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What's the Hardest Part about being a girl?

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Hey girls,

I have another question: What's the hardest part for you about being a girl? I mean is there a certain thing that you feel is required to do, being a girl, but you have much difficulty in doing it or something like that?

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Yes! I was just "out" for the first time in awhike and realized how sad it is how girls half dress themselves to get a guy. Its 25 degrees out! You can wear sonethibg cute and dont have to be slutty to get a guy. It was so sad. Like sone of the girls it looked like gave of the vibe "have sex with meeee" ;( like why do that? Youre woth more and you should know it. They dance as though theyre having sex and wear things short enough; its hard to tell if theyre wearing underwear!!! Holy cow!

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Yes! I was just "out" for the first time in awhike and realized how sad it is how girls half dress themselves to get a guy. Its 25 degrees out! You can wear sonethibg cute and dont have to be slutty to get a guy. It was so sad. Like sone of the girls it looked like gave of the vibe "have sex with meeee" ;( like why do that? Youre woth more and you should know it. They dance as though theyre having sex and wear things short enough; its hard to tell if theyre wearing underwear!!! Holy cow!

Hi Sally! :) I kind of agree with what you're saying... I guess I just want to add a slight distinction. I think it's sad when girls dress thas way when they would rather not but think they HAVE to dress that way to get a guy. That is sad. But if a girl genuinely wants to dress that way because that's just her personal style, I don't think there's anything sad or wrong about that. I've been known to wear tight low cut backless tops etc. in the freezing cold (I know I can look cute and sexy in something less revealing, but I genuinely like wearing those kinds of tops) and dance "as though I'm having sex" (I've discussed this in the Grinding thread). The difference for me is that I'm doing all of this because I want to and I'm comfortable with it, versus doing that because I feel I have no other option if I want guys to find me attractive. At the end of the night, I don't go home with anyone and I'm still very much WTM. And there are plenty of girls who will dress more conservatively but sleep around a lot.

Even though I don't think you meant your words as a blanket comdemnation of all girls who dress a certain way (at least I hope you didn't ;) ), I still wanted to put my two cents in for the sake of any WTM girls out there who might rock a painted-on miniskirt while grinding on the dance floor now and again. B)

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No i didnt mean it as a blanket condemnation. Ive worn dresses when its warm out-above the knee, spaghetti straps because i love them :) yeah i do grind once in awhile, but its not as fun as with friends because im always on watch for the guys hands.....if you catch my drift :P sorry if it came out bad but its especially bad at my school. Some girls in my class who are in sororities told me that there are tiers of them (its rush right now) and it doesnt matter except for some frats who like being fratty and only want to socialize with the "top tier" girls. Isnt that ridiculous?!? I know greek life at other schools isnt that bad, but agh.

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For me its the double tax, of being a minority and a woman who wants a career. There aren't to many man who want to take orders from a woman. And as you travel further into the corporate world, people my color are disappearing left and right :( it is extremely disheartening

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All of what you just said w4mp!!! Luckily im in educstion, which is female dominated, but i was worried about how it would be if i picked something else...

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No worries, Sally! biggrin.gif I know you well enough to know that you didn't mean it in a bad way. My input was more for other WTM girls who follow the forums who might not know you well and who might have felt alienated by the post without the added context. wink.gif

And yeah, that sorority situation does sound rough at your school. Glad I avoided that kind of nit picky superficiality in the Greek scene at my school. Phew!

As for my answer to the original question in this thread: For me, the hardest part about being a girl is having a biological clock with an expiration date. Men can have kids into very old age but women aren't so lucky. Consequently, I get really excited everytime I hear about a 40+ woman giving birth or having biological kids through a surrogate.

And to echo W4MP, the career thing is difficult too. I feel I've discussed this at length in some other threads, so I won't beat a dead horse here. Suffice it to say, I still don't think it's fair that men can have a career and a family and no one bats an eyelash, but women are made to feel like they have to choose. We can't have our cake and eat it too, apparently.

And also, with regard to a woman having a career, I don't think women get a fair shake regarding how they're supposed to act at work. If we're too "feminine" (whatever that means...), then we're written off as being weak pushovers who can't keep up with the men. But if we're tough, then we're written off as being bitchy and man-ish. It's a lose/lose.

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Hey girls,

I have another question: What's the hardest part for you about being a girl? I mean is there a certain thing that you feel is required to do, being a girl, but you have much difficulty in doing it or something like that?

  • Looks are very, very, very important
  • The media has sexualized us to a point where sometimes I feel like I have no real worth as a human being because I am not tall with slender curves and awesome boobs
  • A lot of men out there just don't treat us right
  • Pressure to have sex
  • Pressure to look a certain way
  • I feel like we are basically just sex objects nowadays

The pressure to look a certain way is AWFUL. I am 5'3.5" and a size 12. I would kill a cat to be 115lbs, but I'm too big-boned to ever get there anyways.

I don't feel any pressure to have a certain personality though. On the inside, I can be whoever I want to be. I can act however I want to.

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Also, do you gals ever feel like your needs/dreams/wants/desires arent considered as important? At least with respect to WTM, even girls are like "its so much harder for guys...." WAIT! Isnt it hard for us too? Are we like asexual and only do something when our husband "needs/wants" to? Im sorry but that sounds like the women of The Help talking from 1963!

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TD, im personally not worried about a biological clock. Youre about my age right? So 40-21 is 19 years!!! I think we'll be fine ;) at least for me, i believe whats meant to be will happen; God will get us where he wants us, even thoigh we might hit some speed bumps along the way !

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the hardest part about being a girl is in life we'll always lose or so it seems like men have all these options and when I'm married yeah that will bother me because I'm traditional and conservative and my husband is getting to see everything on all these beautiful women that'll make him want to stray and I'm a fairly decent-looking girl so it has nothing to do with confidence issues it's just I know that sometimes people like to cross the line and see what they can get away with even if I, personally, know what it is my husband is still man and has the mindset of a man so yeah it's disheartening

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Don't worry OHG!! Not all guys have that mentality trust me!! I won't say that some don't, but the ones who do have it are usually easy to spot and you can just move on and not waste your time. I would argue that the mindset of a man differs from man to man...if that makes any sense lol B)

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Bahaha it does!!! Definitly differs woman to woman too! There are girl at my school lookibg for certian frat, or job, or $ or looks, or religion or whatever....

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As for my answer to the original question in this thread: For me, the hardest part about being a girl is having a biological clock with an expiration date. Men can have kids into very old age but women aren't so lucky. Consequently, I get really excited everytime I hear about a 40+ woman giving birth or having biological kids through a surrogate.

Actually, as guys get older, the quality of their sperm declines, so the incidence of babies with abnormalities increases. They may still be able to get a woman pregnant, but it's with sub-par sperm.

And to echo W4MP, the career thing is difficult too. I feel I've discussed this at length in some other threads, so I won't beat a dead horse here. Suffice it to say, I still don't think it's fair that men can have a career and a family and no one bats an eyelash, but women are made to feel like they have to choose. We can't have our cake and eat it too, apparently.

This is true. But, you just keep doing you. You can have your cake & eat it too. You just may have to snatch it from the sexist misogynist holding it hostage. Lol.

And also, with regard to a woman having a career, I don't think women get a fair shake regarding how they're supposed to act at work. If we're too "feminine" (whatever that means...), then we're written off as being weak pushovers who can't keep up with the men. But if we're tough, then we're written off as being bitchy and man-ish. It's a lose/lose. Even though I'll probably be seen as more the pushover type since both at school and in jobs I've had in the past, I usually let people walk all over me, I kind of like the idea of someday unleashing my inner bitch because, as Tina Fey said, "Bitches get stuff done!".

I wear "girly" stuff all the time. At first, it got me looked over by certain staff, but once they see you handling business & doing your job, a lot of that goes away...Or, they get more discreet about looking. As long as they don't touch me or say anything inappropriate I can handle it. I like dresses, heals, & pearls. I don't see why I can't do my job & look good too. Lol. I have addressed problems as a lady in my professional life. You don't have to release your inner "B" to get respect. You just have to own your stuff, know your job, & step-over your fear to address other people in a respectful manner. Sometimes, I say a prayer before I address a superior: a doctor, professor, etc. It can be a little nerve racking, but what I learned was that a little assertiveness goes a long way...&, A good reputation precedes an individual just as fast as a bad one.

I addressed one doctor in front of his superior & co-workers about a problem that I had with the way that he was handling some course-work. I prayed first & tried to not disrespect him. I thought that He would gun me down in my clinicals. But, to the contrary, I'm on good terms with him & the doctors who were present when I addressed him. It doesn't always turn-out this way...But, it's hard to not respect someone who knows how to tell you the truth about your errors in a respectful, non-judgmental manner.

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the hardest part about being a girl is in life we'll always lose or so it seems like men have all these options and when I'm married yeah that will bother me because I'm traditional and conservative and my husband is getting to see everything on all these beautiful women that'll make him want to stray and I'm a fairly decent-looking girl so it has nothing to do with confidence issues it's just I know that sometimes people like to cross the line and see what they can get away with even if I, personally, know what it is my husband is still man and has the mindset of a man so yeah it's disheartening

ohhhh OGH, I kinda got sad reading this. Not all men are like this, promise. Many? I guess. All? No. I will be honest, in the workplace there are many visual temptations, and if a guy looks hard enough there will probably be "options". But, like DD said, a decent guy doesn't have that "mindset".

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Im glad you said that TG because honestly my worst fear would be my husband cheating. I just dont know if i could work it out id be so devastated. Like why couldnt we talk about whatever it was?

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Its just so sad :( i was reading some of 5 love languages (reg not singles edition) and i realky believe if everyone read it and tried doing SOME of whst it said, relationships would be a LOT better nowadays

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For me its the double tax, of being a minority and a woman who wants a career. There aren't to many man who want to take orders from a woman. And as you travel further into the corporate world, people my color are disappearing left and right :( it is extremely disheartening

THIS ^

For me too. A minority and a woman who wants a career. Yes, that is sad, because the more I think about it, I actually think I'll make a terrible "mother", but a pretty damn good "father". I think it has something to do with the way my dad raised me; I only have one sibling, a sister, and I think that my Dad sort of pushed his 'son' aspirations onto me instead. You know, he's always harping on me to get a great career (I'm in computer science, which is 4/5 made up of males... and *he's* also the reason why I'm in it), and be aggressive at work so I can get managerial positions, and that once I start earning money, I should put them in stocks and bonds, and invest like mad. And he's always telling me that if I want to be a CEO, I should be a CEO (*wink wink nudge nudge*).

And this has been going on for such a long time, that I think these ideas have been integrated into my dreams, so it's not like I can say no; I want them now too. Quite strongly, too. And like you said, there might not be many men who want to marry women who are above them in the corporate world. But it's not like I'm going to give up my dreams for a man. I know I sound terribly shallow when I say that, but at this point in time, I can't imagine myself doing so.

To answer the question though, apart from this, I think the other girls have already nailed them on the head. Many people don't really take women seriously at work, especially in male-dominated fields, and many people don't think a woman can be a family woman and a career woman at the same time.

Also, you're always labelled. You're either the girly, sexy girl who loves to do girly stuff, or you're the kick-ass tomboy who has a sharp tongue and knows how to put a man in his place. I'm neither. I'm like... right in the middle of the spectrum. I don't do anything girly, and I don't do anything tomboy-ish.

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And like you said, there might not be many men who want to marry women who are above them in the corporate world. But it's not like I'm going to give up my dreams for a man. I know I sound terribly shallow when I say that, but at this point in time, I can't imagine myself doing so.

Agreed! Also, I don't think you sound shallow at all. Never give up your dreams for anything or anyone!

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And like you said, there might not be many men who want to marry women who are above them in the corporate world. But it's not like I'm going to give up my dreams for a man. I know I sound terribly shallow when I say that, but at this point in time, I can't imagine myself doing so.

Whose to say that you won't end-up with a guy in the same socioeconomic bracket & professional field? There's a reason doctors marry other doctors & nurses, & lawyers marry other lawyers & paralegals. It's because they spend a lot of time around them. The same way that kids who attend the same high school or the same college end-up dating. Odds are, a guy will probably ask you out from your field. So, you may not even have to worry about that :)

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sex objects yes, guys look at us like a piece of meat or just a machine to get a good feeling, and that bad thing is most modern girls have folded to it with there minnie skirts and there sluttish behavior, men pushed the femail race in to being sluts because they wanted sex machines, and then criticizer the women who where to week to say no for something they did in the first place! it annoys me.

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Don't worry OHG!! Not all guys have that mentality trust me!! I won't say that some don't, but the ones who do have it are usually easy to spot and you can just move on and not waste your time. I would argue that the mindset of a man differs from man to man...if that makes any sense lol B)

good post Dodgedude! I agree I guess the answer lies in this site as they are some very respectful young gentlemen that still exist! I applaud you fellows!

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Actually, as guys get older, the quality of their sperm declines, so the incidence of babies with abnormalities increases. They may still be able to get a woman pregnant, but it's with sub-par sperm.

This is true. But, you just keep doing you. You can have your cake & eat it too. You just may have to snatch it from the sexist misogynist holding it hostage. Lol.

I wear "girly" stuff all the time. At first, it got me looked over by certain staff, but once they see you handling business & doing your job, a lot of that goes away...Or, they get more discreet about looking. As long as they don't touch me or say anything inappropriate I can handle it. I like dresses, heals, & pearls. I don't see why I can't do my job & look good too. Lol. I have addressed problems as a lady in my professional life. You don't have to release your inner "B" to get respect. You just have to own your stuff, know your job, & step-over your fear to address other people in a respectful manner. Sometimes, I say a prayer before I address a superior: a doctor, professor, etc. It can be a little nerve racking, but what I learned was that a little assertiveness goes a long way...&, A good reputation precedes an individual just as fast as a bad one.

You go girl! I have a lot of admiration for you and your sister, Abi! I actually wanted to ask this question as it's been a concern of mine since I"m about to finish college and enter the professional world. I always wondered how I should dress because, like you, I"m very girly and feminine and like to get doll'd up the downside is it can be distracting for a female to be doll'd up so sometimes I worried how I could maintain being a professional women and have respect to where, even though I am a young girl, the things I'd bring for the company would be appreciated and included. So this really helps a lot! Thank you Abi!

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ohhhh OGH, I kinda got sad reading this. Not all men are like this, promise. Many? I guess. All? No. I will be honest, in the workplace there are many visual temptations, and if a guy looks hard enough there will probably be "options". But, like DD said, a decent guy doesn't have that "mindset".

:) ya'll never cease to make me smile :)

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he was tempted several times by "another" woman. Don't wanna go into too much detail, heaven forbid something happened and he stumbled across this (yes, I'm that paranoid).

hahah oh ThatGuy you are too funny!! haha roflhmho!

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