Jasmine23

Could You....

33 posts in this topic

I know a few people with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) my self including. My OCD isn't as severe as some. Others can't really mask theirs while I can actually mask mine to a certain extent.

Some can't finish their day if they don't do something in the exact same order as they have done before.... such as blinking 5 times when he or she wakes up, tapping his or her feet left right left left before he or she stands or for me making sure I walk a certain pattern and speed before stepping on a crack in the ground or line in the floor or tapping my fingers a specific way to name a few.....

My question is.... could you or would you court/date and or marry someone with OCD? Why or why not?

6 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would have no problem dating someone with OCD (I have a mild form of it myself where I have to align everything with each other), but would find it difficult to maintain a relationship if they had it to such an extent that it had debilitating effects on their everyday life.  

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would. Simply because I suffer from it, to a mild extent, and feel it's one of those things that I shouldn't hold against someone else.

 

I do small things to fight mine. Such as keeping my pajamas and underclothing in a dresser, while hanging everything else up. This is for two reasons. I hate things not being neat in the drawers, and my clothing has to be sorted and folded a specific way. I hang most of it up because it helps me keep my sanity. I don't worry as much about them being kept neat, if they are hanging up... and it also allows me to keep them in the correct order system. However, the pajamas and underclothing... I keep these folded, and when I pull something out, and everything gets a little mussed up, I leave it alone and fight the urge to straighten it up. Doing this with PJs and underclothes because nobody sees them, they don't have to be neat. So, even though I feel the need to keep them neat, I can rationalize myself down from that worry.

 

When I use the stove/oven, and then have to leave the house, I am compelled to check it at least 3 times to convince myself it is off. Sometimes 5.

 

My obsessive things are more related to thoughts. Which are a bit harder to control, but I manage.

 

These are just a few things.

 

If I ever can't manage it on my own, I will get help. My mom told me that my symptoms are bad enough that her counselor (who has never met me) told her that I have what sounds like OCD, vs what my mom has... which is OSP.

 

My only thought against it would be if they either A. don't try and fight it and B. if it gets to where the can't fight it, if they won't get help. There's nothing wrong with suffering from anything. It's when we refuse to get help, if it's something that we can get help for and can't help ourselves that I see a problem with.

 

I hope I was able to express my thoughts clearly. :)

4 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think I would because I believe everybody has something they have to do a certain way or do throughout the day.

Besides, I think I may have it a little bit.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

One of my favorite historical figures is Nikola Tesla. He had pretty severe OCD... He couldn't stand to touch hair. If his unusual fear of hair touching wasn't a problem and he didn't destroy his sexuality like he claimed, I would have dated him if I was born in the 1850's. :D I think I am drawn to people with number OCD because my WTM friend has to reduce numbers down to the smallest form or some mathematical thing when he sees certain numbers. This doesn't bother me at all; it's actually pretty cool. But even though that OCD may be severe in his mind, he can hide that.

Checking ovens 5 times is fine. Folding clothes is fine. Walking around a building 3 times or a block like Nikola is fine. I agree with everyone else. I have mild OCD. I've met women with terrible cleaning OCD where they won't even let a crumb be present. EVER.

It just depends on the severity and if they get hostile from something going wrong.

Good thread, Jasmine.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You girls are definitely awesome. I didn't realize how many has it or even a mild case of it.

And thank you ragtagandbobtail! :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sure. I have OCD, and it has really ruined a lot of things about my life. Believing that I couldn't find a practicing Catholic virgin. Believing that no woman could love me because of my character flaws. Being unable to control behavior that is seen as strange to the women I have known, and losing self-respect due to rejection. Some people have mild forms, and some people have forms that are so insignificant that it wouldn't even be classified as OCD.

 

If somebody feels the need to check the stove multiple times to make sure it is off, that in and of itself wouldn't be considered OCD. When you HAVE checked it multiple times, clearly remember that it was off, and are STILL worried about it to an extent that it is impacting your life, THAT is OCD.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You girls are definitely awesome. I didn't realize how many has it or even a mild case of it.

And thank you ragtagandbobtail! :D

 

I didn't either! I actually never paid much attention to 'severe' OCD until I read about Nikola and realized people were actually having issues and on medication for OCD, which surprised me. So it's not something I research.

 

 

Sure. I have OCD, and it has really ruined a lot of things about my life. Believing that I couldn't find a practicing Catholic virgin. Believing that no woman could love me because of my character flaws. Being unable to control behavior that is seen as strange to the women I have known, and losing self-respect due to rejection. Some people have mild forms, and some people have forms that are so insignificant that it wouldn't even be classified as OCD.

 

If somebody feels the need to check the stove multiple times to make sure it is off, that in and of itself wouldn't be considered OCD. When you HAVE checked it multiple times, clearly remember that it was off, and are STILL worried about it to an extent that it is impacting your life, THAT is OCD.

 

Well yes, the former would be just bad memory problems LOL! My brother is the latter, though. He told me about this and I never realized he had OCD until last week. He thinks it's an issue but I don't see it as being that bad. I think for the person WITH OCD it will seem more troublesome, though, even in a mild case.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

He thinks it's an issue but I don't see it as being that bad. I think for the person WITH OCD it will seem more troublesome, though, even in a mild case.

 

I can assure you that it is an issue, even if it doesn't appear as such to an outsider.

 

For example, when I was at work, at a grocery store, numerous good-looking women would show up, and I worked with some good-looking women that I got along with to some extent.

 

It got so bad that, in my head, I would be thinking, in a never-ending monologue:

 

Good looking lady. You should say hello. She couldn't be interested in you. She's not a virgin or waiting for marriage. She looks good, but she's still just a part of the scenery. Why can't her kind be interested in me? She'd just make fun of me like the other women that I've known. She couldn't possibly understand what it's like to be me. She's had sex with countless guys, but her husband wouldn't have a chance. She's got an extremely high divorce rate. She couldn't care for her husband. He was never anything more than a means to an end. The guys that she had sex with were the ones she was interested in. She won't have sex with her husband because he is nothing like the guys she was attracted to. She could never be attracted to me. But still, she's a good looking lady; why aren't I talking to her.......

 

This would go on in my head for HOURS at a time. It would slow down my work, and make me frustrated. It was having a major impact on the quality of my work. Sometimes it would make me physically sick. Nobody watching would have the slightest idea.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've also experienced various compulsive tendencies. When it was at its most severe, I would be continuously checking my closet, under my bed, and under my desk for intruders. I also check and re-check to make sure that my door is locked more often than is probably normal. And, like others have said, intrusive thoughts are really the worst part of it all.

 

I would date someone who has similar issues, but it would have to be at least reasonably in check (as mine is).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The random thoughts are the worst. It doesn't even have to be about anything specific. Like right now the word "the" just keeps repeating itself..... it took me a long time to write this.....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've also experienced various compulsive tendencies. When it was at its most severe, I would be continuously checking my closet, under my bed, and under my desk for intruders. I also check and re-check to make sure that my door is locked more often than is probably normal. And, like others have said, intrusive thoughts are really the worst part of it all.

 

I would date someone who has similar issues, but it would have to be at least reasonably in check (as mine is).

 

It is important to keep it in check. Some people are so bad that they can't get out of bed or leave their house without extreme discomfort. Granted, I have never been that bad, but OCD could easily be a debilitating condition. It's tragic how much people misunderstand mental issues. If somebody was physically unable to leave their house, everybody would be understanding. If somebody is too obsessive-compulsive to leave their house, people will think of them as dangerous or "crazy". People also wouldn't make fun of a person in a wheelchair, but will make fun of somebody who is considered retarded. And that's just wrong.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow you all have really enlightened me on this issue. I didn't realize thoughts could be that intense with OCD. I usually can get rid of something like that by deep breaths and focusing, but now you're really putting it into perspective for me.

 

Jasmine, why the word the? Or do you not know? I'm curious to know more about this.

 

Dave, it sounds terrible to have thoughts like that, especially without knowing the people you talk about, and especially since it interrupts your working. Hopefully things will improve for you!

 

Steadfast, how did you get your OCD in check? Was it meds?

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There are varying degrees of it. From what I have read, anyway. Most people will experience a trait of it during some point in their lives, but then there is even OCP. Then, progressively varying degrees of OCD. It's not fun to experience, but it is fascinating to learn about. I feel fortunate that I, so far, have been able to keep it under control... most of the time. The one big experience I had was the ONE time I actually called my mom from work to ask her to go check my stove for me, because even with the counting, I couldn't convince myself that everything was ok. She traveled across town for me. I was prepared to go home, taking a cut in pay for that week, to check. She knew that, so she agreed.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Steadfast, how did you get your OCD in check? Was it meds?

 

For me, at least, my compulsive tendencies got way worse when I was dealing with particularly stressful and sad things in my life. So by working on the underlying cause of the sadness and stress, I was able to better deal with the compulsions. That, and plain ol' forcing myself to resit giving in to the compulsions. In my experience, each time I gave into a compulsion, it would make the urge to check again even worse. I don't let myself check anything more than twice, now. It's too easy for just once, to become just twice, which becomes just three times, etc, etc.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Jasmine, why the word the? Or do you not know? I'm curious to know more about this.[/font][/size]

I'm not sure. I could just sit here or be half asleep and a word any word would just over take my mind and if I can't think of something else or stop it I just feel like screaming and or crying. I find that if I just write the word or phrase it helps a little.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah sure. I am the king when it comes to OCD. So when both partners have it they can understand each other 100%. Not everyone understands it. Even in my own family. They think it is all in the mind and can easily be dealt with. It is not something you can simply "knock off". 

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A good description (granted it is dealing with it as it relates to kids) is here: http://www.ocdeducationstation.org/recognizing-ocd-at-school/how-ocd-affects-studies-and-grades

 

Stolen shamelessly from this site is another good representation, similar in nature to the one I posted above (it deals with a kid in grade school).

 

 


Uh-oh. What if I forgot my homework for the next class?  I think it’s in my book bag.  But I don’t know for sure.  I thought it was in my book bag, but it might not be.  I think I checked last night, but maybe I moved it.  If it’s not there, I’ll get in trouble and nobody will understand that I forgot it.  They might think I did that on purpose.  I did the work, but I didn’t pack it in the bag.  Wait...maybe I didn’t actually DO my homework.  What if I forgot to do it last night?  Oh, no.  Now I really WILL be in trouble.  I might not have done it.  Only bad students don’t do their homework.  I must be bad.  I can’t look in my book bag to see if my homework is there because the bag is in my locker.  Did I forget my homework?  What if I did forget it...now I’m in trouble.  I’m going to get punished.  I wish I had done my homework.  If I could only check and see if maybe it really IS in my book bag.  Ooooh.  But what if my book bag isn’t in my locker?  Did I forget my book bag?  No, I think I brought it.  But what if I didn’t?†and so on.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah sure. I am the king when it comes to OCD. So when both partners have it they can understand each other 100%. Not everyone understands it. Even in my own family. They think it is all in the mind and can easily be dealt with. It is not something you can simply "knock off".

I agree.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If he got help yes. OCD is a mental disorder and can be treated. If not I wouldn't necessarily rule the guy out but encourage him to get help.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Tricky. I don't personally know anyone with OCD (except a distant classmate who mentioned she has to count windows in the room she's in) so not sure how I'd handle it especially if it was more pronounced. It would also depend on what the OCD is - excessive germ fear/handwashing would probably drive me nuts! It certainly would be something that I'd have a thorough look at. Certainly she should be open to some kind of treatment. 

 

While I've learnt a lot from the thread...Some questions :) Other than in stressful situations is it something that tends to devolve with time? What if you are in a different than normal environment e.g. camping, is there discomfort that there are no e.g. light switches, doornobs or whatever the actions need to be completed or is the compulsion only felt when certain objects are present in the environment or will it manifest to something else?

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Mine is OCPD (as Daz correctly pointed out to me on these forums). Given the tendencies I experience and the trouble I cause others, it's pretty severe.

 

I have been called everything related to 'crazy'. My family and church understand me enough to accept that certain things are wired into my system and that I have no control over them. My social life is non-existent. My assistants at office hate me because among other things, I fly into an uncontrollable rage if I see the corner of a page crumpled even a teensy weensy bit. I always doubt people or occurrences (even if something is happening before my eyes).

 

In a nutshell, I am a difficult person to live with so I would rather stay single. If it is God's will that I marry, I hope it would be someone (with or without a personality disorder) who understands that I don't really mean to cause trouble, that I am not a control freak and that I try hard not to try to be so perfect :).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just saw a documentary about this last night (it featured people with severe OCD. these people had strange behaviors that affected their quality of life and messed with other people's lives as well cuz they also dragged family members and spouses/children into their OCD drama).

I was shaking my head the whole time. don't get me wrong I felt bad/sorry for the people with OCD but I felt even sorrier for the people who had to deal with their drama every single day.

Sometimes I wonder if ocd people would still be obsessive about stuff in a life or death situation.

If terrorists came into your office building and started shooting (like what happened in france recently) are you still gonna be worried about something on your desk not being symmetrical or in their proper order?

I don't think so. These ocd people would run and get the hell out of there.

What I'm trying to say is...they are indulging in these unnecessary behaviors because they CAN.

They need to get out of their OCD comfort zone (cuz that's what it is. a comfort zone) and start living normally.

especially if your over-the-top OCD is affecting the lives of those around you, you really need to stop and look around. it's selfish to drag other people into your issues.

and people shouldn't be coddling these people either.

i'm sorry to anyone reading who thought this was harsh but i'm trying to keep it real. y'all need to get out of your comfort zone.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now