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Why God Wants Us to Wait

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I hear the cold fish syndrome comments from a lot of married guys in college. Hopefully I can avoid a woman like that. :lol: Great article overall.

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I like reading different articles about this. A lot of people talk about personal benefits of WTM, and that I really agree with.

 

I like the commenter explaining her perception of people's motivation for waiting or not:

 

"I really believe that part of the reason that so many of us had premarital sex even though it was drilled into our heads not to is because no one gave us real reasons why not to (like you are), other than that we’ll get pregnant or an STD."

 

Often I wonder if there are good articles which talk about the broader picture as well, beyond individual, personal benefits of waiting. When I think of the topic "Why God Wants Us to Wait," resounding definitely, because it's best for us individually and His design for us, it's in harmony with how our healthy emotions are supposed to work. Then getting broader I think of WTM as important to society, because families are essential to healthy human life, and WTM is a belief that strongly affirms the values of commitment, and the importance of solid family.

 

Statistics like these help make it clear to me that families are important for a healthy society, of healthy individuals:

 

  • Children of single-parent homes are more than twice as likely to commit suicide.
  • Children in father-absent homes are almost four times more likely to be poor.
  • The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services states, “Fatherless children are at a dramatically greater risk of drug and alcohol abuse.â€
  • 71% of high school dropouts are fatherless
  • Adolescents living in intact families are less likely to engage in delinquency than their peers living in non-intact families.
  • Being raised by a single mother raises the risk of teen pregnancy
  • children living with married biological parents had significantly fewer externalizing and internalizing behavioral problems
  • A study of 109 juvenile offenders indicated that family structure significantly predicts delinquency.
  • Boys are more likely to become involved in crime, and girls are more likely to become pregnant as teens [in fatherless homes].

http://www.fathers.com/statistics-and-research/the-consequences-of-fatherlessness/

 

And this article is a more personal explanatory story: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/fiona-teng/fatherlessness-the-presen_b_5485826.html

 

Waiting until marriage, to me, is a philosophy that says "Sex has value only inside a marriage." It is marriage that gives sex value. This is an affirmation of marriage. If someone offered "do you want unmarried sex?" a person would respond "No. That has no value to me. It is toxic." For a non waiter who has come to value sex outside of marriage, going into marriage, still valuing unmarried sex, is a liability to that marriage. One cannot simultaneously esteem unmarried sex, value it, and thus desire it, and remain content, at peace, and stable in their marriage. They would find themselves torn. So marriage thrives best when only married sex is valued, and the other type is rejected.

 

A further gap to bridge, is making the connection that my individual, personal choices have the potential to affect and influence my peers. For example,

 

A person enters college and finds 80% of their peers value premarital sex, talk about it, congratulate each other on it, and/or hold frequency of premarital sex as a measure of a man's value. Would it be easier or more challenging for that person to wait until marriage, relative to, a case where 20% of their peers value premarital sex, and 80% value waiting until marriage?

 

I think peer pressure, social politics, and the desire to feel included with one's social circle are a major influence on a person's choices.

 

With faith people can keep their principles in the face of any peer pressure. Importantly, when people encourage each other in waiting till marriage, it becomes all the more joyful. Friendships and support grow and flourish, and people may find stable romance more easily. Faith strengthens faith in others, through sharing love and knowledge of God.

 

So connecting the bridges, in rather reverse order, we find that people waiting until marriage encourages others to do so. We find that waiting until marriage affirms and strengthens marriage. And we find that marriage strengthens children's emotional health, and fosters ethical behavior and education, responsibility, justice, and this grows society's health, because, if society is like a house, a stronger house is built of people who are like bricks, than of people who are like straw.

 

So to the commenter who said, no one gave reasons to wait, except pregnancy or STDs, I could answer that waiting prevents fatherless homes, prevents broken families, and broken people, prevents crime, suicide, drug and substance abuse, and promotes education, justice, caring, love of God, love of neighbors, glory to God and is His vision.

 

So I enjoy finding more articles and blogs talking about a broader vision, combined with individual benefits. Sometimes I think it'd be nice to teach this.

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^ Agreed it the above. I've seen many people struggle with heartbreak and kids. Some are married some aren't. However I hate how kids how to suffer due to their parents choices. I know many teen parents and I question why they didn't protect themselves both physically and emotionally. It isn't fair to the child that they have to live without a mother/father because people just hump then dump or have to live in a broken home. I was just watching the Oprah series and a man had 34 kids with 17 different women😵 Gross.

And I think by my parents and church providing other examples instead of don't do it, made me realize how special sex is. It's not just for preventing pregnancy and STDs, but it's to prevent heartbreak and knowing that a person who waits is being patient and waiting to find the one to share their life with

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