PG1

Higher education...

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This is something I have thought about quite a few times over the years. So, I thought I'd ask you men how you feel about it. I am sure there will be varying answers. There is no absolute right answer, because I'm just asking how you FEEL about this.

 

How important is it, to you, that your gf/wife have a college degree? Do you feel that it is VERY important to show that she is intelligent, and feel that formal education is how you get that way? Or, do you feel that it's not so important, but it's ok, and that you can be intelligent and show it without a formal education? Or any grays in between? Really just any thoughts on how important it is for your gf/wife to have a degree... and maybe why?

 

Again, just curios. Thought it would be fun to hear what you all think. I always love reading all of the different views! :)

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It's a strong preference, but not a requirment.

 

1.) While college degrees don't necessarily mean you're more intelligent in terms of your raw ability, if you went to college and tried (this is key) you do tend to foster reasoning skills, communication skills, problem solving skills, ect....Also, you tend to be more worldly and knowledgable since you learn about (depending which classes you take) different histories, philosophys, religions, ect....Since I like academia and academic topics, I would probably "click" better with a woman who knows a lot about these kinds of things.

 

2.) In general, people who go to college have better earning potential. While I don't care if my wife makes a lot of money, I do want a wife who contributes and this helps in that regard.

 

But, like I said, it's not a requirement. Plenty of perfectly intelligent people don't go to college for one reason or another. They might not necessarily "click" as well with me since they're not as familiar with things I like to talk about, but it's not like her not having gone to college means I'll be talking to a blithering idiot or anything. Also, like I said, I'm not looking for a woman who makes a lot of money and there are jobs out there where you can still make a decent enough salary without a college degree.

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It's not really important to me at all. Like wny said, having a piece of paper that you spent thousands of dollars to get isn't indicative of one's intelligence. College may be necessary and good for some fields, but it's not for everyone. Most of the material taught in academia can be obtained informally elsewhere, and for free I might add. I think our generation has been duped into thinking we need a college degree to be successful but that's just a huge lie. People can be successful with or without one.

 

First off, I feel like most required courses in college are pointless since some of them are not applicable in most fields anyways. Depending on the professor, the classroom could very well be an environment of indoctrination where they teach you what to think rather than how to think. So that kind of puts another big nail in the coffin in the idea that college = intelligence.

 

Plus there are many non-college educated folks who become successful and then there are many highly educated people who are unemployed or underemployed. But even then, that is not my definition of success. What is important to me is that she has good values, kind, loving, faithful, wife and mother material, You don't get those traits by sitting in a classroom for 4 or more years.

 

I myself am so-called college "educated" and I am not intelligent at all. I'm just a weird, cynical dude who just rambles on about foolish stuff. lol. I don't think there is really much from my college experience that could give a positive impact on a potential marriage.

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I have a college degree, and it's not worth the paper it's printed on.

 

College doesn't make people smart. It's not any indication of intelligence. A degree from Harvard or Yale only shows that the person had enough money to go to Harvard or Yale.

 

I don't care if my future wife has a degree or what her IQ is. If she has problems balancing a checkbook, or needs help with anything, I would be happy to help her. As long as she can admit if she needs help, and isn't being reckless, none of that is a big deal. I know that my IQ is relatively high, and quite honestly I wish it wasn't. The higher your IQ goes, the more obsessive compulsive traits you are likely to develop, and the more mental issues you are likely to have.

 

Intelligence is no substitute for happiness. As far as an acceptable wives or husbands go, the most important thing is love and happiness.

 

My grandpa always said that smart people cause most of the world's problems.

 

As the saying goes, "Don't let school interfere with you education."

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A degree from Harvard or Yale only shows that the person had enough money to go to Harvard or Yale.

 

Eh, I'd disagree with that. To get into a school with a 5% acceptance rate, you need to have *some* kind of cred. And many elite schools have a need-blind admissions policy and provide hugely generous amounts of gift-aid, so poor students can actually have a better chance at being able to graduate a super-elite school with minimal loans than they might with a mid-tier private university, or even a state school. I know at Harvard, families that make less than 65k aren't expected to pay at all.

 

That said, getting into an elite school only reflects one kind of intelligence. It isn't necessarily the most important kind of intelligence. I sometimes wish I had skipped out on college entirely...but then, it seems like a college degree is the new high school diploma for a lot of employers. You can definitely make bank by getting into certain trades, but none of them strike me as particularly woman-friendly. 

 

It is 3:00 am where I am, so this is a bit ramble-y. Basically, what I'm trying to say is, going to college is reflective of and develops a certain sort of intelligence, but it isn't necessarily the kind of intelligence I require in my spouse. However, I *would* care about them having a solid plan for getting themselves into a decently-salaried position. I don't care how secretly brilliant they are, I would not be content to date someone who was OK with working a minimum-wage job with no potential for advancement their whole life.

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From a love perspective, I could care any less if my wife has a degree or not.

Why?

As said above, it's not a sole indicator of intelligence.

Now that being said from a worldly standpoint, people with degrees typically turn out to have better qualities of life.

And certainly for women, why I'll explain.

And this isn't sexist but just the reality of the bluecollar workforce.

A man who's "uneducated", or not university level educated can go work at a reasonably well paying bluecollar job and earn somewhat equivalent to what a college educated man will earn.

Though those kinds of positions are definitely slipping away.

I know pilots, which and certainly at this level (regional airlines) they aren't typically bachelors degree holders.

(Yup I know I just let out the secret, most folks think all pilots have PhDs)

But it's a bluecollar profession.

And look the mechanics, aviation mechanics, some of those dudes earn over six figures with a tech school education.

Now that being said, the reason I began with what I did, is that love isn't earned and graded on a collegiate grading scale.

But rather love is given and, enjoyed, shared, sacrificed together.

And your heart doesn't know if she has a degree or not.

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It's not important to me at all that my wife have a college degree!

 

I don't feel "intelligence" is something that can be proven by a degree, and I feel it'll be just mean if I turned down a woman who was amazing in every aspect of her life, but just didn't go to college.

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Thank you guys for your input, so far. Part of the reason I have asked this, aside from my wondering about it over the years, is that I never attended college. I was top 10% in my high school graduating class, and originally thought I'd go but, over the years, I have just realized I prefer to learn things on my own. Since my interests tend to lie in areas that it's not really necessary to have a formal education. I do enjoy learning, though. I just don't enjoy the idea of being in a classroom, or giving presentations.

 

I, myself, feel that it's not absolutely necessary. Unless, of course, you want to become a doctor, or such professions.

 

I don't mind if my husband doesn't make a lot of money, because that's not what love is all about. My main concern is if he is happy in what he is doing. If he is NOT, then he should do something else, or further himself, whatever will make him happy. If he IS, then I am happy. I'd be happy if I could stay home and care for the house, but I have worked before (many many years) but I have found I prefer doing domestic things. These things make me happier, as it turns out.

 

I don't care if we don't have everything we want, as long as we have what we need. If I work outside of the home, I hope that one of our incomes will be for necessities and savings, and the other for extras and savings. I watched this episode of Oprah, once. She asked a variety of couple about their incomes and how they handled money, and how they handled when something went wrong (like losing a job). The ones that both worked, and then they lived off of both incomes, said that they lived wonderful lives, but that when the one lost their job and had a hard time finding another one, they ended up losing their home that they both had worked so hard for. They said it put more stress on their relationship than it really needed to have.

 

There was a finance expert who said it's actually a good idea to live off of one income. Using that income to save (for anything, hardships, even vacations and such) AND pay for stuff, because (in this situation, people tend to forget how much work it is to take care of a home, and children if there are) and that it's equally hard as working outside of the home... some people even argue harder. If both people work outside the home, then the 2nd income should be used for extras (cable tv, vacations, etc) and savings. That way, if either of them lose their job there is always an option to, hopefully, keep the home and make things work by tightening the belts, until another job is gotten.

 

I don't think that education is going to stop bad things from happening, and I don't think it's necessary to be terribly rich to be happy. For me, I'd rather be poor and happy than rich and unhappy... of course, I'm sure anyone would agree that rich (or financially safe) and happy is always good. :) Don't get me wrong. It's nice to have nice things, but if you can find happiness in what you DO have versus being upset about what you DON'T have, you will ultimately be happier.

 

Also, if I find someone who appreciates that I want to care for the home, and be able to work on my art (maybe make money from it, if I'm lucky), or get a part time job, and care for kids (not that I want to be pregnant, or have a desire for kids of my own... though, as I have stated, I like the idea of adopting a slightly older child) if they should become a part of our life. That would be great.

 

I know how to work, and how to be a good employee and, therefore, if I ever NEED to work a regular job I can and will... because I feel that that is supporting HIM as well. That kind of ties into the picking up each other, when needed, in the female-led relationship thread and how I feel about that. Essentially, that it should be equal. Being able to lean on each other, whenever needed.

 

Who knows, maybe I'm too old fashioned. Maybe I'll be alone forever because of this. :) I know that I can support myself financially, when I need/have to. Even without a formal education. At this, singlehood stage, in my life... I'm ok with that.

 

I sometimes wonder, though, if the man I'm intended to marry (if God does, indeed, intend for me to marry) is even what I'm expecting. Or, if it's going to be someone I least expect.

 

And, now, once again, I have rambled on... and am not sure I have made any sense. I guess, to me, the reason I asked is to get other views. My view is simple. FORMAL education is not necessary, or a deal-breaker, for me. However, personal edification is important, because life is all about learning, and figuring out how to solve problems... whether by yourself, or with someone else. Knowing (or learning) HOW to think versus being taught WHAT to think.

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It isn't important at all. In fact, I got pretty tired thinking about what it would be like to live with someone who is seriously invested in STEM fields. The material is brutally boring; Down to Earth and rural or artistic girls only please! :lol:

 

The only way it would work is if the girl in question did an excellent job of separating work from her home life. I definitely don't want to come home just to feel like I'm at work all over again though. :P

 

I do find it weird that a lot of doctors seem to meet their spouses in medical school. It's great to have similar passions but, when I want to spend time with someone I don't want to spend time with their entire office too.

 

Obviously, personality is a lot of it. Some people are pretty strict about keeping work at work. Keeping work away from family is definitely something I admire in a woman.

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I hate to be the voice or descent, but a college degree is pretty much a must for me. I come from a Chinese-American family, so I was always raised with a belief that education was sacred. On the bright side, I don't have anything against a woman without a BA/BS.

However, a woman who never finished or went to college isn't someone I could see myself marrying. Then again, the world is an unpredictable place, so I might meet a nice girl who changed my mind.

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Stephen. It's okay that you feel this way. :) I really did want to see what different feelings there were, and (sure) compare them to mine. lol A lot of people feel the way you do, but I think it's also good that you realize that the world is unpredictable... even if you were to keep this as a 'deal breaker'. Sometimes we can be quite surprised by what is put in front of us.

 

Just as a side note? I think that's what half of the good stuff in life is all about... pleasant surprises. Those serendipitous moments. I love those. Just a thought.

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This question is directed at the guys... but I'm going to answer regardless! Higher education isn't necessarily an absolute requirement for me, but it is a strong preference. Besides, I have a thing for business men, and generally the most common way to those positions is through a degree.

 

... and those suits though!  :wub:

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I hate to be the voice or descent, but a college degree is pretty much a must for me. I come from a Chinese-American family, so I was always raised with a belief that education was sacred. On the bright side, I don't have anything against a woman without a BA/BS.

 

That is why I'm the worst Asian in existence. My family does value education but not to the point where they would threaten to karate chop my spine if I got an A- in science or math. lol.

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That is why I'm the worst Asian in existence. My family does value education but not to the point where they would threaten to karate chop my spine if I got an A- in science or math. lol.

If I got an A- in science or math, as anything more than an anomaly in my grade card, my mom would probably have thrown parties. I was no good at either of those things. I would get decent grades for those subject (Bs, Cs) but I just couldn't do better than that most of the time. I ended up evening out my gpa (to about a 3.7, or higher at times, average) but only because of History and English, and the arts. :) Gym class did NOT help me, either... My gym teachers gave me Bs, for the effort. lol

 

As for family, and education, I have a 'mixed education' family. Some have gone to college, some have not. Some have gone, and not finished. Some do just fine, some barely scrape by, and some are right in the middle. It's not that we don't feel it's important, it's just that it's not for everyone.

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Education is too important for me to not consider. It would bother me if I married a guy who didn't go to college. College opens so many doors and opportunities. It shows dedication and commitment. A hug school diploma isn't cutting it anymore. It's something to fall back on if life doesn't turn out the way you expected. I do understand college is not for everyone and that's okay. There are training, certification and trade schools that are good as well. The guy I'm going to be with has to have some sort of plan and education or training beyond high school.

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I have a college degree, and it's not worth the paper it's printed on.

College doesn't make people smart. It's not any indication of intelligence. A degree from Harvard or Yale only shows that the person had enough money to go to Harvard or Yale.

I don't care if my future wife has a degree or what her IQ is. If she has problems balancing a checkbook, or needs help with anything, I would be happy to help her. As long as she can admit if she needs help, and isn't being reckless, none of that is a big deal. I know that my IQ is relatively high, and quite honestly I wish it wasn't. The higher your IQ goes, the more obsessive compulsive traits you are likely to develop, and the more mental issues you are likely to have.

Intelligence is no substitute for happiness. As far as an acceptable wives or husbands go, the most important thing is love and happiness.

My grandpa always said that smart people cause most of the world's problems.

As the saying goes, "Don't let school interfere with you education."

Harvard and Yale requires high SAT, GPA and being well rrounded. Money doesn't necessarily get you in. In fact all IVY league colleges are need blind. So students are expected to pay nothing if their families make under a certain amount. Getting into these schools is an accomplishment

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I require her to have education. I expect a certain quality of life, and that isn't gained through minimum wage jobs when avoiding schooling for a higher paying job.

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This question is directed at the guys... but I'm going to answer regardless! Higher education isn't necessarily an absolute requirement for me, but it is a strong preference. Besides, I have a thing for business men, and generally the most common way to those positions is through a degree.

 

... and those suits though!  :wub:

Ooh oohh, you like businessmen in suits huh? I have an MBA! Feel free to message me if you feel like ripping off my clothes...err...suit...or whatever I am wearing that day! :D

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I hate to be the voice or descent, but a college degree is pretty much a must for me. I come from a Chinese-American family, so I was always raised with a belief that education was sacred. On the bright side, I don't have anything against a woman without a BA/BS.

However, a woman who never finished or went to college isn't someone I could see myself marrying. Then again, the world is an unpredictable place, so I might meet a nice girl who changed my mind.

 

 

Education is too important for me to not consider. It would bother me if I married a guy who didn't go to college. College opens so many doors and opportunities. It shows dedication and commitment. A hug school diploma isn't cutting it anymore. It's something to fall back on if life doesn't turn out the way you expected. I do understand college is not for everyone and that's okay. There are training, certification and trade schools that are good as well. The guy I'm going to be with has to have some sort of plan and education or training beyond high school.

 

I have to agree with you.  While a college degree isn't necessary for the man I marry, it is something that I prefer.  It gives you a lot of opportunities and is needed for many jobs today.  

 

But I can see the other side as well.  For me, what has best served me in life and jobs is not always what I learned through those degrees hanging on my wall, but through life and work experiences.  It's just that a lot of those doors have been opened due to those experiences through college.  

 

And has been stated - if he doesn't have a degree, he does need to have a plan for his life.  And to realize that learning never stops - books, conferences, trainings, meetings with others, etc - there are ways other than formal classroom education.   

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Interesting topic for me, as I recently left university to explore other options. I may or may not go back in the future, but in the meantime, I don't have a degree so it's interesting to hear your opinions on the matter.

 

I was never really one for school in general. Not because I wasn't good at it, but because I found it boring and non-inclusive of so many aspects of life. Sure, we learn to derivate functions and analyse 19th century literature and understand world politics - all of which are truly important, since they help us build general culture and gain new opportunities in life - but there is so much we don't learn in a classroom. As a child, I used to wish we had classes where we learned to be kind, tolerant, to build our self-esteem, to foster creativity, and so much more. I always felt that school was too logic-oriented and focusing on facts and numbers instead of people.

 

As well as that, I really hope I don't come off as arrogant when I say this but I was identified as gifted when I was a child, and I was also accepted into Mensa last year. I have a massive amount of knowledge about subjects that interest me, as well as about the world in general. One of my father's friends is a university professor, and I've held discussions with him about Mycenaean Greece and the historicity of the Trojan War, and he's always surprised at how much I know. In fact, I always find it funny when people assume I'm uneducated just because I don't have a higher education - and I always enjoy proving them wrong :P

 

What I'm saying is that not everyone who didn't go to college/university is stupid. That said, if a person doesn't study there or leaves because they couldn't be bothered, and would rather work minimum wage with no opportunities for the rest of your life, that's a bad sign. I wouldn't marry someone like that. But there are also intelligent people who don't have a degree, simply because higher education didn't foster the part of their brain they wanted to be fostered. And to be honest, I'd much rather marry someone like that than someone who got a degree just because society expected them to.

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Meh. It depends on what she wants to do in life. If she wants a degree to help further herself in a career or not, I'll support her either way in anyway I can.

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I require her to have education. I expect a certain quality of life, and that isn't gained through minimum wage jobs when avoiding schooling for a higher paying job.

 

 

I agree. Higher paying jobs definitely add to quality of life. 

 

Just to add to the conversation, I am college educated now but I had LOTS of minimum wage jobs prior.  Those skills I learned working benefit me now in all my endeavors.  I learned life skills at those jobs.  I didn't learn those in college.  But I did apply them to college and they made me a better college student.

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Ooh oohh, you like businessmen in suits huh? I have an MBA! Feel free to message me if you feel like ripping off my clothes...err...suit...or whatever I am wearing that day! :D

 

 

haha I'm not sure it works that way.  It's more like feel free to take her out to a nice restaurant, and wine and dine her first. 

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Just to add to the conversation, I am college educated now but I had LOTS of minimum wage jobs prior.  Those skills I learned working benefit me now in all my endeavors.  I learned life skills at those jobs.  I didn't learn those in college.  But I did apply them to college and they made me a better college student.

 

I don't think anyone here is saying that minimum-wage jobs are uniformly bad; I've been working a minimum wage job throughout my time in college, and I definitely don't feel like I'm 'above' such a position. I'd recommend it to any student, because like you said, there are some skills that you learn through working a job (particular a service-industry job, *shudder*) that you can't learn in a classroom.

 

However, what I would not be OK with is someone who is content to work low hourly-wage jobs for the entirety of their lives. It's OK if you're just starting out, or if you've hit a rough patch and need to fall back on something, but, ultimately, I want to live a lifestyle you cannot possibly support by working at minimum wage.

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I want to live a lifestyle you cannot possibly support by working at minimum wage.

 

 

Agreed!  It was possible to live off minimum wage but it was extremely hard and NOT ideal!  I respect those who are willing to do what it takes to succeed in life.

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