Jasmine23

Viewer's Undiscretion

37 posts in this topic

Due to the amount of married waiters we have here, I feel that some are very....too open about their sexual encounters with his or her spouse (no offense). Yes there is a "Viewer's Discretion" section but I think there should be a "Ask The Married Waiters/Viewer's Discretion" section and I think and believe it should be like the "Girls Only" And "Guys Only" forums.... private but private for users under 21. I believe some things are a bit too inappropriate for some..... I think that people should have to request to join just like us girls and guys have to for our forums.

Just an opinion for our WTM creator

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

...and believe it should be like the "Girls Only" And "Guys Only" forums.... private but private for users under 21. I believe some things are a bit too inappropriate for some.....

 

Darn.

 

xxx

7 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I really don't think its necessary to be honest. If people are offended by some of the topics posted on here then they can just avoid reading those threads. I especially don't see the harm in members under the age of 21 reading about the sexual experiences of successful married waiters. One of the things I like the most about this site is how open and candid the discussion is and I think that any filtering of content for fear of being inappropriate would be detrimental.

8 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't think it's necessary either.  Also, if such a section were to be created and an age limit used, why use 21 as the cutoff instead of 18, the legal age of consent?

5 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Don't read it then. The majority of humans over the age of 10 knows about sex.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

29 I didn't say anyone was offended by any topics. I simply said I don't think someone things talked about by married waiters are ok for some under 21 which is why I believe there should be a private section. Some parents may not want their children to know so much about the topic of anal or oral with their spouse just yet and may shut their child's accounts down. This is a great site but I just think some tend to go overboard with certain topics.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If a parent doesn't want their child reading about anal, oral, and other topics, how about they be the parent and not let them on the site? Not the general public on here's responsibility.

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I still don't understand why you think the age cutoff should be 21.  People who are 18, 19, and 20 years old are legal adults who can get married and have sex... but they shouldn't be allowed to read a forum about married people having sex?

7 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just skimmed the last few months of responses in the "Ask a Married Waiter Forum," and I don't see anything inappropriately graphic.

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I still don't understand why you think the age cutoff should be 21.  People who are 18, 19, and 20 years old are legal adults who can get married and have sex... but they shouldn't be allowed to read a forum about married people having sex?

 

Here in the UK (and in parts of the US, I think?) you can get married at 16.

 

xxx

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't think it's necessary. I feel the "Ask a Married Waiter" section goes without saying that personal info regarding what happens ONCE you're married will be discussed.

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Here in the UK (and in parts of the US, I think?) you can get married at 16.

 

xxx

 

I kinda wish I'd had married at 16, lol, would've been so much easier!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've always felt like there was a nice balance here; you've got the general waiting discussion areas which cover crucial topics but don't get too graphic, and on the other hand you have Viewer Discretion for...'those questions'.  I don't recall seeing anything that's goes into the line of being inappropriate outside of VD.  Besides that, the site is about information on waiting till marriage to have sex, so naturally sex is bound to be a topic that comes up here often. Even for younger folks like high schoolers, it's good for them to have a place to discuss the same stuff that they're hearing about from their peers/media/the locker room/etc.

 

I dunno, I feel like with added censorship you'd just have all of the under-21 crowd like...

 

tumblr_mtcbq4DEJw1sh4h4po1_r1_500.gif

6 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It was probably a couple months on the site before I ventured into the VD forum, and I still avoid it for the most part.  There is enough detail to the discussions outside of the VD forums, and some of the topics there are just... idle talk in my opinion, probably the result of a generation inured to such detail by instant access to hard, hard, strange porn unlike any known generation before. As a still single guy, I don't need to think about and ponder some of those things just yet, and they could be troubling to some gentler souls as well.  Were I engaged or married, of course, my view towards the forum would probably be a bit different.

 

It probably falls more to parents to protect their children than the forum/site admins.  However, I tend to try to be responsible to everyone, and if it was my responsibility to manage, I would probably try to restrict the sections with graphic descriptions to those who requested access, like the guy-only/girl-only forums.  Then at least we don't end up stumbling on vivid physical descriptions of things that some of us would rather find out for ourselves one day.  And if you wanted to limit the age of entry to say 16 or 18, it wouldn't stop people from lying about their age and getting in, but it would be doing a kind of due diligence.

 

On a similar topic, sometimes I wonder if a Christian-access forum might be of value.  Not for the majority of posts and topics, but as a safe place for Christian waiters to ask Christian questions without having their beliefs attacked or derided in the process.  The tone of the forums have in my opinion swayed enough this last while that many Christian waiters have stopped posting and some have simply left the site. That said, I appreciate the site's existence and am not demanding anything, just thinking out loud.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It was probably a couple months on the site before I ventured into the VD forum, and I still avoid it for the most part.  There is enough detail to the discussions outside of the VD forums, and some of the topics there are just... idle talk in my opinion, probably the result of a generation inured to such detail by instant access to hard, hard, strange porn unlike any known generation before. As a still single guy, I don't need to think about and ponder some of those things just yet, and they could be troubling to some gentler souls as well.  Were I engaged or married, of course, my view towards the forum would probably be a bit different.

 

It probably falls more to parents to protect their children than the forum/site admins.  However, I tend to try to be responsible to everyone, and if it was my responsibility to manage, I would probably try to restrict the sections with graphic descriptions to those who requested access, like the guy-only/girl-only forums.  Then at least we don't end up stumbling on vivid physical descriptions of things that some of us would rather find out for ourselves one day.  And if you wanted to limit the age of entry to say 16 or 18, it wouldn't stop people from lying about their age and getting in, but it would be doing a kind of due diligence.

 

On a similar topic, sometimes I wonder if a Christian-access forum might be of value.  Not for the majority of posts and topics, but as a safe place for Christian waiters to ask Christian questions without having their beliefs attacked or derided in the process.  The tone of the forums have in my opinion swayed enough this last while that many Christian waiters have stopped posting and some have simply left the site. That said, I appreciate the site's existence and am not demanding anything, just thinking out loud.

I agree and see your stand. I also agree with the Christian - access forum 100% I think it would be of great value

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On a similar topic, sometimes I wonder if a Christian-access forum might be of value.  Not for the majority of posts and topics, but as a safe place for Christian waiters to ask Christian questions without having their beliefs attacked or derided in the process.  The tone of the forums have in my opinion swayed enough this last while that many Christian waiters have stopped posting and some have simply left the site. That said, I appreciate the site's existence and am not demanding anything, just thinking out loud.

 

As a non-Christian, I'm not sure how I feel about that. On one hand, I think it's good to have a "safe place" where one can ask religious-based questions and share with others of the same faith. On the other hand, it feels a bit too much like a privilege given to some but not others - if Christians get their own private forum, should Muslims get theirs too? What about Pagans (it would be a pretty lonely place…), and atheists?

 

To be honest, I don't think that's the best solution to the problem. You mentioned Christians' beliefs being "attacked or derided", which I'm fairly sure goes against the rules of the forum. Most of the moderators and administrators on here are Christians, so I would trust them to address any anti-Christian behaviour. They'll certainly be open to any concerns you may have. So far I haven't seen any questionable posts, but if one appears I'm confident that one of our Christian moderators will intervene.

 

As for Christian waiters asking Christian questions, I'd suggest mentioning in the post title that you only want Christians answering. Personally, I don't answer topics that are specifically directed at people of another faith - for example, I participated in "Has your faith been tested?" because that could apply to any religion, but not "Is masturbation a sin?" because I'm not Christian and my opinion on the topic would be inconsequential. I would certainly not butt into the conversation to insult your beliefs and claim that the concept of sin is stupid, and I don't think many other non-Christians on this site would, either.

 

Basically what I'm suggesting is that for secular or interfaith discussions, we remain civil and respectful towards each other, because not doing so would be a breach of the forum rules. I trust that our moderators can tell when a discussion turns to bullying or discrimination. For discussions pertaining to specific faiths, mention it in the title - us non-Christians will respect that and stay away. If one of us doesn't, maybe a moderator could intervene or something.

 

This is already a very Christian-dominated forum, and adding a section restricted to Christians (especially if it's the only faith-based private forum) would increase that feeling. One of the reasons why I love this forum so much is because it's so welcoming and accepting of people from all walks of life. Let's not change that.

 

I'll conclude by saying that if ever I said something that might be perceived as attacking or deriding Christianity or Christians - which I hope I didn't, but who knows how my posts may be perceived - it was unintended and I truly apologise.

14 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with CrystalFaerie. There is a real difference between expressing another opinion and attack or derision. A forum, by definition, is a place for open discussion or expression of ideas. I find the perspectives of this diverse group of people quite enriching. :-)

6 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with everything CrystalFaerie said.  :) I also wanted to add that it seems like a good chunk of the conflict has, to my eyes, been between liberal Christians and more traditional Christians, so I don't see that a Christian-only subforum would do much to solve the problem you are getting at.

5 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I appreciate and understand the replies from CF, BW and SM.  

 

I agree that anything posted in the main forums is open game to anyone, that's the nature of a forum.  And the admins do a pretty good job of keeping random stuff out, I don't know if I've ever seen spam or an advert on this site, which is pretty admirable!

 

There are insulting posts to be found, including ones that call people out by name or quote them and insinuate that the author is stupid. Few of our members are professional writers and many are young and passionate about what they believe, but that doesn't make them stupid.  What happened to chivalry and respect?  State your disagreement, sure.  Ask someone to clarify what they said, sure.  But don't belittle those you don't agree with. 

 

Some of the atheists/agnostics take offence at Christian posts and assume we're trying to convert them.  My posts are not placed there to try to proselytize those who don't believe, but to explain to and encourage those who do believe. There may be more conservative Christians here by membership, but they are, in my experience, not the loudest or most abundant voices.

 

But as I said before, I'm thinking out loud, neither making a formal request nor a complaint.  Maybe we can all just try a little harder to treat the other members with respect, even when we don't agree.

6 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I see nothing wrong with what's posted. Teens know about sex. And if younger kids are on the Internet unsupervised I would question the parents. It's not the internet job to protect people

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with Jasmine that some of these topics are inappropriate for minors.  On the other hand, it is a safe place for minors to ask questions about sex and waiting if they are curious.  Sometimes they don't have someone to ask those questions to.  Should they search for it on google? NO! haha! But it is still a public forum. WTM is for all people. 

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now