PG1

Focus

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A man once asked his father 'Father, how will I ever find the right woman?'. His father replied 'Forget finding the right woman, focus on being the right man.'


 


I asked the guys this, but I thought it would be fun to reverse the question a little and ask the girls.


 


As a woman, especially a 'waiter, do you find yourself focusing on finding the right man for yourself? Or, do you try to focus on how YOU are as a person, and what you think you can better about yourself or be happy with in who you are, hoping that if/when you meet a good man he will see this effort in you? Where is your focus?


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Both. I focus on looking for the right traits in someone and watching out for any "red flags" to avoid, as well as trying my best to improve myself every day. 

For instance, there are a lot of personal character flaws that I recognize I need to change in order to have a solid marriage. Journaling helps me tremendously. I can track how I feel and how I respond to certain situations--including my approaches to problem solving. Looking back, I can read what I was thinking and see how my perspectives have matured and changed over time. That's always interesting. 

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I on both of us but I focus more on me. I want a loving, hard working and Godly husband. A man that takes care of himself mentally, physically, and emotionally. A man that seeks to please his wife, children, and God and the same for me unto him. I want to be a woman that he and our children looks at and says "many women have done good in this world and unto others within the Glory of God but you suppress them all!" I choose not to find my husband but pray that he finds me instead. As a woman of Christian faith I believe in this verse.... Proverbs 18:22 NLT

"The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the lord ."

And I hope that I am treasured! :)

I hope this makes since.

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I also have to say both. I listen to feedback from others and try to recognize my own shortcomings not just for my future husband but for all my relationships. I am constantly working on myself but I also never forget to look for the kind of man who will do the same for me and I remind myself not to settle for less than I deserve. Such a man that is as great as that deserves a woman who is trying to be her best self. 

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I focus on cultivating myself. 

 

And I'd say for me the second focus/challenge is of being really selective about who I allow into my space/time. (This is touching on the do-i-focus-on-finding-the-right-man part.)

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My main focus right now is on me.  How can I expect to marry a man and have him love and support me if I am completely focused on my wants...my needs...my desires...my opinions...and have no use for his?  I'll keep learning and studying the world around me so that when God sends this man into my life, I'll be ready to turn my focus on him.  

 

I have a rather...unique skill set that I've often wondered how that will fit into our life together.  So I'll keep working on expanding my skills and bettering myself while I wait on him.  

 

I'm not going to settle for just any man and if I want a man that is worthy, then I need to be a woman who is just as worthy for him.  

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I have a rather...unique skill set that I've often wondered how that will fit into our life together.  So I'll keep working on expanding my skills and bettering myself while I wait on him.  

 

Sounds mysterious. For some reason my mind went straight to contortionism  :huh:

 

OP - reminds me of a similar saying I've heard, something along the lines of "Focus on following God and eventually you'll find your partner following beside you at the same speed". Easier said than done.

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Sounds mysterious. For some reason my mind went straight to contortionism  :huh:

 

Haha - thanks for the laugh this morning!!!  ;-)

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I tend to focus on both but, recently, I have deleted an account that I have online. I have decided to just focus on me, my photography, and my family. I'm not ruling out 'finding him' but I'm not actively seeking him out. If God says 'Hey, look, there he is' and pushes a guy in my way, making me trip, then (hopefully) I'll be like 'Oh!'. I do this, sometimes, just take a break from the 'search'. I'm not giving up, on me or him.

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