Adeleyestar

Serious discussion : rape culture

9 posts in this topic

I heard on the news that there was a sixteen your old girl who was drugged at a house party over the summer and raped. The group of people who did this took pictures, video, and made a song and posted it online. On twitter the kids in her neighborhood post picks of themselves in the same pose she was in when she was passed out. Now I'm baffled at the fact that no one has been arrested. But part of what is going on is the fact that too many people do not even see this as rape. I believe that the extremely loose culture that has developed in our society has desensitized sexual intimacy and has made people see each other as sex objects and nothing else. What are your opinions?

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It sounds like a very sad situation all around. I think social media has created a much more self centered society which is why they were willing to mock her. People are unable to show empathy due to the constant exposure to violence and sex that seems so common in the online world.  Sex has no real "value" to them so when it is taken by force they do not see it as a loss. Many feel that it can't happen to them but, it clearly does happen and it's almost always perpetrated by someone the victim knew.

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I find that appalling and horrifying. I really cannot understand how anyone can see a human being in pain and then mock them as if it were no big deal. Is this really what we as human beings are coming to? Like you Adeleyestar I am confused as to why no arrests were made. Where are the girls parents. I know if something like this happened to me my parents would make sure the people responsible were held responsible. Regardless of whether I am an adult or not. I also don't think it is just the desensitization of sex I think it is the desensitization of life and the do whatever I want whenever I want it train of thought that is becoming more and more popular.

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Disgusting as it is, something like this is happening everywhere in the world as we speak. I sometimes feel mad at myself that I only hear or read of such things, feel sorry for a while and then get on with my life. My empathy has not made a difference. However, I am not surprised that these things come to pass, because this is exactly what the Bible tells me is going to happen as the end draws near. In a world where God is mocked there is nothing that can be expected but violence, pain, sorrow and ultimately, eternal death. Sorry for sounding preachy but these are my sentiments.

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I'm honestly at a loss for words, just Wow!

(I had to re-read that three times!)

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this is so disturbing:( I really do hope that someone steps up for the girl and those jerks end up in jail. I'm afraid for our generation and how deeply apathetic they are to other people and their pain. How did they not even realize it's rape? The desensitizing of our culture is so far gone that sociopathy is becoming the new norm. The whole 'It didn't happen to me, so who gives a sh*t'-  its hilarious!' train of thought is sociopathy at its worst. 

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I think lots of guys in this world don't believe a girl when she says no. They rationalize their behavior by thinking that even though she said no she still secretly wants it. Even when I'm drunk I know the boundaries and right and wrong. There has to be a complete lack of respect, maturity, and integrity for a guy to fuck a girl who is unwilling or not even capable of saying no (if she is passed out).

Ladies should be careful especially at parties. Know what you're drinking, how much you're drinking, and who the people around you are. Because there are grown boys (not grown Men), that will take advantage of you first chance they get. The victim is never to blame, but there are preventative tactics one can undergo to stay safe. Like only party with close trustworthy friends.

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If it wasn't for the grace of God, these animals would be the first in line to be sent to hell. This poor girl is going to have to live with the emotional and physical trauma for the rest of her life because some people decided to have some cheap thrills. How sick and twisted do you have to be to drug and rape someone then shame your victim by posting your crimes online for the world to see? That is pure EVIL. I am generally a slow to anger person, but this is one of the few things that just REALLY makes me seeth with anger. If I was that girl's father or brother, I would beat these cockroaches so close to death that they are unrecognizable then put their faces on the news as a message to all rapists out there. I'm sorry if I am sounding very raw, but this sort of thing really upsets me. I acknowledge that I am a broken person and I need forgiveness just as much as these people and that I need to be more forgiving. My heart just really hurts for this girl and all rape victims.

 

One other thing that I find greatly disturbing is how so many people today, especially youth think that there is a huge grey area when it comes to consent. Many people actually believe that if a person didn't explicitly say "no" or is passed out, then it's not rape. It's not an issue of whether they said "no" or not, it's a matter whether they consciously and willingly said "yes."

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One other thing that I find greatly disturbing is how so many people today, especially youth think that there is a huge grey area when it comes to consent. Many people actually believe that if a person didn't explicitly say "no" or is passed out, then it's not rape. It's not an issue of whether they said "no" or not, it's a matter whether they consciously and willingly said "yes."

Exactly. Drug-facilitated sexual assault is very relevant to my field--I've attended workshops on it, been more directly involved (no, I do not intend to elaborate for privacy reasons), and as it happens even have another upcoming two-day workshop on the topic next week.

Vince is right. Passive assent means nothing if the person was not able/in a position to give active, capable, informed consent.

Part of the reason many of these cases don't get prosecuted, however--apart from the fact that going through the necessary motions often puts the victim through yet more physical and emotional pain, shame and humiliation--is the grey area wherein the victim isn't actually sure whether s/he was "raped"/"sexually assaulted" or not. That's part of the danger with throwing drugs into the mix.

People think of DFSA as someone slipping roofies into cocktails. One of the most common DFSA drugs, though, is mere alcohol. Often what transpires is that a couple of people get drunk at a party and engage in activities that they otherwise would not. Sometimes the line blurs, and neither victim nor (in some circumstances) perpetrator can actually tell or [sometimes] even remember whether it was rape or consensual.

Obviously the case described in this thread sounds pretty clear-cut. And the subsequent victim shaming described above is equally abhorrent and despicable.

But it isn't always so simple, from a prosecutorial standpoint, for various reasons. It's a rather disconcerting reality.

For the record, it is NEVER ok to take advantage of someone with diminished capacity to give consent.

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