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waitn4myprince

Whats in a Name?

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Hi Guys, its me again :lol:

I'm not sure if anyone asked this question already, I haven't been on here very long so im not sure. Anywhoooo, When you say I do, do you want your wife to take your last name? Would it be a deal breaker if she didn't? How do you guys feel about adding on your last name to hers via a hyphen. I also asked the girls this question, so feel free to look at their replies under the the girls questions forum. :)

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I would really prefer my wife to take my last name. Not sure if it would be a dealbreaker or not; but I can tell you that if she didn't I wouldn't be thrilled about it lol

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W4mp, very good question. I'm assuming you're interested in keeping your last name?

Yes, I would appreciate it if my wife took my last name. I don't think it's sexist or anything like that. I think it's a cool tradition b/c it symbolizes the oneness of marriage.

Would it be a deal breaker if she didn't? Like DD said, I wouldn't be thrilled about it. I would hope she'd at least have a good reason for not wanting to take my name. I'd be open to discussion and would be more than willing to hear her thoughts on why she didn't want to.

If she wanted to keep her name and add my last name via hyphen I'd be cool with that.

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On a side note, I want to share this story I read about in a magazine. (I wish I could find the story online, but it was several years ago and I don't even remember which magazine it was.) Anyways, the article was written by a man who took his wife's maiden name as his new surname when they got married. His wife was one of a group of siblings that were all sisters, so her maiden name would "die out" once all the sisters got married. He had brothers and male cousins to carry on his own last name. So he took her last name so her maiden name would go on for at least one more generation. How cool is that?! :P

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On a side note, I want to share this story I read about in a magazine. (I wish I could find the story online, but it was several years ago and I don't even remember which magazine it was.) Anyways, the article was written by a man who took his wife's maiden name as his new surname when they got married. His wife was one of a group of siblings that were all sisters, so her maiden name would "die out" once all the sisters got married. He had brothers and male cousins to carry on his own last name. So he took her last name so her maiden name would go on for at least one more generation. How cool is that?! :P

That's awesome!!! Because my dad and I are the last in the family with my surname, so if my children take my husband's last name, that's the end of my family line. But I will not take my husband's surname and I would insist on our children having hyphenated names. But if he had an awful surname, like Dick or Titsworth (real surnames!) I would NOT allow our children to take them.

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I've been wondering this question myself.

I want to be a writer and I've always liked having the initials H.E.R. because they spell out her. So I want to use that for a signature and a logo. I've been wondering if I should keep my last name once I get married, but if it does end up being a deal breaker, I'll use her anyways, but take my husband's last name.

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I've been wondering this question myself.

I want to be a writer and I've always liked having the initials H.E.R. because they spell out her. So I want to use that for a signature and a logo. I've been wondering if I should keep my last name once I get married, but if it does end up being a deal breaker, I'll use her anyways, but take my husband's last name.

You're lucky your initials spell out something cool! I have a legal name and then an official name that I only ever go by. Either way, no cool initials. I'd have to choose between N.C.E.N. and S.C.E.N. So close to "scene," but that's kind of lame for an author. I could veto one of my middle names, so...N.E.N. or N.C.N or S.C.N. or S.E.N. Nope, can't win this one.

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I was about to say I didn't care THAT much about the last name thing.

And then I remembered: My dad has a sister and no cousins. My brother is gay. I am the last great hope for my family's last name, and I'm putting off sex. :lol:

...so now I'm thinking that it may be kind of important to me. :blink:

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Wow, all the views on this are interesting! My coworker actually asked me what I thought about this earlier in the week. When I told her that I never liked the idea of changing last names, even as a small child, she looked at me like I was insane! Lol. So I started laughing and tried to explain why, but I still think she thought I was crazy. Her name reminds her of the father who abandoned her, and mine reminds me of who I am and how far I've come and grown in life. It is arguably the only thing about me that I can say has never changed. Lol... My name and I, we've been through a lot together! :lol: It feels like it's a part of who I am. Even though I've told myself it's just a name... I would still be sad to see it go :( Oh, and there is also no way to pass our name on. (only one sister and all aunts on my Dad's side).

Maybe I'll be lucky enough to end up with a guy who understands that. :lol: If we were to end up having kids, they could totally have his last name. It would just mean a lot of me if I could keep the one I've always had.

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I think its customary for women to take the man's last name, but I have seen some married couple create a unique family name by hyphening the last name of both mates.

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My wife did take my last name - and she is the youngest of 3 daughters in her family - but the family name lives among many other relatives so it wasn't like her name vanishes here... She took it for practical reasons LOL (if this helps or hinders anyone...)... mine is a pretty common last name, and hers was a more unusual, difficult to spell/uncertain to pronounce name...

and more importantly... neither one of us was terribly far in our professional careers to have that impact one way or another.

If I had married later, I honestly think I would've expected my wife probably would not take my name - she would potentially have settled a bit of a career path and established a professional reputation, so it would have made easy sense.

either way... the question that comes after that can be more problematic if you're not clear upfront! (the question being... whose name or what hyphenated version of name do the kids ultimately get??).

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In most cultures (especially in asia and I believe spain) a girl is born and given her mothers maiden name as a middle name. Then when she marries she drops her middle name or hyphenates it and her maiden name becomes her middle name and her last becomes her husbands last. This way there is still a genealogical record of the female line as well as the male line. In ancient Jewish (it may be the same today) culture, inheritance was traced on the father's side but lineage was proven by the mother's.

<end Cliff rant>

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I would be happy to take her name, or hyphenate - or even create a new one!, and don't really care to keep my own

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That's neat, Chris! I know a couple who decided to mix both their last names into a new one.

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I don't care at all. I never asked for my own last name so I wouldn't expect a girl to want it, so whatever she chooses. Although I've never liked hyphenated names very much.

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