Queen

Higher Education

19 posts in this topic

Just like Libs thread here: Higher Education

 

How do us women feel about our man having an education?

 

My answer:  The more educated I become, the more I appreciate conversation that education nourishes.  I prefer a man with at least a bachelor's degree.  I think I would be a great supportive wife to a medical doctor for example, because I understand the terminology and all the basics of the medical field.  Or an engineer because I love creating prototypes and inventing (although there is still a ton I could learn). 

I am a first generation college student.  My dad does not have a college education and I thoroughly respect that.  I'd even consider dating someone without a college degree. Especially if they were open to me sharing all the interesting things I've learned in college or if they have a sense of wonder.  More importantly than college, I think it is important (and attractive) for a man to have a set of career skills.  Skills that are marketable.  That means he's thinking about his future and his contribution in society.  My uncle said to me once, the secret to success is to know how to help people.  If you know how to help people, you'll never have to look for work.  People will always be coming to you.  They'll need the skill that you have (such as fixing cars).  If you need to go to college to attain a skill, then do that. 

I'd also rather my man work 2 or 3 jobs to make ends meet than to not work at all because he couldn't find a job in his field.

 

What do you think ladies?  Education a requirement, preference, or not?

5 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I already sort of talked about this in the other thread, but maybe I can elaborate a little more here.

 

My boyfriend wants to be a therapist, which requires at least a grad-school level of education. I 100% support him in this, because not only do I think getting more education is generally good for one's mind, but, more importantly, I think it is great that he has found what he wants to do in life, and that he is figuring out a way to make money doing it.

 

If I weren't with my boyfriend, I would definitely prefer someone who has at least an undergrad, if not master's level education. Even though I personally wish this were not the case, the fact is that undergrad degrees are becoming increasingly necessary in today's job market. Does that mean it's impossible to make a decent living without a bachelor's? No, of course not. But it does become much, much harder. This is backed-up by numerous studies. If my partner didn't have an undergrad degree, I'd at least want them to be in some kind of trade with potential for advancement.

 

It may seem kind of shallow to value income this much. Here's the thing: I want to have at least two kids, preferably before age 30. And it is extremely important to me that I am able to stay home with them until they're at least ready to start school. I *need* a partner who makes enough money on their own to be able to support two adults and two children. It doesn't have to be a lavish life -- I don't mind scrimping and saving for a few years in order to make my dreams come true -- but it does have to be at least enough for us to live in a safe neighborhood with decent schools, and to be able to put food on the table on top of that. Sad as it is, that's already asking a lot, money-wise.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Not a requirement for me, and would be hypocritical of me if I did require it,considering I have not attended college.What is most important to me is work ethic, and the desire to provide for a family. What drives me crazy, and not in a good way, is laziness. I've known men, with and without degrees, with poor work ethic.

I guess i come from a more blue collar background, so that is generally what I am more attracted to, but I am of course not opposed to anyone who went to college.

5 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My feelings are on the my thread in the guys section. :)

 

Basically, I don't care one way or another. I want them to be happy with whatever they decide to do. If they have a college educaiton, that is fine. If they don't, well I don't and I still love to learn. I think my biggest desire, as far as knowledge, is that they can keep up with me, and challenge me on occasion, and, if they are much more intelligent than me, that they don't mind explaining. That way I can learn more from them and have new things to learn about on my own. If they are NOT happy, I would want to support them in advancing their education, or changing their career altogether. Over all, knowing HOW to think is more important to me than anything else.

4 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think it's obvious at this point that I read quite often, I stay informed on current events, I speak two languages, I argue with supporting evidence, I'm interested in the historical context of the Bible, and I can easily read a scientific study and tear apart an inaccurate conclusion.

 

While it's certainly possible to have comparable interests and skill sets without a college degree, my experience indicates that there is a correlation between intelligent conversation and a four-year degree. I am happy to "dumb myself down" in social situations to make people of lesser intelligence feel comfortable, but I could never do that with a partner.

 

In fact, Beau told me when he got home from our first date that he couldn't remember the last time he'd had such an interesting and intelligent conversation.

 

If money were no object, and it were easy to find the right program in the right geographical region, I would be in grad school pursuing my Ph.D. in feminist theology.

 

I read my friends' theses for their grad degrees for fun.

 

For that matter, I used to edit college and grad papers for fun.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think at least a two year college education or trade school would be good. Even in the military they can try and better themselves. I just don't want someone who is floating through life. I've already got a 401k started for the future, I just want someone who looks to the future and plans a little.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would vastly prefer to date a man who has at least a bachelors degree. Ideally I would like to marry a man who has a similiar level of education as myself (I have a BSc, MSc and MA). I value intelligence in a potential partner over almost anything else - I crave intellectual conversations and love going to academic conferences and the like for fun. I would find it hard to identify with a man who had little intellectual curiosity as I honestly would find conversations boring and one dimensional after a while.

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I do want to get with someone with a degree, in a worthy field. Education is too important to me. Going to college opens up a whole bunch of doors, experience, and opportunities. The job market isn't the same as it was 30 years ago. It's getting harder to establish a career with only a high school diploma. I just can't look past that. Now I know college isn't for everyone. And that's okay. However if a person doesn't go to college then they better have a plan in place or attend trade school. Even get some certification or training somewhere. Unless they get a career that pays well with only a diploma(which can happen, but most of the time it doesn't) then they better be doing something with their live. Nothing wrong with minimal wage jobs but you should want to strive for something better.

Both my parents have advanced degrees and expected their children to become something in life. I'm currently working on my masters and eventually want to get my MBA & PHD . A mind is a terrible thing to waste.

5 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Not a requirement, but definitely a preference.  I, too, am a first generation college student on my mother's side.  As well as the first one on both sides of the family to get a MBA.  Education has always been important to my family and then to me as well.  I've worked within a university for a number of years and have just written curriculum to start a new area of education for a nearby college. So I would like to marry a man who has some further education and sees just how important it is to keep learning.  Does he need to have a doctorate or the like - no, but he does need to understand that learning doesn't stop.

 

I am an avid reader and try to keep up with current events and you don't need to have gone to college for either of those.  If I do marry a man who has not been to college then he at least needs to stay abreast of the changes in his field of work or interest, whether that be mechanics or medicine or technology or underwater basket weaving!  He needs to have a plan for his life and skills for a career.  If he decided that college wasn't for him, that's fine, but at this point in our lives he should have a direction for his life and a career plan in place.  

 

Just because you have a college degree doesn't mean that there will be a job out there for you.  If his career path happens to change (mine did a couple of years ago), those skills he has been working on and learning can go a long way in helping find another job.  

4 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Not a requirement, but definitely a preference.  I, too, am a first generation college student on my mother's side.  As well as the first one on both sides of the family to get a MBA.  Education has always been important to my family and then to me as well.  I've worked within a university for a number of years and have just written curriculum to start a new area of education for a nearby college. So I would like to marry a man who has some further education and sees just how important it is to keep learning.  Does he need to have a doctorate or the like - no, but he does need to understand that learning doesn't stop.

 

I am an avid reader and try to keep up with current events and you don't need to have gone to college for either of those.  If I do marry a man who has not been to college then he at least needs to stay abreast of the changes in his field of work or interest, whether that be mechanics or medicine or technology or underwater basket weaving!  He needs to have a plan for his life and skills for a career.  If he decided that college wasn't for him, that's fine, but at this point in our lives he should have a direction for his life and a career plan in place.  

 

Just because you have a college degree doesn't mean that there will be a job out there for you.  If his career path happens to change (mine did a couple of years ago), those skills he has been working on and learning can go a long way in helping find another job.

Awesome Lizzie! Finally a fellow MBA on the website! When did you graduate, did you have a specific emphasis for your MBA?

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't think I can be with someone who isn't university-educated. Typing that out sounded harsh and rather elitist, especially since neither of my parents went to university, but I can't see myself being married to someone who doesn't enjoy intellectual pursuits. Of course one can weld for a living and enjoy Solzhenitsyn all the same, but that's an outlying case.

 

I'm graduating with a BA this spring--the first in family on both sides. Oxford or LSE for graduate studies is well within my reach. I am hearkened by the realization that (nearly) four years of undergraduate study has molded me into a different person than I was at 18: my world views have changed, as has my moral compass (for the better, I'd say). I don't think someone who doesn't like discussing economic theory would enjoy being with me. 

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hmmm...the stark difference of opinion between the two sexes regarding this issue is clear. The general consensus so far is that a degree is not that important to guys while for the girls, it generally is. Interesting.

4 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hmmm...the stark difference of opinion between the two sexes regarding this issue is clear. The general consensus so far is that a degree is not that important to guys while for the girls, it generally is. Interesting.

Honestly, I'm a little surprised. I thought very few, if any, people would feel like me... let alone that it would be mostly guys who felt similar.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hmmm...the stark difference of opinion between the two sexes regarding this issue is clear. The general consensus so far is that a degree is not that important to guys while for the girls, it generally is. Interesting.

 

I believe (though I'm not certain) that this has been demonstrated in actual studies as well. Women typically want a man who has either the same or higher level of education that they do, while men typically want a woman who has the same or lower level of education.

4 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hmmm...the stark difference of opinion between the two sexes regarding this issue is clear. The general consensus so far is that a degree is not that important to guys while for the girls, it generally is. Interesting.

 

I would be interested to see everyone's responses alongside their ideal working situation within marriage. That is, how do your ideas about your spouse's education line up with your desire for a housewife or SAHM, number of kids, etc. If you anticipate being the sole breadwinner, I imagine your spouse's education--and career potential--is less important. If you anticipate taking time off work to raise kids, your spouse's education--and earning potential--is more important.

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hmmm...the stark difference of opinion between the two sexes regarding this issue is clear. The general consensus so far is that a degree is not that important to guys while for the girls, it generally is. Interesting.

If you don't remember, there was another thread about wanting virgins that had stark differences. Most of the guys required untouched women, most of the girls didn't require that.

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would be interested to see everyone's responses alongside their ideal working situation within marriage. That is, how do your ideas about your spouse's education line up with your desire for a housewife or SAHM, number of kids, etc. If you anticipate being the sole breadwinner, I imagine your spouse's education--and career potential--is less important. If you anticipate taking time off work to raise kids, your spouse's education--and earning potential--is more important.

 

That is a small reason why I place less importance on my future wife having a degree. That is because I prefer to be the bread winner and she stay home with the kids. But honestly, it's going to depend on our situation. If she happens to have a higher paying profession that fits our financial situation then we may decide she works outside the home while I stay home with the kids. Because having at least one of us stay home with the kids is non-negotiable for me if at all possible. I do not want my kids to grow up in day care if we can avoid it.

 

That being said though, there is one instance where I see an added benefit, though still not especially important to me, to my future wife having a degree. If my ideal situation happens, that is me being the bread winner and her staying home, and something were to happen to me, then she can have something to fall back on to financially provide for the kids. As I said before, college isn't the only path to success or learning, but it does open up more opportunities.

 

If you don't remember, there was another thread about wanting virgins that had stark differences. Most of the guys required untouched women, most of the girls didn't require that.

 

You kidding me? How could anyone forget that? Many of the guys were pretty vocal about it. :P

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hmmm...the stark difference of opinion between the two sexes regarding this issue is clear. The general consensus so far is that a degree is not that important to guys while for the girls, it generally is. Interesting.

 

Not to sound sexist, but that is what I would have expected.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have to wonder of those who prefer men with degrees are doing so subconsciously from their “security glandâ€. That’s a term I heard on a Dave Ramsey show. It relates to women wanting to know and feel secure. I don’t fault them for that at all. Men don't generally feel anxious about not having enough money, whereas some women are terrified, not knowing where the money will come from, or if there will ever be enough. No doubt that higher education opens the doors for more opportunities versus not having higher education. We all choose the path we feel is right.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now