TroubleMaker

Keep Her Guessing

52 posts in this topic

What if.......... just what if......

A guy you were courting/dating/being pursued by told you nothing about his sexual past. Would you even ask about that?

If you are one to ask a guy and then he chose not to answer or didn't answer seriously in a playful way then would you care?

Thanks :)

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I personally would ask, particularly if they reacted well to the fact that I am waiting until marriage. If they dodged the question or didn't take it seriously I would see it as a red flag - if they're prepared to be dishonest about something that is so important to the woman that they're dating then who knows what else they might be lying about.

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Not being dishonest just either not answering or not answering seriously

Ex:

- "How many girlfriends have you had?"

- "Ummmmmmmmmmm somewhere between -1 and 1,000,000" cue big smile and hearty laughter.

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Not being dishonest just either not answering or not answering seriously

Ex:

- "How many girlfriends have you had?"

- "Ummmmmmmmmmm somewhere between -1 and 1,000,000" cue big smile and hearty laughter.

That would just annoy me tbh. Not cute at all.

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I would definitely ask. Why wouldn't someone tell about their past? Especially if they really care about the person. Wouldn't you be upset if you found out that your girlfriend turned wife has had a lot of past and never told you? Wouldn't you be curious?

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The past is part of who you are and how you became the person you are today. If he isn't willing to share the past with me, why would I want to share the future with him?

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I'm not one of the ladies but, I will respond to this anyway because I am a man and, the behavior you describe is not the behavior of a man.  It is the behavior of a weasel.

Why would somebody do that?  The only reasons for a male to do something like that is because they are either a major game-playing jerk, they are trying to connive their way into a woman's life and/or pants, or they simply aren't man enough to own up to their past and who they are.  Most sensible women would dump a guy who played monkey games like that.  Real people just don't have time for that type of nonsense.  Life is way too short to squander any of it on stupidity like that.

I don't' understand the point of this thread.  Do you know somebody who does that?  Are you testing the waters?  What?

"Keep her guessing" indeed.  The title of this thread should have been:

How a male can act like the rear end of a donkey and waste a woman's time by showing her just how little he thinks of her.

I hate to be mean but, the unmanly behavior and ungentlemanly mindset of so many modern males disgusts me and is simply unacceptable.

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I'm not one of the ladies but, I will respond to this anyway because I am a man and, the behavior you describe is not the behavior of a man.  It is the behavior of a weasel.

Why would somebody do that?  The only reasons for a male to do something like that is because they are either a major game-playing jerk, they are trying to connive their way into a woman's life and/or pants, or they simply aren't man enough to own up to their past and who they are.  Most sensible women would dump a guy who played monkey games like that.  Real people just don't have time for that type of nonsense.  Life is way too short to squander any of it on stupidity like that.

I don't' understand the point of this thread.  Do you know somebody who does that?  Are you testing the waters?  What?

"Keep her guessing" indeed.  The title of this thread should have been:How a male can act like the rear end of donkey and waste a woman's time by showing her just how little he thinks of her.

I hate to be mean but, the unmanly behavior and ungentlemanly mindset of so many modern males disgusts me and is simply unacceptable.

I salute you!

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Not being dishonest just either not answering or not answering seriously

Ex:

- "How many girlfriends have you had?"

- "Ummmmmmmmmmm somewhere between -1 and 1,000,000" cue big smile and hearty laughter.

Somewhere between -1 and +1

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Yes, I want to know. No, it wouldn't be okay if he didn't answer or brushed it aside.

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Wait just a minute..........
What if the guy is .... really inexperienced and embarrassed?
And he just doesn't want to answer because he thinks he will judged by the entire population.
 

Had a girlfriend quite some time ago but not quite so long ago. I was a virgin and she wasn't. I told her that I was... of course expecting that information to be private and unshared. Some time after that and then I an talking to a few male acquaintances and then in conversation comes up my "status". Trust in that on the inside I was fuming. However when it came up I instinctively lied not even thinking about it. *Well not exactly lie but being ambiguous. And then I re-told whatever I said to the girl. It was a sickening ordeal I rather not go through again.

I am guessing everyone just thought that maybe the hypothetical man in my post was probably a "player" but.......

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Then I think the obvious thing to do would be to say that you'd been burned by having someone spread that information around, and you'd prefer to put off that conversation until you got to know one another a bit better. You can't put it off forever though; the scariest and most rewarding part of being in a relationship *is* trusting them with your most vulnerable secrets.

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Wait just a minute..........

What if the guy is .... really inexperienced and embarrassed?

And he just doesn't want to answer because he thinks he will judged by the entire population.

Had a girlfriend quite some time ago but not quite so long ago. I was a virgin and she wasn't. I told her that I was... of course expecting that information to be private and unshared. Some time after that and then I an talking to a few male acquaintances and then in conversation comes up my "status". Trust in that on the inside I was fuming. However when it came up I instinctively lied not even thinking about it. *Well not exactly lie but being ambiguous. And then I re-told whatever I said to the girl. It was a sickening ordeal I rather not go through again.

I am guessing everyone just thought that maybe the hypothetical man in my post was probably a "player" but.......

How can anything you said be looked at as a player?

I can say though a lie is a lie no matter how you tell it. You lied to the girl and she told people. Regardless to what happened that doesn't mean you hide your past from someone you're dating. It will always come right back to bite you in the Cojones!

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^ I actually told the truth

    then she told others

However when it came up I instinctively lied not even thinking about it. *Well not exactly lie but being ambiguous. And then I re-told whatever I said to the girl. It was a sickening ordeal I rather not go through again.

Who did you lie to than?

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This post has nothing to do with lying only choosing not to answer questions or to answer them ambiguously. *Just making that clear*

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This post has nothing to do with lying only choosing not to answer questions or to answer them ambiguously. *Just making that clear*

 

I would consider this situation as lying by omission.  However you spin it, the truth is not being told.

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I would consider this situation as lying by omission.  However you spin it, the truth is not being told.

Thank you. Took to words right out of my mouth

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Oh, Dios mío este tío!

I'm not trying to argue or cause trouble (hehe)

You're the one that talked about lying. *just making that clear*

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Dude, that is some sort of lying. And you don't have such right in a relationship, what about trust and belief then? My woman will have the right to know EVERYTHING about me and I'll answer her EVERYTHING about me unless it's really personal and not in any interest of our relationship.

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unless it's really personal and not in any interest of our relationship.

^ exactly, The same applies to what I'm talking about.

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That's NOT something personal and something you should hide in a relationship.

 

Personal problems are for example, having problems with your prostate or with your work, and they will stay personal until it starts affecting your family, or problems with your parents.

 

Even THEN you should share it to your wife, cause your wife is your soulmate, your key, your everything. If you decide to hide things from her she wants to know (things that are important in a relatonship), then you are a liar and an untrustworthy person.

 

Don't get the wrong idea, I'm not insisting you on telling her the truth, I'm just trying to describe what it means hiding such a thing from your wife/girlfriend.

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