PG1

Focus

4 posts in this topic

A man once asked his father 'Father, how will I ever find the right woman?'. His father replied 'Forget finding the right woman, focus on being the right man.'

 

I'm going to ask the girls a similar question, but thought I'd start with the guys because of this. I saw this saying on facebook, and I thought it quite thought provoking.

 

As a man, especially a 'waiter' man, do you find yourself focusing on finding the right woman for yourself? Or, do you try to focus on how YOU are as a person, and what you think you can better about yourself or be happy with in who you are, hoping that if/when you meet a good woman she will see this effort in you? I'm curios how men think these things out.

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Both.

 

I think in our consumerist culture, we always are in search for things that benefit us. It's always about me, me, me. That mentality unfortunately is also prevalent when it comes to relationships. We expect our significant other to be the perfect one so we don't have to do any of the work. Yet we wonder why there are so many dysfunctional relationships these days. Love is supposed to be selfless. In fact, I was reading an study today where it talks about lasting relationships comes down to 2 traits: kindness and generosity. If two people focus more on giving to each other rather than taking, I think that will lead to more fulfilling relationships. That is something I strive to work on. More than anything, I hope to be a loving father and husband.

 

http://www.businessinsider.com/lasting-relationships-rely-on-2-traits-2014-11

 

However, I will not just marry any woman. She has to prove to be worthy of marriage too. We always tell girls they are princesses and deserve a good man and all that sort of stuff. Well. doesn't a good man deserve to find a good woman too? I want to find a woman who has focused on being the right person just as I have. I do not want to marry a woman who is vain, selfish, materialistic, vegan, iPhone lover instead of Android and any other evil trait out there :P.

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I focus on finding the right woman, and I hate every single day of my life... I lost a 6 year relationship to the actions my ex decided to pursue, and at 24 find myself far too old to find a decent partner. Different definitions lead almost every fish in the ocean out of my sea... If I were looking for a good girl, I'd be set. But with my level of standards, it seems impossible... 100% certain I'd die alone if I weren't looking.

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Everyone has a destiny, which is determined by the path you take, which is also determined by your actions. A soldier will either become a veteran, martyr, taitor or hero.

Dealing drugs will let you end up rich, in jail or a junkie.

 

Living the life of a good man, will lead you to the right people, or to bad people, just because you lived that life and attracted bad people.

 

What I want and others want is totally different. I want to find love, and through that, I'm a waiter till marriage. Thus, I'm walking the path of love.

 

It doesn't matter if we have fights over things we don't agree, because that's love. Love is not an agreement of personalities, it's the mysterious state that bounds us with an incomprehensible thought of always wanting to be together with her.

 

Love means sacrifice, compassion, trust, purity and many other things. 

 

Searching is futile. Maybe you will find a beautiful girl, or a girl with a very good character, or a sexy virgin girl with blonde hair and blue eyes.

 

But... is it truly what you deserve?

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