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wny

Do you like the Process of Waiting or is it All/More About the End Result?

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Hey,

So, as the topic suggests, I'm wondering whether people like waiting, or just simply like what they want the final result will be (either making it to the altar a virgin, staying a virgin and marrying a virgin, achieving your goal to wait even if you're not a virgin, ect....) Is that what mostly drives you? The end result?

Or, do you actually like process of waiting? Do you feel the process of waiting on sex makes you a more patient person? Do you like that you've possibly saved yourself from sleeping with someone you'd look back on and regret sleeping with? Happy you potentially avoided heartbreak? Happy that the process of waiting is morally correct according to your religion?

Of course the answer can be a combination of both, but do you favor one over the other?

To give my answer, it's definitely more about the end result. The actual process of waiting is very stressful to me. Since part of my waiting also entails insisting my wife has also abstained from what I'm abstaining from (meaning she's a virgin who has never made out), waiting limits my dating pool significantly. Furthermore, waiting means I have to funnel everything I'm looking for in a woman into one woman since I'll only have sex with one woman, thus further shrinking the pool. The process of waiting gives me a ton of anxiety about possibly being single forever.

Furthermore, a lot of the potential benefits of the process aren't that significant to me. For instance, I don't think I'd be willy-nilly about who I slept with even if I weren't a waiter, so I don't think the benefit of regrettig a past sexual partner applies all that much. Also, I don't consider myself too sensitive about things like heartbreak, so I'm not sure having slept with an ex would depress me that much more in the case of a breakup.

Anyway, those are my thoughts. I'm curious to hear how it is for others.

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Hmmm, that is a good question. On one hand, for me, it is about the end result. I believe my future husband (should God see fit that I marry) is worth every man I haven't slept with. I, ALSO, believe all of my reasons for waiting are more than just that. I enjoy not worrying so much about some health issues. I know that I have avoided some major heartbreaks by not giving that part of myself. There's so much more I could probably answer to this question, but I hope this short one will suffice. :)

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For me, it's just as much about the process. The thing is, I know most folks who wait tend to fixate on the end result. It is important to hope and dream about your future spouse and wedding, but to me waiting is just as much about my walk with God. It's about honoring Him, not just waiting for the Big Payoff. Who knows? I might never get married. Then what? Get angry with God for not delivering on the "promise" I think He made to me for being the "good girl"? I don't know, but I just think that abstaining from sex while single should be about more than just hoping to win the Ultimate Prize. Not that anyone is wrong for feeling the way they do! These are just my own feelings on the matter.

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I don't care about the end result. I'm waiting because I do enjoy the process of waiting. And if I don't ever get married or have sex it wouldn't affect me one bit.

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I think; (and this is just my thought at this moment in time as I still have a lot of life to live), that during that journey of waiting you look more often to the end result of what that journey leads to. But if that means for you getting married and you reach that, I think it's then when you appreciate that journey you took to get there most.

Of course, not everyone marries although majority of people do. But I think either way, through it you learn so much about sacrifice, and what love truly means at its core even when you aren't with anyone. And that in itself can draw you towards those in your life you love. Not saying the journey is always easy, sometimes it's frustrating, and challenging, and difficult, and even ugly at times, but what's life without at least one adventurous journey where you will be able to say you did something out of the ordinary?

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I wouldnt say that I 'enjoy' the process, but it isn't difficult for me.   The hardest part (for me) about waiting is wondering if there will be someone there to have an 'end-result' with.

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I also don't know if "enjoy" is the right word. But I am thankful for the wait. It has given me character and it's a time where I can learn and grow as a person. I'm also fairly certain that before now I was much to selfish to be in a relationship even if I didn't think so at the time. Time brings clarity. 

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I'm already in love with her, but I don't know who it is yet.

 

 

 

 

The moment I heard my first love story, I started looking for you

Not knowing how blind that was

 

Lovers don't finally meet somewhere

They are in each other all along.

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