Jegsy Scarr

Guys, be honest - would you date a girl with facial hair?

24 posts in this topic

Okay, so this is slightly embarrassing, but heck, I'm going to ask anyway!

 

So basically, I am not the most hairless woman in the world. Not the hairiest, either, but I'd say more-than-average at least. I've got the perfect combination of very pale skin and quite dark hair, and (I suspect) above-average testosterone levels. And that's led to, amongst other things, above-average facial hair, especially on my upper lip.

 

When I was in high school, I used to get teased about it ("You have a moustache", "You look like a man" etc.), and I got really self-conscious about trying to get rid of it. I used to cover my mouth when I was talking to people, or keep my head down at the lunch table, in case someone mentioned it. My self-esteem is still not back to normal, but it's getting there.

 

Now, I've stopped caring so much. I remember my high school days where I couldn't pass by a mirror without checking for a stray hair, and lots of painful tweezering to try to get rid of all of it (and the awful feeling I had when I couldn't remove all of it). I really don't want to go back to that. I can't wax at all because of the skin medication I'm using, and hair removal cream can only be used occasionally (and even then, it makes my skin very sensitive). Right now, it's just the occasional tweezering every now and then to keep it kind-of under control. I don't worry about getting every hair, or even most hairs. Very occasionally, I'll use cream to get rid of it for a particularly special occasion, but to give you some perspective, I think the last time I did that was in April.

 

So, my question is basically, do guys have a problem with girls having facial hair? Frankly, I don't want to go back to how I was before, obsessing over it all the time. Realistically, I can't be completely hair-free, so I'm really just trying to accept that now, and forget all the things people said to me in the past. I'm not a porcelain doll. I'm a living woman, and I have hair that grows, and I can't get rid of it all, and I need a guy who's just going to accept that. I don't want to be constantly worried that if I didn't get rid of the hair, he'd stop finding me attractive, or whatever.

 

xxx

9 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
So, my question is basically, do guys have a problem with girls having facial hair?

 

No. As long as she doesn't look like ZZ Top I am fine. (No offense intended) I don't think you should worry about it. Although I am a guy, I really don't like having facial hair, and I also don't like plucking and shaving every other day. One tool that works for me is a Safety Razor, I can shave with that and my face is hair free for about four days (these razors shave really close) and mind you I also have dark hair.

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Personally, as a guy whose amount of body hair is proof of our common ancestry with apes, I can sympathize a tiny bit. But anyway, I'll be honest. If we're talking facial hair that can be seen from several feet away, then that's always been a turn-off for me in the past. However, I've never encountered a girl that had some facial hair but was otherwise attractive to me (I suspect that this is due to most girls conforming to society and not due to it being that rare), so I can't say for sure that it alone would keep me from dating a girl. But I'd say just be happy with however you're comfortable being.

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Jegsy Scarr, I know this post is for the guys(gulp ), but I have the same issue as you and know how you feel! Yes I will admit to it!

Plus if you and I were the only women to have feminine facial hair, companies wouldn't make products to get rid of the hair. 

One thing I found that helped was an epilator, it is painful but gets all those pesky hair( I nickname my the pain machine), I have also tried the NoNo, it seams to work so far, but I'm not sure it will work as great on courser hair( I have fine hair). I hope that helps!

 

As for the mean comments, I found when I agreed with the jerks they did not have anything else to say. An example, Jerk says loudly "Oooh, Artsy has a moustache!"  

"Yea, but I have been growing it out for years and it hasn't become a beard yet, darn." Artsy replies with cheshire cat grin and walks away.

They have no comment and the look on their face is priceless! Wahaha!!!

5 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I thought this question was towards other hair. I was like SHE WENT THERE! Hahahaha. ...

Carry on. :)

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Haha I LOVE this post! So here's the thing: I understand exactly where you are coming from, I have the same issue, BUT the the thing is, probably more than half of all women have the same issue as well! Actually I wouldn't even call it an issue, In fact I think its normal for most women to have a little peach fuzz on the upper lip- if you happen to have darker hair, you can notice it more.  The reason nobody knows this is that most women remove it in some way- waxing, tweezing, plucking, etc.  Honestly though, most women have this and they are some of the most beautiful women in the world- probably tons of supermodels have it but nobody knows because they remove it.

 

It doesn't necessarily mean that you have a hormonal problem- unless it can grow in full like a man's or you have a beard, it's normal, especially if you are from a certain ethnic background.

 

I think men especially need to realize that women are not completely naturally hairless- we actually have hair on our legs! and under our arms! and on our arms! and maybe some above our lip! It's normal! It's natural- it's the human body and it has hair on it!!!  Men need to stop being afraid of a little hair on a woman!  They need to realize that most of what they see is the result of much grooming and that's not naturally how women really look!

 

Now, not that there is anything wrong with grooming! I am a fan of it myself- I wax, shave, pluck, the whole nine yards just my preference for myself.  I wax my upper lip about once a month- works well for me! But ya know what, you do have to wait a little while for it to grow in again before you can wax again- if anyone sees the little fine hair growing in, I don't care! Because it's normal and I don't have anything to be ashamed about!  When I was a teenager, before I started waxing, I was sooo self conscious, but now I couldn't care less because I know it's normal and most women have it to some degree.

 

Jegsy, if you can't wax, tweeze, or use a cream, you can always try once of those tiny little razors/trimmers they sell for those delicate areas.  OR, you can just leave it and learn to OWN IT GIRL! haha!  Hope this long post helped ya feel better!  : )

7 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Jegs,

To answer your question: I would date a girl with facial hair. I also think having hair on a human body is normal, so a little facial hair never hurt anybody. To me, I think what would be important here is grooming ( Does she look presentable and is her physical appearance not so unkempt). As a guy, I obviously have facial hair but I do find it a challenge to keep a clean shaven face after one day (the hair stumbles come back and eventually I have a five o clock shadow).

Those people in high school that teased you don't know what they're missing having you as a friend: you are sweet, intelligent, courageous, caring etc.. These are attractive qualities and I'm sure when you meet the right guy he will overlook a minor physical flaw and be drawn to intrinsic qualities not found on your skin.

6 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The idiots who made fun of you in high school need to have their faces bashed in so hard that their teeth exits the back of their heads (but since I'm too pretty to go to prison, I'll just politely ask them to stop teasing instead). It's one thing to be turned off by stuff like that, it's an entirely different thing to put you down for something that is completely natural. The thing is that our perceptions of body hair on women (and I suppose men too) are cultural. In many places around the world, it is the norm for women to not shave body at all and it is not seen as unattractive at all.

 

I view female facial hair in a similar way that a woman would feel about male facial hair. Some like it, others don't. Granted you'd be hard pressed to find a guy who PREFERS female facial hair. But there are plenty who at least wouldn't mind it, provided that she doesn't have a Taliban's beard.

 

And honestly, I would never noticed you even having any kind of visible facial hair in the slightest.

6 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

For me it is not a problem. In a historical perspective, ideals of beauty change from time to time. Now mostly because of media we have a certain perception of beauty that was not necessary the case in the past and certainly will not be in future.

 

In some old cultures for example in Iran, women having a faint mustache was considered so appealing and sexy that even the women who did not have them used to draw it for themselves as part of their wearing

make-up: http://news.harvard.edu/gazette/2002/03.14/03-najmabadi.html

 

But times have changed.

 

By the way facial hair shows higher testosterone levels which then follows from it higher sex drives. So, no, those Iranian men were not crazy. They knew exactly what they wanted.

 

PS. You should not be worried over such small and unimportant matters. If still you do not like it, then you can do laser or electrolysis for longer effects. 

4 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

 

By the way facial hair shows higher testosterone levels which then follows from it higher sex drives. So, no, those Iranian men were not crazy. They knew exactly what they wanted.

 

 

hahaha! hell yea man!! See men what you actually do want IS a hairy woman (or a secretly hairy woman- since we groom ourselves so much..you wouldn't actually know..HA)  

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hahaha! hell yea man!! See men what you actually do want IS a hairy woman (or a secretly hairy woman- since we groom ourselves so much..you wouldn't actually know..HA)  

 

Maybe. But please allow us to err since for thousands of years, we have been fooled by your makeup which ranged from fake mustaches to fake complete hairless-ness that now we are confused and don't know what the real thing actually looks like anymore.

 

No man has yet seen a woman without her multiple layers of mysterious shrouds. It takes a life time to peel one bare. And then the life is up and it is time to leave forever. It is a mystery we are stuck with forever. But it takes away our boredom on planet earth, while we are here. So please, allow us to err. To solve this forever alive riddle. It helps us to live. 

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I never even knew that women get facial hair, lol.

hehe this goes to show how sneaky we are ; )

4 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I never even knew that women get facial hair, lol.

 

They do. I've seen my mother's whiskers enough times to confirm it.

5 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is a tough question. As much as we would like to not be shallow, I think it's difficult to be interested in someone who you don't initially find attractive.

 

So, ultimately, would I date a girl with facial hair?

Depends if I find her attractive.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I understand what it is like to have people make fun of you over something you can't help (just read some of my other posts). It is a terrible feeling, and does give you serious issues with self-esteem.

 

It is common for women to have hair on their face. Normally it is just very fine hair, and not noticable. I would say it's not a big deal. But if it makes you feel bad or unattractive, then it is an issue. It sounds like you want to feel attractive, and that you believe that guys would reject you right away over this. I know the thought of women rejecting me right away over things I couldn't help.

 

I have read some of your posts, and your article on 7 reasons for Catholics to wait. You seem like a beautiful person on the inside, and I have no doubt you are beautiful on the outside. If it really bothers you though, it is an easy problem to fix.

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I see the question as aesthetical and it's normal for men not wanting to see facial hair on women, as much as the majority of the women who don't prefer body hair (not too much) on males. Am I wrong?

 

It's absolutely NOT normal for these bullies to bully you and other girls just because you have facial hair.

 

I'd date a girl with facial hair, it can always be taken care of.

What really is attractive to me is a an aspirant, dedicated, woman with a strong character, that doesn't need any other's help to get what she wants, a woman who makes decisions and stays true to her actions decisions, 

 

You are born with something that shouldn't have happened yet it did happen. Are you an anomaly? If you are one, then I'm an anomaly too, since I don't have upper body hair like a man should have and I look very effeminate according to many, people confuse me for a girl-to-boy transsexual or very rarely for a girl because of my 'baby-face' and long girly hair. Still, facial hair on a girl is much less desirable than boys having no body/facial hair.

 

It's not about learning to accept who you are. It's about being yourself, every time. Don't accept what you are if you don't like it and if it is not the real you, accept how you want to see yourself, what you really are in character and fight for it.

 

I have some verses for you from one of my mystic sufi spiritual grandmasters, Mevlana:

 

Come, come, whoever you are.

Wanderer, worshipper, lover of leaving; it doesn't matter,

Ours is not a caravan of despair.

Come, even if you have broken your vow a hundred times,

Come, come again, come

 

The 7 advices:

 

In generosity and helping others, BE LIKE A RIVER

In compassion and grade, BE LIKE SUN

In concealing others' faults, BE LIKE NIGHT

In anger and fury, BE LIKE THE DEAD

In modesty and humility, BE LIKE EARTH

In tolerance, BE LIKE A SEA

 

Either exist as you are or be as you look.

 

You should never do this to 'be accepted' by others. Yes, never do this for other people. Do it for yourself. If you like your facial hair, THEN GO FOR IT. Embrace your dreams, screw the rest, because it is your happiness, your future and you will decide how it'll be. So make your decisions and, live.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Okay, so this is slightly embarrassing, but heck, I'm going to ask anyway!

 

So basically, I am not the most hairless woman in the world. Not the hairiest, either, but I'd say more-than-average at least. I've got the perfect combination of very pale skin and quite dark hair, and (I suspect) above-average testosterone levels. And that's led to, amongst other things, above-average facial hair, especially on my upper lip.

 

When I was in high school, I used to get teased about it ("You have a moustache", "You look like a man" etc.), and I got really self-conscious about trying to get rid of it. I used to cover my mouth when I was talking to people, or keep my head down at the lunch table, in case someone mentioned it. My self-esteem is still not back to normal, but it's getting there.

 

Now, I've stopped caring so much. I remember my high school days where I couldn't pass by a mirror without checking for a stray hair, and lots of painful tweezering to try to get rid of all of it (and the awful feeling I had when I couldn't remove all of it). I really don't want to go back to that. I can't wax at all because of the skin medication I'm using, and hair removal cream can only be used occasionally (and even then, it makes my skin very sensitive). Right now, it's just the occasional tweezering every now and then to keep it kind-of under control. I don't worry about getting every hair, or even most hairs. Very occasionally, I'll use cream to get rid of it for a particularly special occasion, but to give you some perspective, I think the last time I did that was in April.

 

So, my question is basically, do guys have a problem with girls having facial hair? Frankly, I don't want to go back to how I was before, obsessing over it all the time. Realistically, I can't be completely hair-free, so I'm really just trying to accept that now, and forget all the things people said to me in the past. I'm not a porcelain doll. I'm a living woman, and I have hair that grows, and I can't get rid of it all, and I need a guy who's just going to accept that. I don't want to be constantly worried that if I didn't get rid of the hair, he'd stop finding me attractive, or whatever.

 

xxx

My very dark hair and lighter skin means I have the same issue. My hair grows (except for on my head damn it!) really fast too. My eyebrows can be hard to control, I would be probably able to get a monobrow going if I wanted xD

 

As far as my upper lip goes it annoys me because my make up looks weird on it and makes it more prominent so I just bleach it (using a proper product, a mild one in fact) , it's cheap, easy, painless (and I have super sensitive skin) and makes it so much less visible. If it still bothers you at all I recommend trying it.  

 

My question wouldn't have been can guys accept my facial hair but other body hair. If he doesn't then he's not the guy for me because I'm not going to start shaving everywhere (my arms are hairy for example) just to make myself 'more attractive' to guys. I hope this helps a little :)

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Haha I LOVE this post! So here's the thing: I understand exactly where you are coming from, I have the same issue, BUT the the thing is, probably more than half of all women have the same issue as well! Actually I wouldn't even call it an issue, In fact I think its normal for most women to have a little peach fuzz on the upper lip- if you happen to have darker hair, you can notice it more. The reason nobody knows this is that most women remove it in some way- waxing, tweezing, plucking, etc. Honestly though, most women have this and they are some of the most beautiful women in the world- probably tons of supermodels have it but nobody knows because they remove it.

It doesn't necessarily mean that you have a hormonal problem- unless it can grow in full like a man's or you have a beard, it's normal, especially if you are from a certain ethnic background.

I think men especially need to realize that women are not completely naturally hairless- we actually have hair on our legs! and under our arms! and on our arms! and maybe some above our lip! It's normal! It's natural- it's the human body and it has hair on it!!! Men need to stop being afraid of a little hair on a woman! They need to realize that most of what they see is the result of much grooming and that's not naturally how women really look!

Now, not that there is anything wrong with grooming! I am a fan of it myself- I wax, shave, pluck, the whole nine yards just my preference for myself. I wax my upper lip about once a month- works well for me! But ya know what, you do have to wait a little while for it to grow in again before you can wax again- if anyone sees the little fine hair growing in, I don't care! Because it's normal and I don't have anything to be ashamed about! When I was a teenager, before I started waxing, I was sooo self conscious, but now I couldn't care less because I know it's normal and most women have it to some degree.

Jegsy, if you can't wax, tweeze, or use a cream, you can always try once of those tiny little razors/trimmers they sell for those delicate areas. OR, you can just leave it and learn to OWN IT GIRL! haha! Hope this long post helped ya feel better! : )

Indeed. I was saying not long ago that the sheer size of the female hair removal product and service market proves that most women have unwanted facial and body hair.

If it was as uncommon and therefore as unfemanin as the market would have us believe then the market simply could not survive at such scale.

While it's a pain to do I'm willing to make a deal with my future husband.

I will keep hair-free and smooth where you like it if you do the same for me how I like it 😉 haha

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've always viewed beauty as an inner quality, and much like the rest of the guys on here I think we can all safely assume that facial hair is nowhere near a deal breaker to any of us. For me personally I think it all comes down to comfortability. How comfortable is she with 1) grooming or leaving as is and 2) telling me about it. I view it as incredibly shallow to judge or write someone off based solely on something as superficial as facial hair. It would be the same as saying that a woman is too pale or has far too many freckles on her body (which I love personally). These days it seems like society is far more concerned with fixing one's imperfections in order to live up to very unrealistic expectations. 

I've known women with very noticeable facial hair and women with hair in other regions (stomach, hair on the small of their back, and even hair on their toes) and none of that was a turn off to me. A woman with a rotten personality is far less attractive than one with above average body hair. I think like most other things it all comes down to education and understanding that no one is perfect or ever will be perfect without some serious alterations to their body. If a woman is comfortable with accepting these facts and shows confidence enough to tell me, and even stops shaving for a while, that is what I find attractive and sexy. 

I'm not here to bash anyone who would outright turn a girl down for something superficial, so please don't think that. And if I offended anyone in my post I am sorry, that was not my intention at all. These are just my thoughts and to each their own. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

yes I would there is nothing wrong with that I was in a relationship with a woman who had facial hair and I used to nono her when she wanted to get rid of her facial hair but o well our relationship didn't last long due to long distance relationship I would definitely date a woman who has facial hair its natural its only hair every human has hair. xxx

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have a beard so as long as it's not thicker than my mustache, it's all gook:)

On 10/18/2014 at 6:00 PM, Jegsy Scarr said:

I've got the perfect combination of very pale skin and quite dark hair,

This is one of my favorite complexions...It's extremely attractive!;) There are plenty of other guys that also agree because it makes for a very stunning contrast. I probably would not even notice a bit of facial hair because i would be captivated by everything else.

On 10/18/2014 at 6:00 PM, Jegsy Scarr said:

Realistically, I can't be completely hair-free, so I'm really just trying to accept that now, and forget all the things people said to me in the past. I'm not a porcelain doll. I'm a living woman, and I have hair that grows, and I can't get rid of it all

Good don't get rid of it all. There are plenty of guys that love an all natural women (I'm one myself) find a guy like that, and you'll never think about it again because he will love every bit of you as is

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now