l8dyluck81

Should Men Give Up Porn?

123 posts in this topic

Firstly, let me say that you & I derive our notions of morality, exploitation & so on from different things; mine are based on principles such as equality, consent & voluntary action while yours are perhaps based on your religion, so there might be a strong divergence in how we perceive certain things because of that....

 

The problem is, Sine, that even the more "couples-centric" porn is still exploitative. Why? Because there are people who are getting paid to have sex on camera, which is basically a form of legal prostitution.

 

Well, I don't have an issue with either so long as people engaging in it VOLUNTARILY agreed to doing those things. As I've said before, I may think that they're perhaps not making a right choice for themselves but then some people might also think that you're not making the right choice for yourself by following the religious path......You know, we all can have an opinion on things but I believe a person should be free to make their choices in life because we mayn't always be able to see & grasp what they see from their point of view.....

 

I could not expect a man to abstain from porn if I myself am using it. Otherwise I'd just be a hypocrite.

Fair enough. Personally, I wouldn't have a problem with it if my future wife has watched porn when she was single otherwise I'd be a hypocrite. In fact, I'd prefer (though not necessarily insist) that my future wife is in touch with her sexuality because I believe that repressing one's sexuality for religious or any other reasons can be damaging to one's sexual as well as general mental wellbeing. But to each his own I guess......

 

I don't want porn to be a part of my life anymore in any way, shape or form. When I meet my future husband I want to have as pure a heart and body for him as possible, so that's why I chose to abstain from porn and masturbation from now on.

 

If that's how you TRULY feel then good for you but if you're trying to repress your sexuality because of your religion then......

 

Plus, I've noticed that lately I'd feel depressed and deflated after using it, where before I used to just feel physically satisfied. Porn no longer fills a need for me the way it did before because I now want so much more than what it can give me.

 

I doubt one's need to feel sexual can just vanish all of a sudden......without a major shift in one's though processes.......Weren't you the girl that has said that you weren't so religious before?

 

To be honest, lately it hasn't even been that effective. I'd feel the urge, I'd do it, but then I couldn't even finish, or there wouldn't be that big of a finish.

Probably due to desensitization as I've said before but it might be a temporary thing......

 

I suppose if I were a typical guy and my use escalated to harder stuff over time, maybe I'd have been able to maintain the excitement, but I find hardcore porn completely abhorrent.

 

You probably could have but as has already been said, it's probably not the best thing to let it escalate because it can lead to further desensitization. Yeah, there's plenty of weird stuff out there......but I believe it's possible to keep using porn without letting oneself escalate to weird fetishes & such. I mean after all these years of watching porn, I've no problem getting aroused by just seeing beautiful girls, who might not even be doing anything "sexual".

 

 What if the guy in the film has really bad BO, or the girl's breath is awful? What if she's faking pleasure because even though he's not necessarily jack-hammering away at her as in a hardcore clip, she's still uncomfortable because they've been at this for hours?

 

Again, as long as they have VOLUNTARILY agreed to do it, it's like a "occupational inconvenience" I guess......many of them working in porn say that "it's just work" for them. And, I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who hate doing some of the thing they have to do at their work you know. As far faking things goes, well, people fake all sorts of emotions in movies, TV programs & stuff so should we be opposed to those as well on the grounds that they're "faking it"?

 

A bit off-topic but what if your future husband happened to have bad BO &/or bad breath?

 

The more I thought about what goes on behind the scenes (and not necessarily abuse, just "normal" filmmaking stuff), the more it turned me off porn. I want the real deal for myself, not this empty substitute.

 

Well, if that's what's turned you off porn then I can respect that. Of course, there's stuff out there that I'd find disgusting but that doesn't turn me off the type of stuff that I don't find disgusting. And, I guess we ALL here want the "real deal" but I don't think that repressing my sexuality is going to help me get the "real deal" either.....

 

Even the amateur stuff does nothing for me now. I see that as just a huge cry for attention, a way for "normal" people to feed into an industry which tears families and marriages apart,

 

Yeah, well, it is attention-seeking but I don't know about it tearing families & marriages apart but again, it's a choice they are making for themselves.....

 

A truly good, respectable Christian man with a high level of integrity would stay far away from that junk because he wouldn't want it to affect the way he sees the real women in his life.

 

Obviously, I'm not Christian but I believe I'm a good man in this respect because I say with such surity that there are no "real women" (as opposed to porn) out there who can say that they caught "sine8181" leering at them because I just haven't done that......barring one regrettable incident, I was just starting puberty I guess (probably hadn't even watched porn then) & looked into a downblouse of a girl, so yeah.......but apart from that I can say I've a clear record when it comes to "real women" despite being a porn-watcher for such a long time. And it's because I've always thought about "What if I was a girl? Would I want anybody looking at me in a sexual way without my consent?", the answer for me was a clear NO. So I've always extended that courtesy to "real women"; with respect to women in porn, there's consent so I've had this clear distinction between the two.

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Personally, I wouldn't have a problem with it if my future wife has watched porn when she was single otherwise I'd be a hypocrite. In fact, I'd prefer (though not necessarily insist) that my future wife is in touch with her sexuality because I believe that repressing one's sexuality for religious or any other reasons can be damaging to one's sexual as well as general mental wellbeing.

 

Not watching porn != repressing your sexuality.

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Not watching porn != repressing your sexuality.

 

Didn't say that.

 

I don't want porn to be a part of my life anymore in any way, shape or form. When I meet my future husband I want to have as pure a heart and body for him as possible, so that's why I chose to abstain from porn and masturbation from now on.

 

If that's how you TRULY feel then good for you but if you're trying to repress your sexuality because of your religion then......

 

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Vince is right when he said that this topic has beaten to death.  But, because it has, I have been able to observe significant patterns in responses!!  For example, a long-time male porn viewer typically says "Women watch porn too!"  That has been a classic reply from male porn-viewers!  And denial such as "I watch porn and it doesn't harm me." (Says the virgin who is a compulsive peeping tom). That is also a common one. So many men stand with you, male porn-viewers!  And maybe a few women but certainly not the majority.  In general, if women watch porn, it is not for the same reasons and it is typically not compulsive.  We just aren't wired the same.  And peeping toms are unattractive. 

And about the romance movies being equivalent to the porn-addictions:  It's similar as it puts unrealistic expectations on relationships, but it deserves its own thread.  Because by bringing it up in this thread diverts the attention off the fact that this generation has a huge porn epidemic. 

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And denial such as "I watch porn and it doesn't harm me." (Says the virgin who is a compulsive peeping tom).

 

Oh, you know me so well! Yeah, well, that's just great coming from an admin.....I don't know how it reflects on this website though.....

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Look, let's just agree to stop insisting that not using any method of getting off while single is equal to repressing sexuality. It. Is. Not. The same thing. I am very much in touch with my sexuality and I do not need to masturbate to porn or have sex in order to be "connected" with myself physically. Why is that even a thing? Why can't people be allowed to say they know what they want while abstaining from giving in to sexual urges outside of marriage? I know exactly what I want. I want the intimacy that comes from great sex with the man I've pledged my life to for eternity. I'm done settling for anything less, INCLUDING porn and masturbation. There is nothing repressive about that. My religion has influenced my views but it does not control them. I am not bound solely by any religious sanction or creed. I am simply sick of settling for less than the best and if anything, my being Catholic has reinforced that feeling, not dictated it. I feel freer now than I did before BECAUSE there is a whole religion, a whole group of teachings, that AFFIRMS my belief that I'm making the best choices sexually. Our society today is so obsessed with sex that a person like me is seen as weird for not indulging myself when I'm alone, for choosing to turn to modesty instead of flaunting my physical assets, and for saving myself for one man only instead of sleeping with half the male population. That there is a place where people will say, "You know what? You're not weird at all, and here's why, because we're the same as you", that has been my saving grace, along with my new found connection with my religion. 

 

My point in illustrating my experience with porn now, with viewing it through a critical lens rather than thinking it's just a harmless fantasy, was that knowing what I know of the porn industry now, I cannot fully suspend disbelief that the people in the films actually want to have sex with each other, and aren't just doing it because they're being paid. When we stop viewing other human beings as tools to get off, as objects to use and discard (because essentially, that's what we are doing when we choose to use porn), that's when we can begin to develop the healthiest possible sexual relationship. It doesn't matter if the people in the films are offering themselves up for use by others voluntarily or if they've been trafficked into it (which does happen).

 

The fact is, we all still have a choice. And we CAN choose to respect our fellow humans by not taking them up on their sexual offerings, whether it's a random porn performer we've never met, or our date for tonight. 

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How can you possibly know that porn desensitizes men if you yourself are not a porn-watcher? I don't believe it makes any difference, unless a porn watcher could give me his experience with erectile dysfunction. If there was a PROFESSIONAL scientific study on the correlation between porn and erectile dysfunction i would love to see it. Anyway; Cheers.

 

 

 

Thanks for the artcles, christianman.

 

Rebochebo, you should also check out the book "The Brain that Changes Itself." MANY cases discussed, many studies cited, in the chapter on plasticity of sexuality.

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Thanks,Paul and ChristianMan! I'll add that if you check out Reddit's NoFap threads, you can read dozens of anecdotes given by men who've sworn off porn and masturbation. They talk openly about how they could no longer perform and find real women as arousing as they normally would when they were in the grip of regular porn use. Bottom line: porn has adverse effects, whether it's an occasional indulgence or a full-blown obsession. That is a fact.

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Porn only has affects on someone if you allow it to have an effect on you. I see nothing wrong with a person watching porn. Just like watching sex scenes in movies or on tv shows. It's not real. As long as a man can separate porn, a fantasy to reality there shouldn't be a problem. Leave porn in the fake world and sex in the real world

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from a christian point of view, yes,

since i have given up all PMO, i got extremely close to God, I didn't realize how blinding that stuff is. i came to understand that it is sin that blinds us from God, and once we turn away, we will be able to open our eyes to the the true God. my life seriously changed since stopping PMO. it can be very addictive, and Im gad i stopped. there are many people who are seriously addicted, and cant stop. their wife's cannot satisfy them any more, they require it. for now i just want to stay focused on the Most High, until he provides me with the right wife for me. i dont want PMO addiction to ruin my relationship with God or my future wife. I trust in God, and know that he knows best, so i am happy.

So wonderful. God bless you! :D

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The problem is, Cookie, that unlike other forms of entertainment, porn is designed to immerse the viewer in the experience. Especially for men, who are much more visually stimulated than women, it is not just a passive activity like watching a movie. The user is actually achieving orgasm while viewing it, which is of course what it's for. The problem with this is that the chemicals released during orgasm are designed to bond people to the person they are experiencing it with. That's how God designed the sexual experience, so a person who uses porn is "bonding" to the porn without any of the benefits of a relationship with a real person. Psychologically, that does have an effect, especially if a person is single. Over time, even with casual use, it can also affect a man's relationship with his wife because by using porn, he isn't focusing all his sexual energy on her. It also tends to make men objectify women and give them unrealistic standards to compare their partner to. This all happens on a subconscious level over time. For most people these effects don't become obvious right away - it can take years before they become apparent. Even people like me, who only used it once a week or so, can feel the negative effects. So if I, as a woman and only an occasional user of softcore porn as an adult, can have that experience, I can only imagine what it does to men who've been viewing porn regularly since they were in their early teens.

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The problem is, Cookie, that unlike other forms of entertainment, porn is designed to immerse the viewer in the experience. Especially for men, who are much more visually stimulated than women, it is not just a passive activity like watching a movie. The user is actually achieving orgasm while viewing it, which is of course what it's for. The problem with this is that the chemicals released during orgasm are designed to bond people to the person they are experiencing it with. That's how God designed the sexual experience, so a person who uses porn is "bonding" to the porn without any of the benefits of a relationship with a real person. Psychologically, that does have an effect, especially if a person is single. Over time, even with casual use, it can also affect a man's relationship with his wife because by using porn, he isn't focusing all his sexual energy on her. It also tends to make men objectify women and give them unrealistic standards to compare their partner to. This all happens on a subconscious level over time. For most people these effects don't become obvious right away - it can take years before they become apparent. Even people like me, who only used it once a week or so, can feel the negative effects. So if I, as a woman and only an occasional user of softcore porn as an adult, can have that experience, I can only imagine what it does to men who've been viewing porn regularly since they were in their early teens.

But if a guy understands that porn is fake it shouldn't be a problem. If he is addicted to watching porn that he can't stop that's a different story. Because then he can't separate fantasy and reality. What's the difference between porn and seeing a naked woman on a magazine cover or billboard? What about men who get their rocks off fantasizing about a female celebrity or about a woman he sees at the checkout line? Porn isn't the real thing. It's acting they follow a script. As long as men know this and know their limits it shouldn't cause any harm in future relationships.

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Hey, you guys are all adults.

 

If you're okay with watching people having sex for money

and you're willing to take the risk that some things you watch won't be consensual

and you're okay with the fact you can't ever prove it's consensual

and you're okay with the fact that this is some woman you know nothing about, not even her name or her hopes or dreams

and you're not bothered that the suicide rates for porn actors/actresses is abnormally high

and therefore you're fine with the thought that the videos you see may show people who are now dead

and you're fine with the knowledge that the actors/actresses may only be doing it as a result of sexual abuse/trauma in their past

and you've examined all the evidence for porn and ED or porn and sexual addiction

and you're willing to take the risks the evidence seems to point to

and you're willing to take the risk that it might have a negative effect on your marriage

and you don't mind the fact that some women (especially those who are WTM) will consider this a deal-breaker

and you don't mind the taking the risk that your future wife might not be okay with you having viewed pornography in the past

and you'll take the risk that your wife might even be hurt by the thought you've pleasured yourself to images of other women

and you don't think that you'll be one of the ones who gets addicted

and you're okay with supporting the porn industry

and you're okay with people finding out (accidentally, or otherwise) that you do this

and you don't believe it objectifies people (men or women)

and you don't believe it's a societal problem

and you don't believe this will affect your view of women in the future

and you don't believe it will affect how you behave in the future

and you don't think it will devalue sex for you in marriage

and you don't think this counts as impurity

and you don't think this is a sin

and you're not ashamed of using porn

 

then, you've got free will. I can't stop you.

 

For me, it's a deal-breaker. If a boyfriend admits that he watches porn, then the relationship is immediately over. If he's watched it in the past, but now accepts that it's a serious sin and is repentant, then I'll forgive him - we all sin, after all. If it was a particularly serious problem, then I will take into account the fact that this might have a real effect on how he now views sex. If it was/is an addiction that he's struggling with but seriously wants to stop, then I'll have to deal with that. If it's a serious addiction, then I'll have to take an active role in preventing it (monitoring what websites he visits, what TV shows/channels he has access to, etc.). If it's particularly serious, and he can't control it, I might have to say, "I'm sorry, but I can't marry someone with a serious addiction that would harm me and our future children. You have to get it under control, or else I can't be your wife."

 

xxx

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Hey, you guys are all adults.

 

If you're okay with watching people having sex for money

and you're willing to take the risk that some things you watch won't be consensual

and you're okay with the fact you can't ever prove it's consensual

and you're okay with the fact that this is some woman you know nothing about, not even her name or her hopes or dreams

and you're not bothered that the suicide rates for porn actors/actresses is abnormally high

and therefore you're fine with the thought that the videos you see may show people who are now dead

and you're fine with the knowledge that the actors/actresses are only doing it as a result of sexual abuse/trauma in their past

and you've examined all the evidence for porn and ED or porn and sexual addiction

and you're willing to take the risks the evidence seems to point to

and you're willing to take the risk that it might have a negative effect on your marriage

and you don't mind the fact that some women (especially those who are WTM) will consider this a deal-breaker

and you don't mind the taking the risk that your future wife might not be okay with you having viewed pornography in the past

and you'll take the risk that your wife might even be hurt by the thought you've pleasured yourself to images of other women

and you don't think that you'll be one of the ones who gets addicted

and you're okay with supporting the porn industry

and you're okay with people finding out (accidentally, or otherwise) that you do this

and you don't believe it objectifies people (men or women)

and you don't believe it's a societal problem

and you don't believe this will affect your view of women in the future

and you don't believe it will affect how you behave in the future

and you don't think it will devalue sex for you in marriage

and you don't think this counts as impurity

and you don't think this is a sin

and you're not ashamed of using porn

 

then, you've got free will. I can't stop you.

 

For me, it's a deal-breaker. If a boyfriend admits that he watches porn, then the relationship is immediately over. If he's watched it in the past, but now accepts that it's a serious sin and is repentant, then I'll forgive him - we all sin, after all. If it was a particularly serious problem, then I will take into account the fact that this might have a real effect on how he now views sex. If it was/is an addiction that he's struggling with but seriously wants to stop, then I'll have to deal with that. If it's a serious addiction, then I'll have to take an active role in preventing it (monitoring what websites he visits, what TV shows/channels he has access to, etc.). If it's particularly serious, and he can't control it, I might have to say, "I'm sorry, but I can't marry someone with a serious addiction that would harm me and our future children. You have to get it under control, or else I can't be your wife."

 

xxx

 

This is why Jegs is awesome. I foresee she will be canonized by the Catholic Church even before she dies.

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I am a woman and I love that site. Even if it is part of the "manosphere", it has great articles.

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www.fightthenewdrug.org

 

Has this site anything to do with religion or is motivated by religion?

Because some people in the comments under a few videos of the YouTube channel are saying some bad things like "religious bull****" and bring religion into the discussion...

And I´m wondering why.

Do they only assume the organization is driven by religious people and can´t imagine that there are non-religious, non-church-going people who don´t watch porn and despise it? Or is this organization actually driven by religion and religious people?

 

I can´t find any sign of religion, God or anything else on this matter on the site.

I´m just asking out of curiosity.

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Not only men, but the world as a whole should give up porn. I never understood porn and its force of attraction that it exerts on humanity.

Even if you take sexuality as a normal, healthy and important human feature and desire out of the discussion, I don´t get why somebody would support an industry that does more damage than good in the long run. Abuse, drugs, sextrafficking, STD´s, death, false promises made to desperate men and women.

 

And then on the other side there is the porn consumer, who gets nothing than a short-term gratification out of porn, but contributes to the survival and continuance of the porn industry by consuming the material. And by doing that he/she may also hurt the relationships in his/her life.

Of course, there are differences relative to what kind of porn someone participates in or watches and how often. But that´s not really my point nor does it make anything better...

 

Where is the good that comes from porn? Something worthwile? Something worth fighting for? Something positive and something that makes a valuable and beautiful difference in someone´s world?

I don´t see any good in porn and so far I don´t believe there is. I don´t want porn to be a part of my life - not even a tiny part - that´s why I don´t support it. Porn is disgusting and sad, at once. These are only my thoughts on this matter....I guess, it will always be a topic with very different views and opinions.

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Do they only assume the organization is driven by religious people and can´t imagine that there are non-religious, non-church-going people who don´t watch porn and despise it? 

 

In a word: yup. I get it all the time when it comes to waiting, as well. People (religious *and* non-religious) assume that the only reason anyone would want to avoid jumping into bed with someone after the 3rd date is because they're uber-religious.

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Has this site anything to do with religion or is motivated by religion?

Because some people in the comments under a few videos of the YouTube channel are saying some bad things like "religious bull****" and bring religion into the discussion...

And I´m wondering why.

 

Don't read youtube comments, they are literally the dregs of the internet.

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YouTube commenters will argue about Hitler and the Third Reich on a My Little Pony video.

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Not only men, but the world as a whole should give up porn. I never understood porn and its force of attraction that it exerts on humanity.

Even if you take sexuality as a normal, healthy and important human feature and desire out of the discussion, I don´t get why somebody would support an industry that does more damage than good in the long run. Abuse, drugs, sextrafficking, STD´s, death, false promises made to desperate men and women.

And then on the other side there is the porn consumer, who gets nothing than a short-term gratification out of porn, but contributes to the survival and continuance of the porn industry by consuming the material. And by doing that he/she may also hurt the relationships in his/her life.

Of course, there are differences relative to what kind of porn someone participates in or watches and how often. But that´s not really my point nor does it make anything better...

Where is the good that comes from porn? Something worthwile? Something worth fighting for? Something positive and something that makes a valuable and beautiful difference in someone´s world?

I don´t see any good in porn and so far I don´t believe there is. I don´t want porn to be a part of my life - not even a tiny part - that´s why I don´t support it. Porn is disgusting and sad, at once. These are only my thoughts on this matter....I guess, it will always be a topic with very different views and opinions.

porn is a legal career. Depending on the company, some make sure their actors are clean std/hiv clearance ahead of time. Why do people become strippers or pprostitues? Some go in it for money and fame others go in it because they think it's the right thing to do or the only option. I get why some watch it. It isn't my cup of tea but I think it's good to have a fantasy. What is reality tv? Entertainment. Just like porn. Fantasy, in any form, represents an unobtainable reality. Porn represents it from a sexual perspective. People that basically can't or don't achieve in reality what they wish they would or could turn to other means to try to get it. It's sad from a perspective that many people only exist in this type of unhealthy environment rather than get out and make reality happen in their lives and create memories and experiences that are helpful and healthy. Lorn has been around since ancient times in one form or another. it will never go away. it's actually quite normal to look at porn. i mean yeah, theres a problem if they are watching it every second of everyday, theres a time when normal people go "okay....i've seen too much porn today" some people might get addicted, which is a problem.

The point is that porn involves situations that simply can't happen in real life. Are you ever going to sleep with the girl at the dry cleaners? No. Are you ever going to win a wrestling match with a girl and then savage her? No. Are you ever going to have sex with identical twins? Or sex with the pizza guy or two sisters?You are not. Which means that porn is, in essence, escapism. People play certain video games because they want to experience what it would be like to shoot a police officer. That doesn't mean they'd ever want to do a thing like that. And people watch porn because, they want to experience what it would be like to hypnotize a woman and turn her into a slave doll with no will of her own. More like fifty shades of grey. As long as you dont bring that fantasy into your own life and expect sex to be like that then it shouldn't be a problem

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The point is that porn involves situations that simply can't happen in real life. Are you ever going to sleep with the girl at the dry cleaners? No. Are you ever going to win a wrestling match with a girl and then savage her? No. Are you ever going to have sex with identical twins? Or sex with the pizza guy or two sisters?You are not. 

 

Woah woah woah, speak for yourself. The pizza guy and I have a wonderful thing going on.

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Cookie,

The kind of porn that is widely available today is vastly different from the "porn" that cave-dwellers drew on stone walls. That kind of thing was considered art because it celebrated the beauty of the natural human being. Porn, by its very nature, exists solely to entice the user to view the human participants as sexual objects only. That is why it is wrong: because people are being used, and to use other human beings toward your own selfish end is never morally right, even when they willingly allow it.

Also, I want to point out that porn use is not normal, it has been NORMALIZED by the media and the ubiquity of it on the Internet. Did you know there are cultures in this world in which the people have no clue what masturbation is or even how it's done? That proves to me that it's not an inherently inbred predisposition for humans to habitually seek sexual release without a partner. Rather, it seems more like a social construct that's become more widely accepted in the years since the first printing press was invented.

This is no surprise in a culture that is now so cravenly oversexed that toddlers are being dressed up as hookers and paraded around on tv, and teen mothers are glorified in their very own reality series.

Also, I disagree that porn use feeds an individual's sexual fantasies. In many cases, porn CREATES the fantasy and spoon-feeds it to the user. How many people would really come up with things like eliminating on each other or being choked to incite an orgasm on their own? Many times the user sees something and only then gets the idea to try it out. In that way, the industry helps to create and then to feed the demand by introducing these concepts to a wide audience and then producing more and more extreme "fantasies" designed to keep users coming back.

It's my personal belief that the prevalence of porn and the hookup culture go hand in hand. In particular to me as a woman wtm, it seems like guys (even the nice ones) have become incredibly spoiled by the widespread availability of porn, and the increasingly low standards of women who'll drop trou at the first sign of mutual attraction. They seem to feel entitled to receive sex with little to no real commitment or effort. The availability of the endless variety of internet porn helps to fuel their assumption that it is their right to be sexually satisfied. No matter how release is achieved or at whose expense they are choosing to siphon off their desires, instead of directing where they belong.

If you want to have the best sex life you could ever have, it seems to me that abstaining from porn,and making the effort to keep your thoughts and fantasies where they belong (on your spouse) is where it's at.

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Cookie,

The kind of porn that is widely available today is vastly different from the "porn" that cave-dwellers drew on stone walls. That kind of thing was considered art because it celebrated the beauty of the natural human being. Porn, by its very nature, exists solely to entice the user to view the human participants as sexual objects only. That is why it is wrong: because people are being used, and to use other human beings toward your own selfish end is never morally right, even when they willingly allow it.

Also, I want to point out that porn use is not normal, it has been NORMALIZED by the media and the ubiquity of it on the Internet. Did you know there are cultures in this world in which the people have no clue what masturbation is or even how it's done? That proves to me that it's not an inherently inbred predisposition for humans to habitually seek sexual release without a partner. Rather, it seems more like a social construct that's become more widely accepted in the years since the first printing press was invented.

This is no surprise in a culture that is now so cravenly oversexed that toddlers are being dressed up as hookers and paraded around on tv, and teen mothers are glorified in their very own reality series.

Also, I disagree that porn use feeds an individual's sexual fantasies. In many cases, porn CREATES the fantasy and spoon-feeds it to the user. How many people would really come up with things like eliminating on each other or being choked to incite an orgasm on their own? Many times the user sees something and only then gets the idea to try it out. In that way, the industry helps to create and then to feed the demand by introducing these concepts to a wide audience and then producing more and more extreme "fantasies" designed to keep users coming back.

It's my personal belief that the prevalence of porn and the hookup culture go hand in hand. In particular to me as a woman wtm, it seems like guys (even the nice ones) have become incredibly spoiled by the widespread availability of porn, and the increasingly low standards of women who'll drop trou at the first sign of mutual attraction. They seem to feel entitled to receive sex with little to no real commitment or effort. The availability of the endless variety of internet porn helps to fuel their assumption that it is their right to be sexually satisfied. No matter how release is achieved or at whose expense they are choosing to siphon off their desires, instead of directing where they belong.

If you want to have the best sex life you could ever have, it seems to me that abstaining from porn,and making the effort to keep your thoughts and fantasies where they belong (on your spouse) is where it's at.

There are tons of people who have fantasies like pretending to be raped or being choked. I don't think porn uses people because going into porn it's a choice. If a guy is so hooked on porn he watches everyday and then brings that into his relationship thats a problem. I do think for men they might look at a woman in porn orgasm or do certain things and then have a different outlook on sex. AGAIN they need to realize real sex doesn't work like that. People have some weird fantasies and porn allows a person to act out that fantasy. Sometimes it's that fantasy that leads to arousal. Now what are the odds of a wife agreeing to a three some if the husband has that fantasy? Or a woman getting pulled over by a cop and having sex with him?Slim to none. If a guy feels that he should get sex without commitment that's his problem not porns. We all make choices. Porn is a billion dollar business around the world. It's not going anywhere. like I said I don't watch it, but having sex on camera isn't dirty. Nor is making a legal career for yourself. I just don't see this topic the same way you do

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