Jasmine23

Birth control/condoms as a married man or woman

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So I was wondering what do you all think about using condoms and birth control as married men and women.

Personally for me I strongly wholeheartedly believe they shouldn't be used. As most of you know, I am super old fashion. I believe that sex between husband and wife should be without any protection or control unless a mans wife or woman's husband was born with an STD like hiv or received an STD from an ex. I also believe a woman is supposed to have children but I know some choose not to. Just my beliefs don't get mad.

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I personally would use contraception, but would choose a method such as an IUD that didn't involve messing around with hormones etc. It's a good method of contraception (98/99% effective) and it's effects can easily be reversed simply by removing the device.

I definitely do want a family, but I want to ensure that I have at least some control over my fertility.

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From test my sisters and mom are super fertile. My sister still ended up pregnant even on birth control. Now she's looking into the IUD. Her husband is the one pushing for children and is totally against it with me.

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I'm looking into the copper IUD as well (it's actually more than 99% effective)! I went on the pill and had some serious adverse side effects, so I'm reluctant to do anything with hormones again. And I don't think my partner would be thrilled with having to use condoms for 25+ years of marriage....

 

I really want to have children...but like, two, maybe three, not the ten-TWENTY kids I'd have if I went completely without any form of birth control for my entire marriage. First off, there's just no way I could afford so many children. Secondly, I think the stress of it all would make me a very bad, or just ineffectual, parent. From what I've heard, often in these mega-huge families, the oldest siblings basically end up parenting the younger siblings, because there's just too many kids for one full-time mom and one dad who likely has to work 60-80 hrs/week to support that family to handle. I don't think it's fair to put that on the siblings who didn't ask for it, and who deserve to have a childhood/teenagerhood. Plus it's not unusual for the mom to develop physical/mental problems because of the giant toll having so many kids in such quick succession has taken on her body.

 

So basically, I'll likely get the copper IUD fairly soon, and since it lasts ten years, I would never have to deal with it again until I decided to have my first kid (I'm almost 22, and I definitely want kid #1 before 32). Unless SO and I decide we want first and second kid to be super close in age, I'd probably get another IUD put in, get it taken out much sooner for the second kid, and repeat if we decide we want and can afford a third kid. I'll see if I can convince my SO into getting the ol'snip-snip once we're for-sure done having kids.  ;)

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I also prefer my wife having an IUD. I don't like the concept of wearing condoms.

 

It'll also be her choice, though.

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Hopefully by the time I'm active they'll have made a male birth control, after all "It makes more sense to fire a gun with no bullets, than to shoot at a bullet proof vest".

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I was on the Pill several times prior to marriage to help with debilitating cramps. Like I had some months where I was bedridden the first day of my period because I was in so much pain. I went on the Patch, which is also hormonal contraception, about a month before I got married. It's basically changed my life. It's waaaaay better for my body than the Pill. I don't have to remember to take it every day. I have a 24-hour window once a week to change it (I can go 12 hours earlier or later than I put it on the week before). After six months of nonstop use, my periods are lighter, only last a few days instead of a whole week, they're consistent instead of ranging wildly, and my cramps are almost nonexistent. With the bonus of not getting pregnant. My husband and I want a kid eventually, and it's honestly going to suck so much going off BC to conceive. I just hope I get pregnant really fast whenever that happens!

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Hopefully by the time I'm active they'll have made a male birth control, after all "It makes more sense to fire a gun with no bullets, than to shoot at a bullet proof vest".

 

That's impossible. If you decrease the sperm count, which horribly failed during countless experiments, or prevent muscle contractions, which is nearly impossible without having an impact on your erection, it'll take away your fertility, this is proven in scientific tests.

 

There is a 'hormone' based male control pill that does work, but it'll just make you less man and it'll also have side-effects on your fertility together with some other complications related to the lack of testosterone in your body.

The only absolute method for preventing ejaculation is sterilization. Go for it bro :D

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I'll use condoms sometimes and probably have a nonhormonal way of contraception NFP and stuff like that. I like the idea of skin-on-skin for at least 85-90% of the time :D...too blunt?

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I'll use condoms sometimes and probably have a nonhormonal way of contraception NFP and stuff like that. I like the idea of skin-on-skin for at least 85-90% of the time :D...too blunt?

 

Straightforward!

 

I like such people :D

 

And yeah, I prefer skin on skin too :P

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I'm a skin to skin girl 100% of the time lol

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"Given that women are fertile only a few days per cycle [and men are fertile every single day], it's ironic that they're the ones who risk the vast array of side effects and physical ramifications of birth control." Toni Weschler, MPH Taking Charge of Your Fertility

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We are skinners! Waaaaiiitttt..... :o

Natural Family Planning for me. Skin on skin all the way.

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I'm looking into the copper IUD as well (it's actually more than 99% effective)! 

 

From what I've heard, often in these mega-huge families, the oldest siblings basically end up parenting the younger siblings, because there's just too many kids for one full-time mom and one dad who likely has to work 60-80 hrs/week to support that family to handle. I don't think it's fair to put that on the siblings who didn't ask for it, and who deserve to have a childhood/teenagerhood. 

 

If/when I ever get married, I'll also seriously consider the copper IUD.  If you do end up getting it, I hope you'll let me know what you think of it!

 

Also, I can vouch for your statement about huge families.  One of my parents was the eldest in a huge family (we're talking kids in the double digits) and, consequently, my parents waited until they'd been married for over a decade to have me (I'm an only child) because the parent in question wanted/needed a break from taking care of kids since they had indeed spent their childhood and teenage years essentially raising their younger siblings. 

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It's cool that there are so many IUD fans on here -- so many people I talk to about it IRL have no idea what it is! And these are people who have had tons of sex! Plus there are several really unflattering myths surrounding the IUD that are floating around; I'm glad they haven't affected too many people on here.   :)

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It's cool that there are so many IUD fans on here -- so many people I talk to about it IRL have no idea what it is! And these are people who have had tons of sex! Plus there are several really unflattering myths surrounding the IUD that are floating around; I'm glad they haven't affected too many people on here.   :)

 

I actually used to work in a hospital clinic where contraception advice was given and from the knowledge I have of the different options available, the copper IUD seems by far the most convenient, long term and easily reversed option :) 

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I haven't studied all the details, but it is theorized that an IUD doesn't just kill the sperm and eggs before they can join, but also kills fertilized eggs before/when they try to implant.  And since a fertilized egg can begin to develop into a child outside of the uterus, it stands to reason that a fertilized egg could be considered conception.  So that is why some people are cautious about IUD's and like to find ways to avoid using them.

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I used to take an anti-androgenic birth control to treat my acne when it got really bad. The positives were that it helped with my cramps and hirsutism (slightly), the negatives were that it actually made my acne worse and I became more depressed. I guess I'll just try it out once more and see if the side-effects aren't so bad anymore, otherwise I'll get an IUD. Just to play it safe, I would still want my husband to wear a condom if I were on birth control.

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It's cool that there are so many IUD fans on here -- so many people I talk to about it IRL have no idea what it is! And these are people who have had tons of sex! Plus there are several really unflattering myths surrounding the IUD that are floating around; I'm glad they haven't affected too many people on here.   :)

 

My wife and i are big fans of the IUD :-)

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I haven't studied all the details, but it is theorized that an IUD doesn't just kill the sperm and eggs before they can join, but also kills fertilized eggs before/when they try to implant.  And since a fertilized egg can begin to develop into a child outside of the uterus, it stands to reason that a fertilized egg could be considered conception.  So that is why some people are cautious about IUD's and like to find ways to avoid using them.

 

 

That is not true, though -- everything I've looked up about the IUD say that, while there might be a small chance a fertilized egg will fail to implant when using an IUD, a woman is far, far more likely to pass a fertilized egg from the unprotected sex she has when she and her husband are trying to conceive their children (fertilized eggs naturally fail to implant about 50% of the time).

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That is not true, though -- everything I've looked up about the IUD say that, while there might be a small chance a fertilized egg will fail to implant when using an IUD, a woman is far, far more likely to pass a fertilized egg from the unprotected sex she has when she and her husband are trying to conceive their children (fertilized eggs naturally fail to implant about 50% of the time).

This. Also, the copper that the implant is composed of is toxic to sperm and kills virtually all of the sperm that enter the uterus. Accidental conception whilst using the copper IUD is very rare. The IUD has a side effect of causing irritation of the uterine walls making it unsuitable for a fertilized egg to implant, but personally I'd rather take the risk of losing a fertilized egg than having to adjust to having an established pregnancy if I decided not to use contraception at all. I understand that this is a very emotive issue but my personal beliefs allow me to justify using this form of contraception.

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This. Also, the copper that the implant is composed of is toxic to sperm and kills virtually all of the sperm that enter the uterus. Accidental conception whilst using the copper IUD is very rare.

 

Thanks for providing such helpful information! Do you happen to know anything about the chances of accidental conception with hormonal IUDs? I have heard that it is extremely rare as well, but since they don't have copper, and typically don't suppress ovulation, it's not quite as clear to me how they work....

 

 

On a side note, here's a great article that makes a very good pro-life argument for the birth control pill (though it really applies to any effective contraceptive).http://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism/2012/10/how-i-lost-faith-in-the-pro-life-movement.html

 

The whole thing is actually a really long piece about how the author lost faith in the pro-life movement (as in, the organized political movement and its leaders, not lay-people who believe life begins at conception). If you don't want to read all that, only read that parts that are titled "Does the Pill Kill?" and "The Biggest Killer: A Woman's Own Body."

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Thanks for providing such helpful information! Do you happen to know anything about the chances of accidental conception with hormonal IUDs? I have heard that it is extremely rare as well, but since they don't have copper, and typically don't suppress ovulation, it's not quite as clear to me how they work....

The hormonal IUDs release progestogen which works to impede conception/implantation in two ways - by thickening the mucus at the entrance of the cervix to stop the sperm from reaching the uterus, and also by thinning the uterine lining to make it less accepting of a fertilized egg. It is as effective as the copper IUD (99%+) :)

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Honestly? Aside from anything that kills a fetus, I am all for contraceptives. I don't want to set out to have kids. I don't mind(maybe God will see it differently) with the idea of raising my nephew(s) when the time comes, or his kids if he has them. It's ok for some people to believe that they are meant to have children... no hate here, some women have that need to be pregnant and give birth, and I understand that. :) I don't believe that we necessarily have to have kids to feel fulfilled as a woman. I may grow old and die alone, for all I know... and since I'm WTM... Although, I don't feel that that is necessarily Gods plan for me. However, adoption is the way I'd like to go, if my husband feels like he'd like to raise more kids. An older child, they have such a hard time finding someone willing to take them and give them love. However, if God did say 'ha, those walls your putting off are no match for me! lol' I would love that kid like my mom loved me, unconditionally. He/she would find it hard to believe that I never wanted children, if they were told. Don't hate that I don't think we all HAVE to have kids. ;) Still, I plan on (and hope that my future husband agrees that's it's best) taking any precaution possible, OTHER THAN killing the fetus off. Just to be clear? I am (what I refer to as) pro life/choice. I don't believe in abortion, or the morning after pill, or any of those things, but I also don't believe it's my right to tell other women how to live their lives. They have to be true to themselves, and live with themselves, and answer to God for themselves. Of course, there is one way to avoid needing any contraceptives... and STILL not having a chance for kids... but a guy has to be pretty open, not to mention extremely sure of his manhood, for a vasectomy. :) Even then, it's up to God, because those are not even as fool-proof as people think.

 

I think I may have answered more than JUST your question, but my other thoughts spilled into that paragraph, as well... and I don't know how to stop that. lol

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