time.

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Or these timeless classics...

 

"Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?"

 

and 

 

"Did it hurt?" 

"Did what hurt?"

"When you fell from heaven." 

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Excuse me do you have a quarter?  I need to call heaven and tell it that one of it's angels is missing!

 

Was your dad a terrorist?  Because you are the bomb!

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Wow a mathematical one, lol.

 

- Baby you’re like a student and I am like a math book, you solve all my problems.

 

- Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?

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The most overused, predictable and oldest pick up line in history is:

 

"Hello, my name is [insert name]"

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The most overused, predictable and oldest pick up line in history is:

 

"Hello, my name is [insert name]"

 

Or get your wingperson to say, "Have you met Ted?"

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haha how about this?

 

Boy: Did it hurt?

Girl: Aww when I fell from heaven?

Boy: No. When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down.

 

No? Aww well, I tried anyway...

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Note for the pros: Don't use this one to pick up ladies at the airport bar...

 

Was your dad a terrorist?  Because you are the bomb!

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I have a shirt with that phrase on it...

Girl, I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.

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If you love water then you'll love 70 percent of me

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For a Catholic, you could try:

 

"Hey, do you know Latin? Because your form is extraordinary."

 

"If you kissed me, I'd be a second-class relic."

 

"What would you say to fish this Friday?"

 

 

"Did it hurt?" 

"Did what hurt?"

"When you fell from heaven." 

 

I believe the correct response to this is, "Are you calling me a demon?"

 

xxx

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-The word says to give food to the hungry and drink to the thirsty... so can I buy you dinner?

A girl as beautiful as you it is plain to see that you were crafted by deity.

You know steeling is a sin right?  you sinned by steeling my heart.

 

 

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If I were an enzyme, I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes ;)

(For my fellow science lovers)

 

And a cheesy one...

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.

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I had an African American manager when I had a job selling vacuums for a week and he said, "Do you have any black in you?"  I said, "No."  He said, "Would you like some?"  

 

Ewww.

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Guy says to girl "So I was reading The book of Numbers( bible), but it didn't see yours"

"I have seemed to lost my phone number, can I have yours?"

"Are you an interior decorator? Because when I saw you, the entire room became beautiful"

"Do you live in a corn field? Beacuse I am stalking you." O.o

"Forget about Spider-Man, Superman, and Batman. I'll be your man."

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I find it hilarious that I got "picked-up" (not really, this was after I met this guy and continued to talk online) with the very first line in this thread: "Your daddy must have been a thief because he stole the stars out of the sky and put them in your eyes." and I only realized it was a pick-up line after I read it here... talking about being blonde.(it's okay it goes away with washing) But when he said more like texted it all I could think of was how beautiful my eyes seemed to him... yep. That's how much pick-up lines are used in my country. (and he's not from my country, figures)

Pick-up lines I've heard? : "Can I grab you a beer?" - yep, pretty much straight-forward ... or another line of my favorites when I asked a guy what his age was(in a club, my bad), his answer: "I am a vampire." ...

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