wny

How many Successful Waiters do you Know?

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I feel like we've had threads about how many waiters you know in real life, but I don't think we've ever had had one that asked how many people you know in real life who were successful waiters (ie: made it to the altar).

 

So, how many? Were they virgins or non-virgins who later decided to wait? Was their spouse also a waiter or simply willing to wait? Was their spouse a virgin?

 

I think I know one, though it's unconfirmed. I think my cousin waited until marriage, but I'm not 100% sure. My aunt told my mom she believed he did. I don't know if his wife was a waiter or not, but she was married before and divorced, so she wasn't a virgin.

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Well, I just attended a wedding on Sunday where the bride and groom shared their first kiss at the alter.But they are not the only ones I know who successfully waited.

 

So, how many? I can think of 3 couples that made it and one that called it off right before. She is still waiting, I believe. I didn't know him enough to keep up with him.

 

Were they virgins or non-virgins who later decided to wait? My best friend and her soon to be ex-husband waited til their wedding night but neither of them were virgins but both decided they wanted to wait because they had both since became more invested in their religion. Another friend of mind, waited til her wedding night with her hubby and both had kids already so that answers the other question about whether they were virgins. Again, in that case they both wanted to wait. In regards to Sunday's wedding, I don't know about him but she was a virgin when they married and they both decided to wait together,  for sex and kissing. 

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Two of my friends from college waited till marriage. Their husbands were waiters as well. One of them waited till marriage for kissing also. In addition, one of my cousins and her husband waited till marriage as well. 

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Since I'm not naming names, I'm going to list the dates of when I attended their wedding, and if both/one successfully waited.

 

2007: It was their first kiss at the alter, not sure if they had kissed other people before meeting each other. Definitely both virgins.

2009: Definitely both virgins.

2010: They had been together since high school, so about six years. She was a virgin; he was not. Obviously he then waited with her.

2011: Pretty sure they were both virgins.

2012: She was a virgin; he was not. He then waited with her.

2014: My husband and I! Then also two friends, definitely both virgins.

 

Then I also have many good friends who are still virgins, who are waiting, but they're all currently single.

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Since I'm not naming names, I'm going to list the dates of when I attended their wedding, and if both/one successfully waited.

 

2007: It was their first kiss at the alter, not sure if they had kissed other people before meeting each other. Definitely both virgins.

2009: Definitely both virgins.

2010: They had been together since high school, so about six years. She was a virgin; he was not. Obviously he then waited with her.

2011: Pretty sure they were both virgins.

2012: She was a virgin; he was not. He then waited with her.

2014: My husband and I! Then also two friends, definitely both virgins.

 

Then I also have many good friends who are still virgins, who are waiting, but they're all currently single.

I expected a few people to know a couple, but wow you know a lot. The more the merrier, haha.

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I went to a wedding in 2013 in which the couple were waiters. Otherwise, I don't know anyone who has made it to the altar....they are waiting now and either in a relationship or single.

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I would say less than 7 who are virgins both men and women. A few more who had sex one time and regretted it.

I know one married virgin couple and one couple where the girl was a virgin and the guy wasn't. They only married for sex. Both older than me. The virgin couple both the guy and girl were virgins.

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The closest I can think of is my mom having made the decision after her last divorce, and getting back into her faith, that she was going to wait. Other than that. Nope. Until I found this site, I felt very very alone in this world. So, even when I disagree with people on here, or they disagree with me, I'm still glad to find a forum of support for this. I also enjoy hearing different points of views.

 

Actually there may be one friend of mine, but I am not 100% sure.

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1...... that will be myself and my husband haha

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Yup.... I actually know many :D who were mostly virgins before marriage. There are a lot in my family, actually, my parents for example! I know a lot of people, if I think about it, but that's because WTM is so highly valued in my religious community. Of course there are a lot where you don't really know what happens behind closed doors, which is alright because it's private! No need to know :D I am really only thinking of those where I know for sure that they are successful waiters.

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You know this is a pretty interesting topic that leads to another question. How many people do we know who are waiters that got married and successfully waited, but were not waiters before they met their spouse?

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It seems like so many of my friends who originally wanted to wait have all pretty much changed their minds once they got into college, but when I thought about it there are actually quite a few people I know who have waited until they were married, at least 4. I had a friend who didn't want to have sex until she was married, but ended up not waiting. She eventually got pregnant and after decided she wasn't going to sleep with anyone else until she was married. She is married now and I know for a fact that she and her husband did not sleep together beforehand. So if you count her, that is 5. I also have another friend who I am 95% certain is waiting (along with her boyfriend) and is engaged. So if she makes it the next couple of months that will be 6. All of these people were in their mid to late twenties when they got married and all of them were married within the last year and a half. Those are all the ones that I know of, there might be some older couples I know who waited but I can't say for sure.

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It seems like so many of my friends who originally wanted to wait have all pretty much changed their minds once they got into college, but when I thought about it there are actually quite a few people I know who have waited until they were married, at least 4. I had a friend who didn't want to have sex until she was married, but ended up not waiting. She eventually got pregnant and after decided she wasn't going to sleep with anyone else until she was married. She is married now and I know for a fact that she and her husband did not sleep together beforehand. So if you count her, that is 5. I also have another friend who I am 95% certain is waiting (along with her boyfriend) and is engaged. So if she makes it the next couple of months that will be 6. All of these people were in their mid to late twenties when they got married and all of them were married within the last year and a half. Those are all the ones that I know of, there might be some older couples I know who waited but I can't say for sure.

 

Yeah, it can be kind of discouraging when we look at so many people who don't want to wait.  What made me rather discouraged, was when I found out that one of my friends/long time posters on this site decided to enter into a Friends With Benefits relationship with her ex-boyfriend. 

 

Still, we all have our own decisions to make, and we must live with those decisions. 

 

I would like to wait, and hope my future spouse waited as well.  That way, when the time comes for me to raise my future children, I can tell them that mom and dad waited!

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I dont know any waiters at all.  I wish i did.

 

Now you do:)

 

And seriously, I know how discouraging it can feel. But you might find success in knowing some waiters if you try a few things I did: Go outside your current group of friends, and meet new communities. It's really refreshing. Also, I find that when I shift my internal dialogues and beliefs (for example, shifting to believe: I *will* meet people who share my values. It can happen at any moment!") my outer experience mirrors this shift. It's really dramatic. But needs to be done consistently and and genuinely. Sometimes it's hard to shift our beliefs/expectations, but it is possible.

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I can't say I know anyone currently who is waiting but I've met a handful of people over the years who were waiters.

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None that are 100% confirmed but 2 pretty close to it! One I think didn't kiss before they were married, don't know the other factors but I'd say its safe to say she at least was a virgin. The others I don't think would have had the time not to wait - literally getting engaged within 24 hrs of the first date! But these are from my parent's generation or slightly younger. As for peers, none really which has been disappointing but has also emphasised WTM's importance to me.

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1...... that will be myself and my husband haha

 

Jasmine, I'm inspired by you. I love your confidence. I am seeking the confidence to believe I can attract my man who has waited. Thank you.

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I know my Mum didn't have sex till she got married to Dad, I'm not sure about Dad before he met Mum. But I know of no one else!,  :mellow:. Hopefully I will meet some in real life one day!. :) .

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