Phoenix25

Finding a Soulmate

17 posts in this topic

Assuming you are waiting and are a virgin abstaining from all fornication and you expect your soulmate to be the same for you, How do you go about searching for your soulmate?

 

It seems like its an almost impossible quest when you expect your soulmate to be doing the same: a virgin that is abstaining from all fornication. 

Do you date random people and take a chance like a person might do with the lottery? What about all the emotional and time investment you would make only to discover that person wasn't doing the same?

 

I know for sure that I couldn't accept a girl that wasn't doing the same for me. I know there's no easy way to find a soulmate and sometimes I do wonder if I'll be alone for life.

 

 
Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:10-13, New Living Translation  https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2031:10-31&version=NLT

 

 

 

 

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What about all the emotional and time investment you would make only to discover that person wasn't doing the same?

 

Are you dating a vagina or woman?

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Are you dating a vagina or woman?

 

It's important to date a woman that is compatible. Virginity is more than just a hymen or not having had vaginal intercourse. I couldn't seriously date or marry woman that wasn't doing the same. There is nothing wrong with rejecting someone if you know it won't work out in the end. 

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I think this touches on something important. There seems to be this assumption that your soul mate must have always waited.

 

I used to think this way. But as I mature and learn about people more and more, I no longer find myself supporting this notion. I think God will not necessarily give you what you'd WANT, rather what you'd NEED.

 

I honestly don't think one goes out to find their soul mate. I think it will happen unexpectedly.

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Some people have this notion that their soul mate will just show themselves to you and you will know that this is your soul mate by this great extravagant scene like in the movies. Real life is not as "BOOM, In Your Face!"with things like this.

But there are things you can do to to be proactive in your search. Joining clubs that interest you, at your church you attend, things that you enjoy so you meet people that share your interest.

And like PaulJustPaul noted, I believe as well that God will show your soul mate to you when the time is right and will someone who will complete you :)

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I don't really like the idea of one person being "the one" or "meant for you." What if that person passes away? If you remarry after that, is the next person your real soulmate? I think soul mates are made, not born. Meaning that if your are in a relationship where the feelings are mutual and you both put your full effort into that relationship, that person can become your "soulmate." While I do believe that God definitely has a part in it, I believe that free will plays an important role as well. 

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It's important to date a woman that is compatible. Virginity is more than just a hymen or not having had vaginal intercourse. I couldn't seriously date or marry woman that wasn't doing the same. There is nothing wrong with rejecting someone if you know it won't work out in the end. 

 

It's like saying "if you ever put on make-up it means you are vain it I don't want to date vain people."

 

The problem isn't whether or not they've put on make-up (or had sex). It's their priorities. Appreciation of one's future spouse, respect, empathy and purity are not characteristics specific to virgins.

 

It seems like there's some characteristics you equate to virginity. It would serve you well to figure out what those are.

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It's okay to want a virgin and to also be a virgin waiting until marriage.  But "soulmates" is what is so difficult to define and may not involve virginity status.  Virginity is not necessarily tied to the soul but to the body.

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If you want to find love, you have to be worthy of it. Are you dedicated enough?

 

I can't define myself as a virgin or a waiter till marriage. I'm someone who believes in true love, and through that, I'm waiting till marriage being a virgin.

 

Also, to me, virginity does not come from abstaining yourself from any sort of engagement that's sexual.

 

Virginity is in the mind, in your head, not between your legs. A woman or man who's not a virgin in her/his head but a virgin between her/his legs/physically is no less than someone who is NOT a virgin.

 

A 'non-virgin' (physically) who is a virgin in mind is labeled like that and that's wrong. Every; raped girl, girl born without a hymen, girl whose hymen broke during some physical activity or whatever reason not related to any sort of sexual activity, IS A VIRGIN.

 

I'm sure you will find her. The life you live will draw a path before you, deciding which people you will meet. Your soulmate is in your reach, on that path, or, she's not. YOU will decide who it is, your ACTIONS will decide how your soulmate will be like, no God, no fate, no power. It's your destiny.

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I don't really like the idea of one person being "the one" or "meant for you." What if that person passes away? If you remarry after that, is the next person your real soulmate? I think soul mates are made, not born. Meaning that if your are in a relationship where the feelings are mutual and you both put your full effort into that relationship, that person can become your "soulmate." While I do believe that God definitely has a part in it, I believe that free will plays an important role as well. 

 

I tried finding the source but failed. It stated the idea of the soulmate originated from the idea/myth that the gods split humans into halves - one male one female - and that they could only be happy/fulfilled if they were with their soulmate. Thus the endless search for one's other half and the notion that should the union become difficult/unhappy at some point then that person must not have been one's soulmate so one leaves that person and continues the dreary search.....

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I tried finding the source but failed. It stated the idea of the soulmate originated from the idea/myth that the gods split humans into halves - one male one female - and that they could only be happy/fulfilled if they were with their soulmate. Thus the endless search for one's other half and the notion that should the union become difficult/unhappy at some point then that person must not have been one's soulmate so one leaves that person and continues the dreary search.....

I believe that's from Symposium by Plato. 

 

Edit: Yup just looked it up. It's from the section on Aristophanes's speech. I knew that Philosophy 101 elective I took in undergrad would come in handy some day!  :P

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I tried finding the source but failed. It stated the idea of the soulmate originated from the idea/myth that the gods split humans into halves - one male one female - and that they could only be happy/fulfilled if they were with their soulmate. Thus the endless search for one's other half and the notion that should the union become difficult/unhappy at some point then that person must not have been one's soulmate so one leaves that person and continues the dreary search.....

 

I believe that's from Symposium by Plato. 

 

Edit: Yup just looked it up. It's from the section on Aristophanes's speech. I knew that Philosophy 101 elective I took in undergrad would come in handy some day!  :P

 

Yup, it is from Symposium. And it actually posits that they original humans existed in three genders: one that was all male (male/male), one that was all female (female/female), and one that was androgynous (female/male). The women who came from the all female gender have a female other half, the men who came from the all male gender have a male other half, and the people who came from the androgynous gender have another half who belongs to the opposite sex. I've always thought the idea was rather beautiful.  :wub:

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I don't believe in soulmates.

I mean, I trust God and the plans that He has for me. When the time is right, I trust that I will find a guy who complements me, and I will complement him too. He will have what I lack, and I will have what he lacks. He will value how I am, and I will value how he is. He will love me as much as I can love him. Who knows when this will happen, though. Meanwhile, I choose to improve myself by becoming more mature, growing intellectually and emotionally, advancing my career and working out.

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I'm not sure about soulmates, and I definitely don't believe in "the one". As my luck would have it, if there was only one for me he was likely hit by a bus by now.

 

I do believe in different levels of compatible people and yes, you have to actively get out there and look. No one is going to magically appear on your doorstep. That would freak me out anyway. Give me some warning so I can put on some pants.

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I believe that everyone has a soulmate but I also believe that few (if any) people ever actually find their soulmate.  I believe you should be looking for someone you believe is compatible to you.  But, if you believe your only chance at happiness is finding the one correct person who already shares your exact set of ideals and beliefs, then you are dooming yourself for failure.  

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Personally, I think we make our own soulmate from what we get, as opposed to having someone "destined" for us.  While I believe God plays a part in who we meet, I don't believe he has someone special for every single one of us.  After all, he does value our free will, and one of the consequences of free will is that there are very few relationships with the perfect harmony that two "soulmates" are expected to have.

As for what the OP said about finding a fellow virgin, you have to be careful what you pray for.  Do you want God to lead you to a virgin woman who turns out to be horrible person in other aspects of her life?  On the other hand, what if you pray to God and ask him to lead you to an amazing woman, but she turns out to have a bit of a past that she regrets? In the end, what do you value more, and what does God want you to value more?

I'm bringing up these things because I worry about them myself, and I rarely pray to God about wanting a certain kind of person *specifically* because I don't have my priorities straight.  :P

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I'm sure my soulmate is out there (I hope). She'd have to see something special in me because it seems those of the female gender don't even pick me up on the radar either as boyfriend material or even friend material. It gets frustrating & tiring over this apathy.

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