Lexia322

Is this a typical player line?

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Ladies, how would you feel if a man whom you have only known for a few months told you:

 

"I know what's best for you. Let me guide you, let me take care of you."

 

would you be smitten or would you feel patronized?

 

I met this dude in April and he already claims to know what's best for me. I'm honestly like wtf.

 

Is this a typical player line? my friends say it's not but I'm not convinced. (this guy is not exactly the innocent type).

 

am I being a stuck up b!%$# or is my discomfort justified?

 

How would you feel in this situation?

 

(For those of you who have read my topic about coming up with a nonchalant birthday present for a man without sending a wrong message, yes, you already know him. This is that dude.)

 

 

thanks in advance.

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Why yes your judgment is right on. He seems to want to take control of you, in my opinion. I would not fall for it.

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thanks girl. yeah he's controlling. too often he asks me where I'm at.

one thing I noticed about shady dudes is that they think everybody else is doing some shady stuff too. smdh

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ROFL! He said he knows what's best for you??? Uh... he's not your dad and you're not 8 (at least I hope you're not 8. Your age wasn't on your profile LOL). IMO your doubt should tell you that's a red flag.

 

I once talked to this amazing older guy. Totally amazing... but he ended up being really controlling and he was kind of dictating things to me to the point where we just faded away. And we got super close in like weeks. WEEKS. You can't control a Scorpio moon LOL which we both had. Of course I didn't realize he was doing this until my mom pointed it out and I saw the subtle things he was doing thereafter :P. You have to stand back sometimes and see the whole picture, which I believe is what you're doing by getting advice.

 

But anyways, I don't think this sounds that great. I don't know the backstory of you two, but this would tell me no way. Trust your gut. The fact you're doubting this sentence concerns me. And I would say 'be careful' but you should never have that feeling with a successful relationship obviously so I won't say that ;).

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Ooh I hate when guys do that! I knew one guy who said that to me and I was like "what? We aren't even dating". ( I wouldn't let anyone I'm dating say that to me btw). I quickly stopped talking to him. Run for the hills!

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Ok, if you ever feel uncomfortable in any part of any relationship, that is perfectly fine. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO FEEL WHAT YOU FEEL.

 

Personally I see this guy (from how you've described him) as rather controlling and dominating. He already wants to make decisions for you and thinks he knows best. NO. You have control over your own mind, body and soul - NO ONE ELSE.

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I know I'm not a girl but... Why would you date another human if you don't want them to think and decide things for themselves? The only person he knows what's best for is himself, so he should just date himself. (Y)

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Don't listen to him, be yourself, draw your own path, walk that path,and if you want him together with you, draw him on your path too, or just erase him, don't let others take control of your fate and destiny.

 

Embrace your dreams.

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I don't blame you for being skeptical. I'm more inclined to think of it as arrogance. I mean, who says that after such a short time of knowing someone? And it would make me wonder how many more times those same exact words have been repeated before you. 

 

Bleh. No thanks! I'm a romantic, so I can see how those words might be swoon worthy when you actually know and trust a man, but said by someone you've known only a few months, it can come across as creepy/controlling. Or, like he's feeding you lines that worked for him previously. 

 

I'd say your instincts led you right in this one! 

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Ladies, how would you feel if a man whom you have only known for a few months told you:

 

"I know what's best for you. Let me guide you, let me take care of you."

 

would you be smitten or would you feel patronized?

 

I met this dude in April and he already claims to know what's best for me. I'm honestly like wtf.

 

Is this a typical player line? my friends say it's not but I'm not convinced. (this guy is not exactly the innocent type).

 

am I being a stuck up b!%$# or is my discomfort justified?

 

How would you feel in this situation?

 

(For those of you who have read my topic about coming up with a nonchalant birthday present for a man without sending a wrong message, yes, you already know him. This is that dude.)

 

 

thanks in advance.

 

 

Creeper! LOL The only person I would ever find appropriate to say that is a parent or teacher!  :blink:

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thanks for the replies everyone. it's reassuring to know i'm not just being paranoid about the situation. my friends were accusing me of being uptight and too hard on this dude lol

 

 lol i'm 23 and the guy is 28. i told him I grew up without a father figure in my life and maybe that gave him some ideas. lol this dude knows my weak spot now lol we were talking about family and stuff and the convo sorta went in that direction. i was asking him for some advice (work related) and at the end of that convo he said  "i feel like i know what's best for you. let me guide you and take care of you".

i just smiled and let it slide. i don't like drama and the comment didn't really hit me until later. lol

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and yeah about the control issue, i don't know why he's so worried about me and what i'm doing when his a$$ is out there doing whatever he wants. i see suspicious things but i don't ever get at him for that cuz it's none of my business.

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@ragtag

funny thing about scorpios is they wanna know all your business but they don't ever want you in their business lol they wanna keep their secrets but find out all of yours lol  just something I've observed lol i'm an aries tho so i'm too upfront. i don't like hiding things i put my business all out in the open. what you see is what you get lol

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Okay, so he's older. Which is fine.

 

Hahah well speaking astrology now, my moon is very suspicious about this. I am also an aries sun, but my moon is scorp and my first feeling was he was using your honesty to manipulate you in a way from your 'weak spot' as you say, but unfortunately for us aries women we tend to like a guy who can sweep us off our feet and be that knight in shining armor, and a girl who wasn't questioning enough may have fallen for whatever he's... trying to get into (if he is). This just doesn't sit right LOL. Yes, you are right. I hold my secrets in well, but I also am very open about things too. When I trust someone I lay it all out. You seem like you’re a well-rounded Aries woman, which is good because you won’t take much crap and I love the fact you don’t like drama LOL!

 

Do you know this guy's birthday? I don't care for going off of an incomplete natal chart due to time absence, but I can give a general look and see if there's anything interesting. There are mature and immature behaviors for signs and yes, immature scorps tend to pry into others lives due to trust issues while selfishly holding everything in, they also can be very manipulative, and they can disappear. But there's so much to a person I can't just go by 3 signs LOL! Anyways, I have to say ARIES WOMEN ROCK. Even though I'm biased ;D.

 

Now, on the other hand, he may just be terrible with words and it came out wrong... can you tell me more about him? You mentioned he's not so innocent? I feel like my emotions are getting in the way too much LOL! And if this advice he was giving you was JUST for work, then he may have been saying he was going to take care of you in the work place...???

 

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lol oh sorry my bad. From reading your post I thought you and your ex were scorpios lol I don't know that much about astrology but I've heard of natal charts and things like that. never tried it tho lol I just know I'm an aries and the guy in question is a virgo (august 31 1986) 

it's cool that you're an aries. I'm so excited to meet one. I'm the only one I know in real life. lol I'm surrounded by passionate, drama-craving scorpios lol (my mom's nov 2, my best friend nov 16, my sister oct 29, my boss nov 7 lol) it's a hot mess up in here lol

 

what I meant by he's not so innocent is that he's not the type of guy I can really invest too much trust into. he's tried to grope me on numerous occasions, has made suggestive comments about my body, and on the same night he said  'I know what's best for you' he also asked me if I would be willing to look into the possibility of moving in with him. I thought that was a questionable request since he knows I'm a virgin. I mean who asks a virgin to move in with them? like wtf. for what?

 

he probably thinks i'll give in to him if all goes well.

aint gonna happen.

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No worries! It sounds like that sometimes because there is more than the Sun to study in astrology :D. Oh and he wasn’t my ex. Just a friend. Sigh LOL. IME, Virgos can also be manipulative in their own way. They expect certain things sometimes and maybe he’s into you because you’re basically perfection to him with your purity but I’m not sure. I’m just throwing out theories LOL. Do you know where he was born? The timing is a tough one because his Moon can either be Cancer or Leo depending on the time of his birth. I’m leaning more towards the Leo. I can’t imagine a Virgo with a Cancer Moon groping a woman… LOL. But a badly aspected or immature Leo Moon has more of a chance because they can be arrogant, though his Virgo Sun won’t allow it to fully show (even though a Virgo Sun can actually make it worse, it’s hard to explain) because he has to maintain an acceptable, proper form on the outside, until of course, you come along, then he’s trying to cop a feel LOL. Leos also live in drama… any type of drama… they seriously do. So… but this could totally be wrong. If he is a Cancer Moon there is other things we’ll have to look at. Sigh which is why it’s hard without the right info LOL! Of course astrology is just here to help guide us to certain realizations if we choose to ask for the help. It can also be totally wrong. LOL

 

I feel ya. Both my parents are Aquarians (my mom also has a Scorpio moon) and my brother is an Aries like me. I think I love Scorpio people more than anything LOL. They’re so deep and they can keep me thinking about things. It just goes well with my Moon. I also think too many Scorpios like you have in your life may get to be too much hahaha!!! Well you’ve lasted this long ;). They’re awesome people though, even if they are dangerous sometimes.

 

Aries woman to an Aries woman: If you feel you cannot trust a man, you need to push him aside and find a man you can trust. I don’t like the fact that he has tried to grope you. <___< multiple times. Ahem. LOL WHAT!? Are you actually dating this guy? He wants you to move in???? O_____O. Talk about moving fast without a rational reason (unless you’re dating). LOL. You’re right. You may even have some Scorpio in you that you don’t know about because Scorpios can read people better than anyone and they also question everything most of the time. Either that or your family’s traits rubbed off on you :D.

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Creeper! LOL The only person I would ever find appropriate to say that is a parent or teacher!  :blink:

Even a teacher would be creepy >.< 

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I’m leaning more towards the Leo. I can’t imagine a Virgo with a Cancer Moon groping a woman… LOL. 

In general, the water signs usually aren't that inconsiderate to grope someone... Virgo can be a little immature though.

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I mean who asks a virgin to move in with them? like wtf. for what?

For the niceness that comes from living together and having extra moments to spend with each other? But based on everything you've told us about him, he doesn't seem the type to think that.

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@ragtag

well he's originally from seattle. that's all I know lol you got me all confused with this moon stuff lol

i wouldn't call him arrogant but self-assured, i guess? which is a trait i like in a guy.i think the reason i spent this much time with him is because he's interesting to talk to. he's knowledgeable about a lot of different subjects and i feel like I'm always learning something new when I'm with him.

so mentally, I'm pretty happy. emotionally, not so much lol

 

but yeah thanks so much for trying to help me figure this guy out lol i really appreciate it. i feel more confident now about the steps i need to take.

 

also i don't know what went down between you and your friend but i hope you're ok?

the way you talk about him it sounds like you still have feelings for him like there's still some type of unfinished business between you two lol i won't pry into your situation but just making sure you're alright lol

 

you have an aries brother? i would kill to have an aries sibling to keep me sane and always have my back lol

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@Daz

lol yeah i agree there are decent reasons like those but like you said, with him, i don't think it's like that lol

and this might sound weird but I'm just not really the type to "move in" with anybody unless I'm married to the guy and it becomes mandatory lol

I don't mean any disrespect to the couples that wanna do that (i wish them all the best) but i feel like i would feel prematurely suffocated in a situation like that and i don't like getting too comfortable in a relationship. when you move in together that's what tends to happen (not always but high possibility lol)

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I'm the type of person that needs a lot of freedom and space. that doesn't mean I'm gonna cheat on you.  i'm loyal to the core so it's not even about that. i just need space.

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