Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
Guest markb4

Disciplining Kids

19 posts in this topic

Hey all,

If/When you finally marry and get kids, how would you discipline them if they misbehave/err/go over their limits? Would you ever consider spanking? etc?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Definitely not. My parents never spanked me, or even grounded me, and I never ever threw temper tantrums or even snuck food. I don't break the rules, ever. I was always a very well-behaved kid, and if I did anything bad, it was with their permission. :P My parents don't believe in any forms of punishment, and it worked great with me! :) Maybe my children will need grounded and some privileges removed at times, but I will absolutely never resort to physical violence.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well I def would spank my child lol. I was one of those kids that needed to be spanked because putting me in timeout was a joke to me :P the only thing that brought me fear when I was little was the belt dry.gif . i however will say I did learn from the belt and as I got older I stopped getting hit with the belt and then started getting lectures by my mother which were even worse because they would be hours long and etc. But I would say am pretty good kid now I dont think ive goten in trouble in ages!!!!B)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't see a problem with spanking. My brother and I were spanked as children but only when we downright deserved it! (And some of the things us two young boys did probly deserved worse than that!! :lol: ) I hope I never have to (yeah right!!) but I definitely will if the need arises.

Now since we're on the subject...there is definitely a line (not a fine line in my opinion, a pretty darn BIG line) between spanking your kids for bad behavior and being an abusive parent. I know many people disagree with spanking of any kind and thats totally ok...but I do think a distinction should be made.

Also, I feel like taking away privileges works wonders with kids as well (and teenagers for that matter). So that would definitely be something I could see doing.

What about you Mark?

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

DD mentioned taking away priveledges, which is what my parents did. It worked reeealllllly well. If we were being bad, the warning would be "you have a sleepover comibg up this weekend, or a birthday party, etc, etc" and instantky we'd be like "Noooooooooooo!!!!" So we'd scramble to fix thr mess we made, do the chore we didnt do, or WHATEVER it was - we could NOT miss a sleepover or bday party !!! Haha

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't see a problem with spanking. My brother and I were spanked as children but only when we downright deserved it! (And some of the things us two young boys did probly deserved worse than that!! :lol: ) I hope I never have to (yeah right!!) but I definitely will if the need arises.

Now since we're on the subject...there is definitely a line (not a fine line in my opinion, a pretty darn BIG line) between spanking your kids for bad behavior and being an abusive parent. I know many people disagree with spanking of any kind and thats totally ok...but I do think a distinction should be made.

Also, I feel like taking away privileges works wonders with kids as well (and teenagers for that matter). So that would definitely be something I could see doing.

What about you Mark?

I agree with you 100%. I personally wasn't ever spanked (I was a good boy :D lol) , but that's not to say that my parents wouldn't if I had done something worthy of being spanked. And yes there is a difference between spanking and beating your kids. Also taking away privileges is another way for discipline that works.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There is definitly a difference. I dont know about spanking because of a conversation i had the other day. a friend of mine said she was spanked and slapped across the face and said that affected her relationship with her dad. she said its hard to understand someone telling you they love you and then doing that. She vows to never do that to her kids and wants to make sure they feel loved unlike how its been for her.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There is definitly a difference. I dont know about spanking because of a conversation i had the other day. a friend of mine said she was spanked and slapped across the face and said that affected her relationship with her dad. she said its hard to understand someone telling you they love you and then doing that. She vows to never do that to her kids and wants to make sure they feel loved unlike how its been for her.

Well, that's true, especially when parents spank for any and all occasions. You shouldn't need to resort to spanking until the very last choice. And maybe your friend's dad made that mistake. But I'm 100% against slapping across the face for a young child.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah thats def over the line. Any time you're hitting or slapping your kids in the face you've crossed the line into being abusive IMO.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, that's true, especially when parents spank for any and all occasions. You shouldn't need to resort to spanking until the very last choice. And maybe your friend's dad made that mistake. But I'm 100% against slapping across the face for a young child.

If you do use physical discipline (which I don't relly incurage) id at least agree with this statment.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I actually am a firm believer in discipline. Like slaps on the hand and swats on their hinny. However, I believe in rewarding children first for good behavior. Such as, "if you're good I'll take you out for ice cream" when their babies but when they're older "I'll give you an extra $15 if you behave well." kinda thing. There was a research done, which I want to implement on my children if I ever have any, that children learn more quickly and respond better when they are rewarded for good behavior than punished for bad. So that is something I wan to do myself.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't know. I'll have to meet my future kid/kids and decide then. A spank might be what's needed for one the other a loss of a privilege, or something more creative like writing an essay. As a kid spanking didn't work for me and losing a privilege I didn't always care, but I remember once my mother had me write about empathy after being a terror to my sister and that stuck with me. It all depends on the child.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My brother and I were spanked as children by both parents.

My dad spanked at a whim and in a publicly humiliating fashion whereas my Mom spanked me under five times in my entire life-after all measures were taken to correct me. So, when she spanked me, it was past due and very called for with a 2x4 with nails at the end of it. I didn't go around telling people that I was beaten because I knew that if I had to explain what I did to deserve it, I'd only be making a bigger fool out of myself.

So, I define what I feel appropriate discipline is from how my Mom went about it. She warned us countless times, explained why whatever we were doing was wrong and needed stopped, and then if that wasn't enough, we got spanked. Most of the time it was highly effective, but the times I was being extra difficult, I feel that I was dealt with appropriately. I feel that it crosses the line into "beating" when it's anything except your hand that is being used and it's at full force. I'd initially start off with a firm talking to, then time out (the number of minutes of time out = their age in years), then taking adored possessions/privileges away, then spanking.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would never spank my kids, I was never spanked and I don't see the need for it. I think its hard for small children to understand that it isn't okay to hit other kids when they do something bad/hurtful, but its okay for an adult to hit them when they misbehave. And there is that phrase "pick on somebody your own size", its seems completely unfair for an adult to hit a small child.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hmm not really sure - but i definitely don't like violence and would avoid spanking!

My mom was pretty creative with punishments - like being stuck in a cold shower, or not allowed to eat until I did the chore or homework i was supposed to. Never really did the pull privilege thing as the main activity of choice for me was reading, and she didn't want to do anything to discourage that, and the first 8 or so years of my life were pretty isolated, so wouldn't see other kids very often.

As for my dad, well we had a leather strap hanging on the wall that got used on occasion. Of course he also nailed a cow skull to a tree outside my window (we didn't have curtains) because i was having nightmares or something...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Although...there are some kinds of teenage boys who like to steal, graffiti, jump on moving trains, ditch school etc.

I think they need a good kick in the pants from a father or grandfather to be put back in line.

I agree!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hmm...

I think when it came to raising my kids, I'd be more of a time-out/talking kind of mother. I can't really see myself hitting my kids. My parents never hit me, and to be honest, I don't think spanking your kids is any more effective than time-outs and whatnot, as long as you do it right.

xxx

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I also think that spanking should not really be used when they are teenagers.

Although...there are some kinds of teenage boys who like to steal, graffiti, jump on moving trains, ditch school etc.

I think they need a good kick in the pants from a father or grandfather to be put back in line.

I second this! I also forgot to mention that my dad spanked me until I was 16, going on 17. It's just not age appropriate past a certain point.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0