NicoleNova

What If I'm A Virgin?

6 posts in this topic

Here is another Matthew Hussey video. It's aimed toward woman, as most of his stuff is but guys can watch and share their perspective as well. I think it relates to them too. 

http://www.gettheguy.co.uk/blog/what-if-im-a-virgin/?inf_contact_key=34cc5ea88b8c4210b75c9c0e1ff76cf61749686f254883478fbdb8876e09a007 

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Whenever I am asked, I just say I'm still a virgin, most people don't go beyond that point. Women are usually the ones who ask me, and a lot of the time they make a comment back that they wish they still were.

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Ugh, I can never understand why salesman like this are so overwhelmingly popular. Guys aren't products that can be bought by purchasing anyone's self help videos.   :huh: You definitely won't "keep" one by purchasing magazines that detail the latest tips on how to please your man either.

 

There is definitely a double standard at play. Many women would ostracize a man for reading magazines that detailed how to have as many sex hookups as possible but decades of advertisement from large corporations have made it morally acceptable for women to do nearly the same thing. When the inevitable happens the person in question nearly always buys the next product to help them cope and they never come to the realization that the cookie cutter guides that have turned intimacy into profit generators is the root of their problems. 

 

It's crazy how westerners express their feelings through purchasing power instead of developing emotional intimacy through communication that would lead to truly satisfying relationships. 

 

If you want to know the secret to getting/keeping a guy or girl, just ask them! It's free. :D

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If  a guy asks this question in hopes of persuading a woman to be his next score... he's the wrong guy.  However, if he asks it because he too is WTM, then it wouldn't really be awkward or a problem.

 

This video is full of half truths.  "A woman's v/virginity is not her greatest gift to the world" - which is true and that is why she shouldn't plan to give it to the world.  But contrary to what this video guy says, it is a great gift to her husband (and her children by way of example).  It is a gift to herself too, because she won't have regrets and distracting memories and STDs and the awkwardness of discussing past bedfellows with her husband.

 

OK, I quit before I got to the end of the video, this pretty boy is trying to speak out of both sides of his mouth.  Something like, sex is not special enough to be saved, but it is so special that we're all missing out, we really 'need' to learn to enjoy a moment of passion in a strange hookup.  I'll venture a guess that he is lonely and unhappy in his quiet hours.

 

The whole point of WTM isn't just that one first physical union, and some people do get hung up on that.  The real point (in my opinion) is where your heart is, in wanting to be true and loyal to and pure for that one person that you will truly love and want to spend the rest of your life with.  Sex is small in a way, yes, it doesn't compare to the bigger picture of love and loyalty.  But that doesn't make sex outside of marriage into a toy.

 

I think that WTM is less sincere if it is just avoiding one specific physical action, but allows all else.  I believe it is more sincere to make a practice of avoiding the casual mental and visual and interpersonal stuff that presents itself along the way too.

 

I'm not WTM because I think sex is bad or dirty or strange or that the first time is that big of a deal.  I'm WTM because I want that unencumbered spiritual union with another soul, that relationship of love, trust and loyalty until death do us part.

 

I'm not WTM for a 'great' first time.  I'm WTM for the great times we will have together for the rest of our lives.

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I agree with him in that I do believe it is something to enjoy. I don't think people who get caught up, and lose control, should beat themselves up over it. Things happen. I don't think my vagina is a 'gift to the world'... or my husband, for that matter. The 'gift' is that he will know that, even before I meet him, that this is an experience that I only want to experience with him. If, as he points out, it turns out that the love of my life is NOT really, that we get divorced (which I'm hoping won't happen, that we are able to talk through any problem that might cause it to happen, but surely you never really know) I'll know the truth is that he was worth the wait, because he IS. If I then marry again, my husband then will know that even though I'd been married before that he was also worth the wait because I will wait for him, as well... at that point he just wouldn't be my first. Either way, I believe that sex should be enjoyed, but I also believe that I don't want to do it with just anyone, or outside of marriage. I think what he is saying is beautiful, in the sense that he believes the act of sex should be a beautiful thing. I aslo agree that making it a big deal, yourself, makes it a big deal to the person you are talking to. I tend to just state it as a fact. "I'm a virgin. Yes, completely. I'm waiting for marriage." Or, something to that affect. Some people can take it, others can't. If they can't, well, I wouldn't want to have that experience with them, anyway. That's ok, they are allowed to feel that way. Sex is not, or shouldn't be, shameful. However, it's only as beautiful as we (ourselves) make it.

 

I have to say, though, now that I have found this site... knowing that I am not alone... makes me hope that my husband (should I marry) will be a guy who feels that I am worth waiting for. Not, by any means, a deal breaker. Just a new hope.

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