kquest87

Question for the now married waiters... and everyone else who have insight of dating

6 posts in this topic

Hello everyone! Long time I know sorry. I got a promotion at work and super busy. Still I have news! I met a guy, yeah crazy I know. He knows Im a virgin and Im waiting and he is cool with it. We actually had a 15 min convo of him trying to convince me he was good with waiting and want to go very slow. He is an absolute gentleman and successful... and I could go on and on. Point is I have no idea what I am doing, I keep thinking yup... he's gonna leave and nope still around. When dating for a month now, and his taking it slow is great.... but kinda too slow. IDK its weird we get along great but his "hands off" approach is making me antsy. So my question is, mostly to the ppl who were waiting and jumped the broom... how long did you wait till you kissed or made a "move"... not talking sex, but you know like at least base 1... Im just worried we will slide into the dreaded "friend zone", something I do NOT want. Sorry this is soo long, I have not dated in a very long time and I want this one to work but...(sigh) ... any thoughts?

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I feel like it's a good sign that he's being patient and wanting to take it slow. He probably thinks that coming on too strongly will scare you off so he's tryna be calm and meticulous with the whole situation. He's trying his best not to come across as a sleazebag basically. which is a good thing. means he cares.

Just go with the flow. no need to fret over anything. Time will tell if he's the real deal or not anyway so just relax and be yourself

remain classy and level -headed but let the man make all the big important moves.

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First of all, congrats on the new relationship!

I don't have too much dating experience, but here are my thoughts.

He is probably being very "hands-off" because he does not want to make you feel uncomfortable or that he is trying to pressure you physically. if that is the case, and you want to, say, hold his hand, you will probably have to be the one to initiate.

Or, he might be doing it because he wants to be careful about how he progresses physically in your relationship, due to his past experience. If so, you should probably discuss it with him.

Also, I wouldn't worry about the friend zone. If you're both attracted to each other to begin with, then I don't see the problem with not being physical. For me (and maybe because I have never done anything physically in a relationship besides hold their hand or sit next to them...) just being near and spending time with someone I am attracted to is enough to keep me away from the friend zone. It's a thrill all on it's own. I think even more so if you are going on dates!

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Hello everyone! Long time I know sorry. I got a promotion at work and super busy. Still I have news! I met a guy, yeah crazy I know. He knows Im a virgin and Im waiting and he is cool with it. We actually had a 15 min convo of him trying to convince me he was good with waiting and want to go very slow. He is an absolute gentleman and successful... and I could go on and on. Point is I have no idea what I am doing, I keep thinking yup... he's gonna leave and nope still around. When dating for a month now, and his taking it slow is great.... but kinda too slow. IDK its weird we get along great but his "hands off" approach is making me antsy. So my question is, mostly to the ppl who were waiting and jumped the broom... how long did you wait till you kissed or made a "move"... not talking sex, but you know like at least base 1... Im just worried we will slide into the dreaded "friend zone", something I do NOT want. Sorry this is soo long, I have not dated in a very long time and I want this one to work but...(sigh) ... any thoughts?

 

 

Sounds like a really good guy :) I met my husband on here, and on our first date we held hands. That's hard to compare to though, because we had been talking for a few months and then finally met in person. (Our first date) We did end up kissing on our second-however each of our dates were weeks apart, and I didn't know the next time I'd see him again.  :wub:

 

I agree with Bethreny about you possibly having to initiate to hold hands. You initiating that is not a big deal, and may help him relax/feel more comfortable. I'd let him make the move for the first kiss though.  ;)

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I totally kissed my husband on our second date. It was awesome. I still get butterflies thinking about it. Most firework-inducing kiss of my life!

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Thanks everyone. I know why he is taking the hands off approach but yea a kiss would be awesome. He really is a great guy. Can't wait to see him again

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