Naturally

Sex a sign of disrespect to parent?

29 posts in this topic

You can never have enough friends. My dad being a friend is probably one of the best things to have happened to me. We can talk about world events, stupid media scandals, what cars are nice and what we can't stand. I don't come home to a parent who will nag me, I come home to a friend who's going to nag me (big difference).

The key is to know when to be more parent than friend.

If you are not a friend to your child, you are missing out on a very big part of enjoying your child.

Aren't you suppose to already enjoy your child when you gave birth to them? A parent and a child can talk about things like friends but the parent should still be a parent.

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Would you mind defining child for me? I'm trying to see if there's a disconnect here or not.

Child still living at home. Under 18

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Children having no freedoms, and then 100% freedom at 18 when they go off to college is what ruins them. All their life they've been told what to do, and now they have no one restricting them.

The kids who typically go wild in college are the ones that were told "because I said so" whenever they asked why the should obey their parents' rules. I believe that explaining to the child WHY you aren't supposed to do certain things is just as important as telling them what to do.

Take premarital sex for example. If the only thing your child knows about it is "don't do it", they'll probably end up doing it. However, if you have a dialogue with your child about the positives of WTM and the kind of landmines they'll avoid by doing so, they'll walk away with actual information, and the fact that you cared enough to explain it to them.

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I agree with some people on here and disagree with others. What I think we all have to remember is this. There is no instruction manual. No parent is perfect. Nature vs Nurture will, most likely, forever be a debate. Which means that the most a parent can do is their best. Make decisions for their children the best they know how, and hope that they are teaching their kids well. Also, don't just teach those lessons, but LIVE them. I do believe that, more often than not, children learn by example. That whole 'Do as I say, not as I do' quote must have been said by a hypocrite. Then, when the time does come, hope that those teachings are used by those children. It is entirely possible to be a parent first, teacher, supporter, and then friend when they need you most.

 

As for decisions on relationships and sex, I think a recent meme online showing a daddy taking his little girl on a 'date' is a great example of what should be happening in the world. Men should show their daughters how men should treat and respect women on a date and in life, and women should be showing their sons the way women should treat men. Then as they get older, keep lines of communication open (tv and movies can be a great way to open up discussions, and with the invention of the pause button... 'hey, that's something we should discuss. What are your thoughts, feelings, on the subject? Do you have any questions?' is a great way to start a conversation). This goes for friendship, as well. Nature (God for those of us that do believe) has given us the responsibility, as the preceding generations, to show future generations how we are suppose to treat each other. Showing children how to be friends. Treating others with respect, sharing, etc. Respect has to be taught as a personal practice first, though. How can we respect, and love, others unless we respect, and love ourselves first? Here's a link to one of them... https://ca.news.yahoo.com/video/dad-takes-daughter-best-first-184332191.html

 

No matter how hard you try, you have to remember that you can't KNOW how things will turn out. You have to have faith and hope for the best. No matter what you do, there WILL be a moment when that child will either jump from the nest, or have to be shoved. Most importantly, remember that (no matter what or how you teach your children) to back it up with LOVE, because that will probably be what they remember the most. Love and anger are what we tend to remember the most in life.

 

My posts are always so much longer than I intend. Ugh. :) Sorry.

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